Charleston, SC – Dash cam footage has been made public detailing City Council Member, Deborah Morinelli, after she drove her SUV into a ditch. The footage shows police removing a bunch of mini-bottles of wine (or as Jaded likes to call them – breakfast) from the vehicle. More disturbing than that is the footage of Morinelli as she wallows in a ditch, drunk off her ass. She attempts to stand several times, but cannot and eventually the police and rescue workers have to carry her. She was charged with driving under the influence and open container in a motor vehicle. She pleaded guilty and had to pay fines that total more than $2,500. Morinelli represents District 2 since 2002 but announced she will not be running for re-election. Watch the video after the jump to see why. [Read more...]

MADEIRA BEACH, Florida – This is a story I am only posting because of one line in the article by Brant James that simply stated, “Then he started throwing sea creatures”. For some reason, this line cracked me up and has made my day. 41-year-old Keith Edward Marriott is facing charges of disorderly intoxication and carrying a concealed weapon because of his bizarre behavior at the beach. Pinellas County sheriff’s deputies said Marriott repeatedly pretended to be drowning and then float to the surface, “causing concern for his safety,” and was “loud and disruptive,” according to a sheriff’s report. Then he started throwing sea creatures. Or more specifically, he started throwing jellyfish at some teenagers. Marriott was being held at Pinellas County Jail in lieu of $250 bail. I love obnoxious drunks. [Read more...]

St. Charles, Missouri - Evan Hassan Wormley, aka EV THA TV, had a bad morning yesterday.   So did his two-year-old son, Ev Junior.  So did Random Casino Bystander Guy, who was just trying to scratch a gambling itch at a St. Louis-area casino.  At 4:30 a.m. Tuesday, aspiring hip-hop artist Wormley, 21, showed up at the Ameristar casino in St. Charles.  That’s not weird, right?  People gamble at all hours.  But Ev was (a) drunk, and (b) had his kid with him, and the baby was wearing nothing but a dirty diaper.  That probably should have been Sign #1 that things weren’t going to go well for either Evan.  [Read more...]

Louisville, KY- Reeking of alcohol with slurred speech, the trollish looking Cecil Bryant now faces several charges including first-degree assault, disorderly conduct, menacing and public intoxication. Police responded to a report last SaturdaySaturday reviews morning of a woman who was beaten and bloody. Police found 53-year old Elsie Rollins with a bleeding head wound and she told the officers that Bryant, 75, had attacked her with a bedpost. Bryant, who’s eyes were as unsteady as his feet, was hollering at the neighbors and even pushed a bystander. When the officers told Bryant to sit his crazy ass down, he began screaming at them. Once inside the apartment, police noticed blood-spattered walls and found the bloody bedpost. Silly me. Here all this time I thought troll dolls brought you good luck.

Palmetto, FL – There are some children in this world that have to overcome some pretty horrendous obstacles to make it to adulthood.  Things like abuse, neglect, poverty, soccer moms with a cell phone attached to one ear, a latte in the other, and a foot on the gas pedal trying to make an early morning pilates class – you know, the usual.  Then there are some that have the odds stacked against them even before they are thrust into this world naked, cold and hungry, some that never have a chance, some like the fetus Guadlia Bravo is carrying in her miserable womb.  Bravo seems to be as fertile as some freshly turned compost, but with the mothering instincts of a lump of dog shit. When her toddler was found wandering in a grocery store parking lot, Bravo, 7 months pregnant, was found tanked, sitting on a curb, getting her drink on.

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Great Falls, MT – Being from the Midwest means I’ve had to build a tolerance to the many jokes regarding the stereotypical redneck. Well, not so much a tolerance to the jokes but rather: the stereotypical redneck! Here, the mullet haircut is still the most requested $10 style in the “salons”. Busch and Bud are the beers of choice because, by God, this is Anheuser-Busch country. And what the hell is the favorite past time, you ask? NASCARNascar 09 reviews. (Nothing goes better with Busch products. Think I’m full of shit? HeadHead reviews to their website. “Site contains fishing, hunting, and NASCAR information”) [Read more...]

