DADE CITY, Florida – Police pulled over a vehicle for not for not having a passenger side headlight. The driver was a very drunk Genoveva Amacenda-Velona, 30. Also in the car with her were two children ages 7 and 9. But that wasn’t it. Beside her was a half-empty bottle of Jose Cuervo and sliced limes on the console. Amacenda-Velona spoke no English, but did relay that she had only drank a few beers at a friends house. Her 0.233 blood-alcohol level told a much different story. She was charged with aggravated child neglect, DUI, not having a valid driver’s license and not having a motor vehicle registration and was being at the Land O’Lakes jail without bail. I see some people calling this setup a rolling bar just because she had some sliced limes? Shit, wait ’til they get a glimpse of the Mojito setup Jaded has in her car. Hell, she has fresh mint growing on the dashboard. Wanna know what my “rolling bar” consisted of? A couple bottles of Night TrainNight Train reviews. Don’t hate. [Read more...]

Cincinnati, Ohio – On Halloween night, Oxford police officer pulled over 20-year-old James Miller for finding him driving the wrong way down a one-way street with no headlights. As the officer approached Miller was observed stuffing chewing gum in his mouth. He was also wearing an awesome breathalyzer costume. Miller told the officer he had not been drinking that night, but cops found an open beer in the console of his car and beers in the front seat as well as the trunk. Turns out that Miller was almost two times the legal limit, sporting a blood alcohol level of .15. Miller was cited on charges including operating a vehicle while intoxicated, underage possession of alcohol, having an open container and a fake ID, and a one-way street violation. ClickClick reviews on to see him in costume. [Read more...]

Clark County, Wisconsin — Mary Strey, 49, started drinking earlier in the day and after visiting different bars around Neilsville, she had consumed seven or eight brandy and Cokes. But this didn’t stop her from getting behind the wheel of her car and attempt to drive home. But she didn’t make it there as police caught up with her after someone called 911 to report her. They found her parked on the side of the road and officers reported that her speech was slurred,, she stumbled, was swaying back and forth and could not perform the tests. Her blood alcohol level was 0.17. The odd thing about this story is the 911 caller who turned her in. It happened to be Mary Strey herself. After the jump, you can listen to the 911 call in which Strey called to report herself. Which is kinda classic as it includes this exchange:

Dispatch: You behind them?
Mary Strey: No, I am them.
Dispatch: You am them?
Mary Strey: Yes, I am them.
Dispatch: Okay, so you want to call and report you’re driving drunk?
Mary Strey: Yes.

Continue on to listen to the full 911 call.

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Carroll, IA – I’d like to give props to Matthew McNelly and Joey Miller for their resourcefulness and ability to think out of the box. I’d like to, but, I can’t. I will, however, give them props for making me laugh so hard I almost tinkled. It’s not every day we get to post a story here at the Dreamin’ Demon that exhibits such a high level of laughable fucktardary. Last Friday evening, police got a call about an attempted break-in. The caller described the suspects as two males with painted faces, both were wearing black hoodies, and it looked like both were armed. The caller reported that the two had just driven off in a large white car. Responding officers spotted a vehicle matching the description of the alleged suspect’s car just a couple of blocks away from the apartment and pulled it over. Just wait till you get a load of their awesome disguises!  [Read more...]

Charleston, SC – Dash cam footage has been made public detailing City Council Member, Deborah Morinelli, after she drove her SUV into a ditch. The footage shows police removing a bunch of mini-bottles of wine (or as Jaded likes to call them – breakfast) from the vehicle. More disturbing than that is the footage of Morinelli as she wallows in a ditch, drunk off her ass. She attempts to stand several times, but cannot and eventually the police and rescue workers have to carry her. She was charged with driving under the influence and open container in a motor vehicle. She pleaded guilty and had to pay fines that total more than $2,500. Morinelli represents District 2 since 2002 but announced she will not be running for re-election. Watch the video after the jump to see why. [Read more...]

BETHLEHEM, Pa – Twin brothers Timothy and Thomas Willgruber, both aged 56, had a history of alcohol abuse and drunk driving. But not any longer. Last month the brothers were attending Celtic Fest, and Thomas was trying to help his drunk brother parallel park a minivan. For some drunken reason, Timothy lost control of the vehicle and ended up crushing Thomas’ leg in between the van and a parked SUV. Thomas died 8-hours later. Timothy failed the sobriety test at the scene and it was later revealed he had a blood-alcohol level of .20. Even though Bethlehem police Capt. David Kravatz says Timothy Willgruber was “devastated” after the accident and family members say the brothers were best friends, homicide charges were expected – but now that wont be necessary. Timothy hung himself on Tuesday. [Read more...]

Pompano Beach, FL - Susan Grace was out and about Wednesday at about 5:00 p.m., when she happened upon a rather alarming sight – walking on the side of the road, along the white line, were two little ones just barely out of the toddler stage – one of them dragging a pillow, both barefoot. “I started panicking and I rolled down the window and I’m yelling, ‘Stop, stop,’ and of course, they can’t hear. And traffic’s just whizzing by them,” said Susan, a preschool teacher. She pulled her car over to the side of the road and waited with the kids until law enforcement showed up on scene. Seems the kiddos were on their way to pick up their older sister from school. But, where was mommy? While officers were questioning the kids, ages 3 and 4, one of them let it slip that “Mommy is drunk.” Hehhh…my kiddos had quite the vocabulary at that age, but the word ‘drunk’ wasn’t part of it. [Read more...]

