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CLOVER, SC — Police have arrested a substitute teacher at Clover Middle School, accusing her of assaulting one of her students.

A resource officer at the school was approached by students on Friday between classes who informed him they had witnessed a substitute teacher assault a 13-year-old student during class.

The officer tracked down the alleged victim who said that he “threw a pen into a trash can [and 49-year-old Elizabeth Robinson] became enraged with anger” and then punched him in the face with her fist.

When Robinson was questioned, she admitted that she had gotten angry after the student misbehaved and that she had slapped him in the face with an open hand. She denied using a closed fist.

Robinson was then escorted from the classroom by the school’s resource officer and school officials and is currently facing simple assault and battery.

Of course I cannot condone a teacher slapping or punching a 13-year-old in the face for misbehaving, but it isn’t like I don’t understand why she may have lost it.…

Carlsbad, NM — Benito Apolinar, 36, recently pleaded not guilty to one charge of battery after police accused him of slugging his wife because she failed to “like” his Facebook status update.

Benito, recently separated from his wife of 15 years, apparently posted a status update last week about it being the anniversary of his mother’s death. And, as one would expect, many of his friends stopped by to express their condolences and “like” his depressing as fcuk comment. The fanatical ones will “like” anydamnthing, won’t they?

Anyway, Benito grew angry when he realized his wife neglected to get all clicky with the like button. Whether she left the obligatory “Awwwwww…I’m so sorry *kiss/hug/rimjob*” comment is unknown at this point.

When the displeased and inebriated Benito arrived at the wife’s home on Monday to drop off their children, an argument over the woman’s apparent lack of compassion ensued.

“That’s amazing everyone ‘likes’ my status but you, you’re my wife,” he allegedly told her. “You should be the first one to ‘like’ my status.”

The woman told police Benito then pulled her hair – pussy move – and punched her in the cheek.…

WYOMING, Mich. – Police need help finding out who brutally beat a woman before setting her on fire.

Lori A. Lee, 38, was found on Sunday morning knocking on doors looking for help. Not only had she been so severely beaten that her face was unrecognizable, but police say whoever was responsible also set Lee on fire.

Police think that she had been left for dead, but somehow Lee managed to make her way to a home and ask for help.  She’s currently in the hospital in serious condition with severe head trauma, an eye injury and burns over one-third of her body.

Because of being under heavy sedation, she has not been able to communicate with police and tell them what happened. Lee, who lives a transient lifestyle while looking for work, was only  identified by her fingerprints.

“We haven’t seen something as insidious and gruesome as this. That’s a whole different type of criminal element who would do something like this to a human being,” said Wyoming police Chief James Carmody .…

ARBUTUS, Md. — Police have arrested a woman in connection to the bleach attack that occurred in the aisles of a Maryland Walmart on Saturday morning.

Theresa Monique Jefferson, 33, got into an argument with her baby’s daddy’s new girlfriend and followed her into a Walmart where she assaulted the woman.

Once Jefferson had the victim on the ground, she began grabbing bleach and ammonia products off the shelves and pouring the liquids on top of the other woman.

Aside from it sucking to have any of the two chemicals poured on you, both of them together is even worse, creating toxic fumes that sent a handful of customers and employees to the hospital.

After police, firefighters and hazardous materials crews arrived at the store, they made the decision to evacuate it and keep it that way until the mess could be cleaned up.

Fire officials said 19 people had to be taken to the hospital for treatment, including one suffering from a serious eye injury. Jefferson was arrested and charged with charged with first- and second-degree assault, theft under $100 and malicious destruction of property.…

Indianapolis, IN — Alice Howe, 48, is facing multiple charges after a 68-year-old woman she was “caring” for was found gagged and bound in duct tape.

Police were called to the apartment Howe shared with the victim after neighbors called to complain about the banging coming from inside the residence. Upon entry, police found the victim on a mattress in the middle of a dark room.

“She was immobile. She could not move. She was bound by her feet and hands,” said Indianapolis police spokesman Officer Anthony Schneider. “She couldn’t yell or scream because her mouth was bound also.”

Police say the woman had been banging on the wall for hours trying to get someone’s attention. They believe she had been bound for more than 22 hours.

