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In the high stakes HollywoodHollywood reviews blockbuster poker game, Roland Emmerich is going all in with “2012.” A disaster movie to end all disaster movies, “2012” is an enormous moviegoing event guaranteed to make eyes bleed and ears burst with its sheer scale and thundering execution. To bend the dictionary a little, it’s positively ginormous. “2012” is also disturbingly repetitive, obnoxiously noisy, and almost pornographic in length. Instead of providing a comforting bowl of melted apocalyptic cheese, Emmerich wants to beat the living hell out of his audience instead, staging doom after doom, death after death, until it reaches a nauseating spin of sensorial overload. It’s cinematic waterboarding and there was more than one occasion during the film when I was convinced it was never going to end. [Read more...]

Every night when you sleep, two forces emerge from their parallel world to join in battle over your very soul. They do so by manipulating your subconscious. The Storytellers try to help you with peaceful sleep infused with good dreams of happiness, confidence and strength. Tilting the scale on the other side are the sinister Incubis who use nightmares of death, fear and humiliation. In InkINK reviews, the focus of their attention is on the souls of John (Chris Kelly) and his daughter EmmaEmma reviews (Quinn Hunchar) after Emma is snatched from her bed by a creature named Ink. If he delivers Emma to the Incubis, Ink will finally join their ranks and “become numb.” What follows is a fantasy-action tale detailing two separate journeys. One is Ink’s as he holds Emma hostage while meeting various other characters in order to complete his task. The other journey is Emma’s father’s who has lost himself long ago after succumbing to grief, guilt and pride. He has been offered a chance at redemption while unbeknownst to him, a fight for his soul – and that of his daughter’s – is being waged by forces unseen. [Read more...]

This is not a review of the surreal film from Chester Turner titled Black Devil Doll From Hell – that’s coming later. No, this is a review of the Lewis Brother’s Black Devil Doll. An extremely offensive, hilariously sleazy chunk of blaxploitation about a girl named Heather (Heather Murphy) and her ventriloquist puppet. A doll that happens to be possessed by Mubia Abul-Jama, a Black Power Revolutionary Party leader who was recently executed for murdering 15 Caucasian women. Heather’ s troubles began when she started screwing around with her Ouija board, unwittingly allowing Mubia to escape Hell and inherit the body of the puppet – transforming it into a black devil doll sporting a beret and afro. Heather falls in love with Mubia but ultimately is unable to satisfy his insatiable desire for white ass. So she agrees to invite four of her friends over under the guise of hanging out; the ultimate goal being a way for Mubia to seduce the women and have sex with them. But Heather is in for a big surprise when she learns Mubia’s ways of seduction are not quite…normal. In fact, they are downright depraved. Black Devil Doll is a film chock full of rape, crude humor, shit, puppet cumshots, golden showers, tossed salads, necrophilia, homosexual necrophilia, puppet sex as well as cold-blooded murder. In other words, everything you could want in a film, or for some of you, everything you want to avoid. [Read more...]

I walked out of a screening of “Saw” in 2004 absolutely appalled with the movie. Not for the sadomasochistic violence the film would soon popularize, but for the cruddy production value and the laughably abysmal performances — Cary Elwes should be gifted a national holiday for his whimpering, career-smothering work, effectively neutering the repulsion of the ultraviolence. I loathed the film, yet watched with some degree of surprise as the franchise developed a defensive mainstream following; kindly folk who cheerfully hurdled generous filmmaking clichés and further acting decimation to bathe in the warm pools of blood, sucking up the suffering with a bendy straw as if the nightmare were Cherry Coke. [Read more...]

Any of you like movies about aliens? You know, like Close Encounters of the Third KindClose Encounters of the Third Kind reviews or Fire in the SkyFire in the Sky reviews? Well you are in luck. Universal Pictures has released their one sheet for their science fiction thriller The Fourth Kind that will hit theaters on NovemberNovember reviews 6th. The teaser posters didn’t leave much to the imagination – showing a body floating off the bed while  explaining the term “fourth kind” as being the label used for alien encounters that involve abduction. But the one sheet pretty much confirms that is what the film will be about by detailing the four different types of alien encounters that most of us still remember ever since Steven Spielberg had little Barry Guiler open the back door to the home he shared with his mother. [Read more...]