Mountain Home, Arkansas Armed with a face only a mother could love, a criminal past, and an axe, Jason Marshall pretty much fucked up his parole. Monday, police received a couple of distressed phone calls regarding a domestic disturbance, the second of which the victim stated she and her children were able to escape their abuser but needed medical attention. An ambulance was dispatched to intercept the patients, Elizabeth Marshall (41) and her 9-year-old son at an intersection and they were transported to a nearby hospital. [Read more...]

IOWA CITY, Iowa – Don’t say that some of us have not been warning you guys for a long, long time. One of our field operatives was almost arrested after attempting to exterminate a zombie in Iowa City. The zombie was spotted inside a restaurant south of the University of Iowa campus. Our agent feared for the safety of the living public and attempted to incapacitate the zombie by punching it in the face. This is not standard procedure, as noted in our Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living DeadThe Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead reviews, but the agent attempted to punch the zombie in the face a second time, breaking its nose. Our agent was able to flee with is life, while the zombie was last seen being transported to a “hospital” – or more likely the government facility it had escaped from. We will keep you informed of all the latest developments regarding the beginning of man’s destruction by the zombie horde. And agents, please read your handbooks. There are right ways and wrong ways to attack a zombie. This was the wrong way. [Read more...]

Wilmington, Boston – Michael VonKahle, 48, brought his 12-year son to his Pop Warner football practice 12-minutes late. As punishment the coach, 43-year-old William Reynolds ordered the boy to run laps. Vonkahle wasn’t too happy with his kid being punished for his mistake, and let the coach know it. He told the coach, “If anybody needs to run laps, it should be you, you fat [expletive].’’ Not sure what the expletive was. Ass? Fuck? Whatever it was, VonKahle sat in the bleachers with other parents and continued to shout at Reynolds. The coach finally walked over to the bleachers. The story is a bit different from this point on, depending on the man telling it. VonKahle states Reynolds asked him to come take a walk, while Reynolds states he simply asked Vonkahle to discuss his problems in a more secluded area so that the kids would not have to see them arguing.  But both agree that this meeting ended with VonKahle getting his ass kicked.
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Aurora, IL – I like music just as much as the next person, maybe even more.  But as much as it can affect  my mood, I rarely get homicidal over it.  Even if I was forced to listen to Miley Cyrus over and over for days, I’d probably just bang my head on the wall until it split open before I ever tried to kill anyone.  That is unless Miley herself was in the room with me – then I promise nothing.  But, I digress.  Raymundo Herrera, 17, is one of those people that takes their tunes seriously – something his 3 year-old niece had to learn the hard way.  When the toddler interrupted Herrera while he was listening to music, he set her on fire. [Read more...]

Jackson County, Florida Law enforcement officers contend with an awful lot while they’re on duty. As as we’ve witnessed on the Dreamin’ Demon, their job is far from easy. Domestic disputes have to be a certified mess as they sort out all the “he said, she said” bullshit and sort out who did what to whom first. It’s aggravating when they spend so much time trying to distinguish who’s telling the truth. I believe in time efficiency, if there’s a discrepancy in stories, haul everyone to jail and sort it out there. But not always is my way of dealing with things the best way. If the police simply responded to this domestic call without looking around, the living conditions of this couple’s children would have gone unnoticed. [Read more...]

Chicago Ridge, IL-Would you believe another child had the gall to cry this week? Seriously, when are these kids going to learn that crying is not allowed? Not in baseball and most certainly not in the home of jerks with no patience and very few braincells. Someone like 28-year old Michael Healy. You see, Healy dislikes crying kids so much, that he has no problem sending the little tykes airborne when he’s heard enough. Sounds like a real fun guy to have around. Not. Last Thursday night, police were called to Healy’s apartment after his girlfriend called 911 when she came home and found her 2-year old son badly injured. Blood was coming out of the boy’s nose and mouth and bruises were beginning to form on his cheekbone. [Read more...]

