Arthur Benoit Accused Of Beating Disabled Dad With Mounted AntlersTeen Charged With Manslaughter After Police Say She Encouraged Friend's SuicideSarah Cieslikowski Killed Her Wheelchair-Bound Daughter Before Killing HerselfPolice Say John Roberts Strangled Girl To Death After Luring Her To Motel Room With SnacksMatthew Scott Accused Of Shaking His 3-Month-Old Daughter To DeathBody Of Missing Baby Found Dead In Swamp, Mother Claims They Were AbductedJason Rios Used Crowbar To Kill His Mother And Niece, Tried Killing Himself With A DrillPolice Identify Suspect Accused Of Sexually Assaulting Child Inside Movie Theater BathroomJerry Carrier Accused Of Assaulting Baby Because He Was Upset At Video GameJillian Jacobson Hanged Herself In Her Classroom, Body Found By Students

Maricopa, AZ — Linda Burchfield was taken into custody early Wednesday morning after police say she slit a man’s throat during a relaxing post-coital massage.

Police say the 22-year-old woman was invited over to the victim’s residence Tuesday night to partake in the consumption of marijuana and various alcoholic beverages. When the party broke up shortly after midnight, Burchfield and the victim headed into the bedroom for some consensual nookie.

Police say Burchfield began arguing with the man soon after the lovin’ was over, demanding to know where he kept his cash. Though he stood his ground and refused to tell the woman where he stashed his cash, dude caved when Burchfield offered him a relaxing back massage.

At some point during the massage, Burchfield reportedly grabbed a nearby fillet knife and slit dude’s throat. I see I’m not the only who keeps their slitty, slashy, stabby stuff hidden in various locations throughout the bedroom…

Burchfield, still armed with the knife, then positioned her crazy ass in front of the bedroom door, preventing the man’s exit.…

BRECKSVILLE, OH – Here’s an odd one. A 21-year-old woman has been arrested and charged with spraying pepper spray into the faces of at least three children in an Ohio playground.

Police were initially responding to reports that a 4-year-old child was assaulted at the Kids Quarters playground, but when they arrived they found that three children had been sprayed with pepper spray by 21-year-old Laura Molnar.

Witnesses say they saw Molnar running away after spraying the 4-year-old in the face. One parent was there with his granddaughter when he heard the boy’s screams. “I didn’t think it was pepper spray at first, looked like acid,” he said. “It was a blister on his face, his whole face bright red, it was horrible, absolutely horrible.”

I feel for the kid. I have been sprayed with pepper spray twice. Once indirectly, but once full-on in the face. Got in both eyes and I even swallowed some. It stopped me dead in my tracks and for a few seconds I thought I was on fire.…

OSTEEN, Fla. – An 8-year-old boy may face an aggravated battery charge after he went nuts and stabbed a teacher with a pencil.

The boy was in an after-school program in the cafeteria of Osteen Elementary School when he began running around screaming like an idiot. When the teacher, 47-year-old Kelleen Long, approached the boy he grabbed a pencil and began moving towards another student.

When Long stepped in to protect the other student, the 8-year-old turned on her and attempted to stab her in the face with the pencil. Long was able to shield her face but was stabbed in the forearm, leaving lead lodged inside her. The boy then dropped to the ground.

Long did not require medical attention, but according to deputies she does want to file charges against the boy. His mother was called to the school to calm him down and explained that while he was not on any medication, her son was taking fish oil to help with his anger issues.

I’m thinking maybe it’s time she introduces the boy to handfuls of Valium…or possibly a dog crate.…

Joliet, Illinois – Police have filed charges against two people in relation to the death of an aspiring rapper at a party last September who died after taking a punch during a bet.

John ‘Fatboy’ Powell, 25, was at a party where he had performed with his rap band Krazy Killaz. While talking with some friends, he plopped over dead from a burst artery in his neck. The coroner would reveal Powell died from a brain hemorrhage caused by blunt force trauma.

Witnesses gave police different accounts as to how Powell had suffered the blunt force trauma, including that he hit his head after tripping and that he hit his head while jumping around on stage. But eventually these accounts were proven to be cover-ups to hide what had actually happened.

