Las Vegas, NV – Jose Canseco, a former MLB player and convicted wife beater, is a suspect in a reported sexual assault. While no charges have been filed, Canseco took to his Twitter on Wednesday to inform his followers of the situation while also tweeting his accuser’s name, picture and telephone number.
It started with four posts he made on Twitter yesterday, starting with one at 1:15 that read: “Breaking news this is a first folks las vegas police were just at my house i have been charged with rape by a [removed] from las vegas”
Two more tweets follow in which he welcomes the media to this “drama filled event” and says he’s willing to take a polygraph test. The fourth read:”[name removed] told police that i drugged her and then raped her.hmmmmm.lets find out what really happened.”
Metro Sgt. John Sheahan confirmed part of Canseco’s announcement. “He’s being investigated for an alleged sexual assault, and that’s it,” Sheahan said. He also confirmed officers spoke with Canseco Wednesday morning and that Canseco agreed to an interview that has not taken place yet.…Continue Reading
Police Charge Internet Celebrity, Kai The Hatchet-Wielding Hitchhiker, With The Murder Of New Jersey LawyerMay 17, 2013 at 8:35 am by Agony In Black
PHILADELPHIA, PA – Police have arrested the Internet ‘celebrity’ known as “Kai the Hatchet-Wielding Hitchhiker” and have charged him with the murder of a New Jersey lawyer.
Kai, better known to his friends and relatives as 24-year-old Caleb Lawrence McGillvary, was tagged with the less-than catchy nickname after he used a hatchet to subdue a man who tried to run over a California utility worker in February.
A rambling, profanity-laced interview with the local media went viral, sparking his rise to low-level internet stardom that included appearing on Jimmy Kimmel Live.
Authorities believe McGillvary killed 73-year-old Joseph Galfy after after the two met in Times Square Saturday night. Prosecutors allege Galfy brought McGillvary back to his house in Clark, NJ, for a sexual encounter.
On Monday, Galfy’s body was found by police conducting a well-being check. Galfy was discovered wearing only his socks and underwear. An autopsy later determined the cause of death to be blunt force trauma.
McGillvary posted on Facebook Tuesday, presenting the idea of waking up in a stranger’s house, groggy and having been raped in the mouth.…Continue Reading
Ocenaside, CA – Tim Lambesis, the 32-year-old lead singer for the
jumbo shrimp Christian metal band As I Lay Dying, has been arrested and accused of trying to hire a hitman to kill his estranged wife.
Police received information last Thursday that Lambesis was “soliciting another individual” to kill his wife, Meggan, who filed for divorce last September. She currently lives in Encinitas with three Ethiopian children the couple had adopted.
According to the San Diego Sheriff’s Department, “The Encinitas Detectives, The San Diego Fugitive Task Force and the Sheriff’s Special Investigation Division investigators immediately initiated an investigation. The investigation culminated this afternoon [Tuesday], when Lambesis solicited an undercover detective to kill his wife.”
In his defense, while the Bible is pretty clear that you should not kill anyone, it’s a bit hazy when it comes to hiring someone else to do it for you. Lambesis was arrested without incident, then booked into the Vista Detention Facility. His next court appearance should be today or tomorrow.
I’ve never listened to As I Lay Dying, or any religious themed band that doesn’t worship the devil, so I have no idea if they are any good or not.…Continue Reading
Nashville, TN – Todd Harrell, the bassist for that horrible band responsible for the horrible song “Kryptonite,” has been charged with vehicular homicide after he drunkenly hit a pickup truck with his car, killing the driver.
The incident happened Friday night in Nashville, where police say Harrell was speeding in his car when he clipped a pickup truck driven by Paul Howard Shoulders. The truck was sent careening down an embankment and Shoulders was killed after being ejected from his truck. Harrell suffered minor injuries.
Police said 41-year-old Harrell showed signs of impairment at the scene and admitted he’d consumed hard cider along with some Lortab and Xanax. After being taken to jail, deputies found Harrell was hiding a bag in his sock that contained 8 Xanax pills, 24 oxycodone pills and 4 oxymorphone pills.
Todd Harrell is currently in jail on $100,000 bond on charges of vehicular homicide and bringing controlled substances into the jail.
harrell had gotten into similar trouble last year in D’Iberville, MI, after crashing his black Cadillac into the rear of a pickup truck while intoxicated.…Continue Reading
The details are a tad confusing, because this jackass has a history of acting like an idiot with his women, but let me see if I can get this straight. Furlong was placed on three years probation back in 2010 when he pleaded no contest to violating a protective order that was obtained by his ex-wife, Rachael Kneeland. Part of that agreement was that Furlong nor break any laws. As you can see by the timeline below, he failed miserably.
