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SANFORD, Fla. — Justin Collison, son of a Sanford police officer, sucker punched a homeless guy in the back of the head last month and it looked as if he was about to get away with it, even though the entire event had been captured on video. That is until that video found its way online and people wanted to know why this idiot had not been arrested. This pressure lead aggravated battery charges being filed last week and to Collison turning himself in this morning. But he’s not the only one who is paying for his douchebaggery. In full damage control mode, Sanford City Manager Thomas J. George has relieved Sanford Police Chief Brian F. Tooley of his duties. Four other officers are also being investigated for not arresting Collison after responding to the Dec 4 incident. If that wasn’t enough shit to deal with, the NAACP is now involved, calling the act a hate crime because the victim, Sherman Ware, is black. I seriously doubt that it was; seeming to me Collison was just being a drunken buffoon who took a cheap shot at the first person he could.…

Henderson, NV — Police say 33-year-old Edward Colucci didn’t just try to break his girlfriend’s two young sons physically, he also tried to break them emotionally. Colucci was arrested late last month, charged with child abuse, assault and kidnapping, after paramedics and police officers found his girlfriend’s 4-year-old son unconscious in the couple’s apartment. The child was suffering from severe malnutrition – so severe his hair was falling out. Dispatchers say that when the boys’ mother called 911 on November 23, she could be heard telling Colucci, “you went too far.” And she wasn’t fucking kidding. According to police, over the course of a few months, Colucci allowed the boy to eat nothing but dry ramen noodles, garlic cloves and onions. He reportedly spit in the child’s water. When the child’s mother made eye contact with the boy, Colucci reportedly viewed it as showing “too much affection” and punished the kid by punching or kicking him. Police say Colucci bit the boy’s nose, sprayed glass cleaner in his eyes and forced him to eat his own vomit.…

SANFORD, Fla. — Ok, last one from me today as I go back to being as unproductive as possible. It’s another one from Florida, where people are questioning why a police lieutenant’s son was never arrested or charged for sucker punching the ever-living shit out of a homeless person, even though the entire event was captured on video. Normally I don’t like describing what you will see anyway, but for those of you who are unable to see the following video, it shows a homeless man, Sherman Ware, trying to break up a fight outside of a bar when Justin Collison, the cop’s son, walks up behind him and punches him in the back of the head. Really hard. Sherman’s face slams a pole then he falls unconscious to the sidewalk. Collison then proceeds to walk around yelling like a douchebag before attacking another patron. Witnesses, including Justin’s own friends, aren’t too happy with Justin’s antics and begin yelling at him for puss punching people for absolutely no reason. But that was on Dec 4, and as of right now, Justin has not been charged or arrested for his unprovoked assault against Sherman.…

BOISE, IDAHO — A 68-year-old passenger on a Southwest flight from Las Vegas was arrested when his plane landed in Boise after police say he punched a teenage passenger. According to reports, the 15-year-old was flying alone and was playing games and listening to music on his iPhone when the announcement was made to turn off all electronic devices. Either not hearing the announcement, or not caring, the teen kept on using his iPhone as the plane began its landing. This really aggravated Russell Miller who feared the electronic device usage was a threat to his safety so he reportedly got the teen’s attention by punching him in the arm hard enough to leave a mark and ultimately garner him one count of misdemeanor battery. As the proud parent of a teenager who spends the majority of his time with his head down texting with his Skull Candy Earbuds firmly implanted in his ears, I can almost sympathize with the guy. Almost. It really all depends on if the teen was intentionally ignoring the requests of the crew, or simply didn’t hear them and if Miller truly thought that the use of the iPhone would cause the plane to nosedive into the runway.…

HARTFORD, CT —Police arrested 19-year-old Francheska Terrero after responding to a 911 call early Christmas Eve where a woman told police their daughter was assaulting her father with a Christmas tree. When police arrived at the home they found a very drunk, very belligerent Terrero at the scene along with a Christmas tree on its side with broken ornaments scattered around the room. The teen’s mother told police that Terrero had even taken the cell phone she used to call 911 out of her hand and threw that at her father as well. Terrero was arrested, facing charges of assault, disorderly conduct, and interfering with a 911 call. Her parents received some minor injuries at the hands of their drunken daughter. To be completely honest, the only only reason why I am even wasted any time with this dumbass story is because I like posting about drunk teenage girls and the fact that Terrero is sporting about five different hairstyles at one time.…

Fort Myers, FL — Ting Ting Perng’s husband called Fort Myers police early Monday morning claiming the crazy bitch tried to set him on fire.

According to police, Ting Ting and her man were arguing that morning when she allegedly doused him with water and NyQuil and flicked her Bic. She then attempted to set the bed on fire before running for the kitchen.

The man told police he overheard Ting Ting threatening to set the Christmas tree on fire and was trying to beat feet out of the house when Ting Ting appeared before him with a kitchen knife – he ended up beating feet back upstairs and into the bedroom.

When deputies arrived at the couple’s apartment, they noted the spilled NyQuil and scorch marks on the bed. The boyfriend was reportedly “drenched in cough medicine and water and had large scratches running across his chest.”

