Here, Now – I know I’m late getting this one posted, but this is last week’s Pulpit of Doom Podcast with myself, Jaded and Athena talking about the top ten stories for that week.
These stories included pit bull shenanigans, starving babies, inbred mutants, penis helicopters, and much, much more. Unfortunately, the guy who ass-raped a woman with his fist was number one for the third week in a row. Luckily, it looks like it has finally fallen down the list and will be gone before tomorrow night’s podcast
I also went on a mini-rant about some of our readers and their hypocritical stance regarding what bad news we should post, and what we shouldn’t. Some do not seem to understand that we simply pick the worst stories we can find. If that means pit bulls mauling people to death or a child being raped and murdered. It’s basic yellow journalism. It’s Schadenfreude. We just don’t have any issues admitting that.
We also stress to our readers that we are not true reflection of society, just a very small percentage of it.…Continue Reading
London – The lead singer for Lostprophets, 36-year-old Ian Watkins, was accused of a slew of child sex related crimes that included trying to rape a baby, sexually touching a 1-year-old, encouraging a fan to abuse her child and making child pornography.
He pleaded pleaded guilty last month to 13 charges and was sentenced yesterday to 29 years in prison. But that’s the good news. I’m here with some bad news – in the form of Judge Roger John Royce’s statements during the sentencing. His statements were directed to Watkins and the two women accused of raping their babies for Watkins’ pleasure, and included the following remark:
“I am satisfied that you are a deeply corrupting influence, you are highly manipulative, you are a sexual predator, you are dangerous,” Judge Roger John Royce said. “The public and, in particular, young females need protection from you.”
Before we get to the rest of his statements, it has also been revealed that police are now investigating whether Watkins committed similar crimes abroad.…Continue Reading
Arlington, TX – After holding up the Educational Employees Credit Union in Arlington Tuesday afternoon, and walking out the door with a reported $5,000 in his hands, an alleged bank robber got robbed. Heh.
When Larry Poulos walked into the credit union and handed the teller a deposit slip with the word “bomb” written on the back, the teller first thought she was the victim of a very, very bad joke. When Poulos started fidgeting around with something in his waistband, the woman started stuffing the provided bag with cash.
Poulos exited the bank and took off running like his ass was on fire. Right about then, someone called police to report seeing a man running through an apartment complex behind the bank holding a bag with money flying out of it. Nope, not suspicious at all….
Poulos’ roommate later told police Poulos entered the apartment shortly after 1:00 and disappeared into a back bedroom. Just moments later, two rather large men walked into the apartment. After some sort of short-lived commotion, those two men exited the apartment carrying handfuls of money.…Continue Reading
Norfolk, VA — A 31-year-old man is facing numerous charges after police say he flashed a handgun in the general direction of a manager at McDonald’s when said manager informed him he must fill out an application for employment online.
According to police, Tevin Monroe walked into a Norfolk McDonald’s last week and asked for a job application. The manager on duty informed Monroe they don’t do paper applications anymore — the application process is handled online. Because fuck doing things the old-fashioned way…. it’s all about cold, hard technology, bitch. Just click “Submit,” cross your fingers and pray an actual human looks at it and has the courtesy to get back in touch, k?
Anyway, Tevin wasn’t buying the whole “we don’t have paper applications” thing and asked again. Nonverbally. Like, with a gun. Tevin didn’t even have to remove the handgun from his waistband, he just flashed it. Then, whaddyaknow? A paper application appeared in the manager’s hands.
Poor, stupid Tevin was sitting down in the restaurant filling out that application when police arrived.…Continue Reading
Mayo allegedly popped some Xanax, then headed to Walmart for some new clothes, makeup and jewelry. Initially seen by loss prevention officers in the store, Mayo had been filling a trash bag with items pilfered from the shelves totaling $1,148.67. She then stumbled into the clothing section, removed the clothes she wore into the store, dumped them into a trash can and stood in the aisle, naked, looking for some new threads.
By the time officers arrived, Mayo was apparently disoriented and didn’t know where she was. According to Officer Charles Haubrich’s report, “Her speech was slurred, she was unsteady on her feet, couldn’t hold her head up, and her pupils were like pin holes.” Classy.
