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Cloquet, MN - Formal charges were levied Tuesday against Amber Ray Stonemark, 26, who police allege sliced up an ex-boyfriend with a straight-blade razor while claiming to be Jesus Christ.  By the account, she seemed quite intent on dispatching him to the great beyond.

25-year-old Chaz Farleigh was the unfortunate focus of Stonemark’s attention last Friday night.  “I’m going to kill him and send him for eternity to the devil.”  Stonemark was quoted by police as saying after being told to drop what police thought was a knife.

C’mon cops…  WWJKW?  A knife?  I don’t think so…

According to the complaint, Cloquet police were dispatched to a home near Stonemark’s after reports of a fight on the back steps.  A nearby officer was able to respond almostimmediately.  He encountering Stonemark “covered in blood” and wielding an “old-style straight-edge folding razor.”  By the officer’s account, “she was in the process of trying to stab a bloody man lying on his back.”

The officer tased her in the chest from a distance of about six feet.…

Oklahoma City, OK — Four people are in custody after authorities say they attacked a developmentally disabled 18-year-old man last month, shocking his genitals with a stun gun and forcibly tattooing the words “I like little boys” on his chest and “RAPEST” on his forehead.

Demonites, meet the accused: 31-year-old Richard Dellert, 25-year-old Kimberly Sue Vergara, 21-year-old Zachary Provence and 33-year-old Lorena Hodges. Smart lookin’ bunch, no?

Because the victim was brutally beaten in addition to the shocking and the tatting, the details are a bit sketchy…

Police say that on April 17, while a couple members of the foursome were forcibly holding the victim down and shocking the family jewels, Dellert was busy inking the word “RAPEST” on the man’s forehead. And while he failed miserably with that word, he did manage to correctly spell “I like little boys” on the victim’s chest.

“They just put it on there,” said Stetson Johnson. “They was, like, ‘This is what you’re going to get and you’re going to walk around with this … ‘ I tried to push my way off of them and they kept on holding me down harder.”

While the ink was drying on Johnson’s head and chest, the group reportedly drove him to a lake in Del City.…

LAS CRUCES, N.M. – A woman is facing battery charges after police say she bit off her boyfriend’s lower lip during an argument.

Police were called to the Coachlight Inn Sunday night and found a 35-year-old man sporting a bloody face. He was transported to a local hospital then to the University Medical Center of El Paso because the extent of his injuries.

You see, he had been arguing with his girlfriend, 26-year-old Aurelia Lorena Reyes. The disagreement got heated and he told her to get out. Reyes responded to this request by grabbing her boyfriend’s head and biting off his lower lip.

And I don’t mean “off” in a sensationalize a story way, I mean “off” as in his lip was no longer attached to his face. In fact, police found it laying on the sidewalk right outside the door of the couple’s apartment. It was collected sent to the hospital with the victim, but I haven’t read any reports of it being re-attached to the man’s mouth or not.…

Columbus, OH — 54-year-old Kimberly Sue Brooks of Bronx, NY was indicted on on Friday for allegedly giving a 4-year-old methadone.

According to police, Brooks was visiting a family in Columbus, Ohio last October. Brooks told police her friend’s young daughter ‘was not feeling well the night before, and was fussy and could not sleep,’ so she gave the girl some methadone.

The 4-year-old girl later had to be taken to Nationwide Children’s Hospital after suffering cardiac arrest. There is no word on the child’s current condition, but based on the charges, it’s safe to assume she survived.

Brooks faces one count of felonious assault and two counts of endangering children. It is great that that they have a drug for heroin addiction. Do they have a drug for stupid, yet?…

Port St. Lucie, FL – The gentleman sporting the lovely shiner is 42-year-old Stephen Kurtycz – he’s facing charges of aggravated battery after police say he confronted a bothersome neighbor with a baseball bat.

According to the police affidavit, Kurtycz grew angry over a neighbor’s loud music late Tuesday night, and after yelling at ‘em to “turn that (bleep bleep) down,” he apparently grabbed a wooden baseball bat and headed over for a not so friendly chat.

