Moscow – I was gonna post this earlier, but was waiting on more information. Captain-Lieutenant Nikolai Zakharkin, 31, suspected his common-law wife, Irina Lapuzina, 27, was cheating on him when she did not return home one night. So after drinking heavily, he sent her a chilling text message stating, “You can say goodbye” to her 8-year-old twin daughters, Dasha and Katya. He then threw both of them off of their eight-story balcony. Unbelievably, both girls survived because of the trees they fell through and not landing on pavement but as you can imagine, they both got pretty tore up. Katya, who was asleep when she was tossed, suffered a ruptured spleen. Dasha suffered serious concussion, five broken ribs, a ruptured liver and a possible backbone injury. Zakharkin has been arrested and charged with attempted murder. Wishing the girls a quick recovery and wanted to note that I love Russian names. The female names usually sound like sexy spies and the males always sound like videogame villains.

Dasha and Katya...or Katya and Dasha - love the bottom girl's expression

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Marion, IA - Allow me to introduce Kristine Pflughaupt (gesundheit). Ms. Phisoderm Pflughaupt is gracing the pages here at the Dreamin’ Demon for a number of reasons – that awesome last name, her cheerful mugshot, drunken hyjinx, and because she’s a big fan of noodles.  It has been reported that on November 3, a resident on Ms. Farfegnugen Pflughaupt’s mail route called police to complain that she had a strange mail carrier, in uniform and carrying a mail bag, sitting on the floor in her kitchen noshin’ on some left-over noodles. The homeowner, 95-year-old Marie O’Kelly, said she was watching TV in her living room when she heard a noise – she assumed it was her daughter coming for a visit, but grew suspicious when she didn’t receive a greeting from the girl. When she went to investigate the strange noise, she found Ms. Flobbernotten Pflughaupt sitting on the kitchen floor, eating noodles with her bare hands. “The noodles were running down her shirt. I asked her, ‘What are you doing here?’ She didn’t answer – she just kept eating those noodles.” Yum. 

Kristine Pflughaupt

By the time authorities arrived at the scene, Ms. Phlebitis Pflughaupt had had her fill of pasta and had passed out. Police report that she registered a .280 on a field sobriety test. It is believed that Ms. Pflugerville Pflughaupt, after having been dropped off to finish off her route, had entered O’Kelly’s home through an unlocked door and made her way to the fridge.

Ms. PfluckIt Pflughaupt, a mail carrier for 17 years, might just have a problem with the fire water. According to court documents, she has already racked up a total of three convictions for operating while intoxicated – the latest in August of ‘09, for which she received a suspended sentence – two prior public intoxication charges – three open container charges that were dismissed – and a partridge in a pear tree. Two words – Get. Help. Ms. Pflughaupt, 46, was arrested and charged with public intoxication.

Source

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Iowa City, IA - How inebriated must one be to feel that it is kosher to just drop trou’ and discharge a few ass apples in a public venue? I’m guessing one would have to have a B.A.C. somewhere in the vicinity of .24, give or take, and an IQ in that same general area. Demonites, please meet Mr. Robert E. Lee. Mr. Lee here allegedly entered a CVS Pharmacy Friday evening, ambled his way up front, lifted his shirt, dropped his pants, and dumped a load of sphincter spears. Then, without even bothering to wipe or wash, Mr. Lee walked out of the store. Ummm…ew? When the cops caught up with the butt nugget bandit, the slurred speech and aroma of alcohol gave him away. (Not to mention the .24). Mr. Lee, 57, was charged with fifth-degree criminal mischief and public intoxication – both misdemeanors. The store manager who reported the incident told police it would cost less than $200 to clean up the mess. (And a drawing of straws between employees, I’d imagine). All right, Morbid – let’s have one of those asstastic poop stories you are so fond of telling….you know you wanna!

Robert Lee

Source

DADE CITY, Florida – Police pulled over a vehicle for not for not having a passenger side headlight. The driver was a very drunk Genoveva Amacenda-Velona, 30. Also in the car with her were two children ages 7 and 9. But that wasn’t it. Beside her was a half-empty bottle of Jose Cuervo and sliced limes on the console. Amacenda-Velona spoke no English, but did relay that she had only drank a few beers at a friends house. Her 0.233 blood-alcohol level told a much different story. She was charged with aggravated child neglect, DUI, not having a valid driver’s license and not having a motor vehicle registration and was being at the Land O’Lakes jail without bail. I see some people calling this setup a rolling bar just because she had some sliced limes? Shit, wait ’til they get a glimpse of the Mojito setup Jaded has in her car. Hell, she has fresh mint growing on the dashboard. Wanna know what my “rolling bar” consisted of? A couple bottles of Night Train. Don’t hate.

