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Johnathan FaneyttLONG ISLAND, NY – Police have arrested three men after they attempted to kill a man who is either a zombie or a vampire.

According to reports, 27-year-old Giordanni Osse went to a home Monday night to retrieve clothing that belonged to a female acquaintance.

The three occupants inside – members of the Latin Kings street gang – were not happy to see him.

This could’ve been because Osse is a member of the rival Bloods gang, or because Osse may have broken into the home. That latter detail still isn’t clear but even if he had, Nassau Police Commissioner Thomas Krumpter said what happened next did not fit the criteria of “reasonable” self-defense.

The home’s three occupants – Johnathan Faneytt, 21; Jesus Maldonado, 22; and Jorge Freire-Romero – punched, kicked and hit Osse in the head with a handgun. They then handcuffed Osse and placed in a bathtub where he was stabbed 12 times with a steak knife.

Police say Osse was then tied to a chair for hours and beat “within inches of his life.” Afterwards, Osse was put in a car and dumped on a street three miles away without his shoes or pants.…

Derek LawsonCLEARWATER, FL – Derek Lawson is behind bars after the 26-year-old was accused of raping a woman before repeatedly stabbing her vagina.

According to police, Lawson kidnapped a woman then proceeded to beat and choke her until she passed out. Afterwards, he brutally raped the woman and used a sharpened object to “repeatedly stab her vagina.”

The woman managed to get help after Lawson left her for dead. She required emergency surgery after the attack to repair the multiple cuts and stab wounds she had suffered.

Lawson was picked up on Thursday and charged with kidnapping with bodily harm, sexual battery with a deadly weapon and attempted felony murder. He is being held at the Pinellas County jail with no bond.

As you might have suspected, based on his current charges, this is not Lawson’s first run-in with the law. He was arrested in 2014 on similar charges of kidnapping and sexually battering women, and has spent time in jail for marijuana possession and reckless driving.…

Michael BernhardWILL COUNTY, ILLINOIS – Police have charged 22-year-old Michael Bernhard with attempted murder after they say he tried stabbing his mother to death so he could collect the insurance money.

Bernhard’s mother was taking him to the train station so he could go back college when he asked her to stop backing out of the driveway because he forgot something in the house.

When Bernhard returned, he pulled out a six-inch butcher knife and began stabbing his mother. She managed to fight him off and slam her door shut before backing out of the driveway. A relative witnessed the attack and called 911.

Police arrived on the scene and arrested Bernhard. He has been charged with attempted murder, aggravated unlawful use of a weapon and aggravated domestic battery.

According to a statement from the Will County sheriff’s office, Bernhard was trying to kill his mother so he could collect the insurance money to pay for his college tuition.

His plan failed miserably because not only did he get caught, his mother survived the attack.…

Anna YoccaMURFREESBORO, TN – Police in Tennessee have charged Anna Yocca with attempted first-degree murder after she tried using a coat hanger to kill her unborn child and, well, made a mess.

Back in September, the 31-year-old filled a bathtub with water and tried to abort her 24-week-old baby by stabbing it to death with a coat hanger.

She got scared when she started bleeding, so she had her boyfriend take her to the hospital where she told the staff she wanted to terminate her pregnancy. Instead, doctors delivered her 1.5 pound baby boy.

Because of Yocca’s lack of follow-through, the boy will now need medical support for the rest of his life due to the damage Yocca had done to his lungs, eyes, and heart.

“The whole time she was concerned for her health, her safety and never gave any attention to the health and safety to the unborn child,” said Sergeant Kyle Evans.

Police arrested Yocca on Wednesday, charging her with attempted first-degree murder. She was ordered jailed in the Rutherford County Adult Detention Center on a $200,000 bond.…

Jennifer BarnesWILLOWICK, OH – Police have arrested two sisters after they say the duo used braided computer cables to strangle their 56-year-old mother on Thanksgiving, before trying to smother her with a pillow.

The mother of Jennifer Barnes, 23, and Joanna Barnes, 24, called police to her home on Thanksgiving, asking that they check on her two daughters. She didn’t tell them what had happened until the next day when she went to the hospital with with injuries and bruising to her neck.

