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TRINITY, TX — We get so many stories regarding people biting off body parts during fights, we had to make a tag for it. Now we have another story to add to the list, this one out of Texas where a man has been accused of biting off part of another man’s nose during an argument.

According to police, 24-year-old Lance Taylor and his girlfriend got into an argument Saturday morning over money. When the girlfriend’s 18-year-old brother stepped in to try and stop the argument, police say that’s when Taylor wrestled the teen to the ground and bit off part of his nose.

When I first read this story and read that last piece of information, I almost skipped this and went on to something else because “a part of his nose” just doesn’t cut it on D’D. I knew you sickos would be disappointed with me if I wasted your time with a story about someone losing “part of his nose.” Have no fear, twisted D’D reader. After you read the next quote, you’ll see why I posted this story.…

PORTSMOUTH, N.H. — A man is in jail after a fight with his girlfriend involved him biting one of her kids and punching the other.

Police say a fight broke out between 41-year-old Edward Critten and his girlfriend over the condition of the apartment they were living in. A television was broken during the fight and the two got into a physical altercation.

When the woman’s two boys, ages 9 and 11, ran out to defend her, Critten turned on them as well.

“It was at that time that the suspect bit the 11-year-old’s chest and then punched the 9-year-old in the chest,” said Capt. Corey MacDonald with the Portsmouth Police Department.

One of the boys ran to a neighbor to have them call 911. When police arrived, they found the 11-year-old had fallen down a flight of stairs during the argument and had to be taken to the hospital.

Critten was arrested and charged with second-degree assault, two counts of simple assault and one count of criminal mischief. Not surprisingly, he has a lengthy criminal history that includes charges of possession of controlled substances and possession of a deadly weapon.…

Macon, GA – With the apparent advent of the ‘God-fearing rapist,’ what was once simply a reprehensible and horrific act of aggression and subjugation has become something… more. Case in point: Jarvis Hurey, 28.

Prosecutors charged Hurey for allegedly breaking inside a 71-year-old woman’s home early July 7 and assaulting her. According to court documents, the woman was reading in her bed that night with her back door open but with the screen door closed and locked.

Senior Assistant District Attorney Don Kelly said that the victim looked up to see Hurey at her bedroom door. Hurey reportedly ‘ran forward and covered the woman’s head with a T-shirt.’ He then tried to rape her, Kelly added.

“What that man put me through that night was very painful, unbelievable, unimaginable and excruciating,” the victim said in court testimony. “He raped me mentally and physically.”

“…before he left, he turned to me and he said, ‘Will you pray for me?’ and then he walked out the door,” the woman added.

Police reportedly found a palm print and DNA evidence linking Hurey to the crime.…

KANSAS CITY, Mo. — A 13-year-old boy is home recovering after police say two teens poured gasoline on him and then set him on fire.

According to the reports, the teen was followed home by two older teens while walking from East High School. As he was trying to get into his front door, the two teens allegedly rushed up and grabbed him. One pinned his arms behind his back while another poured gas on the boy and flicked a lighter saying, “This is what you deserve.”

This produced a large fireball that burned the teen’s face and hair. He was able to put out the flames with his shirt while his attackers ran away. The eighth-grader then called 911 before calling his father.

He was taken by ambulance to Children’s Mercy Hospital where he was kept for several hours as they treated first-degree burns to his face and head. Police said they were concerned about possible damage to his eyes and lungs while also saying they are investigating this as a possible hate crime.…

Mechanicsburg, PA – How I missed this story when it first broke is entirely beyond me.  It’s got everything:  Offensive Atheists, a zombie Muhammad, zombie Pope, a hyper-aggressive Muslim family man and a judge who doesn’t appear to understand the First Amendment.

It began at the Oct. 11 Halloween parade in Mechanicsburg, PA, where the Parading Atheists of Central Pennsylvania were doing their thing.  Mr. Ernest Perce, PA State Director of American Atheists, Inc., dressed up as zombie Muhammad among other inflammatory characters that included a zombie Pope (equal opportunity haters, us atheists).

