Fort Worth, TX – People will never cease to amaze me. I know I’ve said it before, and I’m gonna say it again – just when I think I’ve seen it all, heard it all, read it all – along comes another story that makes me say, “What. The. Hell.” Last Monday, a 77-year-old woman was roused from her slumber by the sound of her doorbell ringing at about 1:30 a.m. When she got to the door, the person on the other side forced his way in by kicking it in. Once inside, the man grabbed the woman by the arm, forced her into a chair, and proceeded to jack off in front of her. Then the fucker demanded that the woman get in the kitchen and make him a sammich. Oh no he didn’t! [Read more...]

Carroll, IA – I’d like to give props to Matthew McNelly and Joey Miller for their resourcefulness and ability to think out of the box. I’d like to, but, I can’t. I will, however, give them props for making me laugh so hard I almost tinkled. It’s not every day we get to post a story here at the Dreamin’ Demon that exhibits such a high level of laughable fucktardary. Last Friday evening, police got a call about an attempted break-in. The caller described the suspects as two males with painted faces, both were wearing black hoodies, and it looked like both were armed. The caller reported that the two had just driven off in a large white car. Responding officers spotted a vehicle matching the description of the alleged suspect’s car just a couple of blocks away from the apartment and pulled it over. Just wait till you get a load of their awesome disguises!  [Read more...]

Stuart, FL – Grace Calabrese and her husband thought they had a really big raccoon in the attic of their condo – they could hear him up there, scuttling and scurrying around. Opening a closet door to gain access to the attic, GraceGrace reviews discovered they didn’t have a critter at all – they had a creepy, tattooed, loser guy crawling around in there. She had but a glimpse of the interloper as she opened the door – a chair attached to a cord was being lowered to the floor from the attic door in the ceiling. At the other end of the cord, a tattooed arm. The arm retreated back into the ceiling once it’s owner realized that Grace was armed with a knife. [Read more...]

Burlington, Vermont How many of you dreamt of flying when you were younger? Even better, how many of you actually tried to fly? I think the fantasy was always fueled by cartoons (in my day) and stuntmen with my children. HollywoodHollywood reviews always makes things look so easy and always manage to trick the mind. Unless you’ve seen the making of a movie, you never see the landing platforms below. You just see some idiot jumping from the top of a building, landing smoothly, and walking away as though it were as natural as breathing in and out. It’s not, I can tell you that for sure. Even with a belly full of booze, jumping out of a high window is never really a cool idea – I tried it in college. But the alcohol and the fit of laughter kind of made our legs a bit unstable so it was nothing for them to revolt mid air and say “fuck you” as we were plummeting to the ground. But what happens when you’re all tense and you “need” to get away from say…the police? Ask John Hawley. His attempt at flying or fleeing didn’t pan out so well when the police foiled his alleged robbery attempt. [Read more...]

MONT VERNON, New Hampshire – Residents of the small, hilly town of Mont Vernon are in a state of shock after four teens entered a home to rob it, and attacked a 41-year-old mother and her 11-year-old daughter. Using a machete and a knife, Kimberly Cates was attacked while she lay in her bed and killed by multiple sharp injuries to the head, torso, left arm, and left leg. Her daughter survived the attack although she suffered severe stabbing injuries and spent hours in surgery. The attack was a completely random one, Cate’s home chosen simply because it was isolated. “They picked the house at random because it was in an isolated area,” prosecutor N. William Delker said today during the teens’ arraignments in Milford District Court. “Before they entered the home, all four defendants were aware that the intent was to kill the occupants.” [Read more...]

Caldwell, Idaho – When paramedics arrived back to Canyon County Paramedic Building from a bogus 911 call about a car accident, they were shocked to see 35-year-old Melissa Farris pinned under the garage door and unconscious. She later died of asphyxiation at Saint Alphonsus Regional Medical Center. No one knows exactly why Melissa, who once worked at the building as a paramedic from OctoberOctober reviews 2001 to December 2008, ended up under the garage door. But it has been revealed that the 911 call the team had responded to had been placed by Melissa herself in a successful attempt to lure her former employees out of the building. “It means for us that she was wanting to get into that ambulance bay when nobody was there. I think that is pretty clear,” Caldwell Police Chief Chris Allgood told the Idaho Press-Tribune. “It does look like she was trying to get people out of the building before she went in.” [Read more...]

Orlando, FL – Seems Michael Sesic has a problem keeping his skeevy paws to himself – busted back in 2000  for raping a 4-year-old girl – MichaelMichael reviews is once again in hot water for attempting to get naughty with a 14-year-old girl. This time, though, there was some instant stabby justice. Early Wednesday morning, Michael broke into a home where a former girlfriend of his used to babysit. Investigators believe he entered through a screen door and then picked the lock inside and found the teens room – whether he knew the layout of the home or just lucked out is unknown. The sleeping girl was rudely awakened after the drunken asshole crept into her bed and attempted to get her shorts off. [Read more...]