According to reports, the sisters placed USB cables around their mother’s neck and then each grabbed an end and pulled. Their mother was able to get free, only to have one of the sisters try to strangle her with a towel while the other tried smothering her with a pillow.

During the attack, one sister allegedly told her mother, “You are going to die tonight.” The woman was able to get free from her daughters again, then run from the house and call police.

Jennifer and Joanna were both arrested without incident and charged with attempted murder.…

Paw EhDALLAS, TX — Police have charged 31-year-old Paw Eh with attempted murder after they say she forced her young son to ingest rat poison.

Police were called to the Newport Landing apartments on Saturday after receiving a 911 call from one of Eh’s relatives. Once there, they spoke with Eh’s 12-year-old daughter who told them her other was trying to kill her and her two siblings.

She said that after Eh told her she was going to kill them and then herself, she put rat poison on a spoon and tried to force her 4-year-old son to drink it. When he kept his mouth shut, Eh allegedly slapped her son and forced the poison into his mouth.

She then tried to get her 12-year-old and 7-year-old to do the same, but when they saw what she was doing they booked it over to their grandmother’s nearby apartment and told her what was going on.

The boy was taken to the hospital in critical condition but has since stabilized. Her other two children are in the custody of Child Protective Services.…

Christina BalaziWEST PALM BEACH, FL – Last month we had a man who ripped out his girlfriend’s intestines after she called out another man’s name during sex. Now we have a woman in Florida who repeatedly stabbed her husband after he called out another woman’s name during sex.

According to police, 39-year-old Christina Balazi and her husband of 10 years were having sex when he uttered another woman’s name.

Balazi became so enraged over the slight that she allegedly pulled a sheet over her husband’s head, straddled him and then stabbed him in the chest and neck at least seven times with a kitchen knife.

Her husband said after feeling sharp pains in his chest, neck and head, he removed the sheet and saw his wife straddling him while holding the knife. He told police he was able to get the knife away from her and run outside.

According to the police report, Balazi ran after him yelling “I’m tired of this!” before she got into her car and fled the scene.…

hortonAVON PARK, FL – I plan on being a feisty old fart. I’m going to shimmy my old lady ass as I shuffle board in the morning, and drink a few margaritas while I play strip poker in the evening. I’m going to be amazing.

What I won’t be doing is waving my gun at the help, or being a general cantankerous ass like 91-year-old Max Horton, who was arrested after threatening to kill a landscaper for getting grass clippings on his car.

Robert Hendrix was working at Horton’s home when the elderly man confronted him about grass clippings that had landed on his car. Hendrix, who has known Horton for 14 years, brushed the grass off the car but Horton went apeshit, saying he was going to “fix the problem himself.”

Horton pulled out a gun from a pouch on his hip, then ordered Hendrix to his knees while telling Hendrix he was going to kill him. Hendrix begged “please don’t kill me” while backing up on his knees. Johnny Barnes, Hendrix’s coworker, saw this unfolding and approached Horton as he fired off a shot at Hendrix and then aimed the gun at Barnes.…

Alan LassiterDURHAM, NC — Police have arrested 29-year-old Alan Lassiter after he admitted he’d tried drowning his three small children in an apartment complex’s pond.

After Lassiter tossed his children into the pond Sunday night, an off duty sheriff’s deputy who lives in the complex was able to pull out Lassiter’s daughters, ages 3 and 5, and start administering CPR. Lassiter’s 7-year-old son was able to get away unharmed and run for help.

Lassiter called 911 afterwards and told the dispatcher what he had done, and why he did it. As you may have already guessed, it was everyone else’s fault but his own.

“I just drowned my two daughters in the lake back there ’cause CPS wanted to take them away from me,” he said. “I was dealing with some pedophilia things, OK, OK. I was dealing with some sexual desires that I was trying to get some help with, but instead they turned their back on me, the whole system, and tried to take my kids, and they took the rest of the, of the little happiness that I had.”

