Cincinnati, Ohio – On Halloween night, Oxford police officer pulled over 20-year-old James Miller for finding him driving the wrong way down a one-way street with no headlights. As the officer approached Miller was observed stuffing chewing gum in his mouth. He was also wearing an awesome breathalyzer costume. Miller told the officer he had not been drinking that night, but cops found an open beer in the console of his car and beers in the front seat as well as the trunk. Turns out that Miller was almost two times the legal limit, sporting a blood alcohol level of .15. Miller was cited on charges including operating a vehicle while intoxicated, underage possession of alcohol, having an open container and a fake ID, and a one-way street violation. ClickClick reviews on to see him in costume. [Read more...]

Clark County, Wisconsin — Mary Strey, 49, started drinking earlier in the day and after visiting different bars around Neilsville, she had consumed seven or eight brandy and Cokes. But this didn’t stop her from getting behind the wheel of her car and attempt to drive home. But she didn’t make it there as police caught up with her after someone called 911 to report her. They found her parked on the side of the road and officers reported that her speech was slurred,, she stumbled, was swaying back and forth and could not perform the tests. Her blood alcohol level was 0.17. The odd thing about this story is the 911 caller who turned her in. It happened to be Mary Strey herself. After the jump, you can listen to the 911 call in which Strey called to report herself. Which is kinda classic as it includes this exchange:

Dispatch: You behind them?
Mary Strey: No, I am them.
Dispatch: You am them?
Mary Strey: Yes, I am them.
Dispatch: Okay, so you want to call and report you’re driving drunk?
Mary Strey: Yes.

Continue on to listen to the full 911 call.

[Read more...]

Claremore, OK – With friends like Preston Dohrer, you might want to think about a life insurance policy. Or, hey, how about a whole new class of friends? As is evident in Preston’s Myspace pictures, he likes to party. And set shit on fire. And, as is evident with his dead friend, Michael Duke, Preston also likes to play with guns. Emergency personnel were called to Preston’s residence at about 1:45 SaturdaySaturday reviews morning. When they arrived, they found 20-year-old MichaelMichael reviews laying on the living room floor bleeding out of the gunshot wound to his forehead. Seems the boys had been drinking that night and horsin’ around a bit. WitnessesWitnesses reviews told police the two were involved in a bit of “horseplay” and were “playing around with each other and playing with knives.” Sounds like a rip-roaring good time to me! Let me grab my Ginsu! A witness to the horseplay told officers that Preston walked into his bedroom, returned to the living room, pointed a pistol at Michael’s head, and pulled the trigger. wOOt! What. Fucking. Fun. Now Michael Duke is dead and Preston Dohrer is charged with second-degree murder and feloniously pointing a weapon at another person. Bond has been set at $250,000. Great video of Preston “pissing fire” after the jump. I must warn you though, after viewing the video, I seem to have lost 3.5 IQ points. [Read more...]

ESSEX, Maryland – An off-duty Baltimore police officer, Eric Michael Janik, 36, was taking his 9-year-old daughter through the haunted house attraction, The House of Screams, along with another police officer, Lisa Michelle Hinkley. When they reached the end of tour, they ran into Michael Brian Morrison, 32. An employee of the attraction who gives the paying customers one final scream dressed as Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw MassacreThe Texas Chainsaw Massacre reviews films. After his act of cutting a girl in two, he chases after people with an unchained chainsaw as they exit the attraction. But when he approached Janik and his daughter, Janik pulled out a handgun and pointed it at Morrison’s chest. Morrison dropped the chainsaw and held up his hands. Janik then holstered the gun, stated “it’s alright, I’m a cop,“  and attempted to shake Morrison’s hand. Another employee called police. [Read more...]

Goldsboro, North Carolina — Michael Earl Ricks, 47, has been convicted of armed robbery, common law robbery and writing worthless checks. He has recently been released from prison and luckily, Mary McDuffie and Christy Hughes let him come live with them in the trailer they rented. After a few hours of drinking, the two women got into an argument with Ricks and threatened to kick him out. Ricks became upset and took a trip to his employer, Best Sand and Gravel, and returned with a front-end loader bulldozer. While one of the women was on the phone with 911, Ricks used the bulldozer to destroy the trailer. You can listen to the moment he hit the trailer here. After he was done with the trailer, he then chased the two women as they ran to their landlord’s home. The women were not injured, and Ricks was arrested at the scene. He is being held under a $1,500 bond at the Wayne County jail on Monday, charged with damage to real property. [Read more...]

