School Janitor Brian Cleveland Accused Of Raping 12-Year-Old Adopted DaughterBody Of Julie Mott Stolen From Casket At Texas Funeral HomeFormer Subway Spokesman Jared Fogle To Plea Guilty To Sex With Minors, Child Porn ChargesKiria Ferris Barricaded Toddlers In Apartment To Go Drinking At Margarita FestMichael Rush Caught On Camera Hitting Police With A Small DogMichael May Jailed After Trying To Dig Up Dad's Grave To Argue With CorpseTwo Men Charged In Connection With The Murder Of Doctor Teresa SieversWaiter Poured Boiling Water Over Lady Who Complained About ServiceRobert Smith Charged With Murder, Squeezed Baby Until Something CrackedMan Fell To His Death Trying To Stop Teen From Jumping Off Dorm Ledge

Los Altos, CA — In what prosecutors are describing as a “carefully plotted” attempt to kill her estranged husband, 50-year-old Laura Jean Wenke, dressed in coveralls, rubber boots and bubble wrap, approached the man from behind and proceeded to get stabby.

According to police, wacky Wenke showed up at the couple’s business, identified as Wenke Construction, at about 7:00 p.m. on September 15. I don’t know how she managed to sneak up on the man, but squeak sneak she did. Police say she hit him once in the ribs with a stun gun and stabbed him multiple times in the neck and chest as he sat at his computer.

The man somehow survived the sneak attack and notified police – officers found him bleeding outside the business. He was taken to Stanford Hospital in critical condition and released a week later.

Wenke, for all of her “careful” planning, apparently failed to draw up an escape plan…she was apprehended inside the building, her bubble wrap outfit streaked with blood.

Why all the hatred?…

Yeadon, PA — Police say four men who orchestrated an armed heist of a 13-year old’s meatball sandwich are now in custody. As a result, meatball sandwich brokers worldwide – who are often the target of organized meatball sandwich theft rings – are breathing a collective sigh of relief.

According to court documents, on Saturday night, the young man had just bought a meatball sandwich at a nearby deli. While on his way home, two men – possibly aware that the teen would be transporting a meatball sandwich – exited a black Ford Expedition and approached him.

One of the men, later identified as Rashawn Ameer Mallory, 21, (pictured) displayed a black revolver. The probable-cause affidavit quotes Mallory as telling the teen, “Whatever you do, don’t move,” and then adding, “If you do anything, I’ll cap you.” A second assailant, later identified as Ernest Wellington Barnett, 22, went through the teens pockets. Police say that the suspects established that – other than the meatball sandwich – the teen had nothing of value.…

Bonita Springs, FL – A man in Florida is in jail facing battery charges for allegedly beating up his girlfriend after she woke him up playing with a sex toy in bed.

Police were called to the home of 53-year-old Jeffery Bowers where they found his girlfriend in the front yard sporting a swollen eye and bruises on her arm. She told police that Bowers had kicked her in the face, dragged her through the home and locked her out of the house.

Bowers’ side of the story was a little different. He said he had brought his girlfriend over so she could make him something to eat. Later that night he was awakened by the sound of his girlfriend playing with a sex toy. He asked her to stop so he could sleep and then asked her to retrieve his cigarettes off the front porch. When she walked outside to get them, he locked the door behind her.

I’m not excusing the guy if he did indeed beat this woman, but I have to admit that bringing a girl over to fix dinner, then having sex with her before locking her out of the house sounds a lot like a Morbid date night.…

Man Injured In Halloween Chainsaw Attack

November 2, 2011 at 5:48 am by  

Salt Lake City, UT — A 48-year-old man escorting a woman and her 2-year-old daughter while trick-or-treating Monday night was injured in what police believe was a random chainsaw attack carried out by a man in a multi-colored mask.

Very few details at this time, but based on what the woman told police, the chainsaw carrying masked man approached the trio at about 10:00 p.m. As the victim raised his arm to fend off the attack, the saw made contact with his forearm, causing a deep gash.

According to Salt Lake City Police Det. Cary Wichmann, judging by the injury to the man’s arm, it appears as if the saw was running, but without the chain.

“Similar to what is used at haunted houses to give people a scare,” he said. “Even without a chain, the saw can injure.”

