Acid Attacker Says He ‘Didn’t Know Sulphuric Acid Would Maim Victim’
March 13, 2012 at 7:24 am by kniption
Brussels, Belgium - Richard Remes, 57, is on trial in a Belgium court for injuries he inflicted on a woman who had recently ended their relationship.
Remes’ victim had been quoted as saying, “I just hope that I get to tell the court what I experienced, and how it hurt.” With Remes’ trial for attempted murder now underway, she finally has her chance and was in court to testify against him.
Patricia Lefranc, 48, told court members that she was, ‘determined to look him in the eye and show the jury what he has done to me’.
According to court documents, on December 1, 2009, Remes was waiting for Lefranc as she exited an elevator in the Brussels suburb of Molenbeek-Saint-Jean. Lefranc told the court that Remes – with whom she had terminated an affair – sprayed sulphuric acid all over her head and upper body. Remes was married with children at the time.
After the attack, Lefranc said she was convinced that she would die, but neighbors heard her screams and managed to get her to a nearby hospital.…
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TUSTIN, CA – Police have arrested a 23-year-old sex offender after they say he sodomized a 13-year-old boy inside the bathroom of a California library.
The victim was studying at the Tustin Library after school when Robert Claudio approached the teen and struck up a conversation. Somehow Claudio was able to convinced the victim into accompanying him to the library’s bathroom where, once inside, police say Claudio sodomized the boy.
Immediately after the assault, the teen fled to a nearby police station to report the incident. At around the same time, Claudio had left the library and approached a police services officer. He told him that he’s a registered sex offender and confessed to being involved with something that happened at the library.
The victim was treated at a nearby hospital and positively identified Claudio as the man who had sexually assaulted him.
Claudio, who confessed to the assault, was arrested and charged with sodomy of a minor and committing lewd and lascivious acts with a child under the age of 14.…
Continue ReadingIdiot’s Facebook Picture Lands Him In Jail On Felony Theft Charge
March 12, 2012 at 10:04 am by Morbid
FORT LAUDERDALE, FL – A dumbass in Florida is looking at a felony theft charge and possible jail time after a picture of him holding the nameplate he allegedly stole off a judge’s door found itself on Facebook.
Police say that on February 23, 21-year-old Steven Mulhall pried the $40 nameplate off of Broward Circuit Judge Michael Orlando’s door. A picture of Mulhall holding the nameplate was then posted to his girlfriend’s Facebook profile.
An anonymous tip directed investigators to the picture and Mulhall was arrested for petty theft. But here’s the kicker. Since he was already on probation for past petty theft convictions, this charge is a felony.
Mulhall, a friggin’ thief who has already been charged with 15 car burglaries, 10 counts of petty theft and two counts of grand theft, admits it was stupid of him to post the picture but says he didn’t steal the nameplate. Rather, he found it on the ground outside the courthouse.
“First off, I never even pulled it from the courtroom,” said Mulhall. “My girlfriend was getting off probation, and we were walking to the car, and we saw it.”
Thank God for Floridians being able to rise above their mental handicaps and figure out how to use Facebook, am I right?…
Continue ReadingCop Pleads Guilty To Showing Penis Pics To Women At Traffic Stops
March 12, 2012 at 8:26 am by kniption
Bridgeport, CT - Former Stamford police officer, Paul Mabey, 43, pleaded no contest to disorderly conduct after having been charged for showing a photo of his penis to women during traffic stops.
According to police, on May 21, 2010, Mabey conducted a traffic stop on a woman with her 21 month-old-baby in a car seat in the back. The reason for the stop… talking on her cell phone. Court documents describe Mabey pointing out to her almost immediately that her dress had ridden up her thighs. The woman apologized and rolled her dress down. She said that Mabey replied, “No. I like what I see.”
[Cue music] Boom chicka chicka wow wow…
Mabey would then be told by the woman that he was too old. [Music stops abruptly]
“I’m only 40. That’s not old, it’s experienced,” she quoted Mabey in her formal complaint as saying.
After taking her license and registration to his car, Mabey reportedly came back and told her she should plead not guilty to the cell phone ticket and buy a hands-free device.…
Continue ReadingFlight Attendant Taken Off Plane After Telling Passengers Plane Will “Likely Crash”
March 12, 2012 at 8:18 am by Morbid
Chicago, IL – Last week we had a story about a family getting kicked off a JetBlue flight because of an unruly toddler, now we got an American Airlines flight attendant getting kicked off her plane because of a possible mental breakdown.
Passengers on flight 2332 got a bit of a FINAL DESTINATION moment Friday morning when one of the flight attendants could be heard over the intercom speaking in and out of Spanish, stating that if the plane took off it was going to crash.
