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Christina BalaziWEST PALM BEACH, FL – Last month we had a man who ripped out his girlfriend’s intestines after she called out another man’s name during sex. Now we have a woman in Florida who repeatedly stabbed her husband after he called out another woman’s name during sex.

According to police, 39-year-old Christina Balazi and her husband of 10 years were having sex when he uttered another woman’s name.

Balazi became so enraged over the slight that she allegedly pulled a sheet over her husband’s head, straddled him and then stabbed him in the chest and neck at least seven times with a kitchen knife.

Her husband said after feeling sharp pains in his chest, neck and head, he removed the sheet and saw his wife straddling him while holding the knife. He told police he was able to get the knife away from her and run outside.

According to the police report, Balazi ran after him yelling “I’m tired of this!” before she got into her car and fled the scene.…

hortonAVON PARK, FL – I plan on being a feisty old fart. I’m going to shimmy my old lady ass as I shuffle board in the morning, and drink a few margaritas while I play strip poker in the evening. I’m going to be amazing.

What I won’t be doing is waving my gun at the help, or being a general cantankerous ass like 91-year-old Max Horton, who was arrested after threatening to kill a landscaper for getting grass clippings on his car.

Robert Hendrix was working at Horton’s home when the elderly man confronted him about grass clippings that had landed on his car. Hendrix, who has known Horton for 14 years, brushed the grass off the car but Horton went apeshit, saying he was going to “fix the problem himself.”

Horton pulled out a gun from a pouch on his hip, then ordered Hendrix to his knees while telling Hendrix he was going to kill him. Hendrix begged “please don’t kill me” while backing up on his knees. Johnny Barnes, Hendrix’s coworker, saw this unfolding and approached Horton as he fired off a shot at Hendrix and then aimed the gun at Barnes.…

Alan LassiterDURHAM, NC — Police have arrested 29-year-old Alan Lassiter after he admitted he’d tried drowning his three small children in an apartment complex’s pond.

After Lassiter tossed his children into the pond Sunday night, an off duty sheriff’s deputy who lives in the complex was able to pull out Lassiter’s daughters, ages 3 and 5, and start administering CPR. Lassiter’s 7-year-old son was able to get away unharmed and run for help.

Lassiter called 911 afterwards and told the dispatcher what he had done, and why he did it. As you may have already guessed, it was everyone else’s fault but his own.

“I just drowned my two daughters in the lake back there ’cause CPS wanted to take them away from me,” he said. “I was dealing with some pedophilia things, OK, OK. I was dealing with some sexual desires that I was trying to get some help with, but instead they turned their back on me, the whole system, and tried to take my kids, and they took the rest of the, of the little happiness that I had.”

He then goes on to tell the dispatcher that chucking his children in a lake was a teaching aid that he hopes they will learn from.…

Andre BauthLOS ANGELES, CA – Police are looking for Andre Bauth, an Emmy award-winning producer, accused of stabbing an actor in the chest during an argument.

According to the victim, 23-year-old Clayton Haymes, Bauth is his landlord and manager. He says that after returning home from dinner and drinks with his roommates Tuesday morning, Bauth got a little angry when they laughed at Bauth stating he would one day win five Oscars.

“When he said ‘five Oscars,’ we all just kinda laughed a little bit, and he got really upset,” Haymes said.

Which, if Haymes is to be believed, is an understatement. Bauth allegedly grabbed a knife and chased Haymes into a room where he stabbed him in the chest then left the house. Bauth, who won a daytime Emmy as a producer for the television series The Bay, has not been seen since.

Haymes was taken to the hospital where he was treated for a punctured lung. “I was terrified for my life. I’m just happy to be alive,” he said.…

Laura StuardoROME — Investigators have launched an attempted murder investigation after a woman awoke from a six week coma and told police she hadn’t tried to kill herself by jumping off a cruise ship.

On July 19, the 53-year-old Laura Stuardo was on a cruise with her boyfriend, 55-year-old Giovanni Pia. The couple had booked the cruise in an attempt to fix their broken relationship.

