Man Accused Of Paying Teens To Spit On Him Acquitted

February 22, 2012 at 12:43 pm by Jaded  

Thousand Oaks, CA –A man once accused of paying teen boys to spit in his face, call him names and slap him around so he could get off, has been found not guilty of child annoyance charges.

Some of our older members may recognize Charles Hersel – he was featured here back in November of 2009. Hell, a person claiming to be Hersel even popped in and commented on the original story a few times.

Here’s the Cliff notes for the click impaired…

Hersel was arrested at the Thousand Oaks Mall after word got around that he was offering to pay young boys to abuse him. During the investigation, several other teens also told investigators Hersel also offered to pay cold hard cash to be urinated and shat upon. No takers on that last offer, though…

Anyway, police had reason to believe Hersel was receiving some sort of sexual gratification from said abuse, and he was taken into custody on misdemeanor charges of child annoyance. Because you can’t just arrest someone for being f*cking weird, right?…

Woman’s Breast Implant Bursts During Violent Domestic Assault

February 21, 2012 at 1:14 pm by Jaded  

Cincinnati, OH — A 60-year-old man was taken into custody over the weekend after police say he assaulted his girlfriend so severely one of her breast implants exploded.

The 52-year-old victim reportedly told police that while arguing with her boyfriend Sunday morning, she was punched in the face several times and choked. Once she was down, the boyfriend, Samuel Cole, stomped on her left breast with enough force to damage the implant, causing serious injury.

In addition, police say Cole placed his hand over the woman’s nose and mouth in an attempt to suffocate her, releasing her only after she had passed out.

Cole then transported the woman to a local hospital for treatment, but threatened to knock the crap out of her again if she told medical personnel about the alleged assault.

Hospital staff contacted police and Cole was arrested on charges of felonious assault. He’s been ordered held on $50,000 bond.

No word on the woman’s condition, but her injuries have been described as “serious.”…

300-Pound Naked Man Walks Into Walmart, Steals Socks

February 17, 2012 at 2:06 pm by Jaded  

Exton, PA – A 6-foot-4, 300-pound man was arrested Wednesday after he was seen walking around Walmart wearing nothing but socks. Socks he apparently lifted from the customer service desk.

Surveillance video of the bizarre incident shows 32-year-old Verdon Lamont Taylor exiting his vehicle in the store parking lot and stripping down to his birthday suit. He is then seen walking into the store all nekkid-like and approaching the customer service counter. It was there, police say, that Taylor found the socks in question, slipped them onto his feet and continued on his way through the aisles.

Police quickly arrived on scene, and after making contact with Taylor, were forced to subdue him with a stun gun. Once they had him strapped to a gurney, Taylor allegedly spat on the face of one of the officers.

Taylor has since been arraigned on charges of indecent exposure, aggravated assault, simple assault, retail theft, receiving stolen property and disorderly conduct, and ordered held on $50,000 cash bail.

No word on whether mental illness, drugs or alcohol were involved.…

Women Offer To Bare Breasts For Beer Money, Stay Thirsty

February 17, 2012 at 12:25 pm by Jaded  

St. James City, FL — Two women were taken into custody after police say their sad attempts to flash fellow bar patrons to earn extra beer money escalated into an attack in the parking lot.

According to Lee deputies, 28-year-old Alicia Martin, left, and her pal Kathryn Rayannic, 24, had run out of cash while getting plastered at The Waterfront restaurant Wednesday, and were offering to bare their boobies for beer money.

“We had five guys that were like, ‘Please, leave us alone,’” said waiter Shaun Bassett. “They actually went up to tables who had their wives there.”

Sadly, the two women had no takers at all.

“Basically when they were turned down, they kind of got a little rowdy,” Bassett said.

After receiving numerous complaints about their bawdy behavior, restaurant staff attempted to remove the pathetic souses from the premises. It was then that Martin allegedly responded by shoving a female employee into a wall. The alleged assault continued after the party exited the building, with Martin punching the same female employee in the back of the head.…

Man “Mad At Wendy’s” Smashes Restaurant Windows With Sledgehammer

February 17, 2012 at 2:14 am by Jaded  

…

Pair Arrested For Trying To Conceal Child’s Fatal Beating Death By Staging Hit And Run

February 17, 2012 at 2:12 am by Jaded  

Stover, MO – Thomas Presley and his unidentified girlfriend are both in police custody after police say they attempted to conceal the beating death of the woman’s toddler by staging a hit and run accident.

Presley apparently told authorities he had stopped his vehicle along Highway 135 for a bathroom break early Thursday morning, when the toddler, identified as 3-year-old Blake Litton, darted into the road and was hit by a car. Presley claimed the car fled the scene.