Alcoa, TN- As I was sitting here in front of my keyboard dressed in my usual work attire ( Tinkerbell pajamas with periwinkle blue slippers) and first began reading about this story, two questions came to mind. How the hell did this woman master the trick of spraying officers with her own urine and why, oh fucking why, can’t I be graced by the Gods of Demented Demon-ship and be allowed to find at least one mugshot of this truculent tigress? At first, I believed finding a pic was hopeless, but thanks to the detective skills of one of my favorite members, Tazzzz, Cindy Lynn Holder’s mug is now gracing our front page. [Read more...]

Wheeling, West Virginia -  I never have liked clowns. I always found them to be creepy. They wait for you to go to sleep at night, then eat you. I don’t have much use for drunks either, especially behind the wheel. You might call Patricia Ingalls the drunken hit and run clown. [Read more...]

Weeki Wachee, FL- A drunk and disorderly Richard Schneider was being abusive in the D & T General Store, so the clerk, Dennis Brooks, told him to get out and locked the door. Schneider walked around to the drive-thru window and began to climb through it. Brooks was ready for him and taught the determined drunk a lesson on why, sometimes, you should just leave well-enough alone. [Read more...]

Memphis, TN- I have never tried any brand of Kentucky Bourbon. Now, after reading about 46-year old Karen Sims and her crazy-assed drunk display on March 25, 2009, I think my lightweight ass will stick with beer. I know this is not one of the usual crimes we front page here on the Dreamin’ Demon, but being it is April 1, I thought the story of a drunk fool would be appropriate.

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…and pooped on it.

Thomas Whitley Teague

Brownsville, TX–Ladies and gentlemen, please allow me to introduce 26-year-old Thomas Whitley Teague. Mr. Teague graduated from Texas Tech University in May 2008, and in NovemberNovember reviews, gained his license to practice law in the state of Texas. Mr. Teague is also a former Cameron County assistant DA. Teague now has a smear on his resume…he will forever be known as that guy that took a dump outside of an IHOP restaurant.

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…so he set his trailer on fire

Theodore, AL–Lawrence Edward Lee, 45, had a bad case of the ‘nobody loves me’ Christmas blues. He didn’t get a single present for Christmas. Not even a re-gifted fruitcake. Can you believe that? Well, he got even with the selfish relatives who overlooked him…he set his own trailer on fire. That’ll show ‘em! Now he not only lacks presents, but also a home. Luckily, the kind-hearted folks down at the Metro Jail welcomed him with open arms.

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This story written and submitted by our member Damaged Goods.  Thanks, DG!

Seriously.. what is that mess on Joe Rice’s forehead?

Minneapolis, MN – Joseph Conrad Rice, 63,  seems a little worse for wear. Well… he has been having an interesting time. In mid-December, Mr. Rice was arrested for trying to stiff the poor cabbie who drove his inebriated ass home from a local strip club. About two days after that, police were called to the Minikahda Country Club to pick up a drunk-again Joseph Rice. This time he apparently made “terrorist threats” to a police officer.  All reports also state that Rice reported his Mercedes stolen, but I honestly don’t know why anyone gives a shit.  [Read more...]

Aaron Saunders and James Brogden

Highway Patrol were chasing a front-end loader SaturdaySaturday reviews morning, a front-end loader that had been stolen from Cherokee County Speedway. The person who stole the vehicle was Aaron Christopher Saunders, 28. Police tried stopping him by shooting out the tires, but Aaron was having none of it. Police say he intentionally tried to run over officers, even running over one of the patrol cars. Aaron drove the front-loader to 973 Pleasant School Road, tearing down trees and signs on the way there. Aaron began destroying a car at that residence when a man house-sitting for his son-in-law, James Ellie Brogden, 67, came out to investigate, Aaron killed him with the front-loader. [Read more...]