When police made contact with the alleged pisser, John Posey, he appeared to be intoxicated. His eyes were bloodshot, he was unsteady on his feet, and he apparently reeked of booze. Oh yeah, and his fly was unzipped. Dead giveaway….
Posey initially told police he was just doing a little shopping and denied urinating on stuff. The officer called bullshit after being directed to a large, stinky wet spot on the carpet.
Posey eventually ‘fessed. When questioned as to why he didn’t just use the friggin’ restroom, Posey reportedly stated that “stores usually won’t let you, so I didn’t ask.” And well, he had to “pee bad.” Logic.
A Radio Shack employee told police that Posey caused about $800 in damages – his urine landed on some boxes containing televisions and various audio equipment. In addition to that, some carpet tiles are going to need replacing….…Continue Reading
Hallandale Beach, FL - Kayla Mendoza, 20, tweeted “2 drunk 2 care” before she allegedly driving down the wrong side of the road and causing a deadly car accident that killed two women.
Three hours after Mendoza made that tweet, she drove her vehicle the wrong way down the Sawgrass Expressway at 1:45 a.m. Sunday morning. She ended up plowing into another vehicle head-on, killing best friends, Kaitlyn Ferrante and Marisa Catronio, both 21-years-old.
Catronio was pronounced dead at the scene while Ferrante was taken to the hospital and died two days later. Mendoza was taken to the hospital where she was last listed in fair condition. Police are waiting for a toxicology report before deciding what charges will be filed against her.
“It is unknown at this time if Mendoza was driving under the influence,” said Sgt. Mark Wysocky of the Florida Highway Patrol.
Not helping Mendoza right now are the series of tweets she’s made to her “pothead princess” Twitter account in the days and hour before the fatal collision.…Continue Reading
ORCHARD PARK, NY - The idiot who fell 30-feet from the upper deck at Ralph Wilson Stadium while attempting to slide down a rail, has been fired from his job.
For those of you who missed the story, the Bills were playing the Jets at Ralph Wilson Stadium on Sunday when cameras captured Rob Hopkins attempting to slide down an outer rail in the 300 level. His dumbass ended up falling backwards and landing on an unsuspecting spectator in the stands below.
“He kind of bounced off him and landed about two rows down on the ground,” said one witness sitting close to where Hopkins landed with a loud derp.
Hopkins and the person he landed on didn’t suffer any life-threatening injuries, but both were taken to the hospital to be checked out and later released. The Buffalo Bills reacted immediately, banning Hopkins from future events at Ralph Wilson Stadium – for life.
“The irresponsible behavior that occurred at yesterday’s game by the fan who fell from the upper deck is a violation of our Fan Code of Conduct and cannot, and will not, be tolerated.…Continue Reading
KENOSHA, WI – A drunk man dressed as a clown has been accused of dangling a boy over a railroad overpass early Sunday morning.
According to police, 33-year-old Antonio Brown came home drunk after attending a Halloween party Saturday night. Still dressed as a clown, he told his girlfriend’s two kids that he wanted to go walk the train tracks, something they had all done before.
As he and the two boys – ages 13 and 8 – walked along the tracks, Brown continued drinking alcohol. The boys said Brown was “acting strange” and ended up making them drink the alcohol to the point that one of the boys threw up.
When the younger of the two boys got scared and wanted to go home, Brown got angry. The two boys took off running with Brown in hot pursuit. Brown caught up to the older boy, grabbed him, picked him up and hung him upside down from an overpass. “If you try that again, I’m going to drop you,” he allegedly informed the boy.…Continue Reading
San Antonio, TX - A 67-year-old Texas man was sentenced to 35 years in prison after being convicted last month of raping his son’s prom date.
The incident happened In May 2012, after Ismael Cruz’s son and his son’s 19-year-old girlfriend returned home from the prom. Because they had been drinking heavily, the girlfriend decided to spend the night.
The girl told police that she woke up in the middle of the night with her dress partially removed and someone on top of her. When she realized it wasn’t her boyfriend, but rather her boyfriend’s father, she pushed Cruz away and screamed for help.
Cruz’s son ran out and began beating him, and continued to try and get his hands on him even while police were on the scene. Cruz, who has two prior drunk driving convictions, told investigators he’d drank more than 60 beers that night.
Cruz’s attorney had asked state District Judge Ray Olivarri for the minimum penalty of 25-years in prison. Judge Olivarri took the attorney’s suggestion under consideration, then sentenced Cruz to 35 years behind bars.…Continue Reading
ASHLAND, WV - Sheriff’s deputies say they arrested a pair of McDowell County parents after they found the couples’ young children living in filth, being held in a room where they were handling and eating human excrement. Yum.