The victim told police Howe lived with her as a caretaker. And when she wasn’t caretaking, Howe was apparently prostituting herself and indulging in a little crack smoking, which, the victim said, made her mean and abusive. Not only was Howe the woman’s supposed caretaker, living in her home rent free, she was also the sole beneficiary on the woman’s life insurance policy and had power of attorney over all of the victim’s financial matters.…

Eastleigh, England – Virtually an entire family has been convicted for the attempted murder of their wealthy 89-year-old English patriarch. Apparently not willing to merely wait for their inheritence, the brainiacs sought assistance from Google for ways to kill the elderly gentleman. This, and other details, were heard during their court hearings.

The gentleman’s 16-year-old-grandaughter, her 14-year-old sister and 49-year-old mother, reportedly scoured internet for ways to kill the elderly man – along with a 19-year-old grandson and his 17-year-old girlfriend – using cryptic Google searches like “the easiest way to kill an old person”, “can you kill someone with a punch?”, “dangerous drugs for the elderly”, and the completely mysterious “if you hit someone across the back of the head with a brick will they die?”

The court heard that their first attempts – throwing bricks through his window and cutting the fuel line on his car to make it explode – failed. Investigators concluded that they then devised plans to physically attack man – who suffers from dementia – using bricks in plastic bags in an attempt to scare him to death.…

Sante Fe, NM — Derrick Manuel, the bloody guy to the left, was brutally beaten by three men earlier this week after he accidentally hit a 5-year-old girl that darted in front of his vehicle in a grocery store parking lot.

As is apparent in the attached surveillance video, the car in which the child was riding stops in the middle of the parking lot. The girl jumps out, runs behind the vehicle and straight into the path of Manuel’s truck. When Manuel attempted to climb out of his truck to check on the child, three of the kiddos relatives jumped him.

“At one point, I was going to pass out,” said 49-year-old Manuel. “They were hitting my face, they were hitting me, hitting me.”

Both Manuel and the child were taken to the hospital for treatment and later released. No word on the girl’s injuries, but authorities said they were minor. Manuel suffered cuts, swelling and contusions to his face during the rumble, which police say had to be broken up by witnesses.…

LOUISVILLE, Ky. —  I was wondering when we would start getting our annual haunted house stories and  24-year-old Jessica K. Bottoms gets the honors of being the first. Her drunk ass got arrested after she punched an actor in a haunted house attraction.

According to arrest records, shortly after midnight Friday, Bottoms was drunk at the Haunted Hotel when she punched one of the employees and was observed by police grabbing on other attraction workers.

She was told to leave but she decided to eschew logic, like most drunks do, and became combative. She continued fighting with police even after she was restrained and arrested.

Bottoms was placed in jail on preliminary charges of misdemeanor charges of alcohol intoxication, disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. While I find nothing quite as aggravating as a belligerent drunk chick, at least she wasn’t a drunk cop.

Anyone else have any memorable experiences at a haunted house attraction? I never got scared at them as much as I got aggravated at people jumping out at me.…

Elyria, OH — Matthew Rudisill, 24, was arrested and charged with domestic violence Friday after his girlfriend accused him of shoving snake poop in her mouth during an argument.

The 21-year-old victim reportedly told police Rudisill called her early Friday and stated that he was going to “mess up her room.” The victim returned home to check on her belongings, finding them unmessed and intact. When she turned around to leave the home, Rudisill blocked her exit by standing in the doorway. The victim told police that at that point, she grabbed a coral snake from it’s tank and threatened to let it loose if Rudisill didn’t allow her to leave. And that’s when sh*t got nasty…..

Rudisill apparently grabbed the poisonous snake by the tail, milked it of it’s poo and proceeded to shove his hand in the girlfriend’s mouth, causing her to gag. Rudisill then returned the snake to it’s tank, stood nose-to-nose with his girlfriend and told her to go ahead and hit him. Heh…he wouldn’t have had to tell me twice.…

ELYRIA, Ohio — I’m sometimes aggravated by the person whose job it is to stand at the front of the door and check receipts, but it takes all of 30 seconds max to simply hold out my receipt and smile as they pretend to check it against my items. It’s not like they find the stuff I crammed in my pockets.