Before he knew it, Mr. Perce was being attacked by a man obviously offended by the spirited costume.  The man choked him from behind as he attempted to rip his “Muhammad of Islam” sign from him, the audio of which was at least partially caught on video.  The attack was brief and Perce continued to walk until he bumped into Police Sgt. Brian Curtis, who took the report.

Open and closed, right?  No, see… Here’s where things go from bizarre to ridiculous. …

St. Louis, MO — An 18-year-old man who reportedly asked a friend to shoot him in the head at point-blank range earlier this week has died.

According to police, Matthew Pellegrini, 21-year-old Kevin Beindorff, and another person were sitting in a car outside Beindorff’s home late Tuesday evening when Beindorff showed his friends a revolver. For whatever reason, Pellegrini apparently asked Beindorff to shoot him. Being a real gem of a friend, Beidorff complied, firing one shot directly into Pellegrini’s forehead.

Police say Beindorff then drove his friend to a local hospital for treatment.

Initially charged with first-degree assault and armed criminal action, Beindorff’s charges were upgraded to murder Thursday, after Pellegrini was taken off life support. Bond has been set at $300,000.…

New Castle, IN — A 56-year-old woman is facing battery charges after her two young grandsons claimed she burned their tongues with a heater, causing blisters.

The injuries were discovered late last month after the boys, ages 6 and 3, were returned to their foster parents after a visit with their grandmother.

The older child reportedly told police he and his brother were ordered to line up with their tongues sticking out. Grandma then used a screen from the front of a heater to burn them.

After an investigation that spanned nearly a month, Shirley Hagerman was taken into custody on two felony counts of battery. Police say she bonded out the day after her arrest.

No word on the motive behind the alleged incident, but I’m going with crazy.…

BREMERTON, Wash. — An 8-year old girl is in critical condition after a gun being carried by a 9-year-old classmate accidentally discharged shot her in the stomach.

The shooting occurred yesterday at around 1:30 p.m. inside a third grade classroom at Armin Jahr Elementary School. The gun was inside the boy’s backpack when it discharged, hitting Amina Kocer-Bowman in the abdomen.

Police are investigating how the boy got the gun and why he brought it to school in the first place, but feel the shooting was accidental. Bowman was in critical condition last night after surgery but her friends and family gave reporters a ‘thumbs up’ signal as they left the hospital later that night.

The boy who brought the gun was booked into juvenile detention for investigation of unlawful possession of a gun, bringing a dangerous weapon to school and third-degree assault. KIRO reported that the husband of the teacher who was in the classroom when the shooting happened, said the student who allegedly had the gun was recently transferred to the school and had been a real problem in the classroom.…

Cincinnati, OH — A 60-year-old man was taken into custody over the weekend after police say he assaulted his girlfriend so severely one of her breast implants exploded.

The 52-year-old victim reportedly told police that while arguing with her boyfriend Sunday morning, she was punched in the face several times and choked. Once she was down, the boyfriend, Samuel Cole, stomped on her left breast with enough force to damage the implant, causing serious injury.

In addition, police say Cole placed his hand over the woman’s nose and mouth in an attempt to suffocate her, releasing her only after she had passed out.

Cole then transported the woman to a local hospital for treatment, but threatened to knock the crap out of her again if she told medical personnel about the alleged assault.

Hospital staff contacted police and Cole was arrested on charges of felonious assault. He’s been ordered held on $50,000 bond.

No word on the woman’s condition, but her injuries have been described as “serious.”…

Phoenix, AZ – An Iraqi mother is back in jail without bond on charges of assault against her 19-year-old daughter for allegedly beating the girl with a shoe while she was tied to a bed. Yusra Farhan was recently asked in court to explain her actions.

“I swear I didn’t hit her – only slightly, like any parent would do to their children,” answered Farhan.