Not long afterward, a female officer arrived on the scene to escort Mayo into a dressing room and assist her in changing back into the clothes she arrived in. Not surprisingly, 36 Xanax pills were allegedly recovered from Mayo’s purse, of which she admitted to taking two of before the incident.…Continue Reading
On Dec. 7th, police responded to a home after a woman found her 6-month-old unresponsive in a playpen. The child, identified only as “J.B.”, was rushed to the hospital where he would be pronounced dead hours later.
According to the affidavit, The boy suffered bruising to his forehead, cheek, nose, right side of his head and base of the skull, as well as blood coming out of one of his ears. An autopsy revealed the child also had a subdural hematoma on his brain.
Walker was the one caring for J.B. the night he died, but he claimed he never harmed the boy. When he was interviewed a second time, he finally came clean. He said he was watching the University of Oklahoma/Oklahoma State football game on television when he got angry with the child’s crying during the second half of the game.
He stated that he picked up J.B.…Continue Reading
Early Monday morning, Camlin went on what he thought would be a nice bike ride, only to be hit from behind by a vehicle matching the description of Inostroza’s black Ford Mustang. After impact, police say, Camlin hit the front windshield, rolled over the roof of the car, and landed onto the back windshield where he was wedged between the window and the spoiler.
Inostroza is said to have then driven for another two miles before dumping the injured man in a wooded area behind a dumpster. After that, he did what every normal person does after an accident — he went home and took a nap.
A few hours later, a landscaping crew found the man clinging to life. 911 was called and Camlin was taken to the hospital. His body temperature was so low when they got to him that if he hadn’t been found when he was, it’s likely he wouldn’t have survived.…Continue Reading
Brooklyn, NY – A teenage couple suffered serious burns after they attempted to make a potent form of marijuana but only ended up blowing themselves up inside a garage.
Anthony Gambale, 19, and Gabriella Katanov, 17, were making their stash 80 percent stronger by creating what is called “ear wax,” “dabs,” “honey oil,” or “butter.” The names are derived from the final product’s yellowish color and gooey consistency.
There are many how-to videos available online showing people how they can turn their herb into ear wax if you want to try it yourself, but one of the main steps includes soaking your marijuana in butane.
This couple had already finished that step, using a 30-gallon tub to cover some cannabis, and were in the process of evaporating the gas when one of the morons decided that was the perfect time to light up a cigarette.
The resulting explosion woke up the neighbors, who reported hearing the couple screaming for help from inside the burning garage. Gambale and Katanov were both transported to Staten Island University Hospital in serious condition, suffering from second- and third-degree burns.…Continue Reading
BAKERSFIELD, CA – A 17-year-old girl has been accused of murdering the 2-year-old boy she was supposed to be babysitting.
The teen was supposed to be caring for Kayden Webb while his mother was helping out at her own mother’s house. It’s not clear who called for help, but Webb stopped breathing around 3:15 a.m. Monday morning. Emergency crews transported Webb to a nearby hospital, but the boy would be pronounced dead a few hours later.
Later the same day, investigators said they’d developed enough probable cause to arrest the teen and book her into juvenile hall, accused of first-degree murder and assault on a child causing death. They have not reported exactly how the boy died, but Sheriff’s spokesman Ray Pruitt said there was evidence the boy had been assaulted.
“It’s our belief, at this point, that he died as a result of injuries that he sustained while he was with the female suspect,” Pruitt told reporters. ”We were able to develop information that leads us to believe that she’s responsible for his death.”
Neighbors say the teen was homeless and Webb’s mother had let her stay in her home because she didn’t want the teen living on the street.…Continue Reading
Casco Township, MI – A man in Michigan was arrested after he allegedly punched his mother in the face repeatedly while decorating the family Christmas tree.
Pasco Township Police received a 911 call from a home on Friday with no one on the line. However, shouting could be heard as well as a female yelling “you are hurting me.” When police arrived at the home, they found 33-year-old Lewis Atwood with his girlfriend, mother and brother.
According to the report, the family had been decorating the family Christmas tree when a drunken Atwood flew into a jealous rage over finding his brother had a personalized ornament to hang on the tree, but he did not. In response, he began repeatedly punching his 58-year-old mom in the face.
The woman suffered a bloody nose, swollen eye and a swollen lip. As for Atwood, he had minor injuries to his knuckles and hands consistent with drunkenly punching your mother in the face multiple times. Atwood was arrested for domestic violence and booked into the county jail, where he’s being held on a $5000 bond.…Continue Reading
Boca Raton, FL — A former employee of Florida Atlantic University is facing charges after police say he secretly filmed students pissing and masturbating in the men’s restroom on the campus, then uploaded those video files to several pornographic websites.