But one woman in Ohio, 49-year-old Toni Duncan, took things way too far back in March when a 71-year-old Walmart greeter asked to see her receipt as she was leaving the store. Already unhappy that customer service would not help her with another matter, Duncan became verbally abusive towards Alger Burchell and started yelling racial slurs at him. Witnesses say she hit him with her shopping cart before grabbing him by the throat.

Another employee intervened at which time Duncan went back to the customer service counter and threatened to punch an employee in the face. She then bragged to her pregnant daughter who was in the store with her, 23-year-old Ashley Jackson, that she had just “choked a cracker.”

Not content with letting her mother act like a jackass, Jackson would join in by threatening to blow up the store three times while also telling Burchell that  once her boyfriend found about the incident, he wouldn’t be alive to finish his shift.…

Louisville, KY — Daniel Bond was arrested on assault charges Thursday after police accused him of attacking his girlfriend as she sang in the shower.

Bond, reportedly annoyed by the girlfriend’s voice and loud music playing in the background, allegedly lunged at the woman, grabbed her by the throat and shoved her. Police said Bond also tried to trip the woman.

The 28-year-old then allegedly smashed the woman’s cellphone on the bathroom vanity and threatened to kill her.

Bond was booked on charges of fourth-degree assault and intimidating a witness. A bail amount has not yet been made available.

In my opinion, a reaction like that can only be brought forth by that John Denver dude – Take Me Home, Country Roads makes me feel all kinds of violent.

Kind of off topic here, but I gotta know – is there a particular song out there that makes ya want to punch a bunny every time you hear it? Doesn’t matter if it’s playing on the radio or being whistled by the man behind you in line at the grocery store, you just hate the fact that it even exists.…

Man Chokes Teen For Taunting Him In Call Of Duty

September 30, 2011 at 12:59 pm by  

UK — A 46-year-old man admitted he “lost it” after a 13-year-old boy killed his character in Call of Duty: Black Ops and would not stop taunting him.

Mark Bradford said:  “I’d been playing the whole day and he was baiting me and baiting me and just would not shut up. He went on and on and I just lost it. In a moment of madness I went round to his house. I didn’t know what I was going to do.”

So he improvised.

Bradford admits he confronted the teen and put his hands around the teen’s neck.

The unidentified boy said: “I was just sat playing. We’d had a bit of a joke and then he stormed in and grabbed me. I didn’t know what was going on.”

Bradford’s attack was interrupted by the teen’s mother who pulled Bradford off of her son. Bradford simply walked away without saying a word.

In court answering to assault charges, Bradford’s lawyer said his client has mental health issues and the attack was not planned.…

MERRIMACK, N.H. — I know it’s a sickness but my penis has a hard spot for crazy women with anger management issues like 28-year-old Cassandra Beauchesne. She has been arrested for the fourth time in one year, twice in one week, for abusing her husband in some fashion.

It all started back in December of last year when Beauchesne, a reading and math teacher at Maple Avenue Elementary School, was charged with simple assault for allegedly slapping and punching her husband in the face as well as choking him twice.

In March those charges were dropped on the same day she was arrested and charged with second-degree assault. According to court documents, she tried to strangle her husband by “wrapping her right arm around his neck and applying pressure.” She also switched up her strangulation method using the old-fashioned, yet effective, method of using both of her hands.

The other day police were called to the couple’s home on a domestic disturbance call where they found she had smashed her husband’s computer.…

Winnipeg, CA — Back in 2009, Jaded brought you the original story of Nikita Eaglestick, 21. I encourage you to read it, but I will summarize here.

On Aug. 31, 2009, Eaglestick had been out of jail just three days after having been charged with charged with assault with a weapon, assault causing bodily harm, and 12 other charges related to an attack she had allegedly perpetrated on a woman using a screwdriver. Eagletrick was under court order to abstain from alcohol.

After admittedly drinking on that day, she headed to a Winnipeg house party where more alcohol would be served. It was… and she drank it.