Sheboygan, Wisconsin – I’m not sure how many of you watch COPS or not, but for those of you who do, it is a well known fact that police do not give a shit about your stage of dress (or undress) when they haul your ass to jail. If they decide to get your naked ass a pair of shorts or not is really depending on how big of an asshole you are, as well as the cop you asking to get them. Julia Laack, 36, found this out when she attempted to disrobe to keep cops from taking her to jail after she got busted for shoplifting beef jerky and a lighter from a gas station. But naked or not, JuliaJulia reviews was not going without a fight. [Read more...]

Charleston, SC – Dash cam footage has been made public detailing City Council Member, Deborah Morinelli, after she drove her SUV into a ditch. The footage shows police removing a bunch of mini-bottles of wine (or as Jaded likes to call them – breakfast) from the vehicle. More disturbing than that is the footage of Morinelli as she wallows in a ditch, drunk off her ass. She attempts to stand several times, but cannot and eventually the police and rescue workers have to carry her. She was charged with driving under the influence and open container in a motor vehicle. She pleaded guilty and had to pay fines that total more than $2,500. Morinelli represents District 2 since 2002 but announced she will not be running for re-election. Watch the video after the jump to see why. [Read more...]

BETHLEHEM, Pa – Twin brothers Timothy and Thomas Willgruber, both aged 56, had a history of alcohol abuse and drunk driving. But not any longer. Last month the brothers were attending Celtic Fest, and Thomas was trying to help his drunk brother parallel park a minivan. For some drunken reason, Timothy lost control of the vehicle and ended up crushing Thomas’ leg in between the van and a parked SUV. Thomas died 8-hours later. Timothy failed the sobriety test at the scene and it was later revealed he had a blood-alcohol level of .20. Even though Bethlehem police Capt. David Kravatz says Timothy Willgruber was “devastated” after the accident and family members say the brothers were best friends, homicide charges were expected – but now that wont be necessary. Timothy hung himself on Tuesday. [Read more...]

Ocala, FL - I love Floriduh. You couldn’t pay me to live there, but I love it nonetheless. During my time here at the Dreamin’ Demon, Florida has provided me with many entertaining, sometimes gag-inducing stories. And this one, well, that would fall into the gag-inducing category. Please allow me to introduce 41-year-old Venus Lewis. Cute, ain’t she? Ms. Lewis enjoys football, tag, alcohol, and younger men. Much younger men. While attending a teen football game at the E.D. Croskey Recreation Center last SaturdaySaturday reviews, Venus allegedly initiated a rousing game of tag with a couple of teen boys. She laid out the rules: “If I catch ya, I’m gonna have sex with ya.” Simple enough. And I’m sure those lads ran their little legs right off!! (Personally, if Venus was playing that game with me, you can guaran-fucking-tee I would have set a new world land speed record). Weary from the chase, Venus took a breather and chose that little break in the fun and games to drop trou’ and plug her flow hole with a tampon. The stop-leak was in place, but Venus was still all worked up – she needed to relieve some tension, so, she allegedly leaned back on a picnic table and began masturbating. If the teens weren’t already traumatized after having watched the plug insertion, that had to have sent them over the edge. According to police reports, the boys were under the age of 16, and at some point, Venus attempted to grab the underdeveloped package of another young boy. Police believe that alcohol may have played a factor. No. Shit. Venus Lewis was booked on charges of lewd and lascivious exhibition and battery. She is being held on $25,000 bond. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the store for a couple gallons of brainBrain Age reviews bleach. [Read more...]

