GUILTY! OFF WITH HER HEAD!
It all started when Cameo Crispi’s ex called police on March 14 to complain that he had received numerous texts and phone calls from her within the range of one hour, and he really wanted her to knock it the fuck off already. He also told police he didn’t want Crispi at his home. Crispi. Heh.
An officer was dispatched to the man’s home and found smoke pouring out the front door. Inside, an “impaired” Crispi.
When the officer stepped inside the man’s home, he noticed a wood stove left open with a fire burning inside and hot coals on the floor around the stove. And on the kitchen stove, claimed the officer, there was a cookie sheet with about a pound of bacon on it. Now, bear with me, people….. this part of the story is extremely difficult for me.…Continue Reading
Reston, VA – An inebriated 26-year-old woman was arrested Saturday evening after allegedly showing up at the Arlington Magistrate’s Office in her birthday suit, hoping to see her recently incarcerated hubby.
It is unclear as to whether Maura Fussell had been clothed at some point before entering the building, or whether she arrived all nekkid. Either way, she was bare. And drunk.
Officers apparently gave her many opportunities to put some damn clothes on, or at least take a cab home, but Fussell reportedly refused.
That refusal earned her an overnight stay at the old Graybar Hotel. She’s been charged with indecent exposure and drunk in public. I’m assuming they released her after she sobered up a bit.
No word on what landed hubby in the slammer.…Continue Reading
HOUSTON, TX – The mother and aunt of a 1-year-old girl are both facing charges after the little girl was admitted to the hospital suffering from alcohol poisoning.
On February 8, police were called to a home where a man said his young daughter had been dropped off by his mother and was now unresponsive. When emergency personnel arrived, they found the 1-year-old had turned into Jaded on any given day of the week; moaning, smelling of alcohol and covered in vomit.
The girl was taken to the hospital where it was determined she had suffered alcohol poisoning and a BAC of over .26. The girl’s father told police that she was like that when she’d been dropped off after being cared for by her mother, 17-year-old Shadreon Jefferson and Jefferson’s sister, 24-year-old Shamara Batiste.
When deputies interviewed Jefferson, she told them she’d fallen asleep and woke up to find that Batiste had given the girl about six shots of vodka. Instead of taking the girl to the hospital, they simply dropped the baby girl off at her father’s home to let him deal with it.…Continue Reading
Early Monday morning, Camlin went on what he thought would be a nice bike ride, only to be hit from behind by a vehicle matching the description of Inostroza’s black Ford Mustang. After impact, police say, Camlin hit the front windshield, rolled over the roof of the car, and landed onto the back windshield where he was wedged between the window and the spoiler.
Inostroza is said to have then driven for another two miles before dumping the injured man in a wooded area behind a dumpster. After that, he did what every normal person does after an accident — he went home and took a nap.
A few hours later, a landscaping crew found the man clinging to life. 911 was called and Camlin was taken to the hospital. His body temperature was so low when they got to him that if he hadn’t been found when he was, it’s likely he wouldn’t have survived.…Continue Reading
Casco Township, MI – A man in Michigan was arrested after he allegedly punched his mother in the face repeatedly while decorating the family Christmas tree.
Pasco Township Police received a 911 call from a home on Friday with no one on the line. However, shouting could be heard as well as a female yelling “you are hurting me.” When police arrived at the home, they found 33-year-old Lewis Atwood with his girlfriend, mother and brother.
According to the report, the family had been decorating the family Christmas tree when a drunken Atwood flew into a jealous rage over finding his brother had a personalized ornament to hang on the tree, but he did not. In response, he began repeatedly punching his 58-year-old mom in the face.
The woman suffered a bloody nose, swollen eye and a swollen lip. As for Atwood, he had minor injuries to his knuckles and hands consistent with drunkenly punching your mother in the face multiple times. Atwood was arrested for domestic violence and booked into the county jail, where he’s being held on a $5000 bond.…Continue Reading
Hermilo Salmeron was driving his son, 30 year-old Joel Salmeron-Ciprian, his son’s wife, as well as his grandkids home from a wedding because his son was too drunk to drive.
Prosecutor’s have relayed that Salmeron-Ciprian munchy-wunched on his father’s face after the patriarch pulled the car over because his inebriated failure of a son was screaming expletives at him, punched him in the face, and eventually placed his hands around the driver’s throat.
A fight ensued after both men exited the truck leading up to the bite. All of this in front of the passengers in the car, which included young children.
