Newnan, GA - A woman was visiting a Barnes and Noble bookstore with her infant last SaturdaySaturday reviews afternoon when she and her child became unwilling participants in some creepy pissant’s masturbatory fantasy. The woman, reading a book just feet away from her 5-month-old daughter, looked up to see a man standing over the child, his peener in hand. She did what any weirded out woman would do in that position, she screamed and started off after the guy. He paused in the alleged beating of his meat and beat feet out the door while mom called 911. The woman was able to get his tag number and a BOLOBolo reviews was issued for the offensive asshat’s car – he was pulled over a short time later. The skeevy bastid, identified as 50-year-old Joseph Smirniotis, was taken back to the bookstore and positively identified by the woman and another witness. He is now piddling his pud behind bars and is looking at charges of child molestation and public indecency. Bond was set at $25,000.

Virginia Beach – More masturbating hijinks this Thursday! Darrin Smith was representing Charlotte, NC while at a Virginia Beach Mall the other night. Police say that while inside a Victoria’s Secret, shoppers witnessed Smith exposing himself and performing a sex act behind a customer. Customers and employees joined forces and followed Smith around the mall until police arrived on the scene. Smith is now sitting in jail without bond on charges of indecent exposure and sexual battery. Smith should’ve done what I do when I visit Victoria’s Secret. I stay outside of the store and simply press myself up against it and start licking the window like a very tasty ice cream cone while staring at one of the sexy mannequins or posters they have hanging up. If I’m feeling really randy, I’ll press my tongue flat on the window and try to spell out obscene words with my saliva. The ladies love that one.

El Segundo – El Segundo residents can berathe a sigh of relief as it seems as if the flasher that has been harassing local teenage girls has been apprehended. Reports of a flasher started as far back as 2008, but police have had trouble catching him even though his pattern rarely wavered. After spotting teenage girls in the early morning hours, he would park his car in a nearby alley, get out and then masturbate in front of them. Last Thursday, an off-duty El Segundo police officer noticed a man fitting the description of the flasher, driving a silver Infiniti slowly around the Richmond Street Elementary School. Police were called and the vehicle stopped. It was being drivin by 39-year-old Jeffrey William Freeman and inside his car police found personal lubricant and a hand towel. Not really damning evidence as I carry the same items. Everywhere I go. Freeman was released after being questioned for 6 hours, only to later be arrested at a Santa Monica hotel on a charge of suspicion of indecent exposure. [Read more...]

St. Helens, OR – Over a period of six days in January, police received three separate reports of a flasher doing his skeevy thing at two different laundromats. In one incident, the flasher approached a woman and asked her to perform a sexual favor before exposing his junk. In the second incident, he gained the attention of some poor woman and began masturbating in front of her. And in the third, Super Skeeve physically grabbed a woman before whipping it out. As if having to use the laundromat isn’t bad enough. The serial flasher was described as a white man with crooked teeth – one of them decayed and bluish in color. In one incident the flasher was wearing a red hoodie and blue or green pajama pants. In another, he wore black shorts and a black hooded sweatshirt with a skull logo on the back. His get-away vehicle was a silver mini-van. Damn – dude sounds HOTHot reviews! After receiving numerous tips from the public, authorities finally caught up with one Ian Rushing. During questioning, Ian, 27, copped to at least one of the indecent incidents and was promptly jailed on charges of public indecency (to the 10th degree, if you ask me), third-degree sex abuse and probation violation. Bail was set at $20,000. After checking out his mugshot, which can be viewed after the jump, I find it hard to believe women aren’t paying him to whip it out! [Read more...]

Seattle – A bartender at 13 Coins restaurant called police on a man who was sitting at the bar and staring at her while fondling himself. The man, later identified as 41-year-old Basim Salim Abdul-Rahim, took off before police arrived – but he left something behind. A jar of Vaseline. Two days later the same bartender called police to report that the man had showed up at the restaurant and was once again sitting at the bar. This time police caught up to Abdul-Rahim, and found his hands were coated with petroleum jelly. They asked why the hell his hands were covered in Vaseline, and he told them he’d been having phone sex with his wife. His wife denies this, but did inform police that her husband had previously been convicted on similar charges in Clallam County. Abdul-Rahim, also known as James Thomas Triblett, has been charged with indecent exposure with sexual motivation.

ChicagoChicago reviews - While looking for an image to use in the pants-less driver story, I stumbled upon this story. On Thursday afternoon Reginald Ray, 42, was arrested shortly after leaving a North Side Starbucks. WitnessesWitnesses reviews claim that RayRay reviews had been inside fondling himself while staring at women. One witness even recorded his actions on cell phone video and burned it to DVD. I am hoping that this person finds us and anonymously emails us a clip so we can post it. Ray was charged with two counts of public indecency and one count of possession of cannabis, all misdemeanors. Like I asked in the other story, anyone have any public flashing stories? Not talking about your drunk-ass flashing your tits for some cheap beads at Mardi Gras…but rather some perv jacking his cock at you in a Wal-Mart or something. What do you think should be done with people like this? Are they harmless, or embarking in behavior that leads to more serious crimes?

BROOKLINE, Mass. – I swear to God this is not me. I don’t live anywhere near Massachusetts. Two young girls were walking home from Lincoln School sometime after 2 p.m. Thursday when a man drove up asking for directions. He was not wearing pants. Police said the man did not expose himself to the girls or say anything suggestive, but they don’t want to take any chances and have alerted parents in the area – especially since the street he wanted directions to did not exist. The driver is described as a man in his late 20s or early 30s, with curly brown hair (snicker). Anyone with information is asked to call Brookline police at 617-730-2222. I never get these people who expose themselves in public like this. Anyone ever have any experiences with someone flashing their junk at you? [Read more...]

