Some time in the not so distant future, video games will allow a gamer to control a real, live person instead of a computer generated avatar. Two of the most popular games of this type are Society, a Sims type game in which beautiful, desperate people are paid to let others control them from the comfort of their weight-stressed computer chairs. The second game, Slayers, is broadcast weekly and features death row inmates who have signed up to be controlled by game players in death match skirmishes against other death row inmates. The controller gets the fame and celebrity status while the prisoner, if he wins 30 rounds, is awarded a full pardon. Kable (real name Tilman), the current game leader and crowd favorite, has been kicking ass in concert with his 17-year-old controller, Simon. They are on the eve of winning the game but Slayer’s creator, Ken Castle, has different plans for Kable that do not include winning, and much more sinister plans for the rest of the world.…
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Nick and his friends are taking a break from their studies enjoying a day at the race track when Nick foresees a catastrophic chain of events that leads to the deaths of a slew of people in attendance, including him and his friends. He gets a tad hysterical and leaves the stands with his friends and some strangers in tow. The group quickly realize how lucky they are to have left when they did when Nick’s premonition of death and destruction becomes a reality. But that’s the thing with Death. You really shouldn’t fuck with it. Now Death is coming back ’round the bend to collect on the lives that slipped through his icy, cold fingers and begins orchestrating freak accidents to pick off the survivors who left that day in the order they should have died. After dong a bit of Googling, Nick and his girlfriend think they have figured out what is happening and come up with a plan that should break the chain, and help the ones still alive cheat Death for a second time.…
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A year after the town of Haddonfield was terrorized by the bloody rampage of escaped mental patient Michael Myers, survivors of that night are trying to put their lives back together.
Laurie Strode, Michael’s sister and the person who “killed” Michael and effectively put a stop to big brother’s killing spree, is now living with fellow survivor Annie and her dad Sheriff Lee Brackett.
Dr. Loomis, the man many feel is responsible for the events that happened the year before, angers even more after writing a sleazy book detailing his years treating Michael along with the events of that Halloween that left so many innocent people brutally slaughtered.
As for Michael, well, no one really knows as his body never made it to the morgue it was being transported to. But his whereabouts are about to be known as Halloween is quickly approaching, and Haddonfield’s prodigal son has some unfinished business to take care of.
In a recent interview, Rob Zombie was asked why he was doing a sequel to his 2007 re-imaging of the 1978 classic (a sequel he once stated he would have no part of) to which he responded, “because I can do whatever the fuck I want“.…
Continue ReadingReview: Inglorious Basterds – Once Upon A Time In Nazi Occupied France
August 27, 2009 at 12:02 am by Morbid
Deep behind enemy lines, a group of men called the Basterds operate in Occupied France striking fear into the hearts of the uniformed officers of the Third Reich. Tales of Nazi’s being scalped, branded, or having their brains bashed out with a baseball bat by a group of men comprised largely of Jewish-American soldiers who love killing Nazis as much as their leader, Tennessean native, Lt. Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt reprising his Early Grayce accent from Kalifornia). But what the Basterds have planned next, if all goes according to plan, will be written in the history books and possibly end the war. They have received word that a new German film, A Nations Pride, is being premiered in a Paris cinema and all the Nazi elite will be in attendance, including the head honcho himself, Adolf Hitler. To have all of these key figures in one location is too good to be true and presents the Basterds with an opportunity they have no intentions of passing up. With the help of the British government, and unknowingly the theater owner herself, the Basterds plan to attend this Nazi shin-ding and – God willing – blow them all the fuck up.…
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Here’s one for some of you daring fans of the darker stuff. A detective (Panos Thanassoulis) working to solve the murder of a woman named Laura finds out that the she was not dead at all, that the dead body that had been found in her apartment was actually someone else. Once the detective tracks Laura down, he falls in love with her, only to have her leave him and disappear once again. The heartbroken detective’s life spirals out of control as he becomes obsessed with finding Laura a second time. He is fired from his job, succumbs to alcoholism and is pretty close to losing his sanity when he is finally able to track Laura to her last known location – a remote villa inhabited by a woman (Michele Valley) and her daughter (Meredyth Herold). Fortunately for the detective, they know exactly what happened to his long, lost love. Unfortunately for the now captive detective, they are both extremely deranged and batshit insane.…
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Andrea Barto (George Hilton) has had a run of bad luck lately. One of his female tenants in an apartment building he owns was brutally stabbed to death in the elevator. This event has left some units vacant and hard to fill so to counter-attack the ill effects a murder can have on a dwelling, Andrea decides to do some vanguard advertising. He finds a model willing to live in the building rent free. The plan being that when people find out a gorgeous model resides in the building, people will scramble to get in one of the remaining units. Unfortunately for Andrea, the model he picked is murdered shortly after moving into her new apartment, drowned in her bathtub. Undeterred by now having two murders tainting his building along with a possible serial killer, he offers a room to model Jennifer (the gorgeous Edwige Fenech) and her ditzy best friend Marilyn. However, on the first night in their new pad, Jennifer is accosted by a masked, gloved intruder who tries to strangle her but is scared off before completing the deed.…
