Edward Oberwise Is A Genius

TAMPA, FL – Since Edward Oberwise, 37, was so successful in his first attempt to have sex with a 14 & 12 year old that he met on myspace, he figured he’d hit it again. The second time, the cops were waiting for him. Little bitches just can’t keep their mouths shut (or their legs apparently).

The real kicker is the shirt. Sometimes the funny writes itself.

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Leon Davis Ruins Pregnant Woman’s Christmas

LAKE WHALES, FL – That man up there is Leon Davis. Leon Davis is a piece of shit. Even though he’s been arrested four times on 14 separate counts of grand theft since February, he decided to hold up an insurance office, of all places. When he did not get enough money, he doused two women with gasoline and lit them on fire. One of them was 6 months pregnant. She’sShe reviews not pregnant anymore as they gave her an emergency C-section at an OrlandoOrlando reviews hospital.Oh, he also shot a man in the face who was coming to the women’s aid. He will require surgery, but is expected to survive. The burned women are both in critical condition, and the baby’s condition is not known.Seriously. An insurance office? They don’t have money there. And why wasn’t this asshole locked up after, say his 10th arrest? Whoever let the bastard back on the street should have to pay that baby’s medical bills. Utterly fucking unbelievable. Asinine. Really.

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Guilty Plea From Infant Murderin’ Dana Deegan

Bismarck, ND – Dana Deegan pleaded guilty in the murder of her newborn son. The 34 year old mother of three hid her pregnancy, gave birth to the healthy baby boy in the her home, fed him, dressed him, shoved him in a plastic bag and then left him to die to the tune of dehydration and starvation. Two weeks later, she stuffed his tiny body in a suitcase and left it in a ditch.

She tearfully plead guilty to a reduced charge of second degree murder and could face 18 years in prison (society should be so lucky). She had originally been charged with murder in the first, but someone took pity on her because her life was “overwhelmed with stress.” That was so nice of them. /sarcasm

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Christina Adams is a Fun Mom

PINELLAS PARK – This lovely woman, Christina Adams, 27, dangled her 5-year-old son out of the open window of an SUV while it was in motion. She was in the passenger seat holding onto the child’s hands, forcing him to run along side the moving vehicle. WitnessesWitnesses reviews told police that the black GMC SUV was traveling about 3 to 5 mph. Two other children and two other adults were inside the vehicle. When police stopped the vehicle, Adams appeared “extremely intoxicated and belligerent towards officers.” She was booked into the Pinellas County Jail. Bail was set at $5,000.As deplorable as this story is, that mug shot cracks me right the fuck up. She was waaaaaasted.

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Cannibal Serial Killer Stuns Mexico City

MEXICO CITY — Meet Jose Luis Calva Zepeda, serial killer, cannibal, failed horror movie screenwriter. Mexico city police found the dismembered body of Zepeda’s girlfriend,  Alejandra Galeana, a 30-year-old pharmacy clerk and single mother, in his closet, and found chunks of flesh in a frying pan on the stove, in addition to parts of a leg and arm in the fridge. Oh, and bones in a cereal box. He admitted to police that he had boiled some of his girlfriend’s flesh, but he had not eaten it. Also found in the residence was a draft of a novel titled “Cannibalistic Instincts,”

Police had come to Mr. Wonderful’s apartment Monday to investigate the disappearance of Alejandra. Jose tried to escape authorities but was run over by a car. Jose is also being investigated for the death of another girlfriend in 2004 and the mutilation death of a prostitute in April.

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Oregon Teacher Wants To Bring Gun To School

WantingWanting reviews protection from both her abusive ex-husband and the spate of school shootings that have plagued the country for the last few years, a teacher has challenged the local school district for the right to carry her Glock to school. Shirley Katz argued that since she has a concealed weapon permit, and Oregon allows those with permits to carry guns into buildings, she should be allowed to bring her weapon on school grounds. While saying that she necessarily would bring the gun on school property, she says she just wants to know that she can, should she feel the need.

Apparently, the students are a little, uh, slow when it comes to basic reasoning:

Some South Medford students say they are uncomfortable with the idea of a teacher carrying a gun, especially since they cannot bring even scissors to school.

“I totally understand she wants to protect herself,” said Lauren Forderer, 16, a junior. “But I don’t agree she should bring her problems around 2,000 other people.”

Uh, yeah. YOU’RE A MINOR. The teacher is an adult. They don’t want you carrying scissors because they don’t want you stabbing Brittinny Jenkins in the throat when you get your thong in a bunch because she called you a slut.

Lauren Forderer would eat those fucking words, if say, the teachers husband rampaged the school and busted in the classroom. I can see it now: crazy ex-husband has a gun to Lauren’s head. Lauren looks to her (unarmed) teacher with a pleading expression. The teacher just shrugs as the deranged madman pulls the trigger at point blank range. Sucks to be you.

What say the rest of you? Should she be allowed to carry the gun on school property?

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Whoa! Missing pregnant woman! She’s not white!

Amazing! Authorities in Columbus Ohio have put out a missing person’s report for Olivia Maricela Soriano-Almendaris, who is 9 months pregnant, after she was last seen at a bank on Oct. 2nd. She was due to give birth that day. Authorities have no leads.

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Custody of amputated leg in dispute

A US man who stored his amputated leg in a barbecue smoker that was later auctioned off is locked in a custody dispute with the man who bought it.

John Wood’s smoker was sold to Shannon Whisnant last week after he fell behind on payments at the storage facility in North Carolina where it was kept.

