Ocala, FL - I love Floriduh. You couldn’t pay me to live there, but I love it nonetheless. During my time here at the Dreamin’ Demon, Florida has provided me with many entertaining, sometimes gag-inducing stories. And this one, well, that would fall into the gag-inducing category. Please allow me to introduce 41-year-old Venus Lewis. Cute, ain’t she? Ms. Lewis enjoys football, tag, alcohol, and younger men. Much younger men. While attending a teen football game at the E.D. Croskey Recreation Center last SaturdaySaturday reviews, Venus allegedly initiated a rousing game of tag with a couple of teen boys. She laid out the rules: “If I catch ya, I’m gonna have sex with ya.” Simple enough. And I’m sure those lads ran their little legs right off!! (Personally, if Venus was playing that game with me, you can guaran-fucking-tee I would have set a new world land speed record). Weary from the chase, Venus took a breather and chose that little break in the fun and games to drop trou’ and plug her flow hole with a tampon. The stop-leak was in place, but Venus was still all worked up – she needed to relieve some tension, so, she allegedly leaned back on a picnic table and began masturbating. If the teens weren’t already traumatized after having watched the plug insertion, that had to have sent them over the edge. According to police reports, the boys were under the age of 16, and at some point, Venus attempted to grab the underdeveloped package of another young boy. Police believe that alcohol may have played a factor. No. Shit. Venus Lewis was booked on charges of lewd and lascivious exhibition and battery. She is being held on $25,000 bond. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the store for a couple gallons of brainBrain Age reviews bleach. [Read more...]

Cleveland – That’s right, Dreamins, I am leaving this Popsicle stand and going to go apply at Saint Joseph Academy in Cleveland. Looks like they have two teacher’s positions open and I could not think of a better working environment. Seems that one teacher has been let go because of sexual misconduct, and the other let go because they knew about the relationship and did not report it. But from reading the comments, the rumors about this teacher where well known so I can only assume that this type of activity is encouraged? But others are not so easily quick to believe the charges. “I just don’t think it ever happened, because I don’t think any father would do something that they wouldn’t want some guy doing to their daughter,” says 2008 St. Joseph graduate, Jillian Zarefoss. The underlining was by me because I wanted to reply to that statement with “Bwuahahahahahahahaha!” Anyway, wish me luck. [Read more...]

Albuquerque, NM – We have posted many stories about the varied and sometimes bizarre things men will stick, or attempt to stick, their dick in, on, or around. AnimalsAnimals reviews – alive and dead – picnic tables, beastly teachers, etc. But I can’t recall ever having written a story about a dude humpin’ his car. I’ve known men in my life who came pretty damn close to that kind of relationship with their vehicle, but they never stepped across that line. Danny Brawner did – and in full view of an off-duty police officer and his 10-year-old son. Damn – not exactly the audience you want when you got your pants around your ankles tryin’ to get a little trunk action. [Read more...]

Orlando, FL- About 2 weeks ago, a mother at the Enclave Suites Hotel noticed 41-year old David Shapiro was acting odd near the hotel’s pool area. Shapiro had stripped down to his underwear, covered his face with his shirt and performed a lewd act in front of other people at the pool. The mother took pictures of Shapiro’s performance, as well as his license plate, and forwarded all of her photos to the police. The Orange County Sheriff’s Office began surveillance of Shapiro and learned what a busy boy this talented tally-whacker was. [Read more...]

Port St. Lucie, Florida–The note read: “Can I please make love to you one more time? Please, I will let you play with my phone and you will get an X-box.” Who do you think this note written to? A. A 67-year-old woman. B. A 32-year-old man. C. Santa Claus. D. A 5-year-old girl. It’s only fair to give you a little background first, I guess. The author of that little love note is 27-year-old Robert William Payne. He is married to a woman with a couple of children. He is ‘fascinated’ with the object of his desire. His fantasies have landed him in similar situations before. Need more time to think on it? [Read more...]

