MEXICO – Mario Alberto Lizalde Reyes has been accused of fatally shooting his best friend before chopping off the man’s penis and feeding it to his dog.
The 26-year-old told police that he and and his lifelong friend, 24-year-old Mario Hernandez Banda, 24, were drinking when they got into an argument over Banda allegedly trying to touch Reyes “in a sexual way”.
‘After pushing him off, he went to urinate in an alley so I followed him, pulled out my gun and shot him in the head,” said Reyes. “I then took his knife off him and chopped off his penis as punishment and put it in a bag.”
No word on what Reyes planned to do with his brand new dick in a bag, but he said when his dog would not stop sniffing at the bag, he got an idea.
“I decided to give it to him and he ate it,” said Reyes.
Reyes left the body of his friend in an alley, finished walking his dog, and then went home.…
OCEAN TOWNSHIP, NJ – Prosecutors say the alleged drunk driver who hit a man and drove over a mile with him sticking through his windshield will likely face upgraded charges after the victim died.
According to reports, 33-year-old Marcos Ortega was driving drunk on Nov. 10 when he hit 61-year-old Kenneth Moeller who was walking along the side of the road. Instead of stopping, Ortega continued driving with poor Moeller sticking through his windshield.
Police began receiving calls regarding an erratic driver with what appeared to be a body on the hood of the car. They were able to pull Ortega over approximately 1.5 miles from where he initially hit Moeller.
Police conducted field sobriety tests on Ortega and determined he was impaired. He was taken into custody and charged with leaving the scene of a motor vehicle crash and causing serious bodily injury to another while driving under the influence.
Moeller was flown to Jersey Shore University Medical Center where he was placed on life support and had to have one of his legs amputated.…
MILWAUKEE, WI — The University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee fraternity investigated over sexual assault claims last year, has been suspended after accusations of using a potential date rape drug at a party full of underage kids.
Last Friday, Tau Kappa Epsilon held a party at their off-campus frat house. For $8 you could also receive an access card that would allow you to get free drinks. The catch, according to one girl at the party who ended up at the hospital, “you have to be hot” to get one.
A few hours into the party, campus police responded to reports of people at the party being so drunk that they were unable to walk and were vomiting. Police would find 42 kids under the age of 21 in the basement with either red or black X’s marked on their hands. The fraternity would not explain to police what the X’s meant.
Three women and a male at the party would end up taking a trip to the hospital where, according to a search warrant, one of the girls told police that after consuming some of a drink given to her by a frat member “she had a weird feeling and sensation prior to blacking out which she had never felt before.”
Another girl said she blacked out 30 minutes after someone poured her a drink then moved “the cup under the bar out of sight; after a few moments the male pulled the cup back on top of the bar and gave her the mixed drink.”
The male said he got sick shortly after taking sips from a drink given to one of the girls.…
NEW PORT RICHEY, FL – Renata Congleton got herself into a bit of trouble last Friday after the 27-year-old arrived at an elementary school to pick up a child while having a blood alcohol level five times the legal limit.
Staff at Trinity Elementary School say Congleton was extremely intoxicated when she arrived at the school and tried to pick up the child. Police were called to the school but before they got there, Congleton drove off — hitting two cars in the process.
Deputies would find Congleton at home, sitting by her front door. She reportedly swore at them as they tried to question her before kicking and scratching a deputy while being handcuffed.
Congleton was charged with neglect of a child, battery on a law enforcement officer, and resisting an officer with violence. Her bond was set at $15,000.
I don’t know what’s in the water in Florida, but it seems to make women get their drink on before picking their kids up from school. Congleton is the fourth Florida woman we’ve reported on who’s done this, and wins the award for being the drunkest.…
WAGONER, OK – Police arrested Lorie Hill at Wagoner High School on Monday after she was found drunk in her classroom and not wearing any pants.
Hill is a newly hired teacher for Wagoner Public Schools and was found by two other teachers slumped over a desk in an empty classroom on the first day back at school for teachers.
“They didn’t know who she was, she was apparently new and was supposed to start yesterday,” Police Chief Bob Haley said.
When police arrived, they found the 49-year-old in principal’s office where someone had given her some shorts to wear. Hill admitted to police that she’d been drinking, and an empty cup smelling of vodka was found inside her car.
Since police could not prove she was intoxicated when she drove her vehicle, Hill was only charged with public intoxication. The Wagoner School District declined to comment on any possible disciplinary actions against Lorie, saying they do not comment on personnel matters.
Parents are, understandably, outraged. “I don’t know, as an adult, I just don’t know how you can be a professional teacher and teaching young people, and then show up drunk,” said one parent.…
Dorset, England – In an incident that increased the currently small number of speed boat-related murder convictions, Paul Gerlach and Louis Borzoni were sentenced to life in prison for the murder of aspiring rapper Rico Dardis.
The pair were convicted for an incident that took place May 27th of last last year in Christchurch Bay in Dorset, England. According to official reports, Gerlach, Borzoni, and Dardis were enjoying an alcohol-enhanced day-trip, when the conversation turned heated. One witness claims he heard one the convicted men saying “You are being ungrateful, you’ve smoked all my cigarettes and drunk all my beer.”