After his third domestic violence arrest in January, Kneeland requested an extension to her protective order against Furlong. Since Furlong had broken the law, he violated his probation. The judge was so upset with Furlong for not taking the restraining order conditions seriously, that he threw Furlong’s ass in jail until his next court appearance on March 4th and told him he belongs in a lockdown treatment facility for substance abuse.…Continue Reading
For those who don’t know who hell this lady is, she played a character on Melrose Place, one of the worst shows to come out of the ’90s aside from Home Improvement. I have no clue what she did after the show was finally cancelled, but in 2010 she made headlines after getting behind the wheel of an SUV with a blood alcohol level that was three times past the legal limit.
After rear-ending Maureen Ruckelshaus, Locane-Bovenizer refused to get out of her car and fled the scene. Ruckelshaus followed Locane-Bovenizer for four mile, watching as the 40-year-old took out a few mailboxes. When a car moved out from in front of Locane-Bovenizer, she accelerated to 50 mph and plowed into the passenger side of a car turning into a driveway.
The driver of that car, Fred Seeman, was seriously injured but survived. His wife, 60-year-old Helene Seeman, was his passenger and took the brunt of the impact.…Continue Reading
Scottsdale, AZ – Jason London, the actor best known for his role as Randall “Pink” Floyd in DAZED AND CONFUSED, was arrested after getting his ass kicked by some bouncers at an Arizona club, and produced one of the most hilarious celebrity mugshots I have seen since Nick Nolte’s. He also allegedly shit his pants on purpose, but we’ll get to that in a second.
The 40-year-old was with his wife at the Martini Ranch nightclub in Scottsdale, Arizona when he reportedly sneezed on a bouncer. When the bouncer asked for an apology, London punched the man in the face.
This led to London being ejected from the club and getting his face rearranged in the process. When police arrived, London became even more belligerent and shoved one of the paramedics who had arrived to treat him.
London then had some choice words for the police when they arrested him for disorderly conduct and assault. “Guess what faggot? I fucking love this. I fucking own you guys so hard,” London reportedly yelled at the officers.…Continue Reading
Los Angeles, CA – A judge has banned “actor” Edward Furlong from being alone with his six-year-old son after the boy tested positive for cocaine.
Although it’s not clear how the drugs got into the boy’s system, his ex-wife alleges they got there while he was in Furlong’s custody. On Friday, Furlong argued that his ex, Rachael Bella, is a liar who will do or say anything to keep him away from his son and destroy his (*insert air quotes*) career. The judge sided with Furlong’s ex-wife and ruled that Furlong no longer be allowed with his son without strict supervision.
Furlong’s career started when he 14-years-old, when he starred in TERMINATOR 2 and almost made it unwatchable with the sound on. His career peaked in 1998 when he starred alongside Edward Norton in the superb AMERICAN HISTORY X. Since then, Furlong has starred in a long line of turds, battling drugs and alcohol along the way.
The guy has spent time in rehab, and has a long history of arrests stemming from his drug use and\or assaulting his women.…Continue Reading
The alleged mastermind behind the bizarro plan is convicted killer and apparent Bieber fan, 45-year-old Dana Martin – a man serving two life sentences for the rape and murder of a 15-year-old Vermont girl back in 2000.
According to police, the aged “Belieber” began to formulate his evil plan after Bieber “slighted” him by refusing to respond to any of his messages. Oh, and did I mention Martin has Bieber’s face tatted on his leg? Yeah…
Martin apparently hooked up with another prisoner, 41-year-old Mark Staake, and fed him some bullshit about how he had access to a metric shit ton of money, acreage in Vermont and some connections to some Chinese gang in New York. Not sure what Chinese gangs have to do with anything, but whatever. If Staake wanted a piece of Martin’s fame and fortune, he just had to do one simple thing………
KILL THE BIEBER.…Continue Reading
Los Angeles, CA – The mugshot you are looking at is 42-year-old Lisa Robin Kelly, better known as Eric Foreman’s slutty sister from “That 70s Show.” She got herself arrested Saturday on a felony charge of corporal injury upon a spouse, and was released on $50,000 bail.
But not before taking the mugshot that has now gone viral because if there is one thing people love, it’s actually seeing a visual representation of another’s downward spiral.