According to WVVA, Michael Paul Perry, 28, and Crystal Sidney Perry, 19, were arrested and charged with child abuse creating substantial risk of injury. Not to mention bad breath.
Martin West, the McDowell County Sheriff, told WVVA TV that detectives responded to a call from Child Protective Services employees who were trying to remove the kids from the home in the Ashland area on Thursday afternoon. Not surprisingly, the parents weren’t eager to cooperate and the employees told police they felt threatened.
Officers say that when they entered the residence, they found two toddlers, ages 1 and 2, being kept in a room where they were eating human waste. A criminal complaint filed in McDowell County Magistrate Court said the children were ‘filthy’, and worse.
“The room in which the children were being held had human excrement on the floor and that the children had been eating the excrement,” the complaint said.…Continue Reading
Lauderhill, FL - Two police officers turned themselves in last week amid allegations that they pressured two female DUI suspects into giving them sexual favors in return for not arresting them. One officer allegedly ordered one of the women to punch him in the nuts because it turned him on.
Police officer Thomas Merenda, 34, and his partner, Franklin Hartley, 33, pulled over two intoxicated women around 4 am at a Taco Bell. The women allege that Hartley told them he could arrest them, but then told them to drive behind a strip mall where Merenda was waiting.
Hartley followed them and once there, began to “kiss and touch” the passenger’s breasts “while reminding her she could be arrested.” Then he reportedly ordered her to have sex with him, which she did.
At the same time, Merenda gave the other female a very thorough “pat down” and then asked her to punch him in the “nuts” and “reassured her that this was ok and this turned him on.” His ever-helpful partner encouraged the woman to do so by saying that he “really enjoys this” and the woman kicked Merenda in the balls.…Continue Reading
Moab, UT – Think you are having a bad day? Well a cop in Utah has been accused of trying to kill his father after he caught him having sex with his wife.
According to reports, 33-year-old Timothy John “TJ” Brewer, a deputy with the sheriff’s department in Grand County, invited his father, Moab fire chief Wesley “Corky” Brewer, to his home for dinner and drinks.
Sometime in the early morning hours, TJ’s wife, Logan Brewer, said she was going to take one of their children to bed. When that kid came back downstairs, TJ realized he was alone and went upstairs to find the door to his 4-year-old son’s bedroom was locked. When he made entry, he found his wife on top of his father, with “his dad’s dick” inside her.
As you can imagine, poor TJ lost it. He “beat the fuck” out of his old man before leaving the room and coming back with a handgun. Logan told investigators that she heard her husband ”rack a round” into the gun’s chamber before he started smacking her around a bit.…Continue Reading
STONINGTON, CT - A 10-year-old boy in the backseat of his father’s car called 911 to report his dad was driving drunk moments before his father crashed.
Rhode Island State Police received a 911 call from the boy who said he and his 12-year-old sister were passengers in a Mercedes driven by their father, Owen Gilman. The boy said he was in fear for his life because his old man was drunk and driving erratically.
The boy told them he was so scared that he was contemplating jumping from the moving vehicle because that would be better than crashing at the speeds his father was currently driving. The boy didn’t have time to test his theory, because moments later his father rear-ended a Jeep Grand Cherokee.
Gilman hit the Jeep so hard that he sent it 50 feet off the shoulder of the interstate and down an embankment where it overturned. The driver of the Jeep was taken to the hospital to be treated for blunt force trauma and lacerations and was last listed in fair condition. …Continue Reading
SAN DIEGO, CA – A man is in the hospital after driving his car off a cliff in the Sunset Cliffs neighborhood of San Diego.
According to San Diego police, the driver of a sedan sped through a locked gate and off a 40-foot tall cliff, slamming into the beach below, in the early morning of July 29th.
The vehicle, shown suspended from tow cables in this photo, has extensive damage to both the front and the rear. The driver was able to walk away from the vehicle and ignored onlookers shouting at him from the top of the bluffs. “He was pretty unresponsive,” said a witness. “He didn’t look up at us.”
When rescuers arrived the man resisted rescue efforts, preventing them from placing him inside a rescue helicopter. Maurice Luque, of the San Diego Fire Rescue Department said, “He was combative, he wanted to fight with our crews, he wanted to be left alone.”
The fire rescue captain stated, “We put him in a bag called a Bowman bag which pretty much just wraps him up like a burrito.” The human burrito was then transported to the hospital via helicopter with “serious but not life-threatening” injuries.…Continue Reading
WHEATON, IL – Police have arrested a man who they say stabbed his wife to death during a domestic dispute that began when the man’s wife refused to have sex with him.