Williston, Vermont–Robert Kolibas’ daughter was hosting a sleep-over last month. Being the kind and generous father that he is, Robert took it upon himself to whip up a couple of Smoothie’s for the kiddos and get them settled in front of the television to watch a flick. Awww…what a very  gracious host! Shortly after consuming the Smoothie’s, both girls fell asleep in front of the TV. Sounds like a successful slumber party, no? No. Robert’s 13-year-old house guest was rudely awakened by the skeevy, nasty, old perv feeling her up and attempting to remove her clothes. [Read more...]

Grand Isle County, VT–I can’t believe I’m even writing this story, I mean, look at that guy. Would you hire him on as a nanny? Call me sexist, call me close-minded, call me tomorrow, whatever. After looking at those moogly eyes, there is no way in hell I would allow Douglas Shepherd to care for my rabbit, let alone my children. However, he advertised his services as a nanny on eNannysource.com, and they matched him up with a family with two young boys, one of them autistic. Now what do you think he did to end up here? I’ll give you three guesses… [Read more...]

Goleta, California -  Glenn Merrill, 59, needed a little help around his house, or so he said. He put an ad on CraigslistCraigslist wanting to hire a caregiver who could help with household duties several times a week.  The ad never mentioned he was looking for a little more than just dusting and cleaning. When a woman showed up to interview, Merrill invited her inside his home.  While informing her that one of her duties would be helping him take a shower, he took off his clothes and began to masturbate. [Read more...]

Hastings, Minnesota–I’m not going to waste a bunch of your time with this freak, but because of this particular perversion, the manner in which it was carried out, and the age of his victim, I felt he deserved a few lines of text and a mugshot placement here on the good ‘ol Dreamin’ Demon. James Albert Silbernagel, 41, is a belly button licker. While that, in itself, isn’t particularly strange, the fact that he licked the belly button of an 11-year-old boy is more than just slightly nauseating. [Read more...]

Memphis, TN- On May 29, 12-year old Tiara Johnson and her sister were riding bikes near their home in Nutbush when 29 year-old Eddy Barreras pulled his car up beside them. Barreras repeatedly told the girls to get into his car, but Tiara knew better. She told her sister to run and they raced across a yard to their home and told their mother. Their mother hopped in her car with the girls and chased after Barreras long enough to write down his plate number. [Read more...]

Largo, FL- Imagine you are a woman spending the night at your boyfriend’s home and you awake in the middle of the night to the realization that someone is fondling you. This does not seem too alarming, at first, due the fact that you are sleeping next to your boyfriend. Now imagine after you open your eyes you realize that it’s not one of your boyfriend’s hands that has gotten all touchy-feely, but, instead, the hand belongs to his roommate. [Read more...]

Zumbrota, Minnesota–Nothing ruins a good sleepover like daddy getting sloshed and all touchy-feely with the young ‘ens after the lights go out. I guess that’s one way to guarantee your child never asks for permission to host a slumber party again. Jacob Myran, 25, is being accused of sexually assaulting his daughter’s 8-year-old friend during a sleepover. [Read more...]

Detroit, MI- I just love it when I hear a feel-good story about a criminal getting thwarted, especially when the circumstances involve a child. Sadly, we don’t get enough of them.This last Thursday afternoon, a 6-year old girl was playing in her front yard when a man grabbed her and took her inside an abandoned house. A neighbor, James Allen Mazzie, heard the girl crying and decided to take a peek inside the home. When he seen the man huddled over the child, Mazzie immediately ran to get his friend. [Read more...]

Fort Wayne, Indiana – I swear, sometimes this stuff just writes itself.  Dale Keith Tucker, 57, was a part-time faculty member and the piano accompanist for the University Singers at Indiana University-Purdue University in Fort Wayne.  He was also the music director and organist at one of the Methodist churches in the area.  Unfortunately for Tucker, he is now neither.  Not because of the awful economy, but because he was found to have been tickling his own ivories with the organ of a 15 year old boy.

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