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Dunnellon, FL – Abraham McDonald was arrested Thursday, charged with charged with battery on a person over the age of 65, after police say he poured gasoline on his 73-year-old grandfather and threatened to set him on fire.

And what did grandpa do to deserve such treatment, you ask? Grandpa reportedly denied Abraham the satisfaction of lighting a pile of sticks on fire in his backyard.

According to grandpa, Abraham was “out of control” that day, throwing rocks and sticks around the yard. Abraham reportedly collected a pile of sticks and doused ‘em with gasoline in the hopes of setting the pile on fire. Grandpa told him no, so Abraham allegedly poured gasoline on him and threatened to set him on fire. Abraham later claimed it was an accident – grandpa simply got in the way while he was pouring the gasoline over the sticks.

With all this talk of rocks and sticks and fire, one would think we were talking about a 7-year-old in dire need of an ass-whooping, but Abraham is actually 27.…

Bridgeport, CT — What time is it when trash from a school bus window lands on your car? It’s time to kick some student butt! At least, that is what police allege 29-year-old Daisha Womack decided.

The fact that Womack was driving behind a We Transport school bus and that some students were throwing things from the bus windows onto Womack’s car is not disputed, says Tim Quinn, Bridgeport Police Department public safety information officer.

Womack also readily admits that, at one of the bus’ scheduled stops, she got out of her car and entered the bus. When she reached the rear of the bus, the police report states that she found one of the girls who was tossing the trash ducking under a seat.

This is where it starts to get fuzzy…

Womack claims that, at this point, she started to yell at the girl under the seat. She says that she was then hit from behind by another girl and jumped by several students.

According to Quinn, officers interviewed the bus driver and several of the students.…

Georgetown, GA — Charlie Sheen surprised the audience at Jimmy Kimmel Live when he showed up at the talk show a couple weeks ago and planted a big kiss on Kimmel’s lips.

A replay of the clip showing Charlie Sheen kissing Jimmy Kimmel aired in a Quitman County home around midnight on the 24th, and according to his girlfriend, David O’Hara, 47, did not react mildly.

“We were getting ready to get in bed and going through the TV stations. I saw that and said, ‘Oh look at that man, how he’s kissing that man. He’s kissing that man like he’s kissing a woman.’ And he just snapped. He said, ‘I don’t want to see that [expletive]. I’m not a [expletive] gay man.'” she said.

As the fighting escalated, a group of friends heard the screams and went to check on the couple. Police say that’s when O’Hara got a gun and put it to the back of his girlfriend’s head (because a gay man wouldn’t do that!). He then reportedly pointed the gun at a 14-year-old boy in the group of friends (because a gay man wouldn’t do that, either!).…

MEMPHIS, TN – First off, a thank you to Jaded for alerting me to one of the biggest idiots I’ve read about in awhile. The idiot I’m speaking of is 21-year-old Jackson Martin, a McDonald’s manager who was caught on camera beating the snot out of one of his employees.

The video captures teenage employee, 17-year-old Jerelle Gray, reaching for some food and Martin snatching the food out of his hands. When Gray grabs it again and starts to walk away, Martin can be seen putting Gray into a headlock and start pummeling his face. Gray never throws a punch and was left with cuts, contusions and a broken nose. Martin would plead guilty to aggravated assault.

The fight started because Martin asked Gray to work longer than scheduled, unaware that Gray had just worked an over-night shift as a favor to another manager who had also promised Gray a free meal for doing so. Martin, who had never worked with Gray before and was unaware of this arrangement, told Gray he would be fired if he left.…

Palm Harbor, FL — New details are being released concerning the stabbing of a school resource officer earlier this week. And between law enforcement and the kid’s family, there are just two details both parties agree on – the fact that Officer Fridlund was stabbed, and the kid’s name.