On Friday, 33-year-old Kurtis Worley asked his wife, Martha, to have sex with him one last time after she told him she wanted a divorce. When she refused, a drunken Kurtis began stabbing her in the head with a knife.
Hearing his mother’s screams, Kurtis’ 15-year-old stepson tried to get into the bedroom only to be met by a naked Kurtis “looking like … a psychopath” who stabbed the teen in the neck.
When police arrived at the home, they found the couple’s three children, ages 15, 12 and 9, outside. Inside they found Martha lying face down in a pool of blood, with “significant wounds to her head.” Kurtis was on the floor suffering from self-inflicted cuts to his throat and wrists.
His attempt to do the world a favor was obviously done with no gusto whatsoever, as he was released from the hospital on Sunday and placed in jail on charges of first-degree murder and aggravated domestic battery.…Continue Reading
LINN COUNTY, OR – A woman wanted for a DUI related death in 1997 was found in Canada after she bragged about getting away with murder inside a bar.
Police said in 1997, a then 38-year-old Jean Keating was driving drunk when she sideswiped a car driven by 65-year-old Jewel Anderson, causing her cross the center median and collide with another vehicle. Anderson was pronounced dead at the scene. Keating, as is usually the case with drunks, was not hurt.
Keating was charged with manslaughter, DUII, reckless driving and recklessly endangering another person. But while awaiting trial in March 1998, Keating’s attorney informed authorities he was concerned his client had “flown the coop.”. The Linn County Circuit Court issued a bench warrant for Keating’s arrest and she hasn’t been heard from since. Well, until now.
In early 2013 a police officer in Manitoba, Canada had followed up on a tip about a woman telling people in a bar how she had gotten away with the deadly crash in the United States.…Continue Reading
PAYSON, UT – Police have few clues regarding the death of Nathan Tyler Haun, the 17-year-old found dead in the middle of the road after a fight at a party.
Haun’s body was found by a motorist around 5:30 a.m. Saturday, lying in the middle of Arrowhead Trail between Salem and Payson. An autopsy would later reveal Haun died as a result of being hit by a car.
“There was a significant amount of trauma that was very extensive from head to toe,” Sgt. Spencer Cannon with the Utah County Sheriff’s Department said. “There was no chance of survival.”
Haun was last seen at a house party Friday night, but the group of teens are keeping their mouths shut and their parents have already hired attorneys. Investigators believe these teens know what lead to Hauns death, but are trying to stay out of trouble, possibly because of underage drinking.
“They’re not only not cooperating with us, they’re being very uncooperative, so what we’re really not getting the detail we need from the people we think know what happened,” said Cannon.…Continue Reading
JACINTO CITY, TX - A 15-year-old boy has been charged with murder after police say he stabbed his mother to death in her own bed because he was tired of being abused.
Police say 31-year-old Laura Moreno’s teenage son went into some kind of psychotic state and stabbed her to death as she slept in her bed. Afterwards he called his aunt to tell her what he’d done. She arrived at the home shortly after 3 a.m., found Laura dead in her bed, then called 911.
Witnesses told police they saw the teen running from the home screaming shortly before paramedics arrived. He allegedly told family members that he stabbed his mother to death because he was tired of her verbal and physical abuse, particularly when she’d been drinking.
“He just snapped,” said Jacinto City Police Chief Joe Ayala. “And the next thing he observed was that he had stabbed her and was removing the knife.”
Ayala described Laura’s wounds as defensive wounds, saying she was stabbed at least 10 times. …Continue Reading
CLINTON, SC – This happened last week, but it doesn’t seem like a lot of people are covering it. Six people in South Carolina have been charged after 19-year-old Emily Anna Asbill was strangled to death by her 29-year-old boyfriend.
A couple of weekends ago, Michael Beaty Jr. showed up to his stepfather’s home with Asbill unconscious in his car. Beaty’s step-dad called 911, but Asbill would be pronounced dead at the hospital. The Laurens County Coroner’s Office says Asbill died of asphyxiation due to strangulation.
Beaty had an on-again, off-again relationship with Asbill, who was the daughter of a South Carolina Law Enforcement (SLED) Agent.
Police would learn that earlier that night, Asbill accompanied Beaty and 30-year-old William Alexander to a party where the adults there supplied Asbill with alcohol and drugs. After leaving the party, Beaty, Alexander and Asbill reportedly drove around for an hour before ending up at Beaty’s stepfather’s home with an unconscious Asbill.