Roseville, MI – Kimberly Ross and her 13-year-old daughter returned home just before 11:00 p.m. Monday evening to hear an odd ‘clunking sound’ coming from their washing machine. I can only imagine their horror when they opened up the door to see their new little kitten, RubyRuby reviews, lifelessly bouncing around in the spin cycle. If that, in itself, wasn’t bad enough, the Ross family had also been robbed. Some kitty killing, sticky fingered criminal had ransacked their home – making off with a laptop, video game system, and some cold hard cash. Oh, and did I mention the pilferer actually removed a load of laundry from the machine in order to make room for the 7-month-old 6-pound kitty? Nice. [Read more...]

Miami, Florida – A Miami home was host to a prowler on Thursday morning, but this particular person picked the wrong house. This home had been targeted at least four times before in the last two years, one of those times involved an armed robber. So when this person scaled a 6-ft fence to get on to the property, he came face-to-face with Carlos Kennedy and a struggle commenced. Carlos’ son heard the commotion and came out to help. That’s when the duo beat the intruder to death with a golf club. Florida’s castle law does allow residents to protect themselves or their property with lethal force if necessary. At this point, neither the father or son have been charged with a crime. [Read more...]

Merced, California There’s something pseudo inspiring about holding fundraisers. The time and energy it takes to coordinate such an effort, raising money for a worthy cause. With medical expenses on the rise, so are the number of these money making events. Although the generosity of others is moving – the people who just shell out the cold hard cash expecting nothing in return is phenomenal. I kind of like when a team of people get together, willing to do a little hard work in exchange for donations. It’s a win-win situation. So when Sara Kellum and friends decided to hold a car wash fundraiser for her boyfriend, well it’s hard to blame her when a easier opportunity arose and she decided to rob this guy instead of working for the money. [Read more...]

Cape Girardeau, Missouri is a town of a little over 37,000 stretched along the banks of the muddy Mississippi River. One would think, with the town’s dynamics:  for 100 women there are 86.9 males, men really wouldn’t have to fight for females! I mean seriously…unless there is an abundance of ugly ones out there. And what is with the 86.9 figure? I’ve never quite understood how they arrive at that, until now. I suppose, when someone looses a body part, that’s taken into account? And if that’s so, the ratio should now reflect something like 100 : 86.8  after some poor dude lost his ear lobe due to a little jealousy! [Read more...]

Long Branch, NJ – Way back in the old days, when I was just an itty bitty Jaded, I had my very own boogeyman. My boogeyman stood 7-8 feet tall, had greasy green hair, a ginormous mouth filled with pointy teeth and an over-sized tongue, breath that smelled like compost, long yellow fingernails, and glowing yellow eyes. I named him Bob. When Bob wasn’t hanging out watching me from my closet, he laid under my bed – waiting for my kid-sized bladder to wake me in the middle of the night so he could nibble on my tiny toes the instant they hit the floor. It took me quite some time, and a few sleepless bladder-filled nights, to realize that Bob the BoogeymanBoogeyman reviews was just a figment of my overactive imagination. As an adult, I now know the boogeyman is for real. Today’s boogeymen may not look terrifying and larger than life, the fact that they look like normal human beings is what makes them so scary. Take Luis Rodriguez for instance. He looks normal enough – notice the lack of greasy green hair and glowing yellow eyes. He may not be into nibblin’ toes, but he is into piddlin’ kiddos. [Read more...]

Salem, OR – To know that one of your neighbors has secretly been pawing around in your frillies is unsettling. To know that one of your creepy neighbors has actually been wearing your frillies is nauseating. To actually witness one of your creepy neighbors standing in your garage while wearing your frillies, that is puke inducing. Please meet Randall Giesbers. Handsome lookin’ fella, ain’t he? Randall loves the ladies frillies – they make him feel all schmexy and stuff. He was more or less busted in the act Monday evening. Not only busted breaking into someone’s home, but he was also found to be wearing the victims girly underthings. Gross. That, however, was just the tip of the skeevy iceberg. [Read more...]

Albany, OR – Even before I laid eyes on Arlayne Curiel’s fantastical mugshot, I had to wonder if she was completely retarded or just stupid. Now, I’m thinking she’s mostly stupid with a healthy dose of retardism thrown in for good measure. I mean, what sane adult would liquor up and sexually assault a 13-year-old child, only to turn around and spill the beans about it later? On top of that, when the folks in the neighborhood called her on the pervy shenanigans, she got all offended and called the cops, implicating herself. Yes, Demonites, on SaturdaySaturday reviews afternoon, the lovely lady called the boys in blue to report that she was being harassed by her neighbors for having sex with a 13-year-old boy – by Tuesday, she was sitting behind bars. [Read more...]