Blake’s death was initially reported as a hit and run, but after further investigation, authorities essentially called bullsh*it on the man’s story. No skid marks were discovered at the scene, police say, and Blake’s injuries, which included violent trauma to the head and torso area, weren’t consistent with a car accident.

“We have determined the child was assaulted at a home in Stover, resulting in his death,” said Morgan County Sheriff Jim Petty.

Sheriff Petty also has reason to believe Presley told the child’s mother what really happened to her little boy, and she was fully aware of the staged hit and run, but played along “to keep him out of jail.”

Presley, 21, is being held at the Morgan County Jail pending formal charges of second-degree murder.…

Woman Threatens To Get Stabby After Boyfriend Fails To Provide V-Day Gift

February 15, 2012 at 1:26 pm by Jaded  

Cincinnati, OH — Kierra Reed, 22, was taken into custody late Tuesday after apparently threatening to poke a few holes in her boyfriend because he neglected to buy her a Valentine’s Day gift.

While arguing with the boyfriend about his negligence, Reed began pushing and scratching the man. So much so, police say, the man beat a hasty retreat to the bathroom and locked the door.

Incensed, Reed then retrieved a knife from the kitchen and began stabbing the bathroom door, threatening to cut him. Fortunately, the door held and the man was left with all of his man parts. He may have needed a change of underwear, though…

Reed was arraigned Wednesday on a misdemeanor count of aggravated menacing.…

Man Shot And Killed By Neighbor In Dog Poop Dispute

February 15, 2012 at 12:42 pm by Jaded  

Philadelphia, PA – Franklin Manuel Santana was shot and killed by a neighbor this week in what police are calling a long-standing dispute over dog crap.

Based on what police and neighbors are saying, the alleged gunman, 27-year-old Tyrirk Harris, has been allowing his two dogs to roam the neighborhood unleashed for months, leaving neighbors to clean up the foul packages the Chihuahua and German Shepherd left behind.

Apparently fed up, Santana confronted Harris just after 4:00 Tuesday evening. The two had words, and at some point, Harris pulled a 9mm out of a holster on his hip.

After a brief struggle over the gun, 47-year-old Santana lay dead on the sidewalk. Police say Harris fired multiple shots, striking Santana in the face and chest, and twice in the neck.

Harris, 27, was arrested on scene. He’s been booked on charges of murder, firearms violations and possession of an instrument of crime. According to investigators, Harris, a former school police officer, was, at one time, licensed to carry a gun but the license may have been revoked.…

Man Charged After Trying To Pay For Lap Dance With Crack, Assaulting Police

February 15, 2012 at 11:41 am by Jaded  

Austin, TX — Ricardo Luna, 26, was arrested outside of the XTC Men’s Club early Sunday morning, after police say he attempted to pay for his lap dance with crack cocaine.

According to the criminal complaint, deputies were dispatched to the club around 4:00 that morning, after receiving a report claiming Luna tried to pay for his lap dance with crack. While speaking with a bouncer at the club, police learned Luna kicked a member of the security staff and started screaming racial slurs as he was being escorted out of the establishment.

An intoxicated Luna was hesitant about being seated in the back of the patrol car, but complied after being threatened with a tasin’.

On the way to the cop shop, police say Luna began kicking the right rear door in an attempt to escape. The arresting officer then pulled the car over and attempted to secure Luna’s legs with a tarp. He was apparently unsuccessful, and another officer ended up getting kicked in the chest three times.…

Man Arrested For Masturbating Outside Of Incarcerated Girlfriend’s Jail Cell

February 13, 2012 at 11:11 am by Jaded  

Muskegon, MI – Police have arrested a man they say exposed himself and masturbated for his incarcerated girlfriend, and her fellow inmates, outside of the Muskegon County jail early Thursday morning.

The incident, police say, was captured on surveillance video.

Guards grew suspicious when the man’s Cadillac was spotted on surveillance cameras at about 4:20 a.m. Because the Caddy had been seen on prior occasions, officers zoomed in on it to get a better idea of what was going on inside. It was then, they said, that they discovered the occupant of the vehicle, 47-year-old Terry Doxey, was putting on a one man show for his lady.

When confronted, Doxey denied the accusations. A search of his vehicle, though, provided police with “irrefutable evidence.” Umm, eww?

Police say Doxey’s 27-year-old girlfriend is currently serving a sentence for retail theft. She is scheduled for release in September.

Doxey was booked into jail on charges of aggravated indecent exposure, a misdemeanor. He was released Friday on a $10,000 personal bond.…

Police: Man Repeatedly Raped Woman With Beer Bottle, Recorded Assaults

February 13, 2012 at 10:04 am by Jaded  

Houston, TX — A man accused of forcing his sexual partner to use a beer bottle during sexy time has been arrested on charges of sexual assault, after police learned he had documented the alleged assaults on video.