There have been no details on what happened between Beaty and Asbill within that hour, but police charged Beaty with Asbill’s murder and charged Alexander with accessory after the fact for trying to cover up the crime, Clinton Public Safety Chief Robin Morse during a press conference.…Continue Reading
Brooklyn, NY – A drunk man returning home from a bar died after he reportedly pissed on the third rail of G train.
Matthew Zeno and a friend were walking along the tracks for the southbound G train around at around 3:00 a.m. when the 30-year-old “inadvertently made contact with the third rail and was electrocuted,” according to the NYPD press office.
Headlines are a bit more eye-catching when they conclude the “inadvertent contact” was made with a stream of piss, but Zeno could have just of easily made some other kind of contact with the rail while looking for a place to take a leak. In fact, I didn’t think it was possible to be electrocuted that way because you pis is not a steady stream after a certain amount of distance. I’m not testing the theory, but I’m guessing he was electrocuted while pissing, not by the piss itself.
Regardless of how Zeno made contact with the third rail, 625 volts of electricity coursed through his body when he did.…Continue Reading
WESTFORD, MA - Police have charged 18-year-old Kelsey Gallagher with trespassing after Gallagher dived head first into a someone’s empty pool a little after midnight Monday, and ended up with a spinal injury, a fractured skull and a broken wrist.
According to Westford Police Department spokesman Capt. Victor Neal, police were called to a North Main Street home around 12:30 a.m. where they found Gallagher in the pool unconscious and breathing. Her friend, 20-year-old Alexis Mcauliffe, was there as well and told police the pair had been out looking for pools to swim in.
“It appears from the investigation that Gallagher dove head first into the empty pool,” Neal wrote in a press release. “Also alcohol may have been a factor in this incident but no alcohol was found at the scene.”
After Gallagher took her header, Mcauliffe banged on the door of the pool’s owner, begging for help. He immediately called 911 and then went to check on Gallagher. “Seeing someone at the bottom of the pool like that. That time of night.…Continue Reading
“Mr. Briones was observed to be having sexual intercourse with the passenger and sped off… at a high rate of speed,” the police officer wrote in a criminal complaint. “Their activities presented a danger to others in the roadway as exhibited by the accident.”
Police said that after Briones sped off, he crashed his 2006 Ford Explorer into another car after running a red light. The resulting collision ejected his female passenger from the vehicle. She was found on the ground, naked, and suffering from deep cuts to her face and hands.
Witnesses stated Briones was obviously drunk when he exited his vehicle and eventually tried to drive away from the scene, leaving the naked woman behind. When one of the witnesses took the keys from the ignition, Briones ran off and hid behind a nearby cactus wearing one shoe and with his shorts on inside-out.…Continue Reading
Houston, TX – According to police, 23-year-old Andres Munos-Munos was driving drunk when he struck and killed 47-year-old Sgt. Dwayne Polk.
The Houston Police Department say Munos-Munos drove through a red light and hit the Polk’s personal truck at approximately 3 a.m. Sunday. There were no skid marks on the road, signifying Munos-Munos didn’t even try to stop or slow down before the crash.
Munos-Munos suffered only minor injuries, while Sgt. Dwayne Polk would be pronounced dead on the scene. Polk had been with the sheriff’s office for 16 years, and was in uniform when he was killed. By Sunday afternoon, the intersection where Polk was killed had been turned into a memorial as friends and family left mementos and notes.
“Tough morning,” Sheriff Adrian Garcia tweeted. “The HCSO suffered a terrible loss & we are all grieving. Keep HCSO members & their families in your prayers.”
Munos-Munos, who is in this country illegally, has been charged with intoxicated manslaughter and is currently being held without bond. This is not Munos-Munos’ first rodeo.…Continue Reading
Ocklawaha, FL - Police arrested Billie Jean Williams, 27, and Mary Joyce Daffron, 28, after they say the two women left their young children alone at a beach bar on Mother’s Day so they could go on a booze cruise.
On Mother’s Day, law enforcement were called to Gator Joe’s Bar and Grill on Lake Weir after two children, ages 8 and 6, approached employees to say they could not find their mothers and felt that they had been abandoned.
The children told responding police officers that they were playing on the beach when they noticed their mothers were missing. Police started looking for the women but only found their chairs and belongings undisturbed on the beach.
That’s when a man named “John” approached deputies and told them he knew one of the women and had seen her and the other woman get on a boat an hour earlier. The boat the women were on eventually came back to the beach and the two women, who were highly intoxicated, fell into the water as they tried to get off.…Continue Reading