Source

Cincinnati, Ohio – On Halloween night, Oxford police officer pulled over 20-year-old James Miller for finding him driving the wrong way down a one-way street with no headlights. As the officer approached Miller was observed stuffing chewing gum in his mouth. He was also wearing an awesome breathalyzer costume. Miller told the officer he had not been drinking that night, but cops found an open beer in the console of his car and beers in the front seat as well as the trunk. Turns out that Miller was almost two times the legal limit, sporting a blood alcohol level of .15. Miller was cited on charges including operating a vehicle while intoxicated, underage possession of alcohol, having an open container and a fake ID, and a one-way street violation. Click on to see him in costume.

Miller is an idiot for driving drunk, but I do love the costume.

Clark County, Wisconsin — Mary Strey, 49, started drinking earlier in the day and after visiting different bars around Neilsville, she had consumed seven or eight brandy and Cokes. But this didn’t stop her from getting behind the wheel of her car and attempt to drive home. But she didn’t make it there as police caught up with her after someone called 911 to report her. They found her parked on the side of the road and officers reported that her speech was slurred,, she stumbled, was swaying back and forth and could not perform the tests. Her blood alcohol level was 0.17. The odd thing about this story is the 911 caller who turned her in. It happened to be Mary Strey herself. After the jump, you can listen to the 911 call in which Strey called to report herself. Which is kinda classic as it includes this exchange:

Dispatch: You behind them?
Mary Strey: No, I am them.
Dispatch: You am them?
Mary Strey: Yes, I am them.
Dispatch: Okay, so you want to call and report you’re driving drunk?
Mary Strey: Yes.

Continue on to listen to the full 911 call.

While I am glad Mary had the common sense to stop and pull over, I am still wondering why she had to get police involved. But I guess that is why we have an Alcohol Related Stupidity category. Praying robbers and drunk drivers who call the cops on themselves. WHAT IN THE HELL IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!

Mary Strey

Source

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Claremore, OK – With friends like Preston Dohrer, you might want to think about a life insurance policy. Or, hey, how about a whole new class of friends? As is evident in Preston’s Myspace pictures, he likes to party. And set shit on fire. And, as is evident with his dead friend, Michael Duke, Preston also likes to play with guns. Emergency personnel were called to Preston’s residence at about 1:45 Saturday morning. When they arrived, they found 20-year-old Michael laying on the living room floor bleeding out of the gunshot wound to his forehead. Seems the boys had been drinking that night and horsin’ around a bit. Witnesses told police the two were involved in a bit of “horseplay” and were “playing around with each other and playing with knives.” Sounds like a rip-roaring good time to me! Let me grab my Ginsu! A witness to the horseplay told officers that Preston walked into his bedroom, returned to the living room, pointed a pistol at Michael’s head, and pulled the trigger. wOOt! What. Fucking. Fun. Now Michael Duke is dead and Preston Dohrer is charged with second-degree murder and feloniously pointing a weapon at another person. Bond has been set at $250,000. Great video of Preston “pissing fire” after the jump. I must warn you though, after viewing the video, I seem to have lost 3.5 IQ points.

Source | Preston’s Myspace

*Credit for the title goes to Skeptik. Thanks!

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ESSEX, Maryland – An off-duty Baltimore police officer, Eric Michael Janik, 36, was taking his 9-year-old daughter through the haunted house attraction, The House of Screams, along with another police officer, Lisa Michelle Hinkley. When they reached the end of tour, they ran into Michael Brian Morrison, 32. An employee of the attraction who gives the paying customers one final scream dressed as Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre films. After his act of cutting a girl in two, he chases after people with an unchained chainsaw as they exit the attraction. But when he approached Janik and his daughter, Janik pulled out a handgun and pointed it at Morrison’s chest. Morrison dropped the chainsaw and held up his hands. Janik then holstered the gun, stated “it’s alright, I’m a cop,“  and attempted to shake Morrison’s hand. Another employee called police.

