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Mom Found 3-Year-Old Son Dead After Leaving Him Home Alone For 20 HoursHolly Morrison Accused Of Allowing Boyfriend To Sexually Assault Child RelativeDisney Cruise Line Worker Accused Of Molesting 13-Year-Old Passenger Police Officer's Son Charged With Stabbing Death Of Five Students At PartyRapper Andre Johnson Cut Off His Penis Before Jumping From BuildingAmber Alert Issued For Teen After Alleged Kidnapper Calls To Taunt FamilyMan Who Killed Little Brother Slit Cellmate's Throat With Playing CardMegan Huntsman Accused Of Using Garage To Store Her Murdered BabiesMostly Nekkid Lady Goes On Rampage Inside McD's; Breaks Stuff, Eats Ice CreamDemetrio Campbell Accused Of Breaking Into Home, Raping 4-Year-Old Girl

Woman Writes Book On Foster Care, Then Abuses Her Foster KidsLas Vegas, NV — This has got to hurt book sales. A Las Vegas woman who published a book entitled Foster Care: How to Fix this Corrupted System, was accused of depriving her three adopted daughters of food, refusing to let them go to the bathroom, and beating them.

Janet Solander, 53, racked up a slew of serious child abuse and sexual assault charges. Her husband and daughter faced criminal charges as well.

According to public records in Nevada, Solander’s adopted daughters are sisters aged 9, 11, and 12. They had been in foster care since 2010 and were adopted in 2011. Solander also took care of four other foster children who were removed in February.

Child Protective Services caught up with the sisters after they had been sent to a boarding school in Florida. There the girls told authorities about the abuse and that they feared their adoptive mother would kill them if they returned to Las Vegas.

According to investigators, the girls were forced to sleep on bare boards without any pillows or blankets.…

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Crotchety Old Man Shoots Neighbor In Unprovoked AttackPerry Twp, OH — A 70-year-old man is facing numerous charges after shooting his 21-year-old neighbor for shits and giggles, apparently.

From what police are saying, Roger Smith walked out of his home Sunday afternoon and popped a cap in that dad-blasted whippersnapper’s ass from across the street.

We did not see any provocation by the victim,” said Perry Township Police Chief Michael Pomesky. “There was no interaction between the two. The victim was going about his own routine.”

There were prior reports of some bad blood between Smith and someone else that lived in the home, but the victim was not a part of those disputes.

Smith has been charged with felonious assault, discharging a firearm on or near prohibited premises, and improperly discharging a firearm at or into a habitation. Bond was set at $500,000.

No word on the condition of the victim.…

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Autumn Glick Arrested After Assaulting Elderly Man At Lowes For Cutting In LineCAPE CORAL, FL –  Autumn Glick is facing a felony charges after the 32-year-old allegedly got upset with an elderly customer at Lowe’s and assaulted him in the parking lot.

On March 20th, police were called to the store after a verbal confrontation between two customers turned violent. It reportedly started  after Glick accused an elderly man of cutting in line at the holding area in the store’s garden area.

Glick began verbally assaulted the man and followed him into the parking lot where she jumped into the bed of the man’s pickup truck and began tossing bags of mulch out of the bed he’d just purchased. Witnesses say she also slapped and kicked the man before leaving.

Several witnesses at the scene described the incident to police, and they were provided with clear cellphone video of the assault that helped them identify Glick as their suspect. When officers arrived at her home, she refused to come out and talk to them because she said she knew she would be arrested and she had no one to care for her children until her husband got home from work.…

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McDonalds Bathroom Peeper Arrested After Getting Stuck Under Stall DoorMemphis, TN — After brazenly following a woman into the women’s room at a McDonald’s restaurant Thursday, and attempting to reach out and grab her from under the stall door, this tubby skeeve could do little more than grunt and wiggle after getting himself stuck between the bottom of the door and the nasty floor.

The alleged victim told police she was using the toilet when Ronald Henderson’s derpy face appeared under the door. She screamed at him to get out, she said, but he kept coming… trying to grab her leg. At some point during this creepy fucking scene, Henderson got stuck. It was then that the victim made her escape.