“She made two comments, that if we didn’t go back to the gate we would crash,” said passenger Stephen Termunde. “It was almost like she was talking, and didn’t know the PA was on.”
Other flight attendants tried to get the intercom phone out of her hands and even enlisted the help of some first class passengers. One of those passengers said it took about five people to restrain her.
“I grabbed her arms, there were about four of us, I guess, five of us, including the flight attendants who actually sat her back down in my seat,” Kevin Ritch said.…
Continue ReadingMan Accused Of Beating Woman With Hammer, Raping Her Child, Stabbing Dog
March 12, 2012 at 8:13 am by Jaded
Carpentersville, IL — The totally sane lookin’ fella to the left is facing a butt-load of charges after police say he beat a woman unconscious with a hammer, raped her daughter and stabbed her dog.
Daniel Happ was arrested early Wednesday morning after police responded to the woman’s home on a disturbance call. When police arrived on scene, they found a 23-year-old woman unconscious and suffering from numerous blows to the head. Also in the home, the woman’s 8-year-old daughter, who police believe had been raped by Happ. Police say the sh*thead threatened to bludgeon the child with the same hammer he beat the snot out of her mamma with as he defiled her.
In addition to the two human victims, police also found a dog in the home to be suffering from several stab wounds.
The woman was transported to the hospital for treatment, but because of her condition, she was unable to assist police with their investigation. The child was interviewed by professionals at the Kane County Child Advocacy Center and taken someplace safe, and the dog is in the care of a local veterinarian.…
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Here, Now – Thanks to everyone who showed up to the 5th episode of the Pulpit of Doom Drunkcast to do some drinking with me, Jaded and Athena. You can listen to it here. The drunkcasts are like our Wednesday show, just infused with copious amounts of alcohol.
Because of the site issues we had yesterday stemming from my forgetting to re-register the dreamindemon.com domain name, I was drinking long before the show started and, man, does it show.
I think the slurring starts at the halfway mark as we discussed getting kicked off planes because of a toddler’s tantrum, teenagers caught on camera having sex with willing pit bulls, friends who will help you move a body, two women who turned a man into soup, the little-known dangers of Jewish blowjobs, creepy funeral home employees looking for love in all the wrong places and much, much more.
By the end of the show I’m pretty sure we were talking about large dildos. After we went off the air, we had a drunken conversation about God knows what — I refuse to go back and listen.…
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Staten Island, NY — Police say a New York woman suffocated inside a clothing drop box after she climbed inside to steal donated clothing.
Yesterday around noon, 51-year-old Melissa Mazzeo climbed into the large metal box located on the side of …
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Boston, MA – Dr. Colette Vieau and her family, a husband and two young daughters, had boarded a JetBlue flight back to Boston from the luxurious island of Turks and Caicos when they were told to get off. The reason? Their two-year-old, Natalie, was throwing a fit and refused to be seated.
In a courageous show of force, the girl’s parents finally managed to wrangle the beast and restrain her with a seat belt, holding her in place. Dr. Vieau, who states her family were never belligerent, angry or screaming, then said to a flight attendant, “We have them seated. Can we go now?”
It was at that point that the flight attendant informed them the pilot had already decided, for the safety of all customers and crewmembers on board, that the family be removed from the plane.
JetBlue released a statement explaining the pilot came to this decision because the family “did not comply with crewmember instructions for a prolonged time period.”
There were no more flights that night, and the family reports that they spent $2,000 for a hotel and new flights. I reckon they could have obtained a toddler-sized muzzle and straitjacket for less than half that.…
Continue ReadingMom Tells Police That Sex Toy Found During Child Abuse Investigation Is For ’15-Year-Old Girlfriend’
March 10, 2012 at 10:17 am by kniption
Scranton, PA - On Monday, police investigators were in the home of Waleska Guadalupe, 28, following up on allegations of abuse of her children.
During that visit, police asked Guadalupe’s daughter to show them a belt that the child had claimed Guadalupe had used to hit both her and her brother.
According to a criminal complaint filed in the case, the child went to a closet to retrieve the belt and – upon opening it – ‘reared back’ and told the officer she had seen “something disgusting.”
Inside the closet, police describe finding a sex toy. When police asked Guadalupe about the device, she reportedly told them that ‘she used it with her 15-year-old girlfriend.’
Bzzzzzzzzzt. Wrong answer.
According to court documents, Police immediately contacted the Lackawanna County district attorney’s office and were advised to pursue an arrest warrant against Guadalupe for statutory sexual assault.