Responding officers found Janik in his car in the parking lot.When he rolled down his window, the responding officer noted  “a strong odor of alcohol” and slurred speech. Him and his Hinkley identified themselves as police officers and showed their badges. Janik also denied ever brandishing his firearm in the attraction. When presented with witness statements including a tour guide and another worker, Janik changed his original statement and said that he did brandish his firearm, but pointed it at the ground. He told the officer that Morrison “did not stop advancing toward him,” and that while he knew it was part of the show, he pulled his gun “to stop him.”

The reason why Morrison went after Janik and not the kids like he usually does? Because the girl was already upset and crying. The owner of the haunted house, Tony Sapanero, said that a security guard was already following Janik as they seemed drunk when they arrived. He states that Janik and Hinkley were rowdy throughout the attraction, including Janik holding his screaming daughter close to the characters.

Janik was charged with first- and second-degree assault and reckless endangerment. He was released on $25,000 bail and suspended by the Baltimore Police Department. As for Morrison, he says fuck it, he’s going to continue what he does and will be back in costume on Wednesday. “I’ll probably be a bit more leery,” he said.

Source | Source

Speaking of drunk assholes, did you know that Leatherface is my all-time favorite character from a horror film? I disregard all the sequels and the remakes. Just the Leatherface from the first film. Aside from owning multiple copies of TCM in VHS, DVD and Blu-Ray formats, I also collect Leatherface and TCM memorabilia. A couple of my favorites are:

Mezco Plush Leatherface and 18-inch McFarlane Leatherface

And of course, my two of three houses from the TCM movie. The home not pictured is the Franklin home. These pictures do not do them justice.

The Sawyer Family Home Decked Out For Halloween

The Sawyer Gas Station

You may be asking why the hell am I posting my Texas Chainsaw Massacre Fanboy Badge in this story, and my only answer to that is simply because I can – and I usually do whenever I find the opportunity.

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Goldsboro, North Carolina — Michael Earl Ricks, 47, has been convicted of armed robbery, common law robbery and writing worthless checks. He has recently been released from prison and luckily, Mary McDuffie and Christy Hughes let him come live with them in the trailer they rented. After a few hours of drinking, the two women got into an argument with Ricks and threatened to kick him out. Ricks became upset and took a trip to his employer, Best Sand and Gravel, and returned with a front-end loader bulldozer. While one of the women was on the phone with 911, Ricks used the bulldozer to destroy the trailer. You can listen to the moment he hit the trailer here. After he was done with the trailer, he then chased the two women as they ran to their landlord’s home. The women were not injured, and Ricks was arrested at the scene. He is being held under a $1,500 bond at the Wayne County jail on Monday, charged with damage to real property.

Source

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Sheboygan, Wisconsin – I’m not sure how many of you watch COPS or not, but for those of you who do, it is a well known fact that police do not give a shit about your stage of dress (or undress) when they haul your ass to jail. If they decide to get your naked ass a pair of shorts or not is really depending on how big of an asshole you are, as well as the cop you asking to get them. Julia Laack, 36, found this out when she attempted to disrobe to keep cops from taking her to jail after she got busted for shoplifting beef jerky and a lighter from a gas station. But naked or not, Julia was not going without a fight.

It all started after Tidy Car employees at a gas station watched Julia — in the store with her husband and two children — stealing beef jerky. They were going to let her get away with it at first, thinking she was a down and out mother trying to give her a nutritious, delicious treat that she was not able to afford. But when she got to the counter, she also started applying the five-finger discount to some lighters. Police were then notified.

When officers arrived at her house, they heard her berating her children, even going as far as blaming one of them for what was transpiring. When police made their way into the home, Julia stripped to her underwear in front of her children and told cops they could not take her to jail because she had no clothes on. Learning that this was not the case, she tried to punch a cop in the nuts. Not satisfied, she kicked an officer in the balls. When she would not stop trying to kick and bite the arresting officers, a spit hood was placed on her. She was able to remove it long enough to spit into the mouth of a female officer. Le Gag.

Once under some form of control and placed in the back of a police car, she got out of the seatbelt, removed her underwear and began placing her nasty ass on the window and told a female officer her children are going to die. Julia has been charged with two counts, one for theft and a second for misbehaving with police officials. So she learned that cops don’t care if you are nekkid, and that, with a blood alcohol level of 0.112, it is pretty easy to turn a simple shoplifting charge into a possible 5 years of jail time.