King County deputy sheriffs answered the call and found Salmeron-Ciprian pinned to the ground by his father, who was bleeding profusely from his face. Medics responded to the scene and took the older man to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle.
Upon his arrest, Salmeron-Ciprian decided to challenge deputies, which led to his dumb ass being subdued with a stun-gun.…Continue Reading
FORT WORTH, TX — A juvenile court judge has gotten some people upset after she sentenced 16-year-old Ethan Couch to 10 years’ probation for the drunk driving crash that killed four people.
Back in June, Breanna Mitchell’s SUV had a flat tire so she pulled over to the side of the road. Hollie Boyles, 52, and her daughter, Shelby Boyles, 21, lived nearby and had came out to help Mitchell. Brian Jennings, 41, was driving by and also stopped to see if he could lend a hand.
Unfortunately for all of them, 16-year-old Ethan Couch was also on the road, driving drunk. He and some of his seven passengers had stolen some beer from a Walmart hours earlier and were speeding when Couch lost control of his truck, left the road and struck Breanna’s SUV.
Breanna, Hollie, Shelby and Brian were not in the road when the collision occurred, but they were all killed on impact and thrown 50 to 60 yards away. One of Couch’s passengers suffered serious injuries while another remains paralyzed and only able to communicate by blinking his eyes.…Continue Reading
When police made contact with the alleged pisser, John Posey, he appeared to be intoxicated. His eyes were bloodshot, he was unsteady on his feet, and he apparently reeked of booze. Oh yeah, and his fly was unzipped. Dead giveaway….
Posey initially told police he was just doing a little shopping and denied urinating on stuff. The officer called bullshit after being directed to a large, stinky wet spot on the carpet.
Posey eventually ‘fessed. When questioned as to why he didn’t just use the friggin’ restroom, Posey reportedly stated that “stores usually won’t let you, so I didn’t ask.” And well, he had to “pee bad.” Logic.
A Radio Shack employee told police that Posey caused about $800 in damages – his urine landed on some boxes containing televisions and various audio equipment. In addition to that, some carpet tiles are going to need replacing….…Continue Reading
Hallandale Beach, FL - Kayla Mendoza, 20, tweeted “2 drunk 2 care” before she allegedly driving down the wrong side of the road and causing a deadly car accident that killed two women.
Three hours after Mendoza made that tweet, she drove her vehicle the wrong way down the Sawgrass Expressway at 1:45 a.m. Sunday morning. She ended up plowing into another vehicle head-on, killing best friends, Kaitlyn Ferrante and Marisa Catronio, both 21-years-old.
Catronio was pronounced dead at the scene while Ferrante was taken to the hospital and died two days later. Mendoza was taken to the hospital where she was last listed in fair condition. Police are waiting for a toxicology report before deciding what charges will be filed against her.
“It is unknown at this time if Mendoza was driving under the influence,” said Sgt. Mark Wysocky of the Florida Highway Patrol.
Not helping Mendoza right now are the series of tweets she’s made to her “pothead princess” Twitter account in the days and hour before the fatal collision.…Continue Reading
ORCHARD PARK, NY - The idiot who fell 30-feet from the upper deck at Ralph Wilson Stadium while attempting to slide down a rail, has been fired from his job.
For those of you who missed the story, the Bills were playing the Jets at Ralph Wilson Stadium on Sunday when cameras captured Rob Hopkins attempting to slide down an outer rail in the 300 level. His dumbass ended up falling backwards and landing on an unsuspecting spectator in the stands below.
“He kind of bounced off him and landed about two rows down on the ground,” said one witness sitting close to where Hopkins landed with a loud derp.
Hopkins and the person he landed on didn’t suffer any life-threatening injuries, but both were taken to the hospital to be checked out and later released. The Buffalo Bills reacted immediately, banning Hopkins from future events at Ralph Wilson Stadium – for life.
“The irresponsible behavior that occurred at yesterday’s game by the fan who fell from the upper deck is a violation of our Fan Code of Conduct and cannot, and will not, be tolerated.…Continue Reading
KENOSHA, WI – A drunk man dressed as a clown has been accused of dangling a boy over a railroad overpass early Sunday morning.
According to police, 33-year-old Antonio Brown came home drunk after attending a Halloween party Saturday night. Still dressed as a clown, he told his girlfriend’s two kids that he wanted to go walk the train tracks, something they had all done before.