The truth turned out to involve a 22-year-old woman and a $5 party bet.

Prosecutors say that 27-year-old Jimmy Mounts was at the party offering people five bucks if they allowed themselves to take a punch thrown by Tiffany Startz.…

SPRINGFIELD, Mass. – Police in Massachusetts have arrested a man and charged him assault after they say he used a forklift to attack a car his girlfriend was sitting in.

According to Police Sergeant John Delaney, 41-year-old Brian Hurley and his girlfriend were inside a car outside of his workplace arguing about finances. Hurley ended up slapping his girlfriend across the face before exiting the vehicle, which he then began to kick.

Not satisfied with the bitchslap and the temper-tantrum, Hurley reportedly jumped into a forklift and used it to lift up the car his girlfriend was still sitting in. He carried it for a few feet before dropping it back on the ground and then running from the scene.

Police would find him later at his home and charge him with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, assault and battery and malicious damage to a motor vehicle.…

Tampa, FL – India Couch, 22, is facing drug and child abuse charges after police say she smacked her 1-year-old daughter with a shoe for nommin’ on her pot stash.

Police say the child was left unsupervised for a time Sunday morning, and after finding the stash in mom’s purse, chowed down on an undisclosed amount of the drug. After Couch realized the kid had ingested the weed, she proceeded to smack the kid with a sandal, leaving three welts on the child’s arm.

When another adult in the home tried to intervene, Couch reportedly picked up a 5 lb. dumbbell and hit him in the back and chest, causing minor injuries.

She’s been booked on charges of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and possession of cannabis, and is being held without bail in the Hillsborough County Jail.

Huh, the Couch really did do it this time……

Lorain, OH — This handsome gent here is Aaron Applegate. Aside from the extra chromosomes and the stupid hair cut, Applegate now has a few more things to add to his resume when he auditions for the part of Barney Rubble in the R-rated adaptation of The Flintstones that was just announced by the movie producers that live in my ass. These include, but are not limited to, his apparent taste for human flesh, his temper and his ability to piss anywhere.

29 year-old Nathaniel Chandler knows about these last three firsthand. Apparently Chandler was visiting a friend Tuesday evening when Applegate,  (a rough) 32, showed up drunk. Everything was fine until Applegate decided to whip out his Hogan and take a leak right in the front yard, paying no mind to the 3-year-old girl in the immediate area. This was the last straw for Chandler, who yelled at Applegate to pack it up and get lost.

Applegate didn’t take too kindly to this, and allegedly attacked Chandler. A brief scuffle ensued.…

Estella Warren Charged With DUI And Assault

May 26, 2011 at 1:35 pm by  

Los Angeles, CA – Estella Warren, a “celebrity” whose pictures I may have very well masturbated to 10 years ago, has gotten herself into a bit of trouble after getting arrested for DUI and assault.

The 32-year-old 40-year-old actress was arrested Monday after she crashed her Toyota Prius (ha!) into three vehicles while allegedly driving drunk. An owner of one of the cars hit told RadarOnline:

“I believe she hit at least two other cars before she stopped. When I approached her she was obviously drunk and acting crazy. A few more residents approached her, but she started yelling and accused us of stealing things from her. When I told her she had to wait for the police to arrive she lashed out at me and started to ‘girl-slap’ me on my chest and arms.”

Does anything scream L.A. more than a drunk, C-grade actress girl-slapping the person whose car she just hit with their friggin’ Prius? Jesus.

But it gets better. When police arrived on the scene, they arrested Warren on suspicion of DUI after she failed a field sobriety test.…

Tahuya, WA — A 15-year-old girl was taken into custody by SWAT Wednesday evening after she reportedly shot her father in the gut with an arrow because he took away her cell phone.

Police say the girl shot her father around 8:00 p.m. and refused to let him use the telephone to call for help. It has been reported that the man was forced to crawl to a neighbor’s home where he called 911.

After the incident, the teen apparently took off into the woods…still armed with the compound bow and about 35 arrows. Because she was considered armed and dangerous, a SWAT team was brought in to assist deputies with the search.