According to court documents, at around 4:30AM, Eaglelick picked up 13-month-old Vanessa Houle – who was asleep on the couch – and took her outside. There, she started smashing the baby’s face against the sidewalk. She did not stop.

Thankfully, not long after a neighbor, Tyler Bilsborrow, stepped outside his family’s home for a cigarette when he heard what he described as “weird sounds, like screaming sounds.” Bilsborrow followed the sounds around the corner and saw Eaglehick beating a child.…

Police: Man Brings Baby To Bar, Starts Two Fights

September 29, 2011 at 6:09 am by  

Tampa, FL — Kristopher Mills is facing numerous charges after police say he entered a bar with his 9-month-old child and proceeded to start two separate fights.

According to police, Mills entered Shenaniganz Bar with the child Sunday evening, approached a male patron and pulled his hair. Wait…what? Baby or no baby, that’s a real pussy move. I guess he must have left his purse in the car…

Anyway, the hair tuggin’ led to some sort of fight, which I imagine was nothing more than a couple of bitch slaps and a few girlish screams.

When the first fight (?) concluded, Mills reportedly handed the child to a friend in the bar and confronted a second man, striking him with his fists. No word on whether anyone lost any hair or suffered any broken nails during that confrontation.

At some point during all this rumblin’, Mills managed to toss back about six beers. Fortunately, the police arrived before Mills could take off with the infant in his car.

The little spitfire wasn’t quite done – when the arresting officer placed him under arrest, Mills reportedly struck him.…

Louisville, KY — Police have arrested 79-year-old James Handy after they say he attacked his neighbor with a cup of coffee for “staring at him.”

Handy apparently approached said neighbor’s car as he was pulling out of his driveway last week, and splashed coffee on the man through an open window. When the victim exited the vehicle and asked Handy what was up, police say Handy busted him upside the head with his coffee cup and proceeded to cut the man’s left arm with the mug’s broken handle.

When police asked Handy why he attacked the man, he reportedly told them that, “he owed it to him” and that the victim “was staring at him.” And, by golly, he’d do it again if he caught that neighbor eyein’ him just one more time.

Handy has been booked on charges of second-degree assault.

I feel ya, Mr. Handy, I really do….I get to feeling all homicidal just knowing that my neighbors are breathing. But to waste a perfectly good cup of coffee?…

East Naples, FL — Ian Stuart Wood, 50, was taken into custody over the weekend after police say he attacked his wife during a rather heated game of Yahtzee. And you know what? I can’t believe I just used the words “heated” and “Yahtzee” in the same damn sentence.

According to police, Wood and the wife were playing the popular (?) dice game Saturday evening when an argument broke out. The wife, hoping to cool off a bit, attempted to leave the residence. At that point, police say, Wood pushed her to the floor.

Once he had her down, Wood reportedly pushed his knee into her back and placed his hand over her mouth, ordering her to cease and desist with the screaming. The woman told police Wood then rolled her over and started getting all chokey…chokey to the point she couldn’t breathe.

The woman somehow manged to escape to a neighbor’s home to call police.

When police arrived on scene, they found several broken dishes and an extremely belligerent and argumentative Wood.…

Mother Accused Of Stabbing Sleeping Daughter

September 23, 2011 at 2:09 am by  

Conroe, TX — A 13-year-old girl was hospitalized with multiple stab wounds early Thursday morning after her mother reportedly got all kinds of stabby in the middle of the night.

According to police, Dequita Hoefling entered her daughter’s room at about 1:00 that morning and proceeded to stab her several times in the neck and back as she slept. Deputies said the girl was able to run to a bedroom to wake up her father for help. He then rushed her to the hospital.

“You can only imagine what was going through the mind of this father as he’s carrying his 13-year-old daughter into an emergency room with multiple stab wounds,” said Lt. Dan Norris.

After questioning dad at the hospital, officers were dispatched to the home where they arrested Hoefling without incident. So far, the motive behind the alleged attack is unknown.

Hoefling, 40, is behind bars on a $500,000 bond, charged with aggravated assault. The teen is listed in critical condition, but is expected to survive.

Woman Arrested in Daughter’s Stabbing: MyFoxHOUSTON.com…