In this case the visual representation is in the form of a mugshot, one in which a disheveled Kelly manages to put something that resembles a smile on her face. The kind of smile someone uses immediately before slicing off their own nipples and drowning their young in the bathtub.
After she was released, Kelly took to her Facebook page and began begging her “friends” for money, claiming she is being set up by her boyfriend who is attempting to ruin her acting career and is making money selling pictures of her to TMZ.
“I did nothing to hurt John Michas.…Continue Reading
HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. – The rape trial of Joseph Hyungmin Son has is has started in Orange County. You may not recognize the name, but you may recognize him as “Random Task,” the shoe-throwing villain from the film Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery.
But seven years before he would star in that film and four years before he would get have his groin treated like a red-headed stepchild during his UFC 4 match with Keith Hackney, it seems 39-year-old Son was up to no good.
Back in 1990, a 20-year-old woman was walking her dog on Christmas Eve, checking out the Christmas lights when Son, along with a second suspect, allegedly dragged the woman into the back of a car, pistol whipped her and raped her repeatedly. Son is also accused of raping the victim with a gun before she was released in Compton naked with her pants tied around her eyes.
This case would remain unsolved until 2008 when a DNA sample Son gave to authorities following a probation violation linked him to the 18-year-old crime.…Continue Reading
Woodlands Hills, CA – Jani Lane, the 47-year-old ex-lead singer for the hair band Warrant, was found dead in a California Comfort Inn hotel room on Thursday night, while somewhere in England, Keith Richards slept like a baby.
A cause of death has not been released at this time, but the man has a history of alcohol issues. He pleaded no contest to misdemeanor DUI in 2009 after crashing into a parked car and he spent 120 days in jail for a similar incident in 2010.
I could not tell you how many times I wished for this man’s death when his grinning mug was prancing around MTV in his white leather. I also could not describe to you how ecstatic I was the day grunge had kicked the hair bands’ sorry asses off of television and radio.
It’s been over 20 years and I still think Warrant blows bloated corpse cock, representing pretty much everything I hated about that genre of music. While I’d still rather receive a blow job from a weed-eater than have to listen to a compilation of hair bands’ greatest hits, I quit wishing for their actual deaths a long time ago.…Continue Reading
Cheadle, UK - Nicholas Read, 40, who had been convicted of indecent exposure last month, was given a 20-week jail term as punishment. It was then suspended by the UK court official who stated that jail ‘would not help him.’
Read is an actor who, up until this incident, was best known for his work in the Harry Potter and Star Wars films – having played both a Gringotts goblin and an Ewok warrior. The life of an Ewok warrior is understandably hard. Sadly, this Ewok warrior’s fall from grace was evident by his conviction for mastubating under a bowler hat while traveling on a UK passenger train last October.
On that fateful day, Read was reportedly traveling between London and Leicester by train. Court documents say that Read seated himself in an aisle seat next to a teenage girl at the window. Read was convicted for covering his lap with his bowler hat and stroking his mini-mini-me for “30 to 40 minutes” while effectively “trapping” his victim.
Inspector Mark Clements of British Transport Police said, “Read’s actions were deplorable.…Continue Reading
London – News reports are confirming that 27-year-old singer Amy Winheouse was found dead in her London home this afternoon.
Police said they found her body at her flat in Camden Square, north London, after being called by ambulance services. Metropolitan police are treating the death as unexplained.
Winehouse has a pretty long history detailing her battles with drugs and alcohol, remaining cannon fodder for the tabloids for a pretty good run until Lindsay Lohan showed up. But her devoted fans had hoped for a comeback when Winehouse started her Back to Black tour after spending a week in rehab. Not surprisingly, it didn’t take.
She was booed off the stage after showing up in Belgrade, stumbling around on stage, mumbling and forgetting the lyrics to her own songs.
Shortly after that disastrous performance, Winehouse cancelled her remaining tour dates while her management released a statement that read: ”Amy Winehouse is withdrawing from all scheduled performances. Everyone involved wishes to do everything they can to help her return to her best and she will be given as long as it takes for this to happen.”
I’ll update this as more details become available.…Continue Reading
Miami, FL - The porn star known as ‘Ramon’ from Bang Bus fame was arrested Monday. This after police were called to a parked van where a crying baby was believed to have been heard. In the 90-degree Miami heat, such a cry could be a death sentence.
No baby was found in the van. Police did however find: eight crowing roosters, four flapping guinea hens, one waddling duck, four captive pigeons, and four live goats tied in plastic garbage baaaaaags.