Pompano Beach, FL - Susan Grace was out and about Wednesday at about 5:00 p.m., when she happened upon a rather alarming sight – walking on the side of the road, along the white line, were two little ones just barely out of the toddler stage – one of them dragging a pillow, both barefoot. “I started panicking and I rolled down the window and I’m yelling, ‘Stop, stop,’ and of course, they can’t hear. And traffic’s just whizzing by them,” said Susan, a preschool teacher. She pulled her car over to the side of the road and waited with the kids until law enforcement showed up on scene. Seems the kiddos were on their way to pick up their older sister from school. But, where was mommy? While officers were questioning the kids, ages 3 and 4, one of them let it slip that “Mommy is drunk.” Hehhh…my kiddos had quite the vocabulary at that age, but the word ‘drunk’ wasn’t part of it. [Read more...]

Apple Valley, California Growing up, birthday parties were a big thing, both having them and going to them. The endless silly games that are played from ‘pin the tail on the ass’ to ‘telephone’. (You know, everyone sits in a circle, an adult whispers something to the first child and they’re to repeat it to the next. By the end of the circle the message is never the same. Kind of like a bunch of adults I know repeating gossip) But as children grow older the parties kind of wane. I mean, what kind of games do you play with a bunch of 14-year-olds? After the sweet-sixteen party, the 17th birthday is a pretty big let down. Nothing really exciting to do for that one. That is unless you’re the daughter of Glenn Nottle. He gave his daughter the memories of a lifetime for her birthday. A little gunfire, some throwing stars, a little pipe bomb…. [Read more...]

MADEIRA BEACH, Florida – This is a story I am only posting because of one line in the article by Brant James that simply stated, “Then he started throwing sea creatures”. For some reason, this line cracked me up and has made my day. 41-year-old Keith Edward Marriott is facing charges of disorderly intoxication and carrying a concealed weapon because of his bizarre behavior at the beach. Pinellas County sheriff’s deputies said Marriott repeatedly pretended to be drowning and then float to the surface, “causing concern for his safety,” and was “loud and disruptive,” according to a sheriff’s report. Then he started throwing sea creatures. Or more specifically, he started throwing jellyfish at some teenagers. Marriott was being held at Pinellas County Jail in lieu of $250 bail. I love obnoxious drunks. [Read more...]

Oakhurst, CA – When I came across this little story, three words came to mind: What. The. Hell? Here we have 37-year-old Krista Arceneaux – yes, a real looker, ain’t she?! A bit rough for 37, but with the right makeup, the right lighting, and a couple cases of Corona, she’d rank about a 5.5 or so. Krista was sitting outside of a bar last Wednesday evening when she spied a 6-year-old boy walking across a parking lot with his family. Whether it was because she was inebriated to the point of complete retardation or because she harbors some secret desire for little boys, Krista bolted from her chair, ran to the little kiddo, told him he was sexy, and laid on one him – tongue and all. Needless to say, the kiddos parents weren’t exactly thrilled with Krista’s nasty little show of affection and confronted her, sending her scurrying back to the bar. And that’s about the time Krista came a little unhinged. [Read more...]

Wantagh, NY – Sister Lauren Hanley, the spiritual development director at St. Frances de Chantal Church, is just brimming with spirit – of the holy kind and of the distilled kind. The naughty nun is facing charges after she allegedly tied one on at church Tuesday evening, polishing off a half-pint of gin, before careening around town in a church owned Toyota. WitnessesWitnesses reviews report they saw Hanley side-swiping vehicles, zig-zaggin’ around on people’s lawns, and putting the fear of Jaysus into a couple of young neighborhood hellions. The little rascals were playing outside of a home when the flying nun flew past them in her speedy little race car. “She skidded out on the grass, then she came back down at like 55, 60 miles per hour down the street,” said 11-year-old Alex Stein after a near-death experience with the booze-hound. “It was very frightening at first, then you realize you can’t trust anybody.” The fun and games were over when Hanley slammed the car into a tree. Sister Hanley, who blew a 0.18, admitted to officers that she had started tipping the bottle at about 3:00 that afternoon. Officers discovered a plastic water bottle in the back seat of the Toyota that contained a small amount of alcohol. Hanley, 68, was arrested, charged with misdemeanor drunken driving, and released on her own recognizance that same evening. Alex Stein describes the chaos, on video, after the jump. [Read more...]