The SWAT team tracked the kid down and took her into custody at about 11:00 p.m. Police say the girl was found “to be despondent with a serious medical issue.” She was promptly transported to Marry Bridge Children’s Hospital for treatment of said unknown medical issue.

As for her 35-year-old father, he was airlifted to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle, where he is listed in critical condition with an arrow wound to the torso.…

Port St. Lucie, FL — Giovanni Presutti was taken into custody earlier this week after his much younger wife accused him of pulling a gun on her.

According to the arrest affidavit, the proverbial shit hit the fan soon after Presutti accused his wife of having an affair. At one point during the heated argument, Presutti reportedly yelled, “I want to kill you and the children.”

The crusty old codger headed for the garage with his wife at his heels. Once there, Presutti allegedly pushed the woman to the floor and retrieved a gun from a nearby desk. The woman said her husband pointed the weapon at her, drew the slide back and said, “Now I want to kill you.”

The woman told police she ran from the garage, grabbed the couple’s two young sons and went to the bedroom where she called 911.

When police arrived, the gun was found in the garage with four rounds inside, the hammer pulled back and the safety mechanism in the off position.…

Summerville, SC — Arthur Lee Thompson, 38, was pulled over after police were alerted about his green Jeep after a robbery attempt at a local WalMart last Friday. Police say Thompson tried to steal a computer and, when confronted, punched a store employee.

At the traffic stop, the dash-cam shows Thompson first challenging the officer with moves reminiscent of Muhammad Ali. After scuffling off camera, Thompson makes a successful grab for the police cruiser – whose lights are already activated – and begins a high speed run through town.

According to the incident report, the off-camera hijinx included the officer using his taser on Thompson twice – first when Thompson started fighting him, and again as he first got into the police cruiser. Thompson reportedly pulled out the taser barbs and continued fighting.

The dash-cam shows the police car joyride. Thompson reached speeds in excess of 100 mph at a distance of over 3 miles. He did pretty well.  …right up until the point he hit the landscaping truck.

Thompson then reportedly tried to escape by shattering the window to get out of the wrecked police car, but was arrested.…

Brunswick, ME — 32 year-old Nicole Hubert is looking a little Vanilla Sky after jumping from a moving vehicle on Sunday, a vehicle that was carrying her boyfriend to the hospital after she allegedly stabbed him in the chest. Like the aforementioned movie, this one takes a bit to make sense of, so we’ll start at the beginning.

At roughly 2am Sunday morning Hubert and her boyfriend had an argument. Police say that alcohol was a factor in the argument, which is odd since most 2am Sunday arguments I have are about (and caused by) puppy dogs. As a result of the argument, Hubert decided the unidentified 37 year-old man would look more handsome with a knife in his chest.

Hubert and a man who witnessed the stabbing attempted to drive the victim to the hospital. Though it’s unclear just who was driving the vehicle, what is clear is that at some point Hubert chose not  to be in the car anymore and jumped out, using her face to break the fall.…

Yakima, WA – A former sheriff’s deputy who recently pleaded guilty to rape and assault charges was found dead in his jail cell Saturday night from an apparent suicide.

37 year-old Sean Moore, who was kept out of general population for obvious reasons, was in the midst of serving a jail sentence of more than ten years for an incident that took place in October of 2010.

While on duty and in uniform, Moore apparently entered the home of a woman he knew. He held his gun to her head and asked a male friend of the victim if he would “like to see her die” before punching her in the head repeatedly and demanding that the male friend leave the home. When the man refused to leave the home, Moore exited, threatening to arrest the man if he didn’t accept a ride with him. Not only did the man refuse, but he also threatened to report Moore to the sheriff’s department, at which point Moore left in his cruiser.

Though the male friend spent the night at the woman’s house, Moore returned the next day and assaulted the woman again.…

Jensen Beach, FL — Speaking of rotten teenagers, a 13-year-old girl was taken into custody last week after her mother told police she “used” a cordless screwdriver on the family dog, laughing as she left a one inch open wound on the pup’s body.

The kid’s mother told police she tried to stop the girl from further injuring the dog, but the girl just “kept laughing, thinking that it was funny that the dog was hurt.”

