Flagler County, FL – Deputies had a difficult time pulling over 74-year old Elizabeth Millonig last Wednesday after they clocked her going 40 mph in a 30 mph zone. When a motorcycle officer first attempted to pull the speeding senior over and told her it was for speeding, Millonig yelled at the officer and then drove away. The motorcycle officer had to catch up with Millonig two more times before he finally stopped her. This time, the officer reached into Millonig’s vehicle to prevent her from driving off again. When the officer did this, Millonig struck his arm with her fist. After the officer was able to get Millonig out of her vehicle, she attempted to stab him with her car keys. Another deputy arrived on the scene to assist. When the officers placed Millonig in handcuffs, she tried to kick one of the deputies in the groin. The grumbling granny continued to kick at them as she was being placed in the back of a patrol car. Elizabeth Millonig was charged with fleeing and eluding a police officer, resisting arrest with violence, and battery on a law enforcement officer.…Continue Reading
Alexandria, LA – Just like the old saying, ‘You get what you pay for,’ two men in Alexandria recently learned it might be a good idea to thoroughly check the merchandise next time before making a purchase. Last Wednesday morning, 21-year old Jeffery Ray Allen and 25-year old Troherro Keith Batiste became upset when they discovered the woman who had just performed oral sex on both of them was not really a woman, but a man dressed as a woman. Unhappy that their future reputations might be considered as being on the down low, Allen and Batiste caught up with the crooked cross-dresser walking home later that morning and fired shots at the she-male as they drove by. The tricky transvestite, who was not injured, called police and officers found two spent shell casings from a .22-caliber handgun on the road where the incident occurred. Another officer stopped a van matching the victim’s description and the victim identified the van’s driver, Allen, and passenger, Batiste, as the shooting suspects.…Continue Reading
Immokalee, FL - I hate spending my hard-earned cash on something and winding up feeling like I didn’t get my money’s worth, especially with the current state of the economy and fears about what the future holds. I imagine about everyone shares my feelings on this, but you know, it has to be that much worse in those instances when your outlay of funds is directed toward illicit goods and services. For example, if your regular dealer is unavailable and the herb you procure from an alternate vendor is substandard, you’re pretty much shit out of luck. Thursday night, Jose Erebia probably was wanting the number to whatever might pass for the Better Unlawful Business Bureau. This is when he entered an Immokalee home through an unlocked door and made his way to the bedroom, where the homeowner’s niece, who was housesitting, lay asleep. He wakened her and then proceeded to throw a $20 bill at her and demand sex. It’s bad enough that she said, “No way, Jose!” and insisted he leave, but she also snatched up the twenty and wouldn’t give it back.…Continue Reading
Aberdeen, UK - Last November, a woman called police to complain that her boyfriend was shit-faced and she wanted him removed from her home. When officers arrived, they found 28-year-old Marium Varinauskas sitting on the couch in his underwear. A female officer, perhaps trying to calm the drunken fool and convince him to leave without a fight, took a seat near Marium on the couch. (Cue hysterical Jaded snortgiggling in 3…2…) Marium then stood up over the officer, whipped out his junk and thrust it in the officer’s face, trying to thunk her in the head with it. The officer was forced to take evasive action and just barely managed to avoid being cock slapped. Marium and his wee willy were promptly taken out the door and straight to jail. He was was due to go on trial for assault, but changed his plea to guilty on Tuesday. The court accepted his plea and has fined him £600, which, and spork me if I’m wrong, amounts to about $900 and some change.…Continue Reading
ST. PAUL, Minn. – A 33-year-old man was at a diner with friends around 4 am. Sunday at the same time as 30-year-old Susan Mukuhi Mwarabu’s and her friends. At some point the man made a comment regarding one of the women with Mwarabu and ended up losing some of his ear as a result. After making the comment, a drunk Mwarabu confronted him, licked his ear and then bit part of it off. Mwarabu, a 6th grade teacher at Northfield Middle School, was arrested and charged with assault. The man was treated at the hospital and told that some of the missing ear will grow back on its own. Mwarabu’s employer was unaware of the arrest until a reporter called them for a comment. Northfield Superintendent L. Chris Richardson told the St. Paul Pioneer Press school officials will have to learn more about the case before taking action. Check out the larger mugshot after the jump. Her eyes are redder than two freshly fucked assholes.…Continue Reading
Lehigh, FL - I just love family get-togethers. Food, bite wounds, conversation, alcohol, swords, assault, Scrabble. What’s not to love? Tanya Jackson hosted a party for her family on Sunday. After an unknown amount of alcohol was consumed, Tanya passed out on the living room floor. When her daughters attempted to rouse her from her drunken slumber, Tanya got pissy. After a verbal altercation, she grabbed a sword and chased her daughters out of the house. Once outside, Tanya dropped the sword and one of her kiddos promptly picked it up and hid it in the woods. When the kid returned from hiding the weapon, she discovered she had been locked out of the house. Though she was eventually allowed back in, it wasn’t long before her mother started in with another argument. At some point in the second fight, Tanya latched onto her daughter’s hand with her teeth and bit hard enough to remove a chunk of skin. The teen girl was taken to the hospital and mom was taken to jail.…Continue Reading
Columbus, Ohio – I so tried to get this story up on Friday, but shit just didn’t work out that way. But man, oh man, just when you think you have heard it all on this site you come across a story about an elderly man punching random kids at a Wal-mart.