Police were unable to get much of a suspect description – in addition to a language barrier and a very frightened and freaked-out woman, the victim was already under sedation at the hospital by the time the authorities were even notified.…

Rapid City, SD – David Spencer, 54, from Kent in the UK, was arrested Monday after an employee in a South Dakota shopping mall complained that his attempt to sell her a sex fetish paddle went too far. Well… just a little too far.

RCPD spokesperson Tarah Heupel reported that the female employee of Northern Lights Art said Spencer came into the store Saturday and tried to sell her a sex fetish paddle for $10. She reportedly refused. The complaint then described Spencer offering to let the employee spank him for $1 – highlighting, of course, the low cost of living in South Dakota. The victim told police she let Spencer smack her ass once with the paddle, but – according to the criminal complaint – Spencer allegedly spanked her a second time without her permission.

The employee did not report the incident to police until she spotted Spencer in the mall again on Monday. She then called mall security, who, in turn, called police.  During the investigation, Spencer told police he was, essentially, funding his travels through the US one fetish paddle and/or spank at a time.…

Chicago, IL — Tim Snyder, 36, has been accused of stabbing a man with a corkscrew after he broke into two separate apartments in search of beer early Saturday morning.

Snyder reportedly forced his way into the first apartment at about 4:00 a.m., demanded beer and began rummaging through the refrigerator. Empty handed and angry, police say Snyder punched the apartment’s occupant before exiting the home and continuing with his quest.

Just moments later, Snyder entered another apartment in the building where he was immediately confronted by a male resident. The two scrapped for a bit before Snyder armed himself with a corkscrew and stabbed the man in the back. Other residents in the apartment were able to hold Snyder until police arrived. The guy who got corkscrewed ended up with about 22 stitches.

He apparently hadn’t calmed down any in the time it took for the police to get there. Snyder reportedly threatened one of the arresting officers, telling him, “I live in the district. I’m going to kill your ass – you can’t lock me up forever.” He then asked the officer if he wanted some AIDS and spat on him.…

Woman Arrested In Potato Salad Rage

October 30, 2011 at 4:21 am by  

Palm Coast, FL — The delightful-lookin’ chickie to the left is 45-year-old Karen Henry – she’s here today because she reportedly threatened to get all stabby after her elderly father denied her a helping of his potato salad.

According to police, Henry pitched the vicious fit last week after her 80-year-old father told her she couldn’t have any of his potato salad. Enraged, Henry began throwing items around the house. She then allegedly grabbed a large kitchen knife and threatened the man, waving it in his general direction several times. Police said the man grabbed a kitchen chair and fended his daughter off long enough to call 911. Fortunately, the man was not injured. Physically, that is. Can you imagine that woman coming at you with a friggin’ butcher knife? That would be enough to give me nightmares for a month.

Henry was placed under arrest and charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. As she was being transported to the pokey, she complained of abdominal pains and was taken to the hospital for an examination.…

San Mateo, CA – Vittorio Vincent Valdez, 27, is clearly in need of the type of guidance that only Demonites can provide. This after the Half Moon Bay, California man punched his 82-year-old grandmother in the face several times, according to police. Please do not let him down.

San Mateo prosecutors allege that at approximately 11:30PM on Sept. 24, Valdez’ grandmother was driving him from Palo Alto to Half Moon Bay in her car because he has a suspended license. According to reports, Valdez grew angry at the slow speed at which she was driving and pushed down his grandmother’s right leg to accelerate the vehicle. District Attorney Steve Wagstaffe said that the woman became frightened woman and tried pulling into a Shell gas station for help. Valdez then reportedly ‘yanked her from the driver’s seat and threw her into the passenger side.’ Prosecutors allege that Valdez then punched her in the face several times and kept her inside when she tried to exit.

A witness at a nearby 7-Eleven called 911.…

Oxford, MA — A man who allegedly threatened to abduct a 13-year-old girl he had been stalking was arrested at his home Monday after a brief scuffle with police.

According to authorities, 38-year-old Kelly Hoose placed a call to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children Thursday and told the person on the other end of the line that he had been stalking the girl, admitting that he had been following her school bus on and off for three months. Hoose reportedly said he loved the “curly-haired” teen, wanted to kiss her and planned to take her to his house. Police say he then gave the operator his full name, address and license plate number.