He then goes on to tell the dispatcher that chucking his children in a lake was a teaching aid that he hopes they will learn from.…

Andre BauthLOS ANGELES, CA – Police are looking for Andre Bauth, an Emmy award-winning producer, accused of stabbing an actor in the chest during an argument.

According to the victim, 23-year-old Clayton Haymes, Bauth is his landlord and manager. He says that after returning home from dinner and drinks with his roommates Tuesday morning, Bauth got a little angry when they laughed at Bauth stating he would one day win five Oscars.

“When he said ‘five Oscars,’ we all just kinda laughed a little bit, and he got really upset,” Haymes said.

Which, if Haymes is to be believed, is an understatement. Bauth allegedly grabbed a knife and chased Haymes into a room where he stabbed him in the chest then left the house. Bauth, who won a daytime Emmy as a producer for the television series The Bay, has not been seen since.

Haymes was taken to the hospital where he was treated for a punctured lung. “I was terrified for my life. I’m just happy to be alive,” he said.…

Laura StuardoROME — Investigators have launched an attempted murder investigation after a woman awoke from a six week coma and told police she hadn’t tried to kill herself by jumping off a cruise ship.

On July 19, the 53-year-old Laura Stuardo was on a cruise with her boyfriend, 55-year-old Giovanni Pia. The couple had booked the cruise in an attempt to fix their broken relationship.

While the ship was docked in a Norwegian port, Stuardo fell 115 feet from the couple’s cabin balcony into the fjord below. Pia would tell investigators that Stuardo had jumped off the balcony in an attempt to kill herself.

A camera on the ship contradicted that statement a bit, as it showed Stuardo hanging from the balcony for a few seconds before falling into the water. Other passengers described hearing a loud argument coming from the couple’s room shortly before Stuardo fell.

As for Stuardo, she wasn’t saying much at the time. Not because she was dead, though. Remarkably, she survived the fall but suffered injuries to her head, lung, stomach and spleen.…

Amy KeeverGREENWOOD, IN — Donn Keever threw gasoline on his estranged wife and set her on fire before dying in a fiery crash after running head-first into a semi.

On Friday, Keever doused Amy Keever with gasoline and then set her on fire in front of their kids. A neighbor heard Amy screaming and ran over to help, watching as Donn drove away in his truck.

“She wasn’t on fire just a little bit. She was on fire. I can’t get it out of my head. It’s nothing I would ever imagine seeing,” said witness Jennifer Lewis.

She managed to help Amy put the flames that had burned off a large portion of Amy’s clothes, and call 911. Amy was rushed to the hospital suffering from serious burns over a large portion of her body.

Donn Keever was seen later that day speeding the wrong way down I-65. Witnesses say Keever abruptly turned into the path of a semi, crashing into it head-on. The truck flipped onto its side, but Keever’s truck continued going until it burst into flames after it cashed into another vehicle and a concrete barrier.…

Nicole ParkerBAKER, FL – Nicole Parker, 30, was arrested for attempting to murder her husband by slitting his throat with a pocket knife.

Nicole Parker was in a truck driving around with her husband, 35-year-old Jerald Parker, and her ex-husband, when she and Jerald started arguing.

Jerald stopped to piss, at which point Nicole and her ex took off in the truck.  Jerald walked home, making it there just before midnight. When get got there, Nicole and her ex were waiting and a fight started between Jerald and Nicole’s ex-husband.

During the fight, Nicole came up behind Jerald, pulled his head back with her left hand, and used a folding knife to slit his throat. As if that wasn’t enough, she then stabbed him under his left arm.

Jerald began bleeding, as one who has just had his throat slit by a crazy woman does, and Nicole then took off leaving Jerald to bleed to death.

Luckily for Jerald, his family was able to stop him from hemorrhaging by applying pressure to his wounds.…

Nyia ParlerPhiladelphia, PA — This bitch. This cheery, smiling, happy-looking bitch right here has been accused of ditching her disabled 21-year-old son in the forest, with nothing but a blanket and a bible, so she could toddle off and hang with her boyfriend in Maryland for a minute.