Sixty-eight-year-old Ralph Conone was arrested at a Columbus Walmart Wednesday after a mother busted him popping her kid in the back of the head when she wasn’t looking. After her crying son told her what Conone had done, she followed him outside and brought him back into the store.
Police were called, surveillance footage reviewed, and sure enough, Conone could be seen punching multiple kids in the back of the head when their guardians were not looking. To make matters worse, he would punch them with keys protruding between his fingers.
Conone finally admitted to his actions and told investigators he had been doing this since January. The reason? It got him excited. “He stated that he does this because of the excitement of being able to do it and get away with it with the parents right there,” said Sgt.…Continue Reading
Federal Way, WA- Sean Patrick Madigan, 27, is a 6′ 3″, 230-pound self-described body builder who likes to be called Big Puppy, but, after reading the charges against him, I believe the name Big Pussy is way more fitting. Madigan was charged with child abuse this last Friday for allegedly hitting his 4-year old step-daughter so hard she suffered life-threatening internal bleeding. Authorities believe Madigan kicked or punched the child in the stomach and then delayed seeking the medical treatment that saved her life. The abuse is alleged to have occurred since November of last year. Police and CPS started an investigation after a medical provider in Auburn contacted authorities noticing extensive bruises on the girl, but they were unable to fully interview the child or her mother out of Madigan’s presence. Madigan was arrested on Tuesday after his wife left him and contacted police informing them of Madigan’s repeated abuse to the girl, which police noted was malnourished and dehydrated.…Continue Reading
Milwaukee – Four months ago, Ray Calderone ended up in handcuffs in the back of a Milwaukee police car. While in the back, Calderone alerted police officers that he needed to use the bathroom by tapping on the inside of the back window with his foot. Former deputy Scott Krause is seen on video opening the door and yelling at Calderone to stop kicking the window and then shuts the door. Calderone does not heed the warning and begins tapping the window with his foot again. This time Krause opens the door, and pops the handcuffed Calderone a few times in the face before shutting the door. Krause is now headed to prison. Check out the video – you can almost see the old batman television show sound effects pop up every time Krause lands a punch.…Continue Reading
Ocala, FL- On Monday a 29-year old woman and her 20-year old boyfriend, Ryan Hunt, took their 3-month old daughter to the Munroe Regional Medical Center because of swelling in the child’s hip area. During an examination of the child’s body significantly bruised body, the doctors discovered she suffered from an an old fracture on her left hip which they believed may have occurred when the limbs were twisted. The child also had three fractured ribs that appeared to be about four to six weeks old. The police were notified as well as an agent from the Department of Children and Families who took custody of the child at the hospital. The child’s mother told officers that Hunt had beat her many times in the past, but she never reported it. She showed the officers bruises on her chest and arms, and finger marks on her neck which she said were from Hunt hitting and attempting to choke her the previous Friday. The couple was taken to the Ocala Police Department for questioning and there the woman told officials she saw Hunt grab their daughter with his hands while they argued.…Continue Reading
DeLand, Fl - I have a long list of things I despise in this world and spousal abuse is very close to the top. Having to deal with it personally, I learned it is not only aggravating to witness, but even more frustrating to watch the abused return to their abuser time and time again even though they know it is not the best thing for them. Let’s hope this will not be the case for Lenora Shorts and she will use this tragic occurrence as reminder that those who really love you do not beat you. Around 12:08 a.m. Saturday police responded to a suspicious incident call where they found a half-naked woman unresponsive inside and abandoned car. The topless woman was lying on her back with her legs dangling out of the open passenger side door. When the officers spoke to her, she mumbled that her husband had punched and kicked her all over and pointed in the direction he ran. The woman, 46-year old Lenora Shorts, was airlifted to Halifax Health Medical Center in critical condition.…Continue Reading