While the ship was docked in a Norwegian port, Stuardo fell 115 feet from the couple’s cabin balcony into the fjord below. Pia would tell investigators that Stuardo had jumped off the balcony in an attempt to kill herself.

A camera on the ship contradicted that statement a bit, as it showed Stuardo hanging from the balcony for a few seconds before falling into the water. Other passengers described hearing a loud argument coming from the couple’s room shortly before Stuardo fell.

As for Stuardo, she wasn’t saying much at the time. Not because she was dead, though. Remarkably, she survived the fall but suffered injuries to her head, lung, stomach and spleen.…

Amy KeeverGREENWOOD, IN — Donn Keever threw gasoline on his estranged wife and set her on fire before dying in a fiery crash after running head-first into a semi.

On Friday, Keever doused Amy Keever with gasoline and then set her on fire in front of their kids. A neighbor heard Amy screaming and ran over to help, watching as Donn drove away in his truck.

“She wasn’t on fire just a little bit. She was on fire. I can’t get it out of my head. It’s nothing I would ever imagine seeing,” said witness Jennifer Lewis.

She managed to help Amy put the flames that had burned off a large portion of Amy’s clothes, and call 911. Amy was rushed to the hospital suffering from serious burns over a large portion of her body.

Donn Keever was seen later that day speeding the wrong way down I-65. Witnesses say Keever abruptly turned into the path of a semi, crashing into it head-on. The truck flipped onto its side, but Keever’s truck continued going until it burst into flames after it cashed into another vehicle and a concrete barrier.…

Nicole ParkerBAKER, FL – Nicole Parker, 30, was arrested for attempting to murder her husband by slitting his throat with a pocket knife.

Nicole Parker was in a truck driving around with her husband, 35-year-old Jerald Parker, and her ex-husband, when she and Jerald started arguing.

Jerald stopped to piss, at which point Nicole and her ex took off in the truck.  Jerald walked home, making it there just before midnight. When get got there, Nicole and her ex were waiting and a fight started between Jerald and Nicole’s ex-husband.

During the fight, Nicole came up behind Jerald, pulled his head back with her left hand, and used a folding knife to slit his throat. As if that wasn’t enough, she then stabbed him under his left arm.

Jerald began bleeding, as one who has just had his throat slit by a crazy woman does, and Nicole then took off leaving Jerald to bleed to death.

Luckily for Jerald, his family was able to stop him from hemorrhaging by applying pressure to his wounds.…

Nyia ParlerPhiladelphia, PA — This bitch. This cheery, smiling, happy-looking bitch right here has been accused of ditching her disabled 21-year-old son in the forest, with nothing but a blanket and a bible, so she could toddle off and hang with her boyfriend in Maryland for a minute.

According to police, 41-year-old Nyia Parler wheeled her non-verbal, quadriplegic son, who also suffers from cerebral palsy, into a wooded area sometime last Monday. She took the man from his chair and laid him on the ground nearby. She then covered him with a blanket, placed a bible on his chest, and walked away. And there he remained, in the cold and rain, for five fucking days.

When the man failed to show up for his scheduled classes at the School of the Future, school officials attempted to reach Parler. When she didn’t answer, they contacted the man’s aunt. She, in turn, contacted Parler.

Parler, the bitch, lied to the woman, claiming her son was there in Maryland, safe and sound, with her.…

Porche WrightSACRAMENTO, CA – Police have arrested 27-year-old Porche Wright after they say she doused her 7-year-old daughter with a flammable liquid then set her on fire.

Police were called to Wright’s home on a report of child abuse after a friend of Wright’s came over and discovered the suspect’s daughter covered in serious burns.

Paramedics rushed the girl to the hospital suffering from severe wounds. She is expected to survive and remains under treatment at Shriner’s Children’s Hospital.

Wright was arrested and booked into the Sacramento County Jail on charges of felony child abuse and attempted murder charges. She’s being held without bail.

This isn’t Wright’s first run-in with the law, having previously been charged with prostitution, domestic violence and disorderly conduct.

One neighbor said that Wright “put gas on her and put a match on her,” while another described some of the young girl’s injuries.