Unable to resolve the matter verbally, police say Kurtycz whacked the woman upside the head so hard the bat splintered. He then reportedly attacked one of the woman’s friends, landing a punch to the eye. At that, the friend grabbed hold of Kurtycz’s bat and popped him a good one in the face, sending him to the ground. After picking himself up and dusting himself off, Kurtycz returned home. He was taken into custody a short time later.

Police say the homeowner has declined to press charges. Speaking of the homeowner, that was either a really cheap ass bat or that woman has a head made of iron.…

Hallandale Beach, FL – A group of hearing-impaired men have been hospitalized with stab wounds after police say their sign language was mistaken for gang signs.

31-year-old Alfred Stewart (pictured) was celebrating a birthday with a group of hearing-impaired friends at Ocean’s Eleven Lounge Saturday night when another patron in the bar, 45-year-old Barbara Lee, mistook their sign language for gang gestures and got all kinds of offended. Police say Lee, a suspected gang member, approached the group and began throwing her own signs. Witnesses say the friends motioned for Lee to leave them alone.

Lee exited the bar, but returned a short time later with a couple of thugs in tow, one of them an unidentified juvenile. The other alleged thug, 19-year-old Marco Ibanez, reportedly pulled out a knife and started getting stabby.

Stewart and two of his friends reportedly suffered stab wounds to the back and torso. A bouncer who intervened in the attack was hospitalized after being hit over the head with a beer bottle multiple times.…

Coralville, IA – Lucinda V. Kinder, 32, has been charged with domestic abuse assault without intent causing injury after police say she bit her boyfriend’s penis during a heated argument.

Police responded to the home the woman shares with her boyfriend after receiving a 911 hangup call earlier this month. A police investigation alleges that Kinder punched the man, scratched his left shoulder, then bit his penis causing it to bleed.

At last report, Kinder was jailed on a $2,500 cash bond.

How do you bite a man’s penis to the point of drawing blood without intent to commit injury?!?  I am injured by the thought of it alone.

 …

Muncie, IN — Kenneth Wayne Meer, 21, was arrested Sunday morning after going to Indiana University Health Ball Memorial Hospital for treatment for stab wounds to his stomach and back.

Police were actually anticipating Meer’s arrival at the hospital after a 21-year-old female Ball State University student reported a rape during which she had stabbed her assailant four times.

According to police, at approximately 4:30AM, Meer knocked on the door of the victim’s apartment. Police say the victim opened the door and Meer “forced his way into her apartment.” The two then began to struggle.

Meer pulled a knife and put it to the woman’s throat, but dropped the knife during the struggle. The victim grabbed the knife and began stabbing Meer as he strangled her. The woman passed out from the strangulation, according to police reports.

It was after the victim regained consciousness that Meer reportedly raped her. As he was doing so, he tried to contain the blood from his multiple stab wounds using a T-shirt.

Meer’s mother and girlfriend told investigators Meer returned home around 6 a.m.…

St. Paul, MN — The jury that convicted Luke Brandon Scott, 29, on two counts of assault, making terroristic threats and false imprisonment decided Tuesday that there were aggravating factors involved in the crimes.

The charges for which Scott was found guilty resulted from his mistreatment of Caitlin Hodges the night of Sept. 26 and early Sept. 27. He was charged with two counts of kidnapping but was found not guilty of those charges.

Luke Brandon Scott, 29, offered no visible reaction as the convictions were read.

During closing arguments, prosecuting attorney Janice Barker said Hodges told Scott she no longer wanted to be intimate with him. Scott got angry and refused to let her leave his house, Barker said.