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Charleston, SC – Dash cam footage has been made public detailing City Council Member, Deborah Morinelli, after she drove her SUV into a ditch. The footage shows police removing a bunch of mini-bottles of wine (or as Jaded likes to call them – breakfast) from the vehicle. More disturbing than that is the footage of Morinelli as she wallows in a ditch, drunk off her ass. She attempts to stand several times, but cannot and eventually the police and rescue workers have to carry her. She was charged with driving under the influence and open container in a motor vehicle. She pleaded guilty and had to pay fines that total more than $2,500. Morinelli represents District 2 since 2002 but announced she will not be running for re-election. Watch the video after the jump to see why.

I am not making light of alcoholism. I am sure it sucks. But she wasn’t drunk when she decided to start drinking to the point that she couldn’t even do something as simple as standing and then get behind the wheel of an SUV. If I were a judge and seen this video of a woman wallowing around in a SC ditch like a fucking pig, I’d have revoked her driver’s license on the spot. But that’s just me.

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BETHLEHEM, Pa – Twin brothers Timothy and Thomas Willgruber, both aged 56, had a history of alcohol abuse and drunk driving. But not any longer. Last month the brothers were attending Celtic Fest, and Thomas was trying to help his drunk brother parallel park a minivan. For some drunken reason, Timothy lost control of the vehicle and ended up crushing Thomas’ leg in between the van and a parked SUV. Thomas died 8-hours later. Timothy failed the sobriety test at the scene and it was later revealed he had a blood-alcohol level of .20. Even though Bethlehem police Capt. David Kravatz says Timothy Willgruber was “devastated” after the accident and family members say the brothers were best friends, homicide charges were expected – but now that wont be necessary. Timothy hung himself on Tuesday.

My disdain and hatred of people who drive drunk is pretty well-known around here, and I do feel bad for the friends and family of these two men. But these two had a history of driving drunk. I am not understanding the sympathy that was shown towards Timothy after the accident. Had this been a little girl he crushed to death, or some stranger, people would have been demanding his suicide. Should the law treat people who break laws differently because they may truly be sorry for what they have done? Or that they killed a loved on accidentally in the process?

Willgruber brothers - no idea which is which

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Ocala, FL - I love Floriduh. You couldn’t pay me to live there, but I love it nonetheless. During my time here at the Dreamin’ Demon, Florida has provided me with many entertaining, sometimes gag-inducing stories. And this one, well, that would fall into the gag-inducing category. Please allow me to introduce 41-year-old Venus Lewis. Cute, ain’t she? Ms. Lewis enjoys football, tag, alcohol, and younger men. Much younger men. While attending a teen football game at the E.D. Croskey Recreation Center last Saturday, Venus allegedly initiated a rousing game of tag with a couple of teen boys. She laid out the rules: “If I catch ya, I’m gonna have sex with ya.” Simple enough. And I’m sure those lads ran their little legs right off!! (Personally, if Venus was playing that game with me, you can guaran-fucking-tee I would have set a new world land speed record). Weary from the chase, Venus took a breather and chose that little break in the fun and games to drop trou’ and plug her flow hole with a tampon. The stop-leak was in place, but Venus was still all worked up – she needed to relieve some tension, so, she allegedly leaned back on a picnic table and began masturbating. If the teens weren’t already traumatized after having watched the plug insertion, that had to have sent them over the edge. According to police reports, the boys were under the age of 16, and at some point, Venus attempted to grab the underdeveloped package of another young boy. Police believe that alcohol may have played a factor. No. Shit. Venus Lewis was booked on charges of lewd and lascivious exhibition and battery. She is being held on $25,000 bond. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the store for a couple gallons of brain bleach.

Source

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Pompano Beach, FL - Susan Grace was out and about Wednesday at about 5:00 p.m., when she happened upon a rather alarming sight – walking on the side of the road, along the white line, were two little ones just barely out of the toddler stage – one of them dragging a pillow, both barefoot. “I started panicking and I rolled down the window and I’m yelling, ‘Stop, stop,’ and of course, they can’t hear. And traffic’s just whizzing by them,” said Susan, a preschool teacher. She pulled her car over to the side of the road and waited with the kids until law enforcement showed up on scene. Seems the kiddos were on their way to pick up their older sister from school. But, where was mommy? While officers were questioning the kids, ages 3 and 4, one of them let it slip that “Mommy is drunk.” Hehhh…my kiddos had quite the vocabulary at that age, but the word ‘drunk’ wasn’t part of it.