13-year-old Kenny Stoltman‘s family seems to think the whole stabbing thing was unintentional. “He [Kenny] said the officer basically got stabbed when the officer grabbed him and pulled him to him,” said his grandmother, Chris Mathews, who has custody of the boy. Kenny reportedly told his grandmother he had the open knife in his hand, but had no intentions of using it on the officer…it just happened. While the first stab may have been explained away as an accident, no one seems to have an explanation for the additional two pokes.

Mathews went on to say that the only thing Kenny could think about after being taken to the floor and Maced was Fridlund’s well-being. “He said, ‘Please make sure he’s okay.…

Miami, FL — When 26-year-old Gerdine Edouard’s 11-year-old daughter was involved in an altercation with another child at school last month, Gerdine figured she’d drag her happy ass over to the school and have a sit-down with school administrators. When she arrived at the school and saw the child that whooped her kid’s butt, she came up with a brilliant new plan.

Police say Gerdine approached the child and demanded a rematch for her daughter. She forced her child to fight, and when it appeared as if the other girl had the upper hand, again, Gerdine reportedly jumped into the mix and smacked the other girl in the back of the neck a couple of times.

“She kept accusing me of stuff,” said the 11-year-old victim. “She put her two hands in my face and was like, ‘Why did you jump on my daughter the other day?’ Then her mom jumped in and hit me two times on the back of my neck.”

The genius now faces a charge of battery for hitting the other child, and two counts of child abuse for her influencing her daughter to fight.…

Albion, WA – 54-year-old Nathaniel Simon is in custody on $500,000 bond after police say he strangled and beat his 46-year-old girlfriend, carved the words, “Do not resuscitate” on her chest and kept her locked in a trailer for three days.

The woman told police it all started on Friday when Simon punched her in the chest, dragged her through the trailer and choked/smothered her into unconsciousness. When she came to, she said, her shirt was covered in blood and Simon’s message was visible on her skin. Over the course of the next three days, Simon allegedly pummeled her some more, threatening to kill her and himself if she went to the police.

When she was finally able to leave the trailer, the woman told her family of the incident and they informed law enforcement. Fortunately, the woman’s injuries weren’t life threatening…she was treated at the hospital and released.

Simon is being held on charges of assault, making death threats and unlawful imprisonment.

Chicago, Illinois — A homeless convict was ordered held without bail Tuesday for allegedly beating and sodomizing another man with a tree branch in Grant Park. Police say doctors had to remove the tree branch, 7″ long, 1/2″ in diameter, from the victim’s rectum.

Records from a cell phone stolen from the victim led police to Cortez Foster, a 45-year-old parolee, after the person he sold the phone to revealed his identity. Foster was arrested Sunday at the Pacific Garden Mission.

The 65-year-old victim was found by a passerby around midnight on Saturday. He was only wearing a sock and a shirt when he was found. The man couldn’t speak and was bleeding from his head, mouth and nose. He had to be fingerprinted in order for detectives to identify him.

Foster admitted to police that he became angry and began punching the man in the head and face. Police say he also admitted the blood on his clothes was from the victim and that he had “used” the tree branch.…

Fort Myers, Florida — Authorities say a 17-year-old girl high school honor student pointed a gun at her mother, pistol-whipped her and forced her at gunpoint to drive to a dealership to buy her a used car.

The Lee County Sheriff’s office said Monday that Rachel Anne Hachero faces charges of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill, unlawful possession of a firearm by a person younger than 18 and battery.

Hachero is a student at the exclusive Canterbury School in Fort Myers and a member of the school’s Model United Nations team. She ran in the Mountain Dew University of Florida Invitational, and placed 9th in the 2009 Fort Myers Komen Race for the Cure in the 12- to 15-year-old category. She’s also been accepted into several Ivy League schools on scholarships. Not exactly the type of teenager one would expect to read about on the Dreamin’ Demon.