Hodges testified at trial that Scott smashed her teeth with a wine bottle, beat her, pointed a pellet gun at her head, threatened her with a knife and locked her in a dog kennel. Barker also described how Scott made her mop up spilled beer with her hair, dragged her by the hair, wrapped his arm around her throat, kicked her, hit her with a riding crop, and threw his own dog against a refrigerator.…

Sacramento, CA – Dunno if any of you remember the story we posted about back in February regarding some mourners attacking a Fox40 news crew, but there has been an update to the story. No charges will be filed.

Back in February, FOX40 reporter John Lobertini and photographer Rebecca Little, were with other news crews at an IHOP parking lot were 27-year-old Chester Jackson had been shot to death earlier that day. Lobertini and Little got into a confrontation with friends and family of the victim who had gathered there when they began trying to interview some of them.

Video shows the father of the victim, 57-year-old Chester Jackson III, pushing Little’s camera away before a woman pulls Little to the ground. Jacqueline Jackson, the sister of the victim, then kicks Little while she’s on the ground, and Chester Jackson throws a punch at Lobertini.

The DA’s office stated their decision not to press charges against Jackson were because “his actions do not rise to the level of a prosecutable case for assault or battery and certainly not attempted robbery.” Fair enough.…

Baltimore, MD – Bond has been denied for Teonna Monae Brown, one of the two teens charged with beating Chrissy Lee Polis in a Baltimore McDonald’s.

The attack was filmed by a McDonald’s employee who has since been fired, but not before he posted the video on his Facebook and found out the hard way that most of society did not find the act as hilarious as he did and do not condone the actions of Brown and her 14-year-old friend.

I don’t normally like to post about the same story in one week, but more information has been released regarding this incident, including Brown’s name, mugshot and the charges against her that include three first and second-degree assault charges.

The other bit of info comes from The Smoking Gun who uncovered that Brown was arrested for assaulting a woman last year, in the exact same restaurant. After watching Brown’s activities in the videotaped assault of Chrissy Polis, that doesn’t surprise me in the least.

Also revealed is the older woman who tries to step in and help Polis.…

Baltimore, MD – It’s been a pretty good week for someone like myself who has a morbid fascination with amusement park accidents and fast food restaurant based stories. Earlier this month we posted the McDonald’s Hiring Day fiasco and the McDonald’s manager who beat down an employee.

Now we have a third McDonald’s story after a video has went viral showing two teen girls beating the ever-living crap out of a 22-year-old transgendered woman in a Baltimore McDonald’s.

Now for those of you who cannot see the following video, it shows two black girls, aged 14 and 18, beating on a 22-year-old white woman who is reportedly transgendered. This tag team goes on for about three straight minutes and ends after she is dragged to the front of the store by her hair and goes into seizures after taking a vicious blow to the head.

But to me the real story goes beyond the attack, which some are calling a hate crime, and more to do with the action\inaction of the people watching it as it unfolds.…

Pittsburgh, PA — Pittsburgh police arrested Lamarr Stephen Marshall, 32, after he shot a 16-year-old girl, identified in a criminal complaint as Lakeisha Lane, because she would not give him her last cigarette.

Lt. Dan Herrmann said Marshall approached the girl at a residence and asked for a cigarette. Lakeisha told police that when she told Marshall no, he pulled out a gun and shot her once in the leg. He then fled.

The girl’s injuries are not considered life-threatening. Police said she is in stable condition at a local hospital.

Marshall was arrested after the shooting and charged with attempted murder, aggravated assault and illegal possession of a weapon because of his being a convicted felon. He is currently being held in the Allegheny County Jail.

Selfish bitch.

Sioux City, IA — Joseph David Sauce, 41, was arrested Friday by the Woodbury County Sheriff’s Office. He was charged with willful injury, a class C felony; false imprisonment, a serious misdemeanor; and third-degree harassment, a simple misdemeanor. That is a fancy way of saying that he kicked the living shit out of his boss.

According to the criminal complaint, Sauce’s boss, Doug Inlay, had planned to fire Sauce from Agency One, an insurance agency at which they both worked. The dismissal was reportedly because Sauce came to work late, smelling of alcohol, and made unflattering comments about Inlay’s wife – all generally regarded as poor employee behavior.