Seth Thompson, a.k.a. Jerking_Bud, apparently filmed the unsuspecting men doing whatever it is that men do in a public restroom (Masturbating? Really?), then uploaded the videos to sites like PornHub, XTube, yuvutv, and Tumblr.
Police were tipped off to these skeevy shenanigans by one of the stars of his video clips — some student apparently stumbled across a video of himself pissing on PornHub. That same student recalled another male in the restroom at the time “casting suspicious glances” his way and carrying a large backpack.
Police reportedly found dozens of similar videos, with eye-catching titles like “A college kid and his dad taking a leak at a public bathroom,” “My buddy jerking off in the stall next to me,” and “My collection of hidden videos of guys taking a leak and jerking off,” posted on the aforementioned websites… all uploaded under the Jerking_Bud moniker. …Continue Reading
Sante Fe, TX — A Sante Fe couple were taken into police custody Friday after police raided their home and found a bunch of drugs and stuff. That’s not what landed them here on the DD, though… it was the bodies of nearly two dozen tortured cats that earned them their spot.
Brian Cheek and his wife, Veronica Springer, were apparently the target of a somewhat lengthy narcotics investigation. When police finally raided Friday, a search of the couple’s home revealed roughly 9 grams of crystal meth, a scale and packaging materials. In addition to the narcotics, a stolen ATV valued at about $14,000 was recovered.
In addition to the drugs, police reportedly found about 20 dead cats, ranging from kittens to adults, on the property. Each and every one had apparently been tortured. Investigators stated that there was evidence of blunt force trauma, disemboweling, strangulation, and burning. One of the dead cats was discovered in a box in the bed of Cheek’s truck.
Remains of several of the cats were picked up by Galveston County Sheriff’s Office Animal Cruelty investigators and will be examined by necropsy.…Continue Reading
Police allege Andrew Bullock first exposed himself to the 86-year-old woman as she was tossing books into a recycling bin Friday morning. When that didn’t bring him the satisfaction he desired, he reportedly roughed her up a bit, threw her to the ground and raped her.
“The first thing you notice when you look up up where this horrific act occurred, is the statue of the Virgin Mary looking down,” said Assistant Chief Dan Couch.
Police say a boot print in the snow is what ultimately led them to the alleged old lady raper, and Bullock, described by Couch as a “loner” was arrested later that day.
Dicksneeze has been charged with rape and aggravated assault.
Barbara Hecht, a spokesperson for the Sisters of St. Joseph, the order to which the victim belonged, said the woman had suffered a dislocated jaw and was released from Allegheny General Hospital in Pittsburgh on Saturday.…Continue Reading
WOOSTER, OH – Police have arrested 24-year-old Jerrod Metsker and charged him with the murder of a 9-year-old girl found murdered in a dumpster.
Reann Murphy was last seen Saturday at around 5:30 p.m. playing outside her family’s trailer in the Smithville mobile home park. When her family could not locate her after she did not return back home, police were called at around 8:30 p.m. that night.
Police and firefighters arrived on the scene and assisted neighbors in their search for Reann, including visiting the 15 to 20 mobile homes that make up the community. Six hours later, Reann’s murdered body was found inside a common dumpster located in the courtyard of the trailer park.
“Any violent death is troubling but the death of a child is much more so. We will leave no stone unturned as this investigation continues,” Sheriff Travis Hutchinson said at the time.
It didn’t take long for investigators to identify Metsker as a possible suspect, as he was the last one seen with the girl.…Continue Reading
Mia Gibson was bitten and dragged around the living room floor by the family pets, 2 Shiba Inus, after falling off the couch while sleeping with her dad, 33-year-old Chris Kusumi.
Sgt. Steven Little reported that it appears the two dogs did not attack the baby but were trying to play with her…in a chewy-toy sorta way. The little girl was found with “puncture wounds but no trauma”. Whatever the hell that means.
Eventually, one of the two dogs nudged the bedroom door where the girl’s mother, 34-year-old Sabrena L. Gibson, was catching up on the Zzzz-s and disturbed her slumber. It was here that she discovered the still remains of her newborn daughter.