The victim reportedly told police 46-year-old Ted Dwayne Stevens went “too far” by forcing her to use a beer bottle during several of their presumably consensual sexual encounters in November of 2010. The 44-year-old woman also claimed Stevens had recorded the alleged attacks on several occasions.

A court order to collect the evidence was obtained, and the deputy that examined the footage reported finding about 65 clips that showed Stevens sexually assaulting the woman.

Stevens was charged with sexual assault of an adult and released on a $30,000 bond.

No word on how long the two had been in a sexual relationship.…

Man Charged For “Passing Bomb” In School Library?

February 10, 2012 at 4:14 pm by Jaded  

Ellisville, MS — A supposed A-student at Jones County Junior College has been arrested for allegedly writing a note claiming there was a bomb on campus. A note reportedly scrawled on toilet paper.

Harold Wayne Hadley Jr., 19, was arrested after authorities matched his handwriting to the note found in the bathroom of the industrial services building. Said note claimed a bomb had been placed in the school library.

Officials immediately closed the library and the industrial services building and brought in a bomb-sniffing dog. A total of 11 agencies responded to the alleged threat, and each came up empty handed.

Hadley, who was scheduled to graduate in May, is now being held at the Jones County jail on a $20,000 bond.

Hadley’s family members have since stepped forward in his defense, claiming Hadley often uses the word “bomb” as a reference to bodily functions, not an explosive device.

“He was in the restroom doodling on some toilet paper and I am going to just let modesty go and tell you we are from the country, and so he calls passing gas, bombs,” said Hadley’s unidentified aunt. ”So, he was doodling on the toilet paper and put I passed a bomb in the library, talking about passing gas and somebody come in and found it, give it to the teacher that recognized his hand writing and it blow all out of proportion.”

Officials have declined to reveal the contents of the note, but claim it was a bit more explicit than “I passed a bomb in the library.”…

Man Accused Of Tossing Toddler In Dryer As Punishment

February 10, 2012 at 2:35 pm by Jaded  

Cambridge, OH – Jamial Bayly, 40, was arrested this week after police say he tossed a 3-year-old child in a clothes dryer and turned it on.

Police learned of the incident after responding to the home on a well-being check. And, according to one source, the child was still in the dryer when deputies entered the home. Another source, though, claims Bayly admitted to having placed the kid in the dryer earlier that day. Either way, the kid was supposedly tumbled at some point.

No word on how long the kid was fluffed, but police were unable to find any visible injuries. Police say the toddler was released to his mother, who wasn’t home when deputies arrived.

Bayly was arrested on a misdemeanor child endangerment charge and quickly bonded out, but was immediately rearrested on a felony domestic violence charge. He was apparently convicted on similar charges back in 1999, after assaulting a 5-year-old family member.

I can’t stand the racket a heavy coat makes in the dryer, the sound of a child bouncing around in there would drive me insane(er).…

Police: Woman Threatens To Kill Child She Believes Is The Antichrist

February 10, 2012 at 1:46 pm by Jaded  

Lakeway, TX – An arrest warrant has been issued for a 46-year-old woman accused of entering a neighbor’s home last month ”with the intent of committing capital murder.” Her intended target – the Antichrist and his parents.

According to police, on the afternoon of January 27, Beth Ann Straley walked into her neighbor’s home through an unlocked door and confronted the family’s 37-year-old babysitter. She then reportedly whipped out a loaded .38 and ordered the sitter to find the Antichrist’s incubator.

The sitter, an apparent badass, not only failed to disclose the whereabouts of the evil one and his makers, but also disarmed Straley with very little fuss.

Mission unaccomplished, Straley then fled to another neighbor’s house, a home that belongs to a former Lakeway police chief, and reportedly admitted to those inside that her intent was to kill the man and woman of the home and their 5-year-old son…the Antichrist.

Straley was not in custody as of Thursday, but the arrest warrant sets bail at $500,000. She was apparently evaluated by a mental health deputy on the day of the incident.…

Police: Teen Shot Grandmother With Crossbow, Stabbed Her Nearly 100 Times

February 9, 2012 at 12:09 pm by Jaded  

Lake Wales, FL – A teen accused of brutally murdering his 67-year-old grandmother, shooting the woman in the back of the head with a crossbow and stabbing her approximately 93 times, apparently did so because he was pissed off at his uncle.

Jasper Aristotle Smiddie, 19, was taken into custody Wednesday after confessing the alleged crime to his father.

According to police, Smiddie initially intended to kill his uncle, but decided to take his anger out on grandma instead. That way, police say, his uncle would have to live with the death of his mother for the rest of his life.