No details about how or when Henderson managed to free himself from under the door, or if he was still there when police arrived, but after the victim positively identified him at the scene, Henderson was transported to jail. He’s been charged with assault and observation without consent. Bond was set at $100.

The more I think about it, the more I wonder if the police got the right man.…

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Woman Charged After Attempting To Slice Hubbys Penis Off With Box Cutter New Castle, PA – Lisa Jones-Orock, 39, was arrested Friday after allegedly attempting to remove her husband’s penis with a box cutter.

When authorities responded to the couple’s home, Lisa insisted that her husband, 56-year-old Gerald Orock, was the aggressor in the physical confrontation. Accused of attacking her with a knife, Mr. Orock was placed under arrest.

Once at the cop shop, though, police learned that while Mr. Orock wasn’t exactly a saint, he was the victim in this particular case. Police say he had cuts to his arms and hands that appeared to be defensive wounds. His jeans had been cut near the crotch area and there wera a few cuts on his legs. Kinda backed his claims that Lisa was the crazy one — she’d tried to slice his dick off.

Lisa was taken into custody and charged with aggravated assault, simple assault and harassment. And because a small bag of pot was found in her purse, possession of marijuana. She also had an outstanding bench warrant for DUI,

Gerald was kept behind bars for possession of marijuana and for violating a protection from abuse order his wife had previously taken out.…

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Distressed Man Found Wandering Near The A66 Searching For His Missing PenisEngland — A 40-year-old man is in a medically induced coma after being found wandering near the A66 in Middlesbrough, sans penis.

Not a lot of info on this one, but what the hell… I’m on a severed penis roll. wOOt.

The unidentified man, said to be “in a clear state of distress,” was apparently searching for his missing penis in some undergrowth when he was discovered by a passing motorist early Thursday morning.

Although police were hesitant to say out right that the man had his dick violently removed, they were forced to close a long stretch of the road for a few hours to conduct what appears to be a search for a missing penis. No word on whether it ever surfaced.

An unidentified 22-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of assault and questioned, but was soon released on bail. No further information on that, either.

Investigators still haven’t been able to speak the the alleged victim, coma and blood loss and all, but are asking the public to come forward with any information.…

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Stick Your Dick In Crazy, Pay With Chunks Of FleshMacomb County, MI – A 31-year-old woman was arrested over the weekend after she bit off the top part of her boyfriend’s ear during an argument.

The woman’s 36-year-old boyfriend called police early Saturday morning, claiming that after an argument with his live-in lady, Danielle Nebelung, he was missing a chunk of flesh from the top of his ear.

No word on what the couple were arguing about, but I’m sure it was his fault. Anyway, the man told police Nebelung began punching him in the face and head. When he turned away from her, he said, she jumped on his back and chomped, biting off the top part of his left ear.

Fortunately for him, Nebelung is a spitter — the missing portion was located and he was transported to a hospital for treatment. Haven’t seen whether they were able to reattach it or not.

Nebelung was arraigned on an aggravated assault charge and ordered held on $10,000 bond.…

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Man Attacks Sister After She Complains About Him Leaving The Toilet Seat UpFargo, ND — A 24-year-old man was arrested last week, accused of assaulting his sister after an argument about proper toilet seat etiquette.

According to the police report, Thaddeus Morgan slapped and pushed his sister, 23-year-old Cynthia, after she confronted him about leaving the toilet seat up.

At some point during the verbal argument between the two, Cynthia claimed, Thaddeus pushed her and broke her glasses. When she attempted to dial 911, she told police, Thaddeus took her cellphone.

Thaddeus admitted to slapping his sister with an open hand, grabbing her wrists, pushing her and interfering with her phone call, but insists she was throwing toys at him.

The two were separated, told to grow the fuck up and sent to their rooms without dinner. Erm, I mean, Thaddeus was arrested for interfering with an emergency call, a felony, and misdemeanor assault.