This lead to to the two men pushing Dardis off the boat and then running him over, fatally slicing the 30-year-old with the boat’s propellers. The severed parts became entangled in the propeller, which caused the boat to stop working. Rather than calling for help, the two men attempted to recover the body parts and then allowed the boat to drift to shore. Another beach-goer captured a photograph of the two men shortly after the murder.…
CROWLEY, TX – A 12-year-old girl is dead after a woman had her ride on top of her car because she didn’t want the girl’s wet bathing suit messing up the car’s upholstery.
Kisha Young, 38, spent June 17 getting drunk at the Creekside Community Pool with the victim’s mother and their six children between the ages of 8 and 14.
When the group left the pool, Young had the kids ride on top of her Chevy Malibu because their bathing suits were wet.
While taking the 1-minute drive home, four of the children fell off the car as Young drove around a corner. Neither Young or the victim’s mother were aware their load had lightened until some teenagers flagged down their car at the end of the street.
Three of the children were treated at the hospital and later released, but 12-year-old Octavia Watkins was admitted with severe head injuries. She never regained consciousness and was removed from life support last Wednesday.
“She was totally unconscious the whole time, so that was my main concern,” said Albert Garcia who found Watkins in the street.…
DOUGLASVILLE, GA – Police have charged 23-year-old Dewey Green with murder after they say he intentionally ran over a pregnant woman.
Police say 53-year-old Janice Pitts was in her Lincoln Navigator with her daughter and grandson when Green repeatedly hit her from behind with his truck while she was sitting at a traffic light.
When Pitts got out to check the damage, Green rammed his truck into her and pinned her body between their two vehicles. Pitts’ daughter, Iesha Davis, says she got out and tried to get Green to back his truck up.
“I’m banging on the window, ‘Please, you’re crushing my mom, you’re crushing my mom. Please, you’re crushing my mom. He wouldn’t look at me, He kept his face straight and kept his foot down on the gas,’” said Davis.
When Green finally backed up, Pitts fell to the road and Green ran over her crushed body as he drove over the median, went across a grassy knoll and ended up sideways across a road where witnesses were able to stop him.…
BILLINGS, MT – Police have arrested 52-year-old Shery Downs on a felony charge of assault with a weapon after she allegedly knifed her hubby in the face because he pissed on the bathroom floor.
When police arrived at the couple’s home, Shery’s 68-year-old husbnad was on the front steps holding a bloody towel to his face. Following a blood trail into the home, police found Shery who seemed to be intoxicated.
She told them that her husband had hurt himself after she called police to report he gave a false name to the cable company in an attempt to get free cable installed at the home. She denied hurting her husband or seeing his injury.
Her husband had a different story, claiming Shery got angry with him because he pissed on the bathroom floor. She told him she wanted to “cut him up” before using a cleaver-type knife to slash his throat and face. Afterwards, she told him she hoped he died.
Her husband was taken to the hospital where stitches were needed to treat the cut on his face.…
According to police, Ezra was riding in a minivan with four other people at around 4:40 a.m. when the freak accident occurred. The mother of three had been drinking at a party and was sitting on the lap of a front seat passenger. When she began to feel sick and stuck her head out the window to throw up, her head struck a telephone pole.
After the accident, the driver and one of the other passengers fled the scene but were apprehended later. The driver, a man in his 20s, has been charged with operating a motor vehicle while intoxicated, causing serious bodily injury and leaving the scene of an accident.
“You’ve got a 24-year-old child, you’ve raised to be a young adult and has their whole life ahead of them and it’s snuffed out because of a decision that was made and because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time,” said Michelle Lyman, who lives near the crash site.…
RIVERSIDE, CA – A man was killed by his own daughter after he was struck by her car as he tried stopping her from driving drunk.
Police say 37-year-old Soukvilay Barton was drinking and arguing with family members on Friday when she decided to leave.
Her father, 69-year-old Bounmy Rajsombath, tried to stop her from driving since she had been drinking, but she got into a BMW parked in the garage.
As she backed out of the driveway, her father stood behind the car in an attempt to stop her. Unfortunately, Barton didn’t see her father and hit him with the car as she backed out of the driveway.
Witnesses say that once Barton noticed her father had been injured, she immediately stopped the vehicle, got out and started sobbing. Rajsombatch was rushed to Riverside Community Hospital where he was later pronounced dead.
Barton was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence and gross vehicle manslaughter. She’s currently being held on $75,000 bail. A review of California court records showed Barton has had multiple traffic violations, including a DUI conviction from 2006.…
Nathan Stumler has been accused of getting into an accident while driving drunk, then leaving his 7-year-old child crying in the road after he fled the scene.
Officers responding to a report of an intoxicated driver found Stumler’s daughter screaming in the street. They also found Stumler’s still-running vehicle with some fresh damage to the front end.
When officers calmed down the frightened but uninjured girl, she told them that her father had struck something with his vehicle and ran over the curb before parking the car and running away on foot.
She also pointed out the direction her drunk dad had ran, and police were able to locate the 25-year-old a short time later. Police reported that when he was found, Stumler was unsteady on his feet, had slurred speech and smelled like alcohol.