Guadalupe granted officers written permission to search her home. The sex toy – along with the packaging from several other sex toys that she said she used with her girlfriend – were reportedly taken into evidence.…
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Port Angeles, WA – Paul Brinkmann, an eighth-grade math teacher at Stevens Middle School, stands accused of child rape, and it would seem the community is standing with him. At the conclusion of his March 5th hearing, the roomful of Brinkmann supporters gave him a standing ovation, despite allegedly knowing he admitted the abuse to police.
The victim, who is not a student at the middle school, contacted police and told them about the abuse. It allegedly began as molestation around the age of 11 and continued for five years, eventually becoming rape, which occurred between 10 and 15 times. He also alleges Brinkmann threatened violence if the victim told anyone. According to Probable Cause documents, Brinkmann admitted the molestation but not the rape, stating, “He is the only one I want.”
Whether or not this little tidbit came out during the hearing has become a hot dispute in the comments section of at least one article on the subject, with some members of the community stating that they had no idea and would never support an admitted child rapist for any reason. One commenter goes onto state that “His supporters were all in the solid belief he was targeted by a vengeful child who made the allegations as retribution for the threat of drug rehab.” Not the first time that story’s been used.…
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Vancouver, WA — A man accused of putting a bullet in his roommate’s head, after “accidentally” shooting him in the back of the neck, is apparently trying to convince police that he did so as an act of mercy.
Police say 19-year-old Matthew Starr was out target shooting with roommates Joshua Schenk and Zachary Mattson late last month, when, according to Starr, Mattson slipped and almost fell. Starr said Mattson grabbed him, causing him to stumble and accidentally fire off a round. The bullet struck 25-year-old Schenk in the back of the neck.
Starr reportedly told police he knew medical help was more than five minutes away, so instead of calling 911, he just went ahead and put Schenk out of his misery with a direct shot to the head. “Like you would a deer that was injured or suffering,” Starr told police.
Since dead guys have no need for cash, Starr allegedly swiped $300 from Schenk’s wallet. Starr and Matson then dragged Schenk’s body off the trail and covered it with a tarp, where it was found by a hiker two days later.…
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NEWTON COUNTY, GA – Police have arrested a teenager after he was videotaped having sex with his neighbor’s female pit bulls.
Dr. Cathryn Lafayette says 19-year old Bernard Archer was supposed to clean out the kennel that housed her four pit bulls on Saturday. She had paid for him to enter a program to get his GED, and this was part of how he was to repay the debt.
But when police showed up to her door the other day, they informed her that it wasn’t just the dogs’ kennel Archer had been inside of that day. They informed her that they were there because her neighbors had called 911 to report seeing “a young black male having sexual intercourse with two dogs.”
At first she couldn’t believe what she was hearing, that Archer would repay her favor by raping her dogs, until police showed her some video her neighbors had taken.
“And it showed him on his knees inside the kennel with my dog. He was on his knees like he was a dog,” said Lafayette.…
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Toledo, OH - Lawrence J. Clement, 57, has turned himself in to Toledo police after having been told that there was an active warrant for his arrest. This in response to allegations that he was discovered touching a corpse ‘in a sexual manner’ while working at a funeral home.
Police say Clement – of Temperance Michigan – had “sexual contact by means of touching the erogenous zone” of Brenda Shular-Cameron, 51. Shular-Cameron had died Sunday of multiple organ failure. Shular-Cameron’s family was reportedly told that another funeral home employee witnessed Clement “fondling” the woman’s corpse.
Clement, who had worked part time at H.H. Birkenkamp Funeral Home where the incident allegedly occurred, has since been fired by the company, a spokesman said Wednesday. The family of the victim reportedly said they were told Clement worked there for seven years and was a ‘greeter.’
“I’m enraged,” said Anne Lamprecht, the victim’s mother. “My daughter died a horrible death. She was a beautiful young woman. I cringe to even think of them touching her.”
The family had the woman’s body transferred to a different funeral home, but the future is not yet clear.…
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Houston, TX – Brittany Martinez, a 24-year-old emergency medical technician, has been charged with solicitation of capital murder after prosecutors say she paid a man to kill her firefighter husband.
According to court documents, she got caught after the man she hired to help her husband, a restaurant manager at Casa Ole, went to police. He told them that Martinez confided she was having marital issues and she wanted him to kill her husband. She would pay him $500 up front and then $1000 to $2000 once the job was done.
The manager told her he didn’t want to kill her husband, but he’d find someone who would. Two weeks later, on Sunday, Martinez gave the manager $500, her husband’s work schedule along with a photo of her husband — all to be relayed to the would-be killer. She needed the job done quickly, before her husband noticed the missing funds.