Personally, I always look before I sit so I don’t really give two shits about whether the seat is up or down. I will, however, cut a motherfucker if the seat is down and wet.…

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Brother And Sister Arrested For Meth Possession Caught Swapping Spit Behind BarsHouston, TX — A pair of half siblings initially detained by police for shoplifting and possession of meth are now facing additional charges after police spotted the two making out behind bars.

Officers were dispatched to the Porter Walmart on the afternoon of February 28, to deal with an alleged shoplifter. There they found 24-year-old Charlene Ellet. She informed officers that her half-brother, 26-year-old Cameron Beck, had driven her and her toddler twins to the store. A short time later, Beck appeared at the Loss Prevention office looking for Charlene.

For whatever reason, police requested a search of Beck’s car. He consented because he’s obviously an idiot. Anyway, the search revealed  a “light bulb with burn marks and  a cut pen with a crystalline substance on it.” Surprise! That substance reportedly tested positive for meth. Ellet admitted she and Beck had smoked the meth about two weeks prior. Ellet was issued a citation for shoplifting under $50, and both were taken into custody for possession of a controlled substance.

It was then, police say, that Beck asked the arresting officer if they could just charge Ellet because she had a clean record.…

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Woman Accused Of Bashing Her Mother In The Head With VibratorAlbuquerque, NM — Cara Claffy, 35, is being held at the Bernalillo County jail, charged with domestic violence and aggravated battery of a family member, after allegedly knocking her mother upside the head with a vibrator.

60-year-old Sheryl Claffy called police Sunday to report that her spawn struck her on the head with the device, leaving her bloodied, and was attempting to leave the residence they shared.

Mom told police she was just sitting there watching tv, when an argument between herself and her daughter erupted. It was then, she said, that Cara grabbed the electric vibrator and whacked her in the dome.

She pointed out a pickup truck sitting nearby, and informed officers that her daughter was inside. She wasn’t. The alleged weapon, however, was. An officer retrieved the vibrator from the floor of the vehicle. A detailed description of the device has not been made available.

Cara was apprehended after exiting a nearby home. She told officers she argued with her mother, but she didn’t harm the woman. In fact, Cara said, the old lady just came out of a room, all bloody and stuff, and informed her that she had hit herself in the head with the vibrator.…

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Cruise Worker Confesses To Beating, Raping, and Attempting to Throw A Passenger In The OceanFort Lauderdale, Florida — A cruise worker aboard the MS Nieuw Amsterdam admitted to beating, raping and then attempting to throw a passenger overboard from her cabin’s balcony.

According to the victim’s report, Holland America cruise line employee Ketut Pujayasa, 28, appeared in her darkened room in the middle of the night and punched, strangled, and raped her.

Objects he used in the assault included a curling iron, a laptop computer, and a phone cord. She reportedly lost consciousness at least once during the incident. Prosecutors say the attack left her “covered in blood from head to toe.”

Pujayasa joins a long list of other people who seem to be trying to show the world that Florida-based crime is a little weirder and more extreme than the rest of the country. . .

The assault happened on Valentine’s Day, and it ruined the holiday for other passengers who don’t find brutal, graphic violence romantic.

According to the FBI’s report, Pujayasa was retaliating against an insult from the victim. After he knocked three times on the victim’s door she said, “Wait a minute, son of a bitch!” This angered the Indonesian citizen so much that he plotted revenge.…

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Darren Stinson Arrested After Posting Drive By Prank Videos On InstagramPhiladelphia, PA – Police have arrested a moron in Philadelphia who thought it would be hilarious to film himself threatening people with a pellet gun and then post the videos online.

Police say 21-year-old Darren Stinson, a wannabe comedian, drove around with a friend filming themselves as they pointed the black pellet gun at unsuspecting pedestrians. Stinson then posted the videos on Instagram as “funniestnphilly”.

These videos include Stinson and another jackass pointing the gun at a man salting a snowy sidewalk and demanding he put the salt in their car’s trunk, leading to the man spilling the salt on the ground. Others show Stinson pointing the gun at random pedestrians and firing the gun, laughing like idiots as people dive for cover in the snow.