According to the complaint, though, two days before the planned dismissal, Sauce came to the agency, told the secretary to leave, and commenced a beating of biblical proportions.

Sauce allegedly began it all by striking Inlay in the back of the head while Inlay sat at his desk. The complaint says that when Inlay fell to the floor, Sauce kicked him repeatedly in the face and told him, “You guys think you can get rid of me.”

The assault moved from office to office with Sauce allegedly dragging Inlay by the tie for some of it.…

CLEVELAND, OH -- Come on…you really didn’t think I was going to let that McDonald’s story out of Ohio go without posting it, did you? If you have been reading here for a bit, you know I cannot resist any kind of  fast food restaurant shenanigans. I also just realized that’s the first time I’ve ever spelled out the word”shenanigans.”

Anyway, on Tuesday a McDonald’s was holding its “National Day of Hiring” in which they hire thousands of people to serve me my food. While a crowd of people watched, two women got into a physical fight over a boy that had all the weave pulling and spitting any red-blooded gawker could ask for. But things turned deadly after the fight moved inside of a car, one woman beating another sitting in the driver seat.

As you can see in the video, the car moves forward for a bit, and then goes in reverse, hitting three people standing behind it. Those three people were 59-year-old Turan Strange, owner of the McDonald’s; Marilyn O’Stricker, manager of the McDonald’s; and a 17-year-old.…

Mobile, AL — 79-year-old Bonnie Pogue, a disabled veteran of the U.S. Air Force, was hospitalized Monday after police say his nephew dug his eyeballs out of his head with a spoon.

According to Prichard Police Chief Jimmie Gardner, police and paramedics were dispatched to Pogue’s home Monday evening after relatives arrived at the residence to find the man bleeding profusely from his face. As paramedics attended to Pogue, his nephew, 30-year-old Timayo Knight, made a spontaneous and rather startling confession, telling police he “plucked his uncle’s eyes out” with a spoon.

Knight was promptly arrested and charged with first-degree assault. A search of the home revealed a bloody spoon sitting on the kitchen table and a matching set of eyeballs in a nearby trash can.

Authorities have refused to go into detail about a possible motive because of the ongoing investigation, but it doesn’t appear as if Knight was under the influence of illegal drugs at the time of the alleged eye gouging.

Knight is being held in Mobile County Metro Jail without bail.…

Rogersville, AL – A woman is facing attempted murder charges after she intentionally ran down two woman in a ballpark parking lot.

Sunday was picture day for a group of little leaguers at Rogersville Recreational Park. About 70 people, including 20 children, were in attendance. This included 43-year-old Malana White, who was there with her child plus her husband’s three children.

Witnesses say that White had been arguing with 30-year-old Christy Tucker, her husband’s ex-wife, for about an hour. The disagreement supposedly started over who was going to pay for the photos and who would get what photos. This moved in to when Tucker would have her three children, all under the age of 10, returned back to her.

Things then escalated in the parking lot when Tucker loaded her three children in her car. White told Tucker she and the kid’s father were to have them until 6 p.m. and immediately called police to report her children were being stole from her. But before officers could respond to the scene, White took matters into her own hands.…

PALM BAY, Fla. – Dennis Delisle, 48, was arrested while attending a roller skating party after parents witnessed him purposely knocking down young girls while they skated.

Skate Jam is a free family event that is held on the third Saturday of every month from September to May at Liberty Park. Last Saturday, Delisle was there and other parents observed him knocking kids down.

“He was pushing down the children, and it seemed like most of them were girls. Maybe (he did it) for an excuse to pick them up, grope them,” said one parent who confronted Delisle.

Police showed up at the event and arrested Delisle on charges of child abuse and battery. He denies he did anything he has been accused of and told reporters that he did not touch any of the children at the park either intentionally or accidentally.

When asked why all of these children would accuse him of pushing them down, he explained that the children made the accusations because they were jealous of his skating skills.…