As he and the two boys – ages 13 and 8 – walked along the tracks, Brown continued drinking alcohol. The boys said Brown was “acting strange” and ended up making them drink the alcohol to the point that one of the boys threw up.
When the younger of the two boys got scared and wanted to go home, Brown got angry. The two boys took off running with Brown in hot pursuit. Brown caught up to the older boy, grabbed him, picked him up and hung him upside down from an overpass. “If you try that again, I’m going to drop you,” he allegedly informed the boy.…Continue Reading
San Antonio, TX - A 67-year-old Texas man was sentenced to 35 years in prison after being convicted last month of raping his son’s prom date.
The incident happened In May 2012, after Ismael Cruz’s son and his son’s 19-year-old girlfriend returned home from the prom. Because they had been drinking heavily, the girlfriend decided to spend the night.
The girl told police that she woke up in the middle of the night with her dress partially removed and someone on top of her. When she realized it wasn’t her boyfriend, but rather her boyfriend’s father, she pushed Cruz away and screamed for help.
Cruz’s son ran out and began beating him, and continued to try and get his hands on him even while police were on the scene. Cruz, who has two prior drunk driving convictions, told investigators he’d drank more than 60 beers that night.
Cruz’s attorney had asked state District Judge Ray Olivarri for the minimum penalty of 25-years in prison. Judge Olivarri took the attorney’s suggestion under consideration, then sentenced Cruz to 35 years behind bars.…Continue Reading
ASHLAND, WV - Sheriff’s deputies say they arrested a pair of McDowell County parents after they found the couples’ young children living in filth, being held in a room where they were handling and eating human excrement. Yum.
According to WVVA, Michael Paul Perry, 28, and Crystal Sidney Perry, 19, were arrested and charged with child abuse creating substantial risk of injury. Not to mention bad breath.
Martin West, the McDowell County Sheriff, told WVVA TV that detectives responded to a call from Child Protective Services employees who were trying to remove the kids from the home in the Ashland area on Thursday afternoon. Not surprisingly, the parents weren’t eager to cooperate and the employees told police they felt threatened.
Officers say that when they entered the residence, they found two toddlers, ages 1 and 2, being kept in a room where they were eating human waste. A criminal complaint filed in McDowell County Magistrate Court said the children were ‘filthy’, and worse.
“The room in which the children were being held had human excrement on the floor and that the children had been eating the excrement,” the complaint said.…Continue Reading
Lauderhill, FL - Two police officers turned themselves in last week amid allegations that they pressured two female DUI suspects into giving them sexual favors in return for not arresting them. One officer allegedly ordered one of the women to punch him in the nuts because it turned him on.
Police officer Thomas Merenda, 34, and his partner, Franklin Hartley, 33, pulled over two intoxicated women around 4 am at a Taco Bell. The women allege that Hartley told them he could arrest them, but then told them to drive behind a strip mall where Merenda was waiting.
Hartley followed them and once there, began to “kiss and touch” the passenger’s breasts “while reminding her she could be arrested.” Then he reportedly ordered her to have sex with him, which she did.
At the same time, Merenda gave the other female a very thorough “pat down” and then asked her to punch him in the “nuts” and “reassured her that this was ok and this turned him on.” His ever-helpful partner encouraged the woman to do so by saying that he “really enjoys this” and the woman kicked Merenda in the balls.…Continue Reading
Moab, UT – Think you are having a bad day? Well a cop in Utah has been accused of trying to kill his father after he caught him having sex with his wife.
According to reports, 33-year-old Timothy John “TJ” Brewer, a deputy with the sheriff’s department in Grand County, invited his father, Moab fire chief Wesley “Corky” Brewer, to his home for dinner and drinks.
Sometime in the early morning hours, TJ’s wife, Logan Brewer, said she was going to take one of their children to bed. When that kid came back downstairs, TJ realized he was alone and went upstairs to find the door to his 4-year-old son’s bedroom was locked. When he made entry, he found his wife on top of his father, with “his dad’s dick” inside her.
As you can imagine, poor TJ lost it. He “beat the fuck” out of his old man before leaving the room and coming back with a handgun. Logan told investigators that she heard her husband “rack a round” into the gun’s chamber before he started smacking her around a bit.…Continue Reading
STONINGTON, CT - A 10-year-old boy in the backseat of his father’s car called 911 to report his dad was driving drunk moments before his father crashed.