After she left, the manager called her back and recorded the phone call. In the recording, Martinez gave instructions that the hit man should kill her husband in the back parking lot of the fire station where he works in order to avoid security cameras positioned across the street.…
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DAVIS, OK – Police have arrested an elderly gentlemen after he was caught on camera making sweet, sweet love to a female pig inside a school’s agriculture barn.
Surveillance video inside a barn located on the property of Davis Public Schools captured 77-year-old Jimmy “Hawkeye” Jeter walking into the pig’s pen, unzipping his pants and pulling something out of his pants. He then bends over the pig and shows his extreme appreciation for the other white meat.
When questioned by police, Jimmy Jeter informed them that they had it all wrong and that he didn’t have sex with the pig, he simply stuck his finger “up her private.” He did admit that he got sexual gratification from the incident and used to do this in the early ’70s.
Jeter was arrested and booked into the Murray County Jail on charges of detestable and abominable crime against nature. Jeter seems to have a tendency to get into trouble with animals, having served time for stealing cattle in 2008 and attempting to steal horses in 2011.…
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DANBURY, CT – Police have arrested a homeless couple after they were caught having sex in public at a Connecticut ice rink.
According to reports, someone called police on 41-year-old Jonathan Price and 38-year-old Shannon McClung after observing them having sex on a stage at the Danbury Ice Arena. The stage is open on all sides and normally used for concerts during the summer.
Both Price and McClung, who live in local homeless shelters, were arrested and charged with breach of peace and public and are being held on $500 bonds.
While the mental image of these two bumping uglies causes my dick to run down the street screaming in horror after recoiling backwards through my butthole, I did find it humorous that at the time of their arrest several adult women were gathered around the stage watching them.…
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LINCOLN PARK, MI – Within hours of me writing up a story about a woman in Michigan who won $1 million but was still using food assistance money given to her by the state, reports are that she has now been cut off by the state.
What was initially being reported was that even though 24-year-old Amanda Clayton had won $1 million in the Michigan State Lottery, she was still taking and spending the $200 she gets from taxpayers to pay for food.
Detroit’s Local 4 reported that after taking the lump sum and paying taxes, Clayton’s pocketed around $500,000 in lottery winnings. She used the money to buy a car and a new house — the latter she paid for in cash. What she did not do was to get a job or report her winnings to the Michigan Department of Human Services; a requirement for anyone receiving state funds.
I wish I could embed this video from Local 4 where they track down Clayton and ask her if she thought it was right for her to be mooching off taxpayers to buy her groceries after winning the lottery, especially when so many people out there desperately need that kind of assistance.…
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Brooklyn, NY – On September 28, a 2-week-old boy died at Maimonides Hospital in Brooklyn. A subsequent investigation by the medical examiner office led to a determination of the official cause of death to be, “disseminated herpes simplex virus Type 1, complicating ritual circumcision with oral suction.”
This is basically a fancy way of saying that the newborn died after a rabbi with herpes cleaned the baby’s freshly circumcised penis with his mouth. Despite this sounding like a really good idea… it turns out that it is not.
Far from being some new fad, the ritual of oral suction — or in Hebrew, metzitzah b’peh — was first described some 1800 years ago in a section of the Talmud. The procedure is spelled out very clearly – as is the consequence of not doing it correctly.
If a surgeon does not suck, it is dangerous and he is dismissed.
Taken literally, the procedure occurs during the circumcision ritual as the practitioner, or mohel, removes the foreskin of the penis. He then sucks the blood from the wound to clean it.…
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Potrero, CA - Richard Fox, 39, achieved a D’D trifecta when, after drinking, he loaded his homemade cannon with powder extracted from fireworks, ignited it sending shrapnel through his mobile home, thus killing his 38-year-old girlfriend.
San Diego County Sheriff’s Department homicide detectives are investigating the incident at the Twin Lakes Resort mobile home park near the California-Mexico border where Jeanette Ogara was found dead just after midnight. There was little mystery as to the cause of her demise.
“They had a large-sized hole in the side of the trailer,” Mike Moller of Cal Fire told news reporters.
Three other adults were inside the trailer when the mobile home was hit by the shrapnel from the exploding cannon. For those of you who can still see on your four horizons the distant edges of the continental land mass that is Fox’s stupidity, I will add that the dead woman’s 4-year-old daughter was also in the trailer at the time. Thankfully, neither the young girl nor the other adults were hurt.
One of Fox’s neighbors said the couple have been together for about 10 years and that Fox was a handyman who liked to tinker with things.…
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