Long Beach, California I am not a believer in the “after life” but in case I am totally wrong, I sure hope Neely Dinkins burns in hell soon. He is charged with hitting two toddlers while driving drunk. He drug them both for a block before one of the children, a 2-year-old boy, became dislodged. His 1-year-old sister was not so lucky. She remained lodged in the wheel well of his SUV – still in the wagon she had been sitting in – where she remained even after Dinkins parked his vehicle at his home a mile away. Where he ran inside like a cowardly bitch. [Read more...]

Wantagh, NY – Sister Lauren Hanley, the spiritual development director at St. Frances de Chantal Church, is just brimming with spirit – of the holy kind and of the distilled kind. The naughty nun is facing charges after she allegedly tied one on at church Tuesday evening, polishing off a half-pint of gin, before careening around town in a church owned Toyota. Witnesses report they saw Hanley side-swiping vehicles, zig-zaggin’ around on people’s lawns, and putting the fear of Jaysus into a couple of young neighborhood hellions. The little rascals were playing outside of a home when the flying nun flew past them in her speedy little race car. “She skidded out on the grass, then she came back down at like 55, 60 miles per hour down the street,” said 11-year-old Alex Stein after a near-death experience with the booze-hound. “It was very frightening at first, then you realize you can’t trust anybody.” The fun and games were over when Hanley slammed the car into a tree. Sister Hanley, who blew a 0.18, admitted to officers that she had started tipping the bottle at about 3:00 that afternoon. Officers discovered a plastic water bottle in the back seat of the Toyota that contained a small amount of alcohol. Hanley, 68, was arrested, charged with misdemeanor drunken driving, and released on her own recognizance that same evening. Alex Stein describes the chaos, on video, after the jump. [Read more...]

TULSA, OK - On Nov 12th, 2007 a woman had a motorcycle accident outside of Backyard Bar. Four people who witnessed the crash ran out to assist her. It is at that point that a drunken Kimberly Graham plowed into the group in her Dodge Ram Pickup, killing ever single one of them. She then did the noble thing and fled the scene leaving them strewn down Memorial Drive to die. She was later arrested after turning herself in and charged with five counts of first-degree manslaughter. On March 12th of this year, jurors convicted Kimberly Graham on all five counts plus one count of leaving the scene of an accident. YesterdayYesterday reviews, Judge Thornbrugh sentenced her to 107 years in prison. 20 years for each victim and 7 years for leaving the scene. [Read more...]

Green Township, Cincinnati – Here is an idiot for you. At around 9 p.m., 21-year-old Lauren rear-ended David Tewes in a Walgreen’s parking lot. After both got out of their respective vehicles, it was quite apparent that Lauren was shit-faced – her blood alcohol content later determined to be .205. Not wanting to get into any more trouble than she was already in, Lauren did the smart thing and left the scene of the accident. But that was only one of her problems added to her drunken stupidity. The other was the fact that her dumbass got into the vehicle she hit thinking it was hers. Oh, she left her 19-month-old daughter behind in her vehicle as well. She was arrested and charged with child endangering, driving while intoxicated, leaving the scene of an accident, failure to maintain reasonable control of a motor vehicle and a seat belt violation. Videovideo report after the jump.
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Sumner, Nebraska – After researching this story, and playing the scene out in my head a couple of times, I puked in my mouth a little. Ok, it was more than a little. Let me introduce you to Tyler Brockman. On July 4, Brockman was on his way home to Kearney after participating in a rodeo in Sumner. Well, you know how those rodeos are, right? Do you? Cause I sure as hell don’t. I’m assuming that Brockman had either had a drink or seven, is smart as a dog turd, or a combination of both, because he failed to return his horse to his trailer. Not only did he neglect to make sure the animal was secured in the trailer, he neglected to untie the horse from the back of the trailer before he headed home that evening. [Read more...]

Wythe County, VA – After a long and boring day in the town of Taylorsville, North Carolina, Jerry Wayne and his lovely wife Lisa Church Damron must have looked at each other, smiled that sheepish grin, and immediately knew what they needed to do. Things like that happen when you’ve been with someone for a while, you just know what the other is thinking by the look in their eyes. It’s like a light bulb burns out in someone’s brain and the only other one to notice is the significant other who hears the “pop” and smells the faint burning. I was touched to read this story of the closeness of Jerry and Lisa – who decided to take to the highway because their 7 children were gone and they had nothing better to do. There were only a couple of things they needed for their journey, some liquor and that gal they just shot. [Read more...]

Onamia, Minnesota is about 32 miles SW of Brainerd, a name made famous for enough of us sick individuals who happened to enjoy the movie FargoFargo reviews. Onamia has a population of about 850 people and hopefully will be a couple less by the time this story plays out in the courtroom.  The participants are the quintessential features on the Dreamin’ Demon, the kind who fit the prerequisites:  selfish baby abusing motherfuckers with the propensity for criminal stupidity. I’m of course speaking of Lance Ballinger (23) and Kelly Friend, once boyfriend/girlfriend. Right now Lance is in a whole heap of trouble and with crossed fingers, Kelly will soon learn what it’s like when a mother makes shitty decisions regarding her children. [Read more...]