“She was burned so bad the skin was peeling off her face and everything … it was really, really severe,”  said neighbor Frank Taylor.…

Kayla ZornCHESTERFIELD TOWNSHIP, MI – Police have arrested 29-year-old Kayla Zorn after they say she intentionally set a trailer on fire, knowing her ex-boyfriend, two other adults and three young children were inside.

According to reports, Zorn poured gasoline around the trailer of her ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend 45 minutes after he changed his relationship status on Facebook. The ex smelled gas then saw the smoke and flames around the doorways of his trailer.

He tried to putting out the fire while two other adults living in the trailer got the children – ages 5, 3, and 1 – out and called 911.

Police would find Zorn’s pickup truck parked a block away with two empty gas canisters in the back. They would find her standing in a yard between two homes just down the street, watching the fire. Smelling heavily of gasoline, she couldn’t explain what she was doing there.

She would later tell police she was upset with her ex about the way their relationship ended, and knew young children were in the trailer when she set it on fire. …

Eldridge DukesBATON ROUGE, LA – Police have arrested 58-year-old Eldridge Dukes after they say he shot his 18-year-old son in the ass during an argument over orange juice.

Dukes and his son got into an argument on Sunday about having no orange juice that led to the teenager breaking a vase.

In response, Dukes grabbed a handgun and chased his son out of the house and down the street, firing several times. His son was hit once in the ass and suffered non-life-threatening injuries, say police.

Dukes was arrested and placed in the parish prison on counts of attempted manslaughter and illegal use of a dangerous weapon.

Some people just take their food seriously, man. A couple of months ago a 14-year-old stabbed his older brother to death over a soft drink and a bag of chips, and last year a man choked the shit out of his cookie eating roommate.…

devil spawnBOULDER COUNTY, CO – A 12-year-old girl in Colorado has been detained by police after authorities say she tried to murder her mother with bleach because her iPhone was taken away.

The sheriff’s office received a phone call from the girl’s mother as she was in the hospital. She told them that she fell ill after drinking a glass of water that smelled like bleach.

She informed them that a few days earlier she had gotten ill after drinking a smoothie. After this most recent incident, she told police she confronted her daughter who allegedly admitted she’d purposely poured bleach in her beverages in an attempt to kill her.

The girl reportedly said she was angry with her mother for taking away her iPhone.

Police detained the 12-year-old and placed her in a juvenile detention center on two counts of attempted first-degree murder, according to the sheriff’s office.

“She had pre-planned this a couple different times,” Sgt. Bill Crist of the sheriff’s office said.

Now it is up to the district attorney to decide what charges they may pursue against the girl. …

Dynel LaneLONGMONT, CO — Police have arrested 34-year-old Dynel Lane after they say she cut a baby out of a pregnant woman after luring the victim to her home under the pretense of selling baby clothes.

The 26-year-old victim, who was seven months pregnant, went to Lane’s home after responding to a Craigslist ad for baby clothes. Once there, police allege Lane attacked the woman and cut her fetus from her womb.

Police say that Lane’s husband drove her and the baby to the hospital where Lane carried in the victim’s dead baby and told hospital staff that she had suffered a miscarriage.

The victim was able to call 911 from Lane’s home where police would find her beaten and stabbed. She was taken to the hospital where she underwent surgery and is expected to survive.

Lane, a mother of two who once had a certified nurse’s aide credential, was arrested and charged with attempted first-degree murder, first-degree assault and child abuse knowingly/reckless resulting in death. Murder charges may or may not be filed against Lane.…

Linus NorgrenMANNING, OR – There was a lot of sobbing in a Washington County courtroom on Friday after 22-year-old Linus Norgren was convicted of the attempted murder of a hunter who found him naked in the woods.

In October 2013, Norgren walked into his brother’s room and began babbling about nonsense. He then punched out a window, cutting his hand, and wandered outside. He was eventually discovered by a hunter in the woods, standing by the hunter’s ATV.

Norgren approached the hunter and wrestled away his rifle, then allegedly said, “Sasquatch kills the hunter.” Norgren then knocked the hunter unconscious by hitting him over the head with a rock. When the hunter came to, Norgren was on top of him trying to remove his arms.