According to the arrest report, it all started Thursday evening when Hachero called her mother and asked her to co-sign for a car.…

OKLAHOMA CITY, OK — Police have arrested a woman for allegedly assaulting a convenience store worker after becoming upset over the price of a pack of Newports.

According to police, 24-year-old Courtney Smith, 20-year-old Dondea Logan, and an unidentified juvenile walked into the Goodies convenience store last week to purchase a pack of Newports. When Smith learned the price would be $6.25, she allegedly stated “That’s too much (expletive) money!” When the clerk informed her she was welcome to buy the cigarettes at another store, Smith grabbed items from the counter and threw them on the ground.

When the clerk followed the trio outside to write down their license plate number, all three of them began beating on the woman. The clerk told police they punched and kicked her while she was on the ground before getting in their vehicle and leaving. She suffered knots to her head, but otherwise she was not seriously injured.

Police would find Smith and company later and while searching the car they would locate a loaded gun that was reported stolen.…

ELYRIA, Ohio — Here’s a mother-daughter duo who fit right in with the Walmart stereotypes.  Police say a pregnant woman and her mother were arrested after one choked and the other threatened a 71-year-old Walmart greeter while leaving the store.

Elyria police say 49-year-old Toni Duncan was asked to show a receipt Saturday when leaving the store. This is standard practice at Walmart, at least the one in my area. Duncan reportedly responded by yelling racial slurs, pushing a cart into the greeter, and grabbing his throat and choking him.

Her daughter, 21-year-old Ashley Jackson, then allegedly threatened to blow up the store. She also indicated to the greeter that he would be dead once her boyfriend found out about the incident. Police say Jackson threatened to punch another employee who came to the greeter’s aid. All of this over being asked to show a receipt… now that’s classy.

When police arrived, the two were found in the parking lot with two small children. Duncan reportedly admitted to choking the greeter, but added that she wanted to press charges against the WalMart employees.…

Louisville, KY — Lida Henry was taken into custody on child abuse charges Friday after police say the woman admitted to biting her 4-month-old child multiple times, leaving bite marks body wide.

Authorities allege Henry has been abusing the child since his birth in November. Aside from the biting, Henry reportedly admitted to punching the child in the shoulder with a closed fist, forcefully slamming him into his car seat and “shaking him to the point where his head flopped forwards and backwards.”

A medical examination of the child revealed multiple broken bones, including rib fractures and a humerus fracture.

Henry, 22, has been charged with assault and criminal abuse of a child. I’d really kinda like to see this bitch shoved into a pit full of bear traps. Or hungry bears, whatever……

OGDEN, Utah – Tyler Grove’s neighbors are calling him a hero today after he used a baseball bat on someone breaking into his home and inadvertently put an end to another man’s crime spree.

Police say that on Friday, 45-year-old Michael Ames entered a South Ogden Key Bank threatening everyone inside with a gun and forcing them into a back room. He fled the scene after bank workers gave him an unknown amount of money he had demanded. Police lost sight of him during a high-speed chase, and Ames used that time to abandon his vehicle and carjacked a woman’s Jeep at gunpoint, only to crash the vehicle a little while later.

That’s when Ames picked the wrong house to break into.

The home belonged to Tyler Grove where he lived with his wife and two children. Grove had grabbed a baseball bat after hearing someone breaking into his home and commenced to give Ames a pretty sound beating. “Tyler was ready with a baseball bat and I heard he struggled all the way until he chased the guy outside,” said neighbor Rob Cowen.…

Winston-Salem, NC – Not much information on this one yet, but police have charged 26-year-old Jacob Andrew Minton with attempted murder after the man reportedly attacked a 2-year-old girl inside Brenner Children’s Hospital early Sunday morning.

Police say the child was at the hospital being treated for injuries she sustained at home when Minton reportedly started beating the child, leading hospital employees to intervene and call police.