Detroit, Michigan – Hekmat Putruss has been in business for over 25 years and he has never experienced anything like the incident that happened in his bridal shop recently. A day after a bride-to-be became unruly over a bridal dress in his bridal shop, The First Lady Prom and Bridal, the same woman returned to the store wanting alterations done on her dress. Putruss refused her request and told her to leave the store. The woman responded to this by informing them that she was going to get her husband to come in and kill all of them. Not taking any chances, Putress locked the store. A a surveillance camera captured what happened next after someone opens the door and the woman enters accompanied by three men. They confront the owner in front of customers and a shoving match commences. This leads to an all out brawl and $20,000 worth of damage done to the store. Putruss was tackled to the ground, his wife was spit at and slapped in the face while his son was also attacked.…Continue Reading
Owensboro, KY - The lovely lady you see to the left is 31-year-old Toni Tramel. She was recently arrested and hauled into jail for being shit-faced in public, a misdemeanor. That’s not what landed her on the front page of the Dreamin’ Demon though – she earned her spot here because of the antics she pulled while being booked. According to the inmate incident report, Toni was too intoxicated to shimmy into her jail issued monkey suit without assistance, so Officer Lula Brown was in the shower room with her to lend a hand. After she was ordered to remove her shirt and bra, Toni allegedly grabbed a handful of tit, aimed, and fired a stream of freshly squeezed breast milk right to Brown’s face. Her attempt at a second shot was foiled, however, when another deputy entered the room and promptly placed a smock over the offending jugs. Officer Brown, sporting a milk mustache, successfully underwent a bio-hazard decontamination and *insert massive eye-roll* is expected to fully recover. I think the whole decontamination thing was just a wee bit over the top, expressed human breast milk is not a bio-hazard.…Continue Reading
Chicago - Either Dennis Rushing, 38, dislikes being treated by a doctors or he was just born an asshole. I’m betting on the latter. Around 8:45 p.m. Sunday night Rushing went to the ER to be treated for an undisclosed ailment. While a doctor was attending to him, Rushing began to cough and spit in the doctor’s face. The doctor left Rushing to clean himself up and then returned with a surgical mask for Rushing to wear. Rushing became enraged and started punching the doctor in the face and knocking him to the ground. Security was called and they detained Rushing until police arrived. After a search police found .32-caliber bullets in Rushing’s pocket, but no gun. Rushing was charged with aggravated battery of first aid personnel and also with having the ammunition. The doctor sustained scratches, bruising and a loose tooth.…Continue Reading
Springfield, OH – Demonites, let’s say you meet someone you are really into. That someone is perfect for you in every way – except one – he/she has a tattoo on his/her ass that you just can’t fucking stand to look at. Do you: a) Stop looking at it. b) Offer to pay to have the offensive thing removed. c) Threaten to slice it off with a meat cleaver. Decisions, decisions. According to authorities, Michael Welliver chose ‘c‘. It is alleged that on February 19th, Michael and his girlfriend got into an argument about the tat she had on her ass. Michael told her he didn’t like it and she should have it removed. He then grabbed a meat cleaver from underneath his bed and gave the girl an ultimatum: let him remove the tattoo with the cleaver or let him carve something into her chest. The victim said that Michael then sat on her, used a blue pocket knife with a razor blade on the end and carved “I Luv Mike Welliver” on the upper part of her breast.…Continue Reading