Mia was rushed to the hospital but was pronounced dead. Her distressed mother began causing a scene and threatened to snuff herself after doctors informed her of her daughter’s death. Police transported both parents to a local mental health center…hopefully to get them some unbroken sleep.…Continue Reading
Hermilo Salmeron was driving his son, 30 year-old Joel Salmeron-Ciprian, his son’s wife, as well as his grandkids home from a wedding because his son was too drunk to drive.
Prosecutor’s have relayed that Salmeron-Ciprian munchy-wunched on his father’s face after the patriarch pulled the car over because his inebriated failure of a son was screaming expletives at him, punched him in the face, and eventually placed his hands around the driver’s throat.
A fight ensued after both men exited the truck leading up to the bite. All of this in front of the passengers in the car, which included young children.
King County deputy sheriffs answered the call and found Salmeron-Ciprian pinned to the ground by his father, who was bleeding profusely from his face. Medics responded to the scene and took the older man to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle.
Upon his arrest, Salmeron-Ciprian decided to challenge deputies, which led to his dumb ass being subdued with a stun-gun.…Continue Reading
MILTON, GA – A man was sentenced to life in prison after shooting his stepson to death during an argument over loud video games.
Back in February of last year, 46-year-old Eric Brandon got into an argument with his stepson, 16-year-old Alexander Koser, over the teen playing his video games too loudly. While Koser was fixing a snack in the kitchen, Brandon grabbed a 12-gauge shotgun.
When Koser turned around, Brandon shot the teen once in the chest. He then racked the shotgun and fired a second shot into the teen’s his chest. He then racked the shotgun again and fired a third shot into his stepson’s body.
Brandon called 911 and reported what he had done and was apprehended without incident. According to the DA, while in the back of the police car, Brandon told police that he hoped the teen was dead. He was eventually charged with two counts of felony murder and with possession of a weapon while committing a felony.
Jurors took less than 30 minutes to convict him of the charges on Wednesday.…Continue Reading
Rockville, UT – Two people were killed after a 300 ton boulder literally flattened a house during a rockslide.
Emergency crews from multiple agencies were dispatched to a hillside along State Route 9, which runs through Zion National Park, at around 5 p.m. yesterday. They would find the home that once stood at the bottom of the hill had been destroyed by several boulders, including one sumbitch that stood over 15-feet tall.
“It just flattened out,” Rockville’s mayor, Dan McGuire, said of the house.
Sadly, the house wasn’t the only thing flattened out. Two people who were in the home have now been confirmed dead. Springdale Police Chief Kurt Wright said two bodies were found inside the home and were found close to each other.
Their names have not been released, but neighbors said they were beloved, longtime residents.
No official word on what caused the rockslide, but Wright blamed it on the winter weather. He said they’ve experiencing abnormally low temperatures and an abundance of snow. However, temperatures peaked at about 45 degrees on Thursday, possibly thawing the frozen rocks and sending them rolling down the hill.…Continue Reading
According to police, Lopez Webster, 32, entered Timothy Kingery’s home at about 9:00 p.m. that evening and ordered the man to his knees. He yelled something unintelligible at the man two or three times, Kingery didn’t know what dude was going on about, before he proceeded to get stabby.
Police say Kingery was left with three stab wounds on his arm, as well as lacerations to the chest, right arm and neck.
Webster then reportedly grabbed something from the house and ran off.
Just a few blocks down the street, police say, Webster started running along a double set of train tracks. According to a witness waiting for the train to pass, Webster crossed one set of tracks without issue. When he tried to jump between the cars rumbling down the second set of tracks, well, he went and got himself all broken.…Continue Reading
Readers of this site are well-informed on the dangers of pit bulls and their insatiable lust for human blood. But a man in Italy didn’t find this out until one of his two pit bulls chewed off his balls.
Firefighters found the 30-year-old man inside his apartment after his girlfriend, who hadn’t heard from him, called and asked them to perform a welfare check. She explained that he was a chronic diabetic and may have suffered a medical emergency preventing him from calling for help.
Once firefighters got inside the man’s apartment, they found him laying on the floor unconscious. He had lost a lot of blood from a severe injury caused by one of his two pit bulls chowing down on his yam bag. The man was rushed to the hospital in serious condition, but it is now being reported that he died from his injuries yesterday morning.…Continue Reading