The agency immediately contacted Massachusetts State Police. Surveillance was placed at school bus stops on Friday and police began tailing Hoose. When he spotted the tail on Monday, Hoose allegedly rammed a police cruiser and sped off. After a brief pursuit, Hoose was arrested at his home. But not before he attempted to arm himself with a knife.…

Cheat At Monopoly? That’s A Stabbin’

October 28, 2011 at 1:57 am by  

Santa Fe, NM — Laura Chavez, 60, was taken into custody early Wednesday morning for allegedly stabbing her boyfriend during an intense game of Monopoly.

According to police, the two had been playing Monopoly with Chavez’s 10-year-old grandson before the alleged poking occurred. The boy told police the couple began arguing because his grandma believed her boyfriend was cheating at the game. Though police have yet to specify how he was cheating, my guess is that he either palmed Boardwalk and Park Place, or was pilfering 100’s from the bank.

Fortunately, the boy didn’t witness any of the ensuing bloodshed…the real violence started after he was sent to bed.

After the grandkiddo was tucked in for the night, it was on. Chavez allegedly knocked the boyfriend upside the skull with a glass bottle. Police say she then grabbed hold of a butcher knife and proceeded to repeatedly stab the 48-year-old man, causing injuries to the top of his head, neck, left eyebrow and right wrist area.

When police arrived, Chavez mentioned that her boyfriend had pushed her and she asked him to leave her apartment.…

MESA, AZ – Police say that a burglar and his victim got into a scuffle that ended with the victim losing a portion of his ear and a burglar losing his pants.

When Manuel Corrales and his wife returned home Friday afternoon, they encountered 23-year-old Joshua Kyle Randall in their bedroom rifling through their things.

Corrales and Randall got into a physical confrontation while Corrales’ wife called 911. When she returned to help her husband, Randall grabbed her by the hair and threatened to harm her if Corrales did not let go of him.

She would break free and run screaming to the neighbors for help. After hitting Corrales multiple times with a brass candlestick holder and a piece of a broken sink, Randall would bite off a chunk of Corrales’ ear. Randall would finally get out of Corrales’ grip and run out of the house. But not without leaving some things behind.

“I grabbed him with my legs and he ran out of the room with his boxers on,” said Corrales.…

BAKER, LA — A teacher in Louisiana lost it the other day and is now in jail after reportedly choking a 6-year-old student.

The incident happened on the campus playground of an unnamed school where a 6-year-old girl was doing something that really got under 65-year-old Mildred Russ’ skin and had her losing any semblance of patience or control.

First she wrapped her legs around the girl to keep her from moving then tied the girl’s sweater around her neck, squeezing it every time she tried. Russ finally dragged the girl to the principal’s office, pulling her out of her shoes in the process.

For her actions, Russ was arrested on a charge of cruelty to a juvenile and booked into the East Baton Rouge Parish Prison. I know some will come in here and back this teacher in some fashion, citing disrespectful kids, lack of parenting, etc, etc. But I don’t choke disrespectful kids in the grocery store or in my neighborhood, whether they deserved it or not. If I ever do, I would deserve to be in jail just like Mrs.…

Chandler, AZ — Martin Soto, 43, is facing an assault charge after admitting to police that he licked a woman’s injured knee after she took a tumble in a parking lot last week.

According to the charging documents, the victim was walking to her car after work at the Intel plant Thursday when she tripped and fell, scraping her left knee. While she was on the ground, three men drove up in a golf cart. After helping her to her feet and making sure she was not seriously injured, two of the men left. Soto stuck around and followed the woman to her vehicle.

Soto reportedly told the woman he felt obligated to inform the plant’s medical crew of the injury and asked if he could look at her knee to determine if such a call should be made. Thinking nothing of it, the woman rolled up the leg of her pants and exposed her boo-boo, at which point Soto leaned down and gave said boo-boo a good lickin’.

The woman told police she “freaked” and immediately pushed her pant leg down.…

Newcastle, Australia – According to police, Richard McDonald, 25, suspected his girlfriend was having an affair with her boss when she started spending more time at her new job. The girlfriend decided to leave McDonald in early March. She arranged a moving party, of sorts, to get her out of the home they shared. McDonald reportedly made it clear to the woman and her boss that her boss was not welcome. Despite this, her boss arrived to help with the move.