So, you can see that this is going to go well for her. But, let’s back up a bit, shall we…

Last November, police were first contacted about an alleged assault of Farhan’s daughter, 19-year-old Aiya Altameemi, at the hands of Farhan and another daughter. Officer James Holmes with the Phoenix Police Department said that, in that incident, Farhan and the girl’s 18-year-old sister “held this young lady down while mom took a hot spoon and burned her on the face and on the chest.” Holmes said the burning resulted in a scar on the teen’s chest. The reason…

“The family wanted her to participate in a pre-arranged marriage with a 38-year-old male,” said Officer Holmes.…

Exton, PA — A 6-foot-4, 300-pound man was arrested Wednesday after he was seen walking around Walmart wearing nothing but socks. Socks he apparently lifted from the customer service desk.

Surveillance video of the bizarre incident shows 32-year-old Verdon Lamont Taylor exiting his vehicle in the store parking lot and stripping down to his birthday suit. He is then seen walking into the store all nekkid-like and approaching the customer service counter. It was there, police say, that Taylor found the socks in question, slipped them onto his feet and continued on his way through the aisles.

Police quickly arrived on scene, and after making contact with Taylor, were forced to subdue him with a stun gun. Once they had him strapped to a gurney, Taylor allegedly spat on the face of one of the officers.

Taylor has since been arraigned on charges of indecent exposure, aggravated assault, simple assault, retail theft, receiving stolen property and disorderly conduct, and ordered held on $50,000 cash bail.

No word on whether mental illness, drugs or alcohol were involved.…

St. James City, FL — Two women were taken into custody after police say their sad attempts to flash fellow bar patrons to earn extra beer money escalated into an attack in the parking lot.

According to Lee deputies, 28-year-old Alicia Martin, left, and her pal Kathryn Rayannic, 24, had run out of cash while getting plastered at The Waterfront restaurant Wednesday, and were offering to bare their boobies for beer money.

“We had five guys that were like, ‘Please, leave us alone,'” said waiter Shaun Bassett. “They actually went up to tables who had their wives there.”

Sadly, the two women had no takers at all.

“Basically when they were turned down, they kind of got a little rowdy,” Bassett said.

After receiving numerous complaints about their bawdy behavior, restaurant staff attempted to remove the pathetic souses from the premises. It was then that Martin allegedly responded by shoving a female employee into a wall. The alleged assault continued after the party exited the building, with Martin punching the same female employee in the back of the head.…

Deltona, FL — Steven Saul, an apparent time-traveler from the golden age of Cro-Magnon man, can boast an extra-ordinarily low hairline, ears of which Dumbo would be jealous, a face that belongs in a bell-tower, and now, a charge of aggravated battery on a person older than 65. He cannot, however, claim to have the strength of even his 84 year-old grandmother, Lucille Cameron, with whom he shares a residence. In my estimation, the only thing this dude is missing is a “Winner” tattoo on his forehead.

It seems as if “Encino Man” Saul found himself short on money, and high on the urge to party. His alleged answer? Solicit some drug funds from his 84 year-old grandma, of course.

When she proved herself unwilling to cooperate, Mr. Saul reportedly got a tad physical with her wrinkly ass and, when she attempted to leave the residence they share, pushed her from behind, causing her to punch her car with her face, at least that’s the story the smudge-marks on the rear passenger-side window are telling.…

LAFAYETTE, Ind. — Here’s an example of why, no matter how much they paid me, I could never be a public school teacher. Video released yesterday shows the assistant principal at an Indiana high school being attacked by a student.

According to reports, a group of kids were goofing off in a hallways of Lafayette Jefferson High School when the school’s assistant principal was hit in the head by a flying bag of Cheetos.

When the assistant principal tried to get the boy responsible to come with him to the office, the teen resisted. When the assistant principal put his hand on the boy’s elbow, the teen flipped and grabbed the man by the throat before they both toppled to the ground.

