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Ann Arbor, Michigan – Not a lot of details on this one, but authorities have reported a 42-year-old man knocked his wife unconscious with a pineapple during an argument inside the couple’s home.

Police say the 32-year-old woman checked into the University of Michigan Hospital last Friday night, but hasn’t been cooperating with their investigation. She is only giving them basic information and no details regarding the fight or what prompted it.

Hospital staff, who notified police of the assault, are also the ones who informed police that they believed the woman had been struck by the fruit.

Police did find evidence of a fight in the couple’s home and have asked the Washtenaw Count prosecutor’s office to review a request for an arrest warrant for the husband. No word on if the couple have a history of violence.…

New Haven, CT – Michael Wallace, 40, was arrested Saturday after continuously pounding his wife with a six-pack of beer and a coffee pot.

Police officers were dispatched to the couple’s home  after receiving a complaint of domestic violence. Wallace’s common law wife, Chastiny Atkinson, had several visible bruises from the attack.

Atkinson confirmed that Wallace was intoxicated when he began arguing with her over “two dudes that don’t even exist.” He was unsatisfied with the damage caused by the coffee pot he started beating her with so he proceeded to pick up a six-pack of beer and began beating her with that as well.

He then ripped hair from her head and began choking her. Before fleeing the scene, Wallace warned her that if she called the police, he would seek retribution. Police were called back to the scene two hours later after a report that Wallace was trying to enter the home. Wallace was located in his car several blocks away.

His side of the story is a little different than Atkinson’s.…

LOWER ALLEN TOWNSHIP, PA — A man in Pennsylvania is facing assault charges after he took his frustration a bit too far and punched a woman several times following a road rage incident.

Police say that last Tuesday, 44-year-old Stephen Kramer got pissed after he was cut off in traffic by a 31-year-old woman. He was so pissed that he followed the woman to a Gold’s Gym and began screaming at her in the parking lot.

As they both entered the gym, witnesses say Kramer punched the lady several times, knocking her to the floor. Other gym members subdued Kramer until police arrived.

The woman was taken to the hospital for facial injuries while Kramer was taken to jail on charges of aggravated assault, simple assault, disorderly conduct, harassment and recklessly endangering another person.

Lord knows I have wanted to punch my fair share of women drivers because let’s be honest, you all suck at driving, but so far I have not acted on my impulses. What? Oh, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean you specifically.…

Tampa, FL — Steve Lott, 30, was taken into custody Tuesday after he apparently called 911 to report he had cut his neighbor with a “big-ass knife” because the man had entered his home.

When police arrived on scene, they found 56-year-old Tony Jackson suffering from a massive wound to the gut. So massive, police say, his internal organs and intestines were visible and/or falling out.

According to investigators, after a long standing dispute with Jackson, Lott had finally had enough and walked over to the man’s home and opened up his gut with his big-ass, razor-sharp knife.

Police say Lott resisted arrest and was tasered while being taken into custody. And though he later admitted to quarreling with Jackson, he denied stabbing the guy. Lott is now facing charges of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and resisting an officer without violence.

Prosecutors have asked for increased bond, calling Lott a habitual violent offender. (Lott spent a year in prison after he was convicted of assaulting a pregnant woman with a deadly weapon and holding her captive in his home back in ’07).…

Springfield, MA — After his son’s team lost a 6th grade basketball game, Timothy Lee Forbes has been accused of attacking the winning team’s coach and biting off part of the coach’s ear.

The incident happened on Friday after his son’s team lost in the Catholic Youth Organization finals. While kids from both teams were shaking hands, words were exchanged between the two men, leading to Forbes punching the man and then biting off part of his ear.

Forbes fled the scene after other people at the game were able to pull him off the coach. Reports are that several of the 10-12 year old kids were knocked to the floor and left crying after the melee.

The injured coach was rushed to the hospital where doctors there were able to reattach the piece of his ear that had been removed. He has since been released and has returned home.

Timothy Lee Forbes eventually turned himself in to police and pleaded not guilty to charges of disorderly conduct, assault and battery, and felony mayhem.…

Woman Bit Off Husband’s Lip During Argument

March 13, 2012 at 11:44 am by  

Elyria, OH — Ameryst Blaylock, 26, made her first court appearance Monday to answer to charges of felonious assault and domestic violence after police say she bit off a portion of her husband’s lip during an argument earlier this month.

According to court documents, Ameryst and her husband Thomas had been involved in some sort of verbal altercation in the early morning hours of March 9, when the woman went all pit bull on him and attempted to chew off his face.

Ameryst allegedly socked her hubby in the face before declaring that if he didn’t want her anymore, she’d make damn sure no one would ever want him again. With that, she pounced on him, bit off the right side of his lower lip and spit it out.

Hubby hightailed it to the ER, sans lip. Unfortunately for him, the injury was too extensive for the lip to be reattached, so police just tossed the chunk of face meat after recovering it from the couple’s home.

In court, Thomas Blaylock claimed he is in no danger and asked the judge to lift a no-contact order so he and his “loving” wife could attend marriage counseling.…

Brussels, Belgium – Richard Remes, 57, is on trial in a Belgium court for injuries he inflicted on a woman who had recently ended their relationship.

Remes’ victim had been quoted as saying, “I just hope that I get to tell the court what I experienced, and how it hurt.” With Remes’ trial for attempted murder now underway, she finally has her chance and was in court to testify against him.

Patricia Lefranc, 48, told court members that she was, ‘determined to look him in the eye and show the jury what he has done to me’.

According to court documents, on December 1, 2009, Remes was waiting for Lefranc as she exited an elevator in the Brussels suburb of Molenbeek-Saint-Jean. Lefranc told the court that Remes – with whom she had terminated an affair – sprayed sulphuric acid all over her head and upper body. Remes was married with children at the time.

After the attack, Lefranc said she was convinced that she would die, but neighbors heard her screams and managed to get her to a nearby hospital.…

DANBURY, CT — Police have arrested a homeless couple after they were caught having sex in public at a Connecticut ice rink.

According to reports, someone called police on 41-year-old Jonathan Price and 38-year-old Shannon McClung after observing them having sex on a stage at the Danbury Ice Arena. The stage is open on all sides and normally used for concerts during the summer.

Both Price and McClung, who live in local homeless shelters, were arrested and charged with breach of peace and public and are being held on $500 bonds.

While the mental image of these two bumping uglies causes my dick to run down the street screaming in horror after recoiling backwards through my butthole, I did find it humorous that at the time of their arrest several adult women were gathered around the stage watching them.…

TRINITY, TX — We get so many stories regarding people biting off body parts during fights, we had to make a tag for it. Now we have another story to add to the list, this one out of Texas where a man has been accused of biting off part of another man’s nose during an argument.

According to police, 24-year-old Lance Taylor and his girlfriend got into an argument Saturday morning over money. When the girlfriend’s 18-year-old brother stepped in to try and stop the argument, police say that’s when Taylor wrestled the teen to the ground and bit off part of his nose.

When I first read this story and read that last piece of information, I almost skipped this and went on to something else because “a part of his nose” just doesn’t cut it on D’D. I knew you sickos would be disappointed with me if I wasted your time with a story about someone losing “part of his nose.” Have no fear, twisted D’D reader. After you read the next quote, you’ll see why I posted this story.…

PORTSMOUTH, N.H. — A man is in jail after a fight with his girlfriend involved him biting one of her kids and punching the other.

Police say a fight broke out between 41-year-old Edward Critten and his girlfriend over the condition of the apartment they were living in. A television was broken during the fight and the two got into a physical altercation.

When the woman’s two boys, ages 9 and 11, ran out to defend her, Critten turned on them as well.

“It was at that time that the suspect bit the 11-year-old’s chest and then punched the 9-year-old in the chest,” said Capt. Corey MacDonald with the Portsmouth Police Department.

One of the boys ran to a neighbor to have them call 911. When police arrived, they found the 11-year-old had fallen down a flight of stairs during the argument and had to be taken to the hospital.

Critten was arrested and charged with second-degree assault, two counts of simple assault and one count of criminal mischief. Not surprisingly, he has a lengthy criminal history that includes charges of possession of controlled substances and possession of a deadly weapon.…

Macon, GA – With the apparent advent of the ‘God-fearing rapist,’ what was once simply a reprehensible and horrific act of aggression and subjugation has become something… more. Case in point: Jarvis Hurey, 28.

Prosecutors charged Hurey for allegedly breaking inside a 71-year-old woman’s home early July 7 and assaulting her. According to court documents, the woman was reading in her bed that night with her back door open but with the screen door closed and locked.

Senior Assistant District Attorney Don Kelly said that the victim looked up to see Hurey at her bedroom door. Hurey reportedly ‘ran forward and covered the woman’s head with a T-shirt.’ He then tried to rape her, Kelly added.

“What that man put me through that night was very painful, unbelievable, unimaginable and excruciating,” the victim said in court testimony. “He raped me mentally and physically.”

“…before he left, he turned to me and he said, ‘Will you pray for me?’ and then he walked out the door,” the woman added.

Police reportedly found a palm print and DNA evidence linking Hurey to the crime.…

KANSAS CITY, Mo. — A 13-year-old boy is home recovering after police say two teens poured gasoline on him and then set him on fire.

According to the reports, the teen was followed home by two older teens while walking from East High School. As he was trying to get into his front door, the two teens allegedly rushed up and grabbed him. One pinned his arms behind his back while another poured gas on the boy and flicked a lighter saying, “This is what you deserve.”

This produced a large fireball that burned the teen’s face and hair. He was able to put out the flames with his shirt while his attackers ran away. The eighth-grader then called 911 before calling his father.

He was taken by ambulance to Children’s Mercy Hospital where he was kept for several hours as they treated first-degree burns to his face and head. Police said they were concerned about possible damage to his eyes and lungs while also saying they are investigating this as a possible hate crime.…

Mechanicsburg, PA – How I missed this story when it first broke is entirely beyond me.  It’s got everything:  Offensive Atheists, a zombie Muhammad, zombie Pope, a hyper-aggressive Muslim family man and a judge who doesn’t appear to understand the First Amendment.

It began at the Oct. 11 Halloween parade in Mechanicsburg, PA, where the Parading Atheists of Central Pennsylvania were doing their thing.  Mr. Ernest Perce, PA State Director of American Atheists, Inc., dressed up as zombie Muhammad among other inflammatory characters that included a zombie Pope (equal opportunity haters, us atheists).

Before he knew it, Mr. Perce was being attacked by a man obviously offended by the spirited costume.  The man choked him from behind as he attempted to rip his “Muhammad of Islam” sign from him, the audio of which was at least partially caught on video.  The attack was brief and Perce continued to walk until he bumped into Police Sgt. Brian Curtis, who took the report.

Open and closed, right?  No, see… Here’s where things go from bizarre to ridiculous. …

St. Louis, MO — An 18-year-old man who reportedly asked a friend to shoot him in the head at point-blank range earlier this week has died.

According to police, Matthew Pellegrini, 21-year-old Kevin Beindorff, and another person were sitting in a car outside Beindorff’s home late Tuesday evening when Beindorff showed his friends a revolver. For whatever reason, Pellegrini apparently asked Beindorff to shoot him. Being a real gem of a friend, Beidorff complied, firing one shot directly into Pellegrini’s forehead.

Police say Beindorff then drove his friend to a local hospital for treatment.

Initially charged with first-degree assault and armed criminal action, Beindorff’s charges were upgraded to murder Thursday, after Pellegrini was taken off life support. Bond has been set at $300,000.…

New Castle, IN — A 56-year-old woman is facing battery charges after her two young grandsons claimed she burned their tongues with a heater, causing blisters.

The injuries were discovered late last month after the boys, ages 6 and 3, were returned to their foster parents after a visit with their grandmother.

The older child reportedly told police he and his brother were ordered to line up with their tongues sticking out. Grandma then used a screen from the front of a heater to burn them.

After an investigation that spanned nearly a month, Shirley Hagerman was taken into custody on two felony counts of battery. Police say she bonded out the day after her arrest.

No word on the motive behind the alleged incident, but I’m going with crazy.…

BREMERTON, Wash. — An 8-year old girl is in critical condition after a gun being carried by a 9-year-old classmate accidentally discharged shot her in the stomach.

The shooting occurred yesterday at around 1:30 p.m. inside a third grade classroom at Armin Jahr Elementary School. The gun was inside the boy’s backpack when it discharged, hitting Amina Kocer-Bowman in the abdomen.

Police are investigating how the boy got the gun and why he brought it to school in the first place, but feel the shooting was accidental. Bowman was in critical condition last night after surgery but her friends and family gave reporters a ‘thumbs up’ signal as they left the hospital later that night.

The boy who brought the gun was booked into juvenile detention for investigation of unlawful possession of a gun, bringing a dangerous weapon to school and third-degree assault. KIRO reported that the husband of the teacher who was in the classroom when the shooting happened, said the student who allegedly had the gun was recently transferred to the school and had been a real problem in the classroom.…

Cincinnati, OH — A 60-year-old man was taken into custody over the weekend after police say he assaulted his girlfriend so severely one of her breast implants exploded.

The 52-year-old victim reportedly told police that while arguing with her boyfriend Sunday morning, she was punched in the face several times and choked. Once she was down, the boyfriend, Samuel Cole, stomped on her left breast with enough force to damage the implant, causing serious injury.

In addition, police say Cole placed his hand over the woman’s nose and mouth in an attempt to suffocate her, releasing her only after she had passed out.

Cole then transported the woman to a local hospital for treatment, but threatened to knock the crap out of her again if she told medical personnel about the alleged assault.

Hospital staff contacted police and Cole was arrested on charges of felonious assault. He’s been ordered held on $50,000 bond.

No word on the woman’s condition, but her injuries have been described as “serious.”…

Phoenix, AZ – An Iraqi mother is back in jail without bond on charges of assault against her 19-year-old daughter for allegedly beating the girl with a shoe while she was tied to a bed. Yusra Farhan was recently asked in court to explain her actions.

“I swear I didn’t hit her – only slightly, like any parent would do to their children,” answered Farhan.

So, you can see that this is going to go well for her. But, let’s back up a bit, shall we…

Last November, police were first contacted about an alleged assault of Farhan’s daughter, 19-year-old Aiya Altameemi, at the hands of Farhan and another daughter. Officer James Holmes with the Phoenix Police Department said that, in that incident, Farhan and the girl’s 18-year-old sister “held this young lady down while mom took a hot spoon and burned her on the face and on the chest.” Holmes said the burning resulted in a scar on the teen’s chest. The reason…

“The family wanted her to participate in a pre-arranged marriage with a 38-year-old male,” said Officer Holmes.…