WARNER ROBINS, GeorgiaGeorgia reviews – While a substitute teacher taught a 4th period class at Warner Robins Middle school, an 8th grader asked a fellow student to perform oral sex on him in the back of the class. She agreed and did so while other students looked on. After the class was over a student reported the incident to the assistant principal Cameron Andrews. Both students are being detained at the Crisp Regional Youth Detention Center and charged with public indecency, sodomy and disruption of public school. The male student will also be charged with solicitation of sodomy and violation of probation, said Capt. Jerry Stewart of the Juvenile Division of the Houston County Sheriff’s Office. The substitute teacher may also face disciplinary action. Ok, surprisingly I am not shocked by this story – but in regards to the playah…violation of probation? [Read more...]

Opelousas, LA – Psssst! Come here. CloserCloser reviews. I got a secret for ya. You wanna know what it takes to get me all hot and bothered? Forget diamonds and pearls or cars and money. Nah – to get me going you gotta get my ass down to the local courthouse. Oh yeah, baby. The courthouse does it for me every time. The disgruntled employees, the long lines, the malingering odors, that sexy fluorescent lighting – it’s hot. I can barely contain myself just thinking about the sexiness that is a visit to the courthouse. The only thing that could possibly be more enjoyable would be a trip to Wal-Mart on Christmas Eve. Frank Lahay must feel the same way, for he was busted, on camera, jerkin’ his gherkin at the St. Landry Parish Courthouse. He was mighty thorough about it, too. [Read more...]

Boise, Idaho – Kyle Cameron Dennis, 37, is a math teacher and varsity boys basketball coach at Capital High School who has been arrested on a misdemeanor charge of obscene live conduct in a public place. Basically, he got busted “knowingly engaged in obscene conduct…by manipulating his penis with his hands while walking around a store with an erection.” If this had been a one time thing, I would be crying foul. But Kyle seems to find himself in this situation a lot. Once in February of this year, and twice in June. These stores included a Costco as well as a Walmart. Boise School Board placed him on paid administrative leave Monday, pending the outcome of his court case, District Spokesman Dan Hollar said. [Read more...]

Ocala, FL - I love Floriduh. You couldn’t pay me to live there, but I love it nonetheless. During my time here at the Dreamin’ Demon, Florida has provided me with many entertaining, sometimes gag-inducing stories. And this one, well, that would fall into the gag-inducing category. Please allow me to introduce 41-year-old Venus Lewis. Cute, ain’t she? Ms. Lewis enjoys football, tag, alcohol, and younger men. Much younger men. While attending a teen football game at the E.D. Croskey Recreation Center last SaturdaySaturday reviews, Venus allegedly initiated a rousing game of tag with a couple of teen boys. She laid out the rules: “If I catch ya, I’m gonna have sex with ya.” Simple enough. And I’m sure those lads ran their little legs right off!! (Personally, if Venus was playing that game with me, you can guaran-fucking-tee I would have set a new world land speed record). Weary from the chase, Venus took a breather and chose that little break in the fun and games to drop trou’ and plug her flow hole with a tampon. The stop-leak was in place, but Venus was still all worked up – she needed to relieve some tension, so, she allegedly leaned back on a picnic table and began masturbating. If the teens weren’t already traumatized after having watched the plug insertion, that had to have sent them over the edge. According to police reports, the boys were under the age of 16, and at some point, Venus attempted to grab the underdeveloped package of another young boy. Police believe that alcohol may have played a factor. No. Shit. Venus Lewis was booked on charges of lewd and lascivious exhibition and battery. She is being held on $25,000 bond. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the store for a couple gallons of brainBrain Age reviews bleach. [Read more...]

Sheboygan, WI- Here’s another persistent pervert who cannot seem to keep his wanker under wraps. In 1997, David C. Meyer was convicted of four misdemeanor counts of exposing his genitals to a child. Then in AugustAugust reviews 2007, he repeatedly drove past two 12-year-old girls he was attracted to. Meyer was sentenced to 90 days in jail for the stalking offense, but was allowed to serve the time on electronic monitoring in order to get in-patient mental health treatment. That sentence ended on August 3 and wouldn’t you know it…Meyer has once again been arrested for placing his penis on display. [Read more...]

Memphis, TN- On May 29, 12-year old Tiara Johnson and her sister were riding bikes near their home in Nutbush when 29 year-old Eddy Barreras pulled his car up beside them. Barreras repeatedly told the girls to get into his car, but Tiara knew better. She told her sister to run and they raced across a yard to their home and told their mother. Their mother hopped in her car with the girls and chased after Barreras long enough to write down his plate number. [Read more...]

Alcoa, TN- As I was sitting here in front of my keyboard dressed in my usual work attire ( Tinkerbell pajamas with periwinkle blue slippers) and first began reading about this story, two questions came to mind. How the hell did this woman master the trick of spraying officers with her own urine and why, oh fucking why, can’t I be graced by the Gods of Demented Demon-ship and be allowed to find at least one mugshot of this truculent tigress? At first, I believed finding a pic was hopeless, but thanks to the detective skills of one of my favorite members, Tazzzz, Cindy Lynn Holder’s mug is now gracing our front page. [Read more...]