Authorities are still trying to determine what brought the girl to the hospital in the first place, and it is not known at this time if the toddler’s original injuries are in any way related to this particular case. Police say that though the child’s injuries are considered serious, she is currently listed in stable condition. Vague, I know, but it sounds to me as if maybe dude was trying to finish what he may have started earlier…

Minton, a friend of the child’s mother, is being held on $400,000 bond.

Santa Monica, CA. – Francisco Gerardo Rodriguez, 25, and Maria Leyva Jasmilet, 26, have been arrested for the alleged torture of an adult male with the mental capacity of a 12-year-old child.

At 12:48 pm on Wednesday, a police officer responded to a call at a local hospital. It was there that he interviewed a 26-year-old Hispanic man who told the officer he had been held against his will and repeatedly assaulted and tortured.

Doctors told the officer that the victim was emaciated and suffered from numerous cuts, abrasions and bruises all over his body, including his genitalia. Upon further review, police found the man had lost between 60 and 80 pounds and had several new tattoos.

Rodriquez was booked for assault with a deadly weapon, mayhem, torture and abuse of a dependent adult – he is being held on $1 million bond. Jasmilet was booked for abuse of a dependent adult. The couple’s two children, ages 5 and 7, were removed from the home by social services.

Neighbors indicated they had heard yelling and screaming from the apartment complex where the suspects lived over the last few days.…

Houston, Texas -- A deaf man got himself some assault charges after getting into a fight and biting off part of his deaf friend’s ear.

Davon Stewart, 26, got into a bit of an altercation at a party last month at a deaf friend’s apartment. Stewart is deaf but can speak if needed, whereas his friend is deaf but only communicates through sign language.

The two got into a heated argument that escalated after Stewart’s friend poured a bottle of malt liquor on him. As Stewart was being escorted out of the apartment, he pushed his friend’s girlfriend. This is when things turned physical between the two men and when Stewart bit off a part of his friend’s ear (I know this sounds insensitive, but I laughed at the image of the deaf victim’s fingers signing wildly as he was being bitten. – Morbid) .

Stewart fled on foot, but was hit by a Dodge Durango during his escape attempt. He was then taken to Memorial Hermann Hospital Southwest for treatment for a leg injury. …

Corpus Christi, Texas – A man has been arrested, charged with attacking his step-daughter’s boyfriend with a samurai sword.

Robert Salyer, 40, lives with his step-daughter and her 25-year-old boyfriend. On Thursday night, the daughter and her boyfriend were arguing when Salyer decided it was time to step in and made the step-daughter’s boyfriend get out of the house.

Now, let me just tell you that any boyfriend I ever had knew better than to be anything less than perfect when my dad was around. My dad surely would have intervened and kicked some serious ass if a guy was disrespecting me. Unfortunately for the step-daughter’s boyfriend, he was never taught this lesson, as evident by him returning a little while later.

Salyer refused to let his daughter’s boyfriend enter the home, at which point the boyfriend decided he was going to force his way in and started kicking in the front door. Salyer grabbed his samurai sword and went into action on the little twerp, slicing open his upper lip. …

Englewood, FL -- A 22-year-old man was arrested for allegedly attacking his mother with an axe, threatening to kill her, and then forcing her to stay in his bedroom and watch movies with him.

Deputies arrested Robert Christopher Tuttle after receiving a call from his 60-year-old mother who was able to escape from the bedroom. According to the mother, Tuttle had been drinking Thursday night and became aggressive around midnight.

He began destroying items in the house and ultimately took an axe to the oven, refrigerator and a bedroom door. Tuttle swung the axe at his mom but she stepped back, avoiding the blow. Because he threatened to kill the mother if she called police, she obliged and remained silent.

Then, in a bizarre move, he forced his mother to watch movies with him in his bedroom for several hours… all while he held the axe. It wasn’t until 10 am, when Tuttle finally fell asleep, that the mother was able to escape and call police.

Deputies arrested Tuttle, charging him with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and false imprisonment.…