Brenda Duclos

The children’s uncle happened to be driving by the now crowded shoulder and recognized the kiddos. He pulled over to speak with officers and told deputies where mommy lived. When officers arrived at the home they found mommy, 44-year-old Brenda Duclos, passed out cold behind the wheel of the family grocery getter – the engine running. On the seat beside her, four empty wine bottles. Yes, Brenda had been all set to pick her older child up from school when she passed the hell out. The kids, perhaps worried about their sibling getting home safely, climbed out of the mini-van and set out to pick her up themselves. By that time, the older child had already walked to her uncle’s house when it dawned on her that her parental unit wasn’t gonna show.

Brenda refused a breathalyzer at the scene. She told officers that she has a drinking problem (ya think?) and that she had been drinking wine for a good part of the day. But, she adamantly stated that she hadn’t been driving drunk. Um. Granted, she wasn’t actually driving, but sounds to me like she sure as shit planned on it at one point. Brenda’s husband, who had been working at the time, arrived to collect the children and had this to say: “She’s stupid. She did a stupid thing,” before driving off with the kids. He later changed his mind about the stupid part and praised her on her mad motherin’ skills. “I just want to let everyone know, my wife’s not a bad person that’s made out to be like that. She’s a great mom, a great wife. We’re struggling like everyone else has been.” Uh-huh. I was more inclined to agree with him when the word ’stupid’ came into play.

Brenda Duclos spent a day and a half behind bars before bonding out on $5,000. At her first court appearance on Thursday, Judge John Hurley read her the riot act. “Your children were found two miles away from you passed out in your driveway,” he said. “If that’s not a danger to your children, then I don’t know what is, ma’am, short of having a loaded gun with them.” It is reported that the judge also vowed to “personally call the Department of Children & Families to make sure officials were aware of how she endangered her children.” You go, judge! Brenda is being charged with DUI and child neglect. The state of Florida says cops can make an arrest on DUI charges in cases where a person suspected of being impaired is in physical control of a vehicle, even if they are just sitting behind the wheel with the keys in the ignition and/or the engine running.

Source | Source

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Apple Valley, California Growing up, birthday parties were a big thing, both having them and going to them. The endless silly games that are played from ‘pin the tail on the ass’ to ‘telephone’. (You know, everyone sits in a circle, an adult whispers something to the first child and they’re to repeat it to the next. By the end of the circle the message is never the same. Kind of like a bunch of adults I know repeating gossip) But as children grow older the parties kind of wane. I mean, what kind of games do you play with a bunch of 14-year-olds? After the sweet-sixteen party, the 17th birthday is a pretty big let down. Nothing really exciting to do for that one. That is unless you’re the daughter of Glenn Nottle. He gave his daughter the memories of a lifetime for her birthday. A little gunfire, some throwing stars, a little pipe bomb….

“Happy Birthday, honey. Let me fuck up your entire day. Love, Daddy” should have been the message scrolled on his daughter’s birthday cake. Seems like daddy had a bit too much to drink and picked a fight with his wife. During the altercation, he allegedly marched his happy ass into the bedroom and grabbed his .45 caliber semi-automatic handgun and fired a shot through the hallway ceiling. Nothing will get your attention more than a fucking drunk with a gun. But he tested that theory by marching that same ass outside and firing rounds into the ground, sending guests scrambling. Shit. Usually people fire into the air and people hit the ground. I’m trying to figure out what the hell they do when it’s the ground being fired upon.

A male guest was able to apprehend Glenn and get the gun away from him and when authorities arrived, they found the two males in the alley, one on his back – one had the gun. They took both men into custody until they could sort the shit out a bit more. I guess they quickly figured which one had a problem with being detained when he kicked out the back window of the squad car. Guess which one it was?

Perfect pappy Glenn, being a convicted felon and all, was beginning to realize he should have kept his mouth shut and his hands in his pockets. When the police started investigating, they found some throwing stars (illegal), a Cane sword (illegal), double-edged knives (illegal), several more firearms and ammo (illegal), and a homemade IED. (improvised exploding device – really fucking illegal). And they scrambled the hell on out of there. After the pipe bomb was diffused, good old Glenn found himself in a whole heap of trouble.

He was booked for investigation of possessing an explosive device, shooting at an inhabited dwelling, and more. (don’t know about the “more”.)

You know, it’s always a great time when you can blend two celebrations into one. And for the Nottle’s, it was a wonderful birthday party coupled with a hardy bon voyage…or good riddance.

Source

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