But Stinson saw nothing wrong with these pranks. He is soo fucking stupid, he thought it was perfectly ok to point a gun at someone as a prank. In fact, he made this comment on one of the videos: “All of this is jokes. 

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Crazy Homeless Lady Accused Of Attacking Toddler At Grocery StoreManchester, NH — A homeless woman believed to be suffering from some sort of mental illness was charged earlier this week after allegedly beating up a toddler outside a Market Basket grocery store.

The toddler’s mother, Krystan Lambert, told a reporter from WMUR she was walking out of the store with her 2-year-old daughter, Sonya, and another child she was babysitting, when she felt Sonya’s hand ripped from her grasp.

“All of a sudden my daughter’s on the ground crying and this woman’s reaching over, swinging at her, trying to hit her,” Lambert said.

That woman, identified as 47-year-old Lorraine Augustine, was swingin’ and refused to let up. Lambert said the woman started circling her, taunting her, trying to get at the child. Augustine apparently removed one of the child’s pink boots and attempted to beat her with it.

“She was swinging at her while I’m picking her up, trying to shield her with my body and trying to kick and push the woman away any time she got near me,” Lambert said.…

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Man Assaults Girlfriend Because Hes Facebook IgnorantPhoenix, AZ – A 35-year-old man is facing numerous charges after allegedly assaulting his girlfriend over a misunderstanding of how Facebook works.

According to police, Travis Schelling thought other men were sending direct messages to his girlfriend on Facebook anytime one of her friend’s posts popped up on her feed. And every time he read one of those messages, he hit her. In addition to the hitting, police say, Schelling also violently shook the woman by her hair, ripping it out in clumps. It is believed that Schelling also sexually assaulted her.

Police say he held his girlfriend captive from about 11:30 Friday night to 3:00 Saturday morning, threatening to kill her, her family and her friends if she dared alert authorities. The woman finally convinced Schelling that she wasn’t going to tell, and he released her at about noon on Saturday.

Police said the victim had bruising on her face, arms, legs and a cut and swollen lip when she reported the incident.

Schelling has been booked on charges of kidnapping, sexual abuse, aggravated assault, threatening and intimidation.…

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Teens Accused Of Torturing Classmate, Carving Swastika In His ForeheadPORTLAND, OR – Four teens are looking at some serious charges after being accused of kidnapping and torturing one of their classmates.

Police say during a snowstorm on February 10, Jenna Montgomery, 15, lured 16-year-old Dustin Murrain into a shed behind a house. Murrain told police he had met Montgomery earlier that day at David Douglas High School, where they both attended school.

According to Murrain’s account, once he walked into the shed he encountered three teen boys and realized he had fallen for one of the oldest tricks in the book.

First he was struck in the head with a crowbar before being ordered to take off his shirt. Then 15-year-old Blue Kalmbach allegedly shot Murrain in the chest, groin and index finger with a BB gun. Kalmbach then carved a swastika into Murrain’s forehead with a box-cutter and forced Murrain to eat cat shit.

After having his iPod stolen, Murrain escaped the shed and fled to a nearby auto service shop for help. Police were called and Murrain was taken to OHSU Hospital for treatment.…

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Nekkid, Drunk Woman Rampages After Boyfriend Refuses To Put OutGlendale, AZ — A 24-year-old woman is facing several charges after allegedly pitching a fit and breaking stuff, and slightly injuring her infant, after her boyfriend refused to give her the D.

This may come as a surprise to none of you, but this isn’t the first time we’ve covered such a story. We got a beatin‘, a fish-hookin‘ and a dick bitin‘… just to name a few. Will you men never learn?

Anyway, police were called to the couple’s home Monday and found Ashley Marie Prenovost nekkid, bloody and drunk. It  is alleged that after the boyfriend refused coitus, Prenovost went on a rampage. Police say she punched a couple of holes in the bedroom wall and smashed a picture frame, causing injuries to both of her hands.