Police said Smiddie, who lived with his grandmother, Gloria Helfrich, as well as his uncle, confronted the woman in her bedroom on Tuesday. He first fired the crossbow, then repeatedly stabbed the woman in the back, neck and face. He then left the room, but returned a short time later to bash the woman in the face with a wrench.

In what police are calling a “bizarre twist,” Smiddie locked his grandmother’s bedroom door and waited for his uncle to get home.…

Man Accused Of Domestic Violence Sentenced To Romantic Dinner At Red Lobster

February 8, 2012 at 3:01 pm by Jaded  

Only in Florida — A man accused of shoving his wife, putting his hand on her throat and raising his fist to her during an argument learned his fate during his initial court appearance earlier this week – a romantic dinner with the wife at Red Lobster.

“He’s going to stop by somewhere and he’s going to get some flowers,” Judge John “Jay” Hurley said at 47-year-old Joseph Bray’s bond hearing. “And then he’s going to go home, pick up his wife, get dressed, take her to Red Lobster. And then after they have Red Lobster, they’re going to go bowling.”

Bray’s wife, who was present at the hearing, said the couple began arguing after Bray neglected to wish her a happy birthday. At some point during the spat, Bray allegedly shoved the woman against a couch and placed one hand on her throat, raising the other as if to strike her. Fortunately, he did not.

Judge Hurley asked the woman if she was hurt or in fear of her husband. When the woman answered no, Hurley continued probing.…

Man Charged After Trying To Kill Cat That Made Him Fail Online Exam

February 8, 2012 at 1:30 pm by Jaded  

Gainesville, FL – Marvelle Rucker, 21, was taken into custody Sunday after admitting to police that he tried to smother his girlfriend’s cat because it caused him to fail an online exam.

Rucker’s girlfriend told police the cat was lethargic and unresponsive when she returned home from work Sunday afternoon. Also, in what I would have to assume was an argument over the state of the cat’s health, police say Rucker cornered the girlfriend in the bathroom and yelled at her and repeatedly poked her in the face for about 10 or 15 minutes.

When questioned about the cat, Rucker reportedly laughed as he told the arresting officer he placed a pillow over the critter’s face and punched it. He was trying to kill it, he said, because the damn thing caused him to fail a test.

Rucker admitted to cornering his girlfriend in the bathroom, telling police he wasn’t going to let her out until she listened to what he had to say. He also admitted to poking the woman in the face, but said that because he wasn’t actually beating her, he didn’t think it was a crime.…

Man Ignites Self While Trying To Set Estranged Wife On Fire

February 7, 2012 at 1:23 pm by Jaded  

Tampa, FL — A future Darwin Award candidate has been hospitalized in critical condition after police say he inadvertently set himself on fire while attempting to set fire to his estranged wife.

Matthew Wong, apparently distraught with the state of his 25-year marriage, filled a couple of empty bleach bottles with gasoline and headed over to his wife’s residence, where he sat and waited for her to leave for work Monday morning.

When the woman exited her apartment, police say Wong began chasing her around the complex, threatening to kill her while splashing her with gas… dousing himself in the process. An alert neighbor heard the commotion and grabbed 46-year-old Gloria Davis, pulling her into a nearby apartment.

“I had to bring her up because she kind of fell,” said Capitola Scott. “She was so hysterical, so I grabbed her to bring her on up here.”

Wong then allegedly doused the entryway and bushes surrounding the apartment where the woman was hiding, screamed, “I’m gonna to kill you!” and flicked his Bic.…

Supermarket Burglar Found Naked, Covered In Chocolate And Peanut Butter

February 4, 2012 at 2:32 am by Jaded  

Neon, KY – A man accused of breaking into a Food World IGA was taken into custody after police found him inside the store, butt-nekkid and covered in chocolate and peanut butter.

Ok, he wasn’t totally nekkid….he was wearing a pair of black boots.

According to the police report, 22-year-old Andrew Toothman entered the store early Tuesday morning by breaking the glass in the front door. Once inside, he layered himself in peanut butter and chocolate taken from the shelves.

Police noted the human peanut butter cup also discharged several fire extinguishers throughout the store and wrote “sorry” on the floor with Nyquil.

Store manager David Whitaker estimates the damages are somewhere in the $1,500 range. That’s a lot of Skippy!

Toothman was booked on charges of burglary, criminal mischief and indecent exposure, and has been ordered held on $25,000 bond.

This won’t come as a surprise to some of you, but I have often contemplated beginning my criminal career the same way – with the addition of a few well-placed raisins, a tin foil sword and a riding lawnmower.…

Police: Teen Walks In On Mother Having Sex, Gets Pepper Sprayed

February 3, 2012 at 1:49