The video begins shortly after the pair had fallen to the ground with the teen refusing to let go of the older man. When another teacher steps in to pull the student off the assistant principal, he has one hell of a time doing so.

Although nobody was seriously injured in the melee, aside from the teacher seen pulling the student off getting a cut on the nose, the student involved may be facing some serious consequences.…

Gainesville, FL — Marvelle Rucker, 21, was taken into custody Sunday after admitting to police that he tried to smother his girlfriend’s cat because it caused him to fail an online exam.

Rucker’s girlfriend told police the cat was lethargic and unresponsive when she returned home from work Sunday afternoon. Also, in what I would have to assume was an argument over the state of the cat’s health, police say Rucker cornered the girlfriend in the bathroom and yelled at her and repeatedly poked her in the face for about 10 or 15 minutes.

When questioned about the cat, Rucker reportedly laughed as he told the arresting officer he placed a pillow over the critter’s face and punched it. He was trying to kill it, he said, because the damn thing caused him to fail a test.

Rucker admitted to cornering his girlfriend in the bathroom, telling police he wasn’t going to let her out until she listened to what he had to say. He also admitted to poking the woman in the face, but said that because he wasn’t actually beating her, he didn’t think it was a crime.…

CAMDENTON, MO — Police have charged a woman with first degree assault and armed criminal action after she slit her baby’s throat. This came months after she told a minister she was possessed by demons and was afraid she was going to hurt her daughter.

According to the probable cause statement, Tyler Tebrock called police to report that his mother, 39-year-old Bradie Simpson, and his 9-month-old sister were missing. He was concerned because he had found blood and a bloody knife in his mother’s bedroom.

Police searched the area and would find Simpson holding her blood-soaked baby in some woods nearby a few hours later. The infant was unresponsive, suffering from a neck wound and Simpson would not say a word to police.

They were both rushed to the hospital where the baby underwent emergency surgery and is expected to make a full recovery. Doctors say that had it not been for the cold weather and the quick responses of all involved, the little girl would have probably died.

So far no motive has been given, but police did find a plastic baggie and two spoons in her room, one of which tested positive for heroin.…

BETHANY, Okla. — Police say a Southern Nazarene University student was stabbed while feeding the homeless this past Saturday.

Zachary Smith, 21, and another student from the university bought a homeless man a pizza and were ministering to him before Smith was attacked. Reports say Smith placed the pizza on the ground near the man right before the man hit Smith in the head and stabbed him several times in the chest.

The students were able to drive to a doughnut shop and call 911. Smith was taken to the hospital, treated for his wounds and then released. His attacker, described as a white male in his 40s, has not been located.

SNU spokeswoman Sarah Roberts said the students were acting on their own and within the school’s motto of  “Character, Culture, Christ Almighty This Asshole Is Trying To F*cking Kill Me”

“We are deeply concerned for the students that were involved in this traumatic experience and are most grateful that the injuries sustained were not more serious. The students involved were acting compassionately, as many of our students do on a daily basis, serving the community and meeting human needs as they encounter them,” she said in a statement.…

Helena, MT – Sherwin Shayegan, 28, admitted in court to jumping on two soccer players at a state high school tournament held in Helena in October and demanding piggyback rides.

“I made a mistake,” Shayegan told Helena Municipal Court Judge Bob Wood.  “I was just trying to be funny and get a piggyback ride.”

Innocent fun? You decide…

Deputy Helena City Attorney Luke Berger pointed out at the hearing that Shayegan has already been, in fact, permanently banned from any high school sporting event in the state of Montana by the Montana High School Association. Add to this that Shayegan himself told police at the time of his arrest that he is also banned from school sporting events in the states of Washington and Oregon.

The piggyback attacks are not limited to sporting events, though. In September 2009, Shayegan was charged with fourth-degree sexual assault after reportedly telling a high-school athlete that he wanted to interview him for a term paper. Police said that, after the student noticed that Shayegan was behaving strangely and attempted to leave, Shayegan also jumped on that student’s back and demanded a piggy back ride.…