LAKELAND, Fla – A 9-year-old boy’s mother purchased an inert WWII “pineapple” grenade from an auction two years ago and had been using it as a paperweight until July 4th. That’s when her 9-year-old son, Edward Weise III, and his father took the black powder from firecrackers and stuffed it into the grenade and topped it off with a wick. It turned out to be a dud and the grenade was placed in a flower pot on an entertainment center. On Thursday, the boy was seen with the grenade, as well as a lighter. “This 9-year-old child, doing what 9-year-old children do, had this grenade in his hand, and he had a small lighter, and he touched the lighter to this grenade and it exploded,” Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said. “The explosion was significant enough that when the explosion went off in the kitchen, that shrapnel went through the kitchen wall into other rooms of the house,” Judd said. Now a couple of people are in a bit of trouble. [Read more...]

DAYTONA BEACH SHORES, Fla.  - God knows I have had some crazy neighbors in my lifetime. Jaded takes the cake on the crazy neighbor department. Thankfully none of them have tried setting me on fire…to my knowledge. But poor Jason Ward, 26, isn’t so lucky. He happens to live in the same condominiums as 46-year-old Marie John who has issues with the Internet and people who use it. On Sunday, John physically tried to take away Ward’s laptop while telling him that people were being killed over the Internet. Ward called police but did not press charges. Less than an hour later police were back at the Pirate’s Cove condos after Ward called reporting that John had just tried to set his ass on fire with a Molotov Cocktail. He claimed that John tried to light a rag that was stuffed into a beer bottle full of gasoline, but he was able to knock the bottle out of her hand and run into his condo. When police went to John’s residence, they found two more Molotov Cocktails. John explained that she had a presidential pardon to make the gas bombs as she needed to stop people from being murdered over the Internet. By murdering people using the Internet. John was charged with attempted murder, manufacturing a firebomb and aggravated assault.

UK – Paul Chambers, 26, was pissed off by the delays at Robin HoodRobin Hood reviews airport to the point that a few of the synapses in his brain misfired causing him to leave a message on TwitterTwitter (follow us, fool!) that read: “Robin Hood airport is closed. You’ve got a week and a bit to get your shit together, otherwise I’m blowing the airport sky high!!” As most of us can imagine, making a bomb threat regarding an airport these days, even if joking, isn’t in your best interests. Chambers learned this when a short time after making that hilarious comment, police where at his door. He was arrested under the Criminal Law Act 1977. After 6-hours of questioning and having his his computer and iPhone confiscated, he was let go. The message was deleted from Twitter’s website. Chambers Twitter profile describes him as a “film-watching, football-loving, rubbish-talking, hyphen-using idiot”. He has definitely proven two of those descriptions as a fact.

MORROW, Georgia – On Wednesday night, 45-year-old William C. Caldwell III was dressed in an elf costume and waiting in line with kids to see the Santa at Southlake Mall. When he got to the front of the line, Caldwell allegedly told Santa that he had dynamite in his bag. Santa then called security. The mall was evacuated and GBI bomb squad called in. No explosives were found, but the mall did not re-open that night. Caldwell is in jail charged with making terroristic threats, false public alarm, reckless conduct, disorderly conduct, possession of a hoax device, false imprisonment and simple assault. You know, at first this is kinda funny, envisioning a man looking like Caldwell dressed as an elf waiting in line with some kids. But then the dynamite thing just has me thinking, what a fucking dick. Not only did the mall lose a ton of money over this stunt, he unnecessarily scared the living shit out of some kids just trying to enjoy the holiday with their parents. Had I been there in the crowded mall surrounded by sheeple spending my paycheck away on overpriced shit for people who don’t deserve it and later in line with a bunch of snot-nosed brats waiting to pay too much for for a pic with a dude in a red suit trying to supplement his Social Security because of the Hen’s incessant whining about doing things with the family, only to end up being herded out because of some jackass…I would’ve punched the fucker in the face.  [Read more...]

NORTH BABYLON, Long Island – An explosion rocked a Long Island neighborhood when an explosive device Vincent Pizzonia, 17, was working on the basement of his parent’s home, accidentally exploded. The boy was injured and initial reports state that his parents took him to Good Samaritan Hospital in West Islip, and that he blew off one of his hands. Police had to bring in the Suffolk County Police Department’s Arson Squad as they found bomb making material and explosive devices on the premises. The the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives has now gotten involved as well, so I imagine Vinnie has some ’splainin’ to do as do the parents for not realizing their teen was in the basement making homemade bombs..
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Apple Valley, California Growing up, birthday parties were a big thing, both having them and going to them. The endless silly games that are played from ‘pin the tail on the ass’ to ‘telephone’. (You know, everyone sits in a circle, an adult whispers something to the first child and they’re to repeat it to the next. By the end of the circle the message is never the same. Kind of like a bunch of adults I know repeating gossip) But as children grow older the parties kind of wane. I mean, what kind of games do you play with a bunch of 14-year-olds? After the sweet-sixteen party, the 17th birthday is a pretty big let down. Nothing really exciting to do for that one. That is unless you’re the daughter of Glenn Nottle. He gave his daughter the memories of a lifetime for her birthday. A little gunfire, some throwing stars, a little pipe bomb…. [Read more...]

SOUTH FAYETTE TOWNSHIP, Pa. - A bomb squad was dispatched to a home in South Fayette Township and discovered six chlorine compression bombs that had been placed near the heads of five members of the Janney family while they had been sleeping. had they gone off, they could have been killed or at the very least, seriously injured. Police have now arrested Christopher Janney, aged 16.

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Chesterfield, SC - Dear Ryan Schallenberger,

High school sucks.   GirlsGirls reviews can be bitches.  BoysBoys reviews can be assholes.  Stuff happens that makes you want to slam your locker and blow up the building – but you know all about that, don’t you?  Yeah.   See, Ryan, I’ve looked at what passes for your Myspace, and I know you don’t even have a FacebookFacebook, and your social network is kind of jacked.  But Ryan, Ryan, Ryan… don’t buy your ammonium nitrate on EbayeBay. [Read more...]

Lansing, KS – Olivia Jackson and her unborn baby Michelle are dead because Sedale Fox and Jared Reed hate babies. And the baby’s mama, too. Sedale Fox, 23, is the father of Olivia Jackson’s unborn child. Jared Reed, 21, is “J-MoneyMoney reviews“, Fox’s best friend.

Olivia Jackson, 20, was that girl. You know the girl. The one who thought that when Fox said he loved her that he meant it, the girl who had planned to name a boy child after his father. She was that girl who had Fox in her Myspace Top Friends and left comments teasing him for not calling. Fox’s Myspace had Olivia somewhere in the bottom of his friends list, and said he wanted children “Someday”.

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