If you did that right, you were holding pretty steady with the tune from the Twelve Days of Christmas. Give it another try. We’ll wait… Okay.
After about 45 minutes, James Arroyo Jr, 44, and Raul ‘Ramon’ Armenteros, 46, reportedly sauntered up and claimed the vehicle – and its contents – to be theirs.
Police said one of the goats died later that day. The cause of death was not reported.
Arroyo and Armenteros were arrested and charged with 22 counts of animal cruelty with intent to injure.…Continue Reading
For those of you unfamiliar, Coheed and Cambria is a band that rocks pretty hard despite a lead singer that sounds like an open box of queefs placed on a stool before a microphone. The band was scheduled to open for Soundgarden Sunday night at the Comcast Center in Mansfield, MA. Todd was arrested at the venue before the show.
According to reports, Todd walked into the pharmacy around 1pm Sunday and passed his cell phone to a pharmacist. I do this in loud bars when I want to order complicated shots and watch the already busy bar staff squirm. The difference is that Todd wrote he wanted real drugs and that he had a bomb. Todd made off with six bottles of Oxycontin and got into a waiting cab which brought him to the concert.
Todd is facing charges of armed robbery and possession of a class B controlled substance, and is currently being held at Attleboro Police Department on $10,000 bail.…Continue Reading
April Margera, the mother of Bam Margera, confirmed the reports and also stated she thought there may be a third occupant involved in the crash, but she wasn’t sure.
The crash happened around 3 a.m. Monday morning at Route 322 and New Street. It’s not clear who was driving the vehicle, but some pictures of the wreckage confirm reports that it did catch on fire. One report states Dunn was driving his Porsche over 100 mph when it left the road and hit a tree before bursting into flames.
Hopefully it was a quick death and not one of those “trapped in burning wreckage” type deals, but a radio station says a firefighter who responded to the scene reported both bodies were burnt so badly that the second person has not been identified yet. Ryan was identified by some of his tattoos that he has on his chest and a few patches of facial hair.…Continue Reading
Las Vegas, NV - Douglas Brian Irvin Jr., 32, an actor who has appeared in the film THE HANGOVER, and TV’s CSI and ER, was arrested after allegedly telling a woman that if she didn’t have sex with him he would arrest her. Trouble is that he isn’t a cop.
Police said it all began after Irvin responded to an ad for a ‘sensual body rub.’ He reportedly asked the female masseuse to come to his hotel room.
The masseuse told police that Irving identified himself as “Mark” and agreed to her giving him a sensual body rub for $180. The police report stated that Mark told her that he was a plastic surgeon and that “money was no object.”
According to the report, Irvin began to touch the woman sexually against her will. When she told him to stop, he reportedly offered her $10,000 for sex. She said she agreed but asked for the money up front.
At this point, investigators say Irvin showed her a laminated ID card saying “police” with his photo on it.…Continue Reading
Los Angeles, CA – Estella Warren, a “celebrity” whose pictures I may have very well masturbated to 10 years ago, has gotten herself into a bit of trouble after getting arrested for DUI and assault.
“I believe she hit at least two other cars before she stopped. When I approached her she was obviously drunk and acting crazy. A few more residents approached her, but she started yelling and accused us of stealing things from her. When I told her she had to wait for the police to arrive she lashed out at me and started to ‘girl-slap’ me on my chest and arms.”
Does anything scream L.A. more than a drunk, C-grade actress girl-slapping the person whose car she just hit with their friggin’ Prius? Jesus.
But it gets better. When police arrived on the scene, they arrested Warren on suspicion of DUI after she failed a field sobriety test.…Continue Reading
Bridgeport, CT - Josue Rivera, 38, was arrested Tuesday morning by members of the U.S. Marshal Violent Crime Fugitive Task Force. The arrest resulted from Rivera having allegedly given a thumb drive to an employee of the Luz de Paz Funeral Home that was supposed to contain photographs of a deceased person to be played during a funeral. Instead, according to Detective David DeFeo, the drive contained numerous photographs of child pornography.
Police examined the thumb drive as part of an investigation. Police said they found 33 files of child pornography including a photograph of a girl who appears to be the defendant’s niece. This led police to seize a computer from Rivera’s home. An examination by a special unit of the Monroe Police Department found 153 files of suspected child pornography, including three videos. So far, the Child Recognition and Identification System identified 35 children who were in the photos and videos.
The comic book world is abuzz because of this. As it turns out, Rivera is a comic book artist who goes by the name Justiniano.…Continue Reading