Rhode Island State Police received a 911 call from the boy who said he and his 12-year-old sister were passengers in a Mercedes driven by their father, Owen Gilman. The boy said he was in fear for his life because his old man was drunk and driving erratically.
The boy told them he was so scared that he was contemplating jumping from the moving vehicle because that would be better than crashing at the speeds his father was currently driving. The boy didn’t have time to test his theory, because moments later his father rear-ended a Jeep Grand Cherokee.
Gilman hit the Jeep so hard that he sent it 50 feet off the shoulder of the interstate and down an embankment where it overturned. The driver of the Jeep was taken to the hospital to be treated for blunt force trauma and lacerations and was last listed in fair condition. …Continue Reading
SAN DIEGO, CA – A man is in the hospital after driving his car off a cliff in the Sunset Cliffs neighborhood of San Diego.
According to San Diego police, the driver of a sedan sped through a locked gate and off a 40-foot tall cliff, slamming into the beach below, in the early morning of July 29th.
The vehicle, shown suspended from tow cables in this photo, has extensive damage to both the front and the rear. The driver was able to walk away from the vehicle and ignored onlookers shouting at him from the top of the bluffs. “He was pretty unresponsive,” said a witness. “He didn’t look up at us.”
When rescuers arrived the man resisted rescue efforts, preventing them from placing him inside a rescue helicopter. Maurice Luque, of the San Diego Fire Rescue Department said, “He was combative, he wanted to fight with our crews, he wanted to be left alone.”
The fire rescue captain stated, “We put him in a bag called a Bowman bag which pretty much just wraps him up like a burrito.” The human burrito was then transported to the hospital via helicopter with “serious but not life-threatening” injuries.…Continue Reading
WHEATON, IL – Police have arrested a man who they say stabbed his wife to death during a domestic dispute that began when the man’s wife refused to have sex with him.
On Friday, 33-year-old Kurtis Worley asked his wife, Martha, to have sex with him one last time after she told him she wanted a divorce. When she refused, a drunken Kurtis began stabbing her in the head with a knife.
Hearing his mother’s screams, Kurtis’ 15-year-old stepson tried to get into the bedroom only to be met by a naked Kurtis “looking like … a psychopath” who stabbed the teen in the neck.
When police arrived at the home, they found the couple’s three children, ages 15, 12 and 9, outside. Inside they found Martha lying face down in a pool of blood, with “significant wounds to her head.” Kurtis was on the floor suffering from self-inflicted cuts to his throat and wrists.
His attempt to do the world a favor was obviously done with no gusto whatsoever, as he was released from the hospital on Sunday and placed in jail on charges of first-degree murder and aggravated domestic battery.…Continue Reading
LINN COUNTY, OR – A woman wanted for a DUI related death in 1997 was found in Canada after she bragged about getting away with murder inside a bar.
Police said in 1997, a then 38-year-old Jean Keating was driving drunk when she sideswiped a car driven by 65-year-old Jewel Anderson, causing her cross the center median and collide with another vehicle. Anderson was pronounced dead at the scene. Keating, as is usually the case with drunks, was not hurt.
Keating was charged with manslaughter, DUII, reckless driving and recklessly endangering another person. But while awaiting trial in March 1998, Keating’s attorney informed authorities he was concerned his client had “flown the coop.”. The Linn County Circuit Court issued a bench warrant for Keating’s arrest and she hasn’t been heard from since. Well, until now.
In early 2013 a police officer in Manitoba, Canada had followed up on a tip about a woman telling people in a bar how she had gotten away with the deadly crash in the United States.…Continue Reading
PAYSON, UT – Police have few clues regarding the death of Nathan Tyler Haun, the 17-year-old found dead in the middle of the road after a fight at a party.
Haun’s body was found by a motorist around 5:30 a.m. Saturday, lying in the middle of Arrowhead Trail between Salem and Payson. An autopsy would later reveal Haun died as a result of being hit by a car.
“There was a significant amount of trauma that was very extensive from head to toe,” Sgt. Spencer Cannon with the Utah County Sheriff’s Department said. “There was no chance of survival.”
Haun was last seen at a house party Friday night, but the group of teens are keeping their mouths shut and their parents have already hired attorneys. Investigators believe these teens know what lead to Hauns death, but are trying to stay out of trouble, possibly because of underage drinking.
“They’re not only not cooperating with us, they’re being very uncooperative, so what we’re really not getting the detail we need from the people we think know what happened,” said Cannon.…Continue Reading