Las Cruces, NM-Carlos Sanchez-Trillo, 20, has a nasty temper when things do not go his way. Last Wednesday, officers responded to a report of domestic violence where they found a 3-5 month old Chihuahua mix named LuckyLucky reviews badly injured. The officers learned that Sanchez-Trillo had become angry when his 18-year old girlfriend had returned home late from giving blood. Sanchez-Trillo allegedly grabbed his girlfriend by her arm, twisted it behind her back, and removed a ring on one of her fingers. [Read more...]

Chicago, IL- Considering the criminal record of RSO Michael Barnes, 49, I do not understand why any woman in her right mind would want to have this man in their life, let alone, leave their child in his care. In 1980, Barnes was convicted of molesting and murdering a 13-year old child. That year, he was sentenced to 4 years for indecent liberties with a child and 28 years for first-degree murder. Then in 1995, Barnes was once again sentenced to 10 years in prison for unlawful use of a weapon by a felon. Sounds like the only thing this guy is good at is costing tax payers money while he continues to prove he’s not worth a damn dime of it. Somehow, this career criminal was released on parole in May 2004 for God knows what, overcrowding in the prison, good behavior, ignorance on the parole board, and once again he is facing more prison time for severely burning a 2-year old child. [Read more...]

Aiken, South Carolina Meet Erica. Her self-described MyspaceMySpace entry states her interests are kids, butterflies, and shopping. Her favorite television shows are American Idol, CSI, General Hospital, Dragon Tales (PBS), and The Big Comfy Couch (ABC Kids). Newly married and cute as a button, why parents would have a problem choosing her as their children’s daycare provider is beyond me. But I’m thinking, after her stint in prison, she might be looking for a new career other than running a daycare. Who the fuck knew that children cried and screamed? I mean, it’s not like that in any of those shows she watched. Well CSI maybe, but it’s never more than a minute or so and it just shows things that happen to other people, not this sweet Southern Belle. [Read more...]

Crystal River, Fl- It’s summertime again. TimeTime reviews to take the kiddies to the beach, get intoxicated, hold their heads underwater, and kick the shit out of them when they lose your car keys. What? You mean you have never done that? Well, damn, I guess 42-year old Mark Wayne Wessel is in a league all his own when it comes to creating fun summer memories with his two wee-ones. Ah, good times, good times. Around 8 p.m. last SaturdaySaturday reviews, officers were called to the beach on Fort Island Trail in Crystal River after witnesses reported a man was abusing two young children. [Read more...]

Edwardsville, IL-Ever get that feeling you’re being watched? If it’s anything like one of my favorite movies, The Hills Have EyesThe Hills Have Eyes reviews, then it can be one creepy ass feeling to have, especially if you’re stranded in the desert and being stalked by a clan of deformed cannibals who inhabit the surrounding hills. Too bad that scenario only exists in the make-believe world of movies, because that is the exact place I would love to send the two ass-hats pictured below. Thankfully, though, they were being watched in real life and their two young children are now safe from clutches of their worthless parents. [Read more...]

Clarksville, TN-On her private MySpaceMySpace page, Michelle Ann Douglas’ screen name is “The one you’ll never forget” and her mood is “loved n blessed.” Think she’s conceited? Proud? Obstinate, perhaps? Or maybe this cocky cunt is just plain selfish. Yeah, the last one works for me because I’m pretty damn sure that Douglas’ 18-month old child was the one “she chose to forget” and he wasn’t feeling very “loved or blessed” while he was in her and her penis’ care. [Read more...]

Oakland Park, FL- On June 11, 38-year old Paul Day made a call to 911 that his 5-month old son had mysteriously stopped breathing. The baby was first taken to Holy Cross Hospital and then to Joe DiMaggio Children’s Hospital, where doctors confirmed the child’s injuries were consistent with shaken baby syndrome. Paul Day admitted to investigators that, yes, he did violently shake the little guy because that darn kid would just not stop crying. [Read more...]

Nampa, Idaho–Mario Gonzalez is quite the little bad-ass…he wasn’t about to let his girlfriend’s 2-year-old daughter get the best of him. No siree. He totally showed that little girl who’s boss. How dare she behave like a toddler, anyway? I mean…isn’t she old enough by now to take care of her own needs? Doesn’t she know that her crying and whining only gets on Mario’sMario reviews last nerve? Hell…we should have her mugshot up here. [Read more...]