“When Mr. McDonald was unconscious, Linus Norgren, with unspeakable violence, caused two fractured and dislocated arms,” the prosecutor told the jury. “He systematically and violently ripped Mr. McDonald’s arms out of his torso.”

Norgren then began strangling the hunter, shoved his fingers down the man’s throat and gouged his eyes.…

Jenea MungiaHOUSTON, TX – A 4-year-old child is in critical condition after his mother viciously attacked him with a garden tool and mutilated his sexual organs.

A call to 911 by a passing FedEx driver alerted police to a woman who appeared to be giving a child CPR in the driveway of a home. The FedEx driver, Netha Preston, soon realized that woman was not trying to save the child when she witnessed the woman slamming the boy’s head onto the edge of the driveway.

“I thought she was giving him CPR, but then she started slamming his head on the edge of the concrete driveway. I turned so I could see, and she raised the knife and started stabbing the baby. She had to be sick, or on drugs,” said Preston. “It’s no way somebody could do their blood like that. There’s no way.”

When deputies arrived they found 23-year-old Jenea Mungia flipping her shit armed with a garden tool, naked from the waist up on top of her 4-year-old boy.…

Richard Albert NielsonWilmington, NC — A dispute over some missing lawn equipment has left an unborn child and two men dead, and a woman in critical condition.

According to police, 38-year-old Russell Mitchell was cashing in some lottery tickets at a Murphy USA gas station Friday afternoon, when 62-year-old Richard Nielson approached him. Nielson apparently called out Mitchell’s name just moments before shooting him in the head at point-blank range.

Nielson then approached Mitchell’s wife(?), 29-year-old Jessica Modolo, as she sat waiting for Mitchell to return to the car. Police say Nielson shot her once in the stomach, killing her unborn child, and once in the head. It is believed Modolo, who remains in critical condition, was about four months along in her pregnancy. Inside the car with Modolo, her 6-year-old son, and Mitchell’s daughters, ages 9 and 7.

Nielson then walked behind the vehicle and put a bullet in his own head.

This whole bunch of bullshit apparently stems from a dispute over some lawn equipment that Nielson had somehow procured from Mitchell.…

Justin Lee ColbyPASCO COUNTY, FL – Justin Colby is behind bars facing attempted murder charges after the 33-year-old allegedly tried aborting his girlfriend’s baby with a 2006 Dodge Charger.

On Monday, Colby got into an argument with his girlfriend, 32-year-old Crystal Noordhuizen, who is seven months pregnant. Not wanting to exasperate the situation, Noordhuizen left their home and began walking down the street.

That’s when police say Colby called her on her cell phone and asked, “Are you ready for your abortion date?” before veering his vehicle off the road and striking Noordhuizen from behind. Colby crashed into a pole, got out of the car and walked to his home where he fled on a white motorcycle.

Noordhuizen was taken to Regional Medical Center Bayonet Point with minor injuries, while Colby was later picked up by police and charged with attempted murder.

This isn’t the first time Colby has been accused of hitting someone with a car. In 2012, Colby was charged with aggravated battery causing great bodily harm after he ran over his brother.…

Krystle El KhatibSCHILLER PARK, IL — Krystle El Khatib, 29, has been charged with attempted murder for allegedly trying to murder her children with poisoned apple juice because she was angry with their father.

Prosecutors say Khatib forced her 9-year-old son and 4-year-old daughter to drink two glasses each of apple juice she had poisoned with crushed up benzodiazepine pills, an anti-anxiety drug. When her son refused to drink the juice, Khatib allegedly threatened to hit him.

Official say that after her children had drank the juice, Khatib tried to kill herself by ingesting benzodiazepine and the painkiller Norco. Thankfully she didn’t use enough of the drug to kill the kids because the 9-year-old woke up vomiting the following day. When he was unable to wake his mother, he texted his father for help.

The boy’s father took him and his sister to the hospital, leaving Khatib in the house (lol), where they were treated for poisoning before being released into his custody. Police would later find Khatib at her home and transported her to the hospital.…

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