Hyannis, MA – Most people have a vision for their marriage and honeymoon. They spend months upon months planning for the big day. They have flowers, photographers, and a long flowing train. After the nuptials, they are whisked away in a limousine to the Bahamas for a week of sun, sex, and crappy daiquiris with the little umbrellas sticking out of them. Well, a young lady by the name of Ann Putignano-Keene had the same idea, but she put her own white trash spin on it. It seems after the big wedding at town hall, the 22 year old and her new 37 year old husband, Timothy Keene, decided to split a bottle of the finest bubbly they could find. (My sources tell me that Tito’s Booze N Go was out of Mad Dog 20/20). After getting crunk up celebrating their new marriage, it was off on their honeymoon. Bahamas? Caribbean? Ooooooh, how about Tahiti? Nope. How about – to the parking lot to run over her new hubby’s old hookup.…Continue Reading
PURCELL, Okla. – A 13-year-old girl was not real happy with Tina Swayze, the principal of Purcell Intermediate School, after she suspended her on Feb 18th. The girl demonstrated this by grabbing Swayze by the neck and choking her. By time teacher Deann Newman came in to help, the girl was slamming Swayze’s head into a door frame. Not pleased with Newman’s interruption, the girl opened a can of kickass on her as well by ripping her necklace from her throat, slapping, punching and kicking her. After being restrained by the two women, she eventually calmed down enough for them to let her up but “psych!” – the girl immediately began her assault again, pulling their hair and trying to bite them. It took a total of five employees to restrain the girl, who now faces charges of assault and battery on a school employee. She was ordered to to lock-down in a juvenile facility.…Continue Reading
Hawthorne, CA - Last Wednesday afternoon, Danielle Graham’s boyfriend, Hakeem Funtua, asked her if she would keep an eye on his pit bull puppy, Gucci, while he attended to some family matters. For some reason, that request totally pissed her off. After arguing with the boyfriend for a bit, Danielle grabbed the pup by her collar, said “Fuck this dog,” dragged her into the street and tossed her into oncoming traffic. Gucci, 3-months-old, landed on a passing car and rolled underneath before being ran over. She didn’t survive Danielle’s bitch fit. And wouldn’t you know it, a couple of Hawthorne police officers witnessed the entire event. When the officers attempted to arrest Danielle, the nutty bitch put up a fight. While she was struggling with officers, Hakeem decided to jump into the brawl to rescue his damsel in distress. After a dose or three of pepper spray and the arrival of back-up officers, both Danielle and Hakeem were cuffed and hauled off. On Friday, Danielle, 21, pleaded not guilty to charges of animal cruelty and battery with injury on a peace office.…Continue Reading
Crestview, FL - Some people *coughmecough* tend to get diarrhea of the mouth when inebriated. It was just a couple months ago that I got slightly shit-faced and started running my mouth in the wrong company – I said some shit that was better left unsaid and I have yet to live it down. But unlike Brandie Gilley, the shit I let slip didn’t land my booty in the hoosegow. According to the arrest report, on or around December 11th, Brandie, 22, entered the bedroom of a sleeping 15-year-old boy. She allegedly pulled the boys boxers down and performed oral sex on him before finishing him off with intercourse. When the dirty deed was over, Brandie told the boy not to mention it to anyone because they would both get in trouble. Well, the kid didn’t say squat. Brandie, however, got a little loose-lipped with the kid’s mom some time later. While intoxicated, Brandie told the boy’s mother what went down in the boy’s room that night in December.…Continue Reading
Memphis, Tennessee – We just had a story about a mother showing up at school and causing havoc, now we have another. Toni Price, 32, was not happy when she learned that her daughter had a spitting fight with another 2nd-grader at Riverview Elementary School. So she did what any responsible parent does in that situation and called the school to see if she could arrange some sort of sit down with school officials and the other kid’s parents. Yeah, right. Not on this site. What Price actually did was to drink a 40 ounce bottle of Colt 45 and then show up at the school with a sword. A school staff member ended up reporting that a drunk woman was armed with a sword and running through the halls of the school. She also added that Price threatened to cut her. Police showed up shortly after and retrieved a cane with a long, hidden blade. They charged Price with aggravated assault and having a weapon on school property. Her mother said she did not think that her daughter was there to hurt anyone, and that the weapon was one she used to fend of pit bulls in the neighborhood.…Continue Reading