For his attempt at getting out of a DUI charge, Stumler was taken into custody and charged with operating a vehicle under the influence of alcohol or drugs and first-degree wanton endangerment.…
CALHOUN, GA – Police have charged Andrew Haynes, Fields Chapman and Damon “Avery” Johnson, all 18-years-old, with aggravated sexual battery after an alleged attack on a girl inside a cabin during a post-prom party earlier this month.
Gilmer County Sheriff Stacy Nicholson said the charges stem from an incident that happened earlier this month inside the bedroom of a cabin at the Coosawattee River Resort. It’s being reported that an 18-year-old girl was sexually assaulted by the three teens during an “out of control” drinking party attended by as many as 27 people. The victim ended up hospitalized for several hours the next day for “substantial” injuries.
Nicholson said the arrests were made after more than 50 interviews — including someone who witnessed the assault, studying forensic evidence, and enlisting the help of sexual assault experts. He went on to say that they were not able to charge the teens with rape because they’d used a foreign object on the victim.
He declined to elaborate when questioned about this, only stating that what happened to the victim was not “true rape” as outlined by the law.…
Sex machine Lonnie Hutton reportedly walked into The Boro Bar & Grille Friday evening, and headed straight to the ATM. Then, according to witnesses, Hutton dropped his pants and undies, exposing his genitals, and attempted to make sweet, sweet love to the money machine.
No word on whether an actual deposit was made…..
When he was finished, Hutton then moseyed around the bar for a while, his junk just a bouncin’ and a swingin’, making thrusting motions with his hips, witnesses told police.
He was promptly escorted outside.
When police arrived on scene, Hutton was ordered to sit his drunk ass down at a picnic table while they collected information from the reporting party. It was then that Hutton allegedly disrobed and attempted to get his freak on with the table.
Hutton was arrested after being deemed a danger to himself and 90% of the inanimate objects within his field of vision.…
Salt Lake City, UT — A couple of lovebirds were arrested Saturday after being found engaged in oral sex on the front lawn of the Sacred Heart Catholic Church… in front of an icked out wedding party that included a few kiddos. Darling, no?
According to the police report, Officer Rich Stone was flagged down by a member of said wedding party that evening. The lucky bastid got to witness, all up close and personal, the sexy that was the pairing of 60-year-old Sandra Kruser and 56-year-old Wilson Benally.
Stone spotted the pair writhing around on the lawn, and when he approached, got quite an eyeful. Benally, Stone reported, “had his tongue and finger inside of Ms. Krusen’s vagina.” No… giggity…
Stone reportedly demanded the couple separate, but they refused. Poor cop had to “pry” the two apart. Oh my god, the visuals…
Both were charged with gross lewdness and public intoxication. Benally was additionally charged with criminal trespass. Bond was set at $2,313 for Benally, and $2,093 for Kruser.…
GUILTY! OFF WITH HER HEAD!
It all started when Cameo Crispi’s ex called police on March 14 to complain that he had received numerous texts and phone calls from her within the range of one hour, and he really wanted her to knock it the fuck off already. He also told police he didn’t want Crispi at his home. Crispi. Heh.
An officer was dispatched to the man’s home and found smoke pouring out the front door. Inside, an “impaired” Crispi.
When the officer stepped inside the man’s home, he noticed a wood stove left open with a fire burning inside and hot coals on the floor around the stove. And on the kitchen stove, claimed the officer, there was a cookie sheet with about a pound of bacon on it. Now, bear with me, people….. this part of the story is extremely difficult for me.…
Reston, VA — An inebriated 26-year-old woman was arrested Saturday evening after allegedly showing up at the Arlington Magistrate’s Office in her birthday suit, hoping to see her recently incarcerated hubby.
It is unclear as to whether Maura Fussell had been clothed at some point before entering the building, or whether she arrived all nekkid. Either way, she was bare. And drunk.
Officers apparently gave her many opportunities to put some damn clothes on, or at least take a cab home, but Fussell reportedly refused.
That refusal earned her an overnight stay at the old Graybar Hotel. She’s been charged with indecent exposure and drunk in public. I’m assuming they released her after she sobered up a bit.
No word on what landed hubby in the slammer.…
HOUSTON, TX – The mother and aunt of a 1-year-old girl are both facing charges after the little girl was admitted to the hospital suffering from alcohol poisoning.
On February 8, police were called to a home where a man said his young daughter had been dropped off by his mother and was now unresponsive. When emergency personnel arrived, they found the 1-year-old had turned into Jaded on any given day of the week; moaning, smelling of alcohol and covered in vomit.
The girl was taken to the hospital where it was determined she had suffered alcohol poisoning and a BAC of over .26. The girl’s father told police that she was like that when she’d been dropped off after being cared for by her mother, 17-year-old Shadreon Jefferson and Jefferson’s sister, 24-year-old Shamara Batiste.
When deputies interviewed Jefferson, she told them she’d fallen asleep and woke up to find that Batiste had given the girl about six shots of vodka. Instead of taking the girl to the hospital, they simply dropped the baby girl off at her father’s home to let him deal with it.…