He wants his leg back but Mr Whisnant says he has a receipt for the smoker’s contents and wants to share ownership.

Mr Wood’s leg was amputated above the knee after a plane crash in 2004.

He asked to keep the leg so he could be buried as a whole man when he died, and stored it at the facility in Maiden after losing his home.

But when Mr Wood failed to pay the necessary rental fees, the storage company auctioned the smoker and all its contents.

‘Strange incident’

After buying the smoker last Tuesday, Mr Whisnant looked inside and found a man’s leg wrapped in a wire screen.

He initially gave the leg to the police, who concluded it had not been removed as a result of a crime and sent it to a funeral home until Mr Wood could pick it up.

But after making money by charging adults $3 (£1.47) and children $1 (49p) to look inside the empty smoker, Mr Whisnant asked for it back.

His request was refused by the funeral home, so he decided to try to persuade Mr Wood to share custody and profits.

“I told him I’d share custody of it…” Mr Whisnant said.

“It’s a strange incident and Halloween’sHalloween reviews just around the corner. The price will go up if I get the leg.”

‘Despicable’

Mr Wood, who now lives in Greenville, South Carolina, has insisted he is not interested in using the leg to make money and plans to travel to Maiden as soon as possible to reclaim it.

“I just think it’s despicable,” he said.

“I don’t mind having the 15 minutes of fame, but I’m not looking to really profit off this thing.

“He’s making a freak show out of it.”

Having had his offer rejected, Mr Whisnant has threatened to begin legal action if the leg is not returned to him by next week.

He says he has a receipt showing he bought both the smoker and its contents at the auction.

“Everybody knows it’s mine, period,” he said. “And if anyone tries to take it, I want everything they got.”

Thanks to Horrorholic for writing up this article. Click on the nifty sentence to discuss this on our forum!

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Wii are winning the console war!

And I’m proud to say that I did my part by buying two of them (though I sold one to my boss).

In the 10 months that the WiiWii reviews has been on sale, it has sold 9 million units worldwide, compared to the 2nd place holder, the Xbox 360, which has sold 8.9 million in its (almost) 2 years on the market. This number is more telling when you factor in that at least a small portion of the 360 units sold were repurchases to replace units that succumbed to the RROD. Astounding!

I knew Wii could do it! When are you getting one, Morbid?

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City council member gets a beat down from the police

ROSELAND, IN – Being escorted out of a council meeting that he was ejected from, Roseland Indiana council member David Snyder turns back to the police officer and says something inaudible to the cop. Cop then gives Mr. Snyder a good shove – good enough that it looks like his face smashed into the glass door. The crowd goes nuts, with one woman saying “Ohhhh myyy goddd.”

Meanwhile, outside on the pavement, Snyder is getting his face bashed in by the cop until Snyder finally relents and is cuffed.

I can’t stop laughing at this video. I think I’ve watched it ten times now. (Videovideo on source page)

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Whole school rallies around picked-on newbie

Seniors in action: David Shepherd and Travis Price

When the new kid showed up for his first day of 9th grade in his new school wearing a pink shirt, a group of older bullies started calling him a homosexual and threatening to beat him up. Tired of the harassment bestowed upon other students, a couple of seniors got together and hatched a plan. They bought 75 pink shirts and encouraged the entire student body to wear pink shirts to school on a specific day. Making sure that the bullied Freshman also had a pink shirt to wear, they sat back and marveled at the sea of pink, as they estimate half of the school was wearing pink.

Pissed off the bullies so bad that one of them was throwing chairs in the cafeteria.

Says senior Travis Price:

KidsKids reviews don’t need this in their lives, worrying about what to wear to school. That should be the last thing on their minds.

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W.V. Black Woman Tortured, Raped By 6 Whites

Clockwise from top left: Frankie Brewster, 49; Bobby Brewster, 24; Danny Combs, 20; Alisha Burton, 22; Karen Burton, 46; and George Messer, 27.

Lured to a home where some of the torturers lived, a woman was forced to lick the toe, vagina and anal cavity of a scary-looking 49 year old woman. The 49 year old’s son also forced the woman to eat dog and rat feces, and the black woman was also badly beaten, told “That’s what we do to niggers around here.”

The 6 are in jail and authorities are searching for others that may have helped lure the woman to the home.

Check The Smoking Gun’s article for the original police report.

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“He’s a good driver!”

A Tippecanoe woman is in jail after allowing her 5 year old sone to drive their 2002 Mitsubishi. She had been on a several day bender of prescription drugs, and after wisely realizing that she was in no shape to drive, she handed the keys over to her 5 year old. A neighbor, after seeing the 5yo in the driver’s seat and his 3 yo brother in the back seat, asked the mother why she was letting the kid drive. “He’s a good driver!” she exclaimed. Police interviewed the 5yo who complained that his feet couldn’t reach the pedals.

MotherMother reviews is still in jail in lieu of $10,000 bail.

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“Once I came down with the clap.”

Apparently, fishermen in Japan have this little rite of passage where young men lose their virginity to manta rays whose stingers have been removed. The cap’n gets the first crack at it, then the rest of the crew gets jiggy with it, opening up all sorts of health issues in which STDs can get passed around (no word on what the STDs do to the Mantas). Quoth the storyteller:

“So some guys slip on condoms before they do it. Once I came down with the clap. But we were in port around that time and I did it with a woman, so I don’t have any way of knowing if I picked it up from her, or from the manta.”

It’s not so unbelievable. Those Japs are some kinky fuckers.

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