Ting Ting told police she acted in self-defense after the man tried to choke her, but deputies could find no evidence to back up her claim.…

Bradenton, FL –– Sean Thomas, a 30-year-old ex-convict, is right back where he belongs after allegedly torturing his girlfriend with his very own “lie-detector test.” According to the victim, back on December 1, she was retrieving some of her belongings from Thomas’ garage when he punched her in the head and tied her to a weight bench with rope and extension cords. Thomas reportedly told the woman he was going to administer a lie-detector test to find out whether or not she’d been cheating on him. The woman says he stuffed a rag in her mouth and got busy. He first extinguished not one, not two, but three cigars on the woman’s left hand. Thomas then left the garage momentarily and came back with a pot of boiling water, which he poured over the woman’s feet, burning off layers of skin. The woman says he then took a hot iron and burned her stomach three times. And to top it all off? A rapin’. When all was said and done, Thomas reportedly told the woman that, “all this happened because he loves her.” Because chocolate is soooo overrated…

Thomas called paramedics and the woman was transported to the hospital where she told medical personnel that she had been injured in a cooking accident.…

Milwaukee, WI — A day care worker may be facing criminal charges after a 3-year-old boy beat the snot out of a toddler crawling on the floor. Rosetta Strong. the owner of Kidology Day Care in Milwaukee, had installed surveillance cameras after a recent break-in but what they ended up capturing was a 3-year-old boy attacking an 11-month-old girl. The video reportedly show the boy attacking the girl as she crawled on the floor. He beats her, punches her in the back and bites her hard enough to draw blood. But the one thing the video does not show is the day care worker in charge of the more than a half dozen children in the home at the time of the attack. Now this worker may be facing a neglect charge for each of them. The worker failed to show up at the district attorney’s office and Strong has voluntarily closed the day care. The mother of the baby girl told reporters she is not ready to talk at the moment, but that the baby is recovering after having been released from the emergency room.…

SEATTLE — Security cameras capture five teen girls attacking a pregnant teen and her boyfriend on a crowded Seattle bus. Moments after Jessica and her boyfriend entered bus 358 on November 19, A 19-year-old woman, three 16-year-old girls and a 14-year-old girl got on the bus via the rear doors. In less than a minute after boarding, one of the girls grabs the Zune Jessica and her boyfriend were listening to. When the couple confront them, they are met with a flurry of punches and kicks. As they are being pummeled, three of the girls start stealing items out of their pockets. The bus driver finally stops the bus and calls police, and the five girls get off the bus. Jessica is taken tot he hospital where she receives six stitches over her eye. She says she did not know the girls, but her boyfriend had met one of them at a party last year and that woman had accused him of stealing her phone. The 19-year-old was charged with assault while the other four girls were charged with second degree robbery.…

Fort Lauderdale, FL — The teary tart to the left is 38-year-old Berlinda Dixon-Newbold. She’s been arrested and charged with aggravated assault with intent to commit a felony after police say she set her boyfriend’s crotch on fire as he slept.

The boyfriend, Sheldon Gonzales, told police he was sleeping on the couch Tuesday evening when he was suddenly and rudely awakened by a “burning sensation in the crotch of his pants.”

He looked up to see Berlinda standing over him, cigarette lighter in hand. Gonzales quickly put two and two together and realized the bottom of his shirt, which was resting on his jewels, was in flames. Fortunately, he was able to put the small fire out with his hands before his junk was bbq’d.

He grabbed his keys and tried to blaze, but Berlinda confronted him at the front door and a “heated verbal argument” followed…heated enough that it caught the attention of a neighbor who then called police. Berlinda is being held on $6,500 bond. The extent of Sheldon’s injuries, if any, is unknown.…

Las Cruces, NM — Police are searching for an unidentified 44-year-old woman who they say ripped her daughter-in-law’s nipple off during a drunken argument early Sunday morning. According to the 30-year-old victim, she, her husband, his mother and one of her husband’s friends had spent a good part of Saturday evening getting plastered. At some point after 3:00 a.m., mother and son started bickering. The victim, acting as a mediator, placed herself in between the two buzzkills as the argument intensified. And for her efforts, she was rewarded with the sickest, most twistiest titty-twister EVAR. The woman told police her mother-in-law grabbed her right breast and began to squeeze and pull on her nipple, releasing the bud only after the victim began punching her in the face. The struggle between the two women continued as the victim attempted to remove the older woman and her belongings from her apartment. At some point after the tussle, the victim felt fluid on her chest and noticed blood on her shirt. She told police that when she untucked her tank top, her nipple fell on the floor.…