According to police, 41-year-old Nyia Parler wheeled her non-verbal, quadriplegic son, who also suffers from cerebral palsy, into a wooded area sometime last Monday. She took the man from his chair and laid him on the ground nearby. She then covered him with a blanket, placed a bible on his chest, and walked away. And there he remained, in the cold and rain, for five fucking days.

When the man failed to show up for his scheduled classes at the School of the Future, school officials attempted to reach Parler. When she didn’t answer, they contacted the man’s aunt. She, in turn, contacted Parler.

Parler, the bitch, lied to the woman, claiming her son was there in Maryland, safe and sound, with her.…

Porche WrightSACRAMENTO, CA – Police have arrested 27-year-old Porche Wright after they say she doused her 7-year-old daughter with a flammable liquid then set her on fire.

Police were called to Wright’s home on a report of child abuse after a friend of Wright’s came over and discovered the suspect’s daughter covered in serious burns.

Paramedics rushed the girl to the hospital suffering from severe wounds. She is expected to survive and remains under treatment at Shriner’s Children’s Hospital.

Wright was arrested and booked into the Sacramento County Jail on charges of felony child abuse and attempted murder charges. She’s being held without bail.

This isn’t Wright’s first run-in with the law, having previously been charged with prostitution, domestic violence and disorderly conduct.

One neighbor said that Wright “put gas on her and put a match on her,” while another described some of the young girl’s injuries.

“She was burned so bad the skin was peeling off her face and everything … it was really, really severe,”  said neighbor Frank Taylor.…

Kayla ZornCHESTERFIELD TOWNSHIP, MI – Police have arrested 29-year-old Kayla Zorn after they say she intentionally set a trailer on fire, knowing her ex-boyfriend, two other adults and three young children were inside.

According to reports, Zorn poured gasoline around the trailer of her ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend 45 minutes after he changed his relationship status on Facebook. The ex smelled gas then saw the smoke and flames around the doorways of his trailer.

He tried to putting out the fire while two other adults living in the trailer got the children – ages 5, 3, and 1 – out and called 911.

Police would find Zorn’s pickup truck parked a block away with two empty gas canisters in the back. They would find her standing in a yard between two homes just down the street, watching the fire. Smelling heavily of gasoline, she couldn’t explain what she was doing there.

She would later tell police she was upset with her ex about the way their relationship ended, and knew young children were in the trailer when she set it on fire. …

Eldridge DukesBATON ROUGE, LA – Police have arrested 58-year-old Eldridge Dukes after they say he shot his 18-year-old son in the ass during an argument over orange juice.

Dukes and his son got into an argument on Sunday about having no orange juice that led to the teenager breaking a vase.

In response, Dukes grabbed a handgun and chased his son out of the house and down the street, firing several times. His son was hit once in the ass and suffered non-life-threatening injuries, say police.

Dukes was arrested and placed in the parish prison on counts of attempted manslaughter and illegal use of a dangerous weapon.

Some people just take their food seriously, man. A couple of months ago a 14-year-old stabbed his older brother to death over a soft drink and a bag of chips, and last year a man choked the shit out of his cookie eating roommate.…

devil spawnBOULDER COUNTY, CO – A 12-year-old girl in Colorado has been detained by police after authorities say she tried to murder her mother with bleach because her iPhone was taken away.

The sheriff’s office received a phone call from the girl’s mother as she was in the hospital. She told them that she fell ill after drinking a glass of water that smelled like bleach.

She informed them that a few days earlier she had gotten ill after drinking a smoothie. After this most recent incident, she told police she confronted her daughter who allegedly admitted she’d purposely poured bleach in her beverages in an attempt to kill her.

The girl reportedly said she was angry with her mother for taking away her iPhone.

Police detained the 12-year-old and placed her in a juvenile detention center on two counts of attempted first-degree murder, according to the sheriff’s office.

“She had pre-planned this a couple different times,” Sgt. Bill Crist of the sheriff’s office said.

Now it is up to the district attorney to decide what charges they may pursue against the girl. …


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