Her alleged actions, of course, led to an argument at which time the girl reportedly threatened to “cut” her mother and “rearrange” her “ugly face.” In addition to harming the dog, the teen has been accused of scratching her mom.

Mom, further claiming to have found a BB gun and assorted cutlery hidden in the kid’s bedroom in the past, asked if she could have the girl involuntarily committed for a mental health evaluation under the Baker Act. Not sure what the reply was, but the kid was arrested on misdemeanor charges of domestic battery and cruelty to animals.…

Vero Beach, FL — Heather McKenzie, 37, was removed from her child’s elementary school talent show and arrested after putting on quite a show of her own.

This drama began earlier in the week when one of Mckenzie’s daughters had an argument with one of the young talent show participants. When McKenzie, who had a second child in the talent show, arrived at the talent show with the girl, the principal of Dodgertown Elementary School asked her to take the girl off campus.  According to the police affidavit, McKenzie protested.

That’s when an Indian River County Sheriff’s deputy approached McKenzie and asked her to step inside the cafeteria. After reportedly initially ignoring him, she then ‘rambled loudly’ about the conflict – describing it as a ‘black and white thing.’  McKenzie finally asked a friend to take her daughter from the school so she could stay and watch her other daughter perform.

This would have been a good time for you to head home yourself, Heather…

McKenzie returned to the talent show and, in front of the more than 100 people in attendance, began yelling, cursing, and hurling racial epithets at one family while also accusing them of being thieves.…

ELYRIA, Ohio – A man has been charged with attacking a police officer in a police station and the entire ordeal was captured on video.

Anthony Wayne Thomas, 29, had been brought to the Elyria Police Station after his girlfriend had called police and accused him of domestic violence. While there, officers discovered that Thomas was wanted on a warrant for contempt of court.

As Thomas was being handcuffed, he allegedly told Officer Bill Witt that he could sense “the smell of fear” on him to which Witt ensured Thomas that he was mistaken. While at the police station, Thomas must wanted to see if Witt was lying or not when he proceeded to jump over the booking area counter and launch a volley of punches at Witt’s face.

During the ensuing struggle, you can see that Witt is starting to tire and that Thomas is continually trying to get Witt’s gun off his belt. There are no other officers around and Witt’s microphone had fallen off so he was unable to radio for help.…

Bangor, ME — Any of you remember Abraham McDonald? He was featured back in April after police say he threatened to light his grandfather on fire because the man told him he couldn’t light a pile of sticks on fire. Ring a bell? Well, it looks as if I have found McDonald’s kindred spirit…the lovely Miss Emily Cole.

According to court documents, Emily, upset over a recent breakup with her partner, was outside of her grandparent’s home Friday, pouring gasoline on pine needles. When her grandmother, 77-year-old Ernestine Cole, walked outside and told her to knock it off, Emily reportedly doused the woman with gas and lit her on fire. Afterward, police said, Emily left the residence with her mother, Cole’s former daughter-in-law, Annette Jones.

Jones later told police that she was at the home when Emily BBQ’d her grandmother, but in another room. She also told investigators she only agreed to leave the residence with her daughter because she was scared, she had no idea what Emily was capable of.…

Phoenix, AZ — Tiana Turnman, 18, and Shykeem Jones, 24, are both in police custody, facing charges of kidnapping and murder, after the two allegedly exacted deadly revenge over an apparent nookie session gone bad.

Police said between Saturday night and early Sunday morning, Turnman and five others were hanging out in the apartment 19-year-old Paul Katoa shares with his pregnant girlfriend. At some point that evening, Turnman reportedly hooked up with Andrew McConnell, a friend of Katoa’s, and the two had sex. When the lovin’ was over, witnesses say Turnman got a little pissy due to “a dispute over money exchanged during the sex act” and because McConnell left before the wet spot dried.

The pissed off woman left the apartment, only to return a short time later with a friend. And that friend, Shykeem Jones, was armed with a handgun.

Police say Turnman locked the front door while Jones ordered the others, three men and two women, to hit the ground. After Jones kicked one of the men in the head, Katoa rushed him, and the two began struggling over the gun.…