Hutchinson, KS — Police say an intoxicated 25-year-old Kevin Funderburk sweet-talked his way into the home of a 71-year-old woman over the weekend under the guise that he was homeless and had nowhere else to go. He told the woman he was drunk and didn’t want any trouble with police. Once the woman opened her home to him, he reportedly attacked – holding the woman down and trying to rape her. The woman wasn’t about to let dude have his way with her. The spunky grandma managed to get her hands on a frying pan and proceeded to beat the snot out of the rapey shitstain. “She was fighting for her life,” said detective Sgt. John Moore. “She beat him down with a frying pan.” Officials say the woman was injured at some point during the struggle, but the extent of said injuries hasn’t been reported. In spite of her injuries, grandma knocked him the fuck out! When police responded to the woman’s home early Saturday morning, they found Funderburk unconscious in a puddle of his own vomit.…

DAYTON, Ohio — A police car’s dash cam caught an officer being attacked by the person he pulled over, as well a Good Samaritan who jumped into the fray to give him a hand. Last Saturday night, Dayton Police Officer Jonathan Seiter stopped a car because of a missing headlight. When the driver, Otto Coleman, was asked to step out of his vehicle he became physically combative and turned out to be quite scrappy for a 64-year-old. During the fight, Coleman can be seen reaching for Officer Seiter’s gun and Taser on his belt and occasionally getting the upper-hand on Seiter. The officer calls for backup and receives it in the form of a woman, who police have not identified, who ran up and started hitting Coleman in the head, allowing Seiter to place some pretty solid shots to Coleman’s face. A fellow police officer arrives and Coleman is finally taken to the ground. Turns out Coleman has quite the criminal history including charges of felonious assault with intent to murder, felonious assault with intent to maim, three counts of felonious assault, two which were against a police officer.…

VIDEO: Shovel Assault

December 14, 2010 at 1:46 pm by  

I really have no information on this video aside from the fact that I watched it at least ten times now. It’s like a cross between an assault, WWE, and a Tom & Jerry cartoon.

How about that awkward silence at the end?…

Germany — I rarely have time to post foreign crimes as I like to focus on the ones in the US first — and God knows there is no shortage — but there was no way I could let this one pass by. A German father has been arrested and charged with castrating the man dating his teenage daughter. Helmut Seifert, 47, was not real happy when he found out that his 17-year-old daughter was dating 57-year-old Phillip Genscher. So he went to Genscher’s home and with the help of two of his co-workers, forced Genscher to take off his pants and then removed his manjigglies with the aid of a bread knife. “Genscher was fully conscious,” the London’s Telegraph reports. “The severed testicles were taken away by the perpetrator.” Before Genscher bled to death, he was able to make it to a phone and call for help. He will survive, although permanently left the equivalent of a married man. Seifert is to go on trial for attempted murder next year and has not revealed the identity of the men who helped him.…

Port Saint Lucie, FL — We’ve all been there before; shopping somewhere in the vicinity of a child with a noisy toy whose caretaker have obviously grown immune to the grating sounds it emits, evident by them letting the kid continually use it. God knows it has taken all I have not to grab the offending noisemaker and shove it down the throat of the person ultimately responsible. But I don’t. Not because of any real moral restraint but rather not wanting to end up in the papers or on my own site like 33-year-old Jeanette Ramirez. She was charged with misdemeanor battery after an altercation with a  fellow Walmart shopper who was babysitting a 2-year-old. The toddler was playing with a Spiderman handlebar bike horn and it was aggravating Ramirez to the point that she said something to the 47-year-old victim. “Words were exchanged between both women, at which time Jeanette Ramirez physically attacked (the victim),” the affidavit states. After the assault, the victim followed Ramirez out into the parking lot and used her shopping cart to keep her there until police arrived and arrested her.…

FRESNO, CA — I learned from John Bender that all you need to be a high school wrestler was a lobotomy and some tights, but I didn’t realize just how far into the realm of homosexuality a wrestler must be willing to travel. Seems there is a legal move in wrestling called the “butt drag.” This move consists of one wrestler putting his hands in the crack of another wrestler’s ass to position him. It is often taken a step further with a wrestler sometimes checking what his opponent had for dinner by shoving his fingers up his asshole. One teen, 17-year-old Preston Hill, used the butt drag on a 15-year-old during wrestling practice and is in now in court this week answering to sexual battery charges. The victim’s father says his son was penetrated for 30 seconds by Hill, causing some minor damage. “This kid basically targeted my son, pinned him to the ground and assaulted him,” he said. The 15-year-old also claims Hill made a threatening gesture at him before the match, a claim Hill denies.…

Roseville, CA — David Almas, 21, is recovering from second-degree burns to his face, ear and neck after being assaulted Friday evening with a small serving of hot creamed spinach. Police believe Almas, a Boston Market employee, was the victim of a prank known as “fire in the hole.” It goes a little something like this: You take 3 or 4 bored assholes and place ’em in a vehicle. Said assholes order some sort of food or beverage from a fast-food joint. When served their order, assholes film themselves throwing food or drinks into the face of whatever poor sap drew the short straw and had to work drive-thru that day. After that, it’s all about the 15 minutes of YouTube fame, baby! Almas was working the drive-thru on Friday at about 9:00 p.m., when a group of teens placed an order for a small serving of creamed spinach. Once handed through the window, the spinach, heated to an estimated 180 degrees, was promptly thrown back in Almas’ face, causing serious burns.…