Then, for whatever reason, Prenovost picked up the four-month-old child she shares with her boyfriend, and began carrying her around the house, yelling and screaming and bleeding all over the place. At some point during the alleged tirade, the child’s head met a dresser.…

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Man Goes Postal, Bites Mailman’s Leg

February 13, 2014 at 1:43 am by  

Man Goes Postal, Bites Mailmans LegAkron, OH — This here is 25-year-old Robert Kiefer — he’s been accused of attacking a mailman, pepper spraying the dude and biting him multiple times, after a check he was expecting didn’t show.

According to the 56-year-old victim, when he learned the postman wasn’t delivering the aforementioned check, an agitated Kiefer snatched his pepper spray off his belt and squirted him in the eyes. This led to a wrestling match, of sorts, in the street. The mailman told police that while the two were struggling, Kiefer bit him on the leg three times.

The two were still at it when police arrived on scene. Kiefer still had a bit of fight left in him, and when officers tried to subdue him, he reportedly resisted. This earned him a pepper sprayin’.

The two were eventually pried apart and Kiefer was taken into custody. He was charged with assault and battery and resisting arrest, and was ordered held on $1,000 bond.

The mailman was treated at the scene for the bite wounds and a cut to the knee.…

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Woman Accused Of Assaulting Husband With Toast And ButterCinderford, England — A 45-year-old woman has been accused of assaulting her husband with toast and butter, and for nearly ripping his ear off, in a dispute over chores.

Now, before anyone gets their panties all in a wad and accuses me of mocking domestic violence victims, a disclaimer: Domestic violence is not a laughing matter… the manner in which it is carried out, though, can be quite hilarious. That said…

Julie Evans apparently got a little pissy with the hubby last year and his reported refusal to help out with the chores. As the man lay on the couch one evening, pretending to sleep, Evans doused him water. This had no effect. Evans ended up going to bed that night, still fuming.

The next morning, the woman started an argument. Cause, you know…. women. Authorities claim she threw a piece of toast at her beloved. The man, believing the woman to be quite petty, attempted to leave the room. It was then that Evans reportedly smeared butter on his face.…

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Man Accused Of Assaulting Wife And Cat In Fit Over $1 Freezer BagsBrookfield, MA — A 24-year-old man has been accused of kicking his wife and attempting to kill her cat after apparently throwing a gigantic shit fit over the $1 freezer bags the woman bought Monday.

No word on what, exactly, it was about the freezer bags that pissed off Kwadwo Amoafo Amaniampong, but after the wife showed up with ‘em, he reportedly tossed tossed the bags onto a neighbor’s roof and kicked the woman.

After Amania… fuck that finger twisting name. After Mr. A calmed down a bit, the wife apparently approached him with the idea of a separation. Gee.. I wonder why. This did not please Mr. A, and meltdown #2 was soon in progress.

This time, police say, Mr. A’s rage was directed at his wife’s cat, which he choked and threw against a door. When the woman attempted to retrieve the pussy from underneath a couch, the man grabbed hold of a butcher knife and tried to stab the critter. The woman was eventually able to corral both of her cats and leave the house.…

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Home Invader Dick Slaps Woman, Demands Money

January 29, 2014 at 5:54 am by  

Home Invader Dick Slaps Woman, Demands MoneyFlorida — A Miami woman claims a burglar repeatedly slapped her in the face with his dick after she informed him she had no money.

That’s it. I have heard it all. Time to shut off the internet. Well, maybe after I finish this story….

The dick slapping incident apparently occurred sometime early Tuesday morning. A man living in the home told police he heard a knock at the door at about 3:00 that morning, and when he answered, was confronted by two males holding guns. Real guns, ya perverts.

Anyway, the two unidentified males entered the home and demanded cash. When the man who answered the door came up dry, the suspects apparently busted into a bedroom occupied by the man’s 33-year-old daughter-in-law.

Authorities say one of the men held a gun to the woman’s head and demanded money. When the woman stated she had none, one of the two whipped out his Johnson and began hitting her in the face with it. And while he’s at it, he’s yelling, “*censored* give me the money.” No word on whether the member was flaccid or at full attention.…

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