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Brad and Abby, a wealthy couple living in Manhattan, can only watch in despair as their happy family begins to disintegrating around them soon after the arrival of their second child, Emily. What was to be a happy occasion for the family has turned into a living nightmare as Abby sinks into a delusional depression brought on by becoming the owner of a brand new, colicky baby. Brad tries to hold down the fort and put on a good face at home and at work, thinking things will correct themselves on their own over time. The only person that seems to be weathering the storm with no ill effects is their 9-year-old son Joshua, a piano playing prodigy and mature well beyond his years. As one setback after another hits the family in quick succession, the stress begins wearing Brad down both physically and mentally, and he begins to suspect that everything happening is not bad luck but rather the direct result of an insidious plan orchestrated by Joshua himself.…
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In 1990, an alien ship the size of a small town parked directly over Johannesburg, Africa. The inhabitants, a worker class of insectoid aliens from a planet unknown, are stranded on Earth with no way back. The world leaders figure out a way to facilitate our new visitors by housing them in a government camp named District 9. After 20 years of militarization and overcrowding, District 9 is rendered a slum full of 1. 8 million “Prawns” – the derogatory slang used to describe them because of their crustacean features – who without leadership, have slowly devolved into an aggressive pack of scavengers. After pressure from the human inhabitants of Johannesburg who fear for their well-being, the privately owned Multi-National United are called in to relocate the 1.8 million aliens from their current slum to a tent city located outside of Johannesburg. That’s where District 9 picks up, as we follow Wikus van der Merwe, a company lackey and super-nerd, whose new promotion has him overseeing the operation of “legally” evicting the aliens from their current home.…
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Spending his directorial career in search of the proper script with the proper oddity to fit his established sense of humor, Bobcat Goldthwait has finally captured the secret formula with World’s Greatest Dad. A pitch-perfect black comedy, Dad drips with the sort of acidic smile that Goldthwait has built a career upon, bravely marching forward as not only one of the most uproarious films of the year, but perhaps the most accurate depiction of teen bile ever to grace the screen. It’s a double miracle: a stupendous comedy and a great argument for mass sterilization.…
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Four people answer a classified ad in the local paper looking for individuals who would like to get paid for taking part in a psychological research study for the day. After arriving at the specified location, each of them are then transported to another part of town and subsequently locked in a room with nothing more than a couple tables and some chairs – all of which are bolted to the floor. They’re told that they will be there for the day and would earn $250. What they are not told is that they are now unwilling participants in a more modern, more violent version of a covert CIA mind-control program called Project MK-ULTRA. Thought to have ended in the ’60s, this unlucky group is about to find out the program is still alive and kicking – though the guidelines have changed quite a bit – and there is a good chance they may never leave this room alive.…
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Off on a honeymoon in Hawaii, screenwriter Cliff (Steve Zahn) and babyfevered Cydney (Milla Jovovich) are looking for adventure, seeking out a special trail to a secret beach for excitement. Hitting the mountainside, the couple runs into outdoorsy superman Nick (Timothy Olyphant) and his girlfriend Gina (Kiele Sanchez). Striking up a tentative friendship, Nick wins over the gang with his wild stories of near-death experiences and military history. Learning of the presence of a killer on the island, Cliff’s paranoia kicks into overdrive, leading him to suspect Nick and Gina of wrongdoing; but another couple (Marley Shelton and Chris Hemsworth) nearby fits the profile, leaving Cliff and Cydney eager to leave the beach before they become the next two victims.…
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In the abysmal, black, soulless heart of cinematic tinkering lies a beast so unscrupulously dumb that it makes the higher brain functions of a California peach seem like sonnets from the world’s finest poet. Well, maybe that’s taking it a bit too far. Syngenor isn’t that terrible of a film. Its stupidity is actually kind of endearing in some ways and brutally unforgiving in others. If you’re in the mood for a complete reality zone out session lasting roughly a couple of hours, then this is your bacon wrapped enchilada. There is something about a film that has no qualms dancing in the sewer of bad taste, really kicking up the brown stuff and never looking back to see who gets sprayed that gets to me every time. It’s got lunatics, corporate yuppy greed, drug abuse, and synthetic monster soldiers whose weakness includes….well….everything. Even water burns them. That’s right, water. That’s something I never thought I’d see since hanging out with the Neon Maniacs. Bravo Syngenor! You’re my new best, worse friend.…
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The Collector is a serial killer with a rather interesting hobby. Taking notes from Manhunter‘s Tooth Fairy and a bit of Pulp Fiction’s Gimp, he imprisons families in their homes, aided with a series of meticulous booby traps. Once the family has been secured he begins to torture them to death, keeping only one of them for reasons only known to him. But unfortunately for The Collector, the family he is currently visiting has received another uninvited, late night guest. He is a burglar equipped with a conscious. He has broken into the home in hopes of a big score but instead finds himself trapped inside and embroiled in a life-or-death game of cat and mouse with a masked murderer, as he tries to escape the home and save the family in the process.…
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Four college students are on a road trip documenting the cultural history of rural areas. After three days of travelling backroads, they have grown bored with fields, covered bridges and large balls of twine. They want something juicy and adventurous for their project and end up finding it in the backwoods, Ozark Mountain town of Shiloh. They have been informed of the town’s local legend, a place deep in the woods called the Albino Farm that is rumored to contain a regular cornucopia of mutants and sideshow freaks. It’s all just tall tales of course, stories dreamed up by locals to scare the children. But with no real material for their project, these four geniuses decide they should look into the legitimacy of the Albino Farm by finding the location of this remote, mutant farm in the woods and, you know, investigate it. At night. If the synopsis to this piece of shit sounds remotely interesting, by all means, read on. If not, no worries. the film is as bad as it sounds.…
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A family is on the mends after suffering the mental anguish of a stillborn baby. After coming through the event a bit battle scarred, Kate and John Coleman decide that it is time for them to devote the love they were to give the daughter that died in the womb, to another little girl who they feel deserves it. After shopping around the local orphanage, they settle on a strange little girl named Esther. Polite, articulate, and extremely mature for her age – Esther is different from her peers and the couple feel she would fit in perfect with them and their two kids. But quicker than you can say The Good Son, Esther’s true colors begin to show as she begins acting out a devious plan, a plan that begins with the dismantling of her new family.…
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A group of 14-year-old hoodlums ditch school and gather at the graffiti marked foundations of a dilapidated building within some nearby woods. Their plan is to simply hang out, grill some burgers and drink a couple beers. While tooling around the wooded trails in a stolen moped that had been brought along, they accidentally hit Peter, a drifter searching the woods for his lost dog. At first the teens are wary of Peter, him being an adult and all, but quickly warm up to him as he takes on an almost Peter Pan role – becoming both a peer and a mentor. But things take a sinister turn when Peter’s personality continually shifts back-and-forth between kindred spirit and a man with some severe mental issues. Before long, Peter will not let any of the kids leave the woods as he attempts to teach the boys some life lessons, and ratchets up his “tough love” style of teaching to humiliating and criminal levels.…
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Craving a Japanese horror, sci-fi love story? Who isn’t? Well Yûdai Yamaguchi and Jun’ichi Yamamoto’s Meatball Machine should stifle those cravings, even if its just for a little bit. It’s quite splatastic, involving alien parasites who use human bodies as their own personal battle stations, turning their hosts into bio-mechanical messes called Necroborgs. If you are one of the unlucky individuals who has one of these aliens enter your body, you find yourself completely at the mercy of your invader as you are forced to track down other Necroborg’s and engage in battles to the bloody death. The weapons used vary, but in every case these weapons are built out of you – the alien using advanced technology to transform your flesh into a variety of weapons. …
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Joey Rosso (Don Michael Paul) and his father Big Joe (Lawrence Dane) own an independent trucking operation that is occasionally contracted by sleazy bar owner Tiny Doyle (Ned Beatty). This business relationship hits a snag when Tiny’s drunken sons are accused of causing the traffic accident that takes the lives of Joey’s mother and two younger sisters. Having no real proof that the accident was anything more than just that, the judge is forced to let them all go with a small fine. This begins a bit of tit-for-tat as Joey and his father try to get some justice for their lost loved ones. But the level of violence escalates to the point that Joey finds his father in the hospital and his girlfriend raped. This pushes him over the edge, and we witness Joey – during a musical montage no less – using spare parts from a junkyard to build the 8-ton monstrosity he will use to right some wrongs.…
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Deadbeat At Dawn is essentially West Side Story shooting heroin between it’s toes; a film so chock full of raging testosterone that it should come with a warning sticker cautioning people that repeated viewing may cause male pattern balding in men and women alike. It’s a dirty, hateful, nihilistic romp where every character is misogynist, sadist, psychotic, a burnout, or some bitter flavor in between. And everything about this film is a mean spirited punch to the balls; the cinematic equivalent of a 3,000 megaton middle finger to the world. Needless to say I loved every filthy, gut wrenching minute of it!…
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L.A. is suffering from a rash of violent crimes being committed by once normal, law-abiding citizens. The latest involving a mild-mannered stock broker, Jack DeVries (Chris Mulkey), who unexplainably embarked on a murderous spree involving shoot-outs, grand theft auto and bank robberies. His rampage was brought to a halt during a confronation with LAPD detective, Tom Beck (Michael Nouri), sending DeVries to the hospital. Beck is unwillingly teamed with FBI agent Lloyd Gallagher (Kyle MacLachlan) to try and determine the motive behind the one man crime wave, but find DeVries dead in his hospital room. Stranger still, his roommate has walked out of the hospital, picking up where DeVries had left off – starting his own homicidal spree. To compound things, Agent Gallagher’s behavior lead Beck to believe the FBI agent knows a lot more about their situation than he is admitting to.…
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