On the day of the move, it was reported that the woman and another woman were struggling with a television when McDonald and another man approached to take over. As the women set the TV down, the woman’s boss came over and said, “Two women struggling with a TV and you won’t even help them, you fucking weirdo.”

The boss, picking up the TV, then reportedly added “Does it take two pussies to pick up a TV?”

Clearly not amused, McDonald reportedly went upstairs, retrieved a speargun, came back downstairs and went outside in search of the boss. …

Dallas, TX — If you are the gentleman responsible for assaulting a woman with a frozen armadillo last month, police would like to have a word with you. So would I….

The assault apparently occurred at a Dallas apartment complex late last month after the suspect and victim argued of the price of the dead, frozen critter. According to police, at some point during the haggling, the suspect tossed the carcass at the woman – twice – hitting her in the leg and then in the chest.

The man reportedly fled after the incident, leaving the victim bruised and presumably carcassless. If and when he’s caught, police say he could be charged with assault.

Why all the violence over the deceased ‘dillo? The woman apparently wanted to dine on the overgrown roly poly. That leaves me with a few questions….

Up until this very moment, I had no friggin’ clue people actually consumed armadillos. (Call me unworldy, but the most exotic thing I’ve ever had in my mouth was attached to a French dude named Franck).…

YELM, Wash. — A couple have gotten themselves into some trouble after doling out a rather unorthodox form of punishment on to their 16-year-old daughter after she went to a party without permission.

After her father, 38-year-old Fremon Seay, picked the teen up from what he called a “crack house,” he brought her home and whipped her legs with a switch while he sat on her back. Feeling that this punishment wasn’t adequate, Seay came up with a radical form of punishment — a sword fight.

Seay, being one of those “Renaissance fighters” who dress up in medieval garb and participates in mock sword fights, figured out a way to discipline his daughter and get in some training at the same time.

He suited up in medieval armor then made the girl do the same, handing her a wooden sword. Then, from 2 to 4 a.m. Sunday, he forced the girl to duel him in the front yard until “she could no longer stand from exhaustion.”

When the fight was over and Seay declared victory, he reportedly apologized to his daughter when he saw the extensive bruises she had suffered to her face, torso and legs, telling her that he did not mean for things to go that far. …

Greenwich Village, NY — We’ve seen our fair share of McDonald’s beat-downs here at the Dreamin’ Demon, but this one has a bit of a twist to it. In this particular case, a male employee is accused of assaulting two female customers with some sort of metal rod after they verbally and physically assaulted him.

It all started at about 12:30 Thursday morning. The two women were fixin’ to pay for their order with a $50 bill. The male employee in question, 31-year-old Rayon McIntosh, told the women he needed to scan their bill for authenticity before giving them their food. This apparently displeased them. The women, identified as Denise Darbeau and Rachel Edwards, both 24, can be heard swearing at McIntosh, saying, “Do something about it, pussy.” And as is evident in the attached video, Darbeau leans over the counter and slaps McIntosh across the face. McIntosh then retreats into the back of the restaurant.

At that point, Darbeau vaults over the counter while her buddy walks around the side to confront McIntosh.…

Lanham, MD – Antoinette Starks, 55, was arrested Tuesday morning in the parking lot of the local Target after she allegedly stabbed a female shopper who was loading purchases into her car.  When police arrived, they found the victim in the parking lot with multiple stab wounds. Starks was also in the parking lot. She was said to be holding knives that she had stolen earlier from a nearby store.

Police said Starks ignored their requests to drop the knives and continued walking through the parking lot. She was promptly tazed and taken into custody.

Police said Starks – a schizophrenic who, among other things, suffers from a paranoid fear of white people – had recently been released from a psychiatric facility into a group home. This after Administrative Law Judge Una M. Perez declared that Starks has been free of symptoms of her mental disorder since at least May 2007. Citing a doctor’s opinion, Perez – along with her recommendation of a group home – ordered that Starks take her medications as prescribed, not possess weapons, and ‘abide by other conditions.’

Hmmm… I wonder how she did on abiding by those other conditions…

Interestingly, Starks had been placed in the psychatric facility in the first place after chasing – and then stabbing – two women at the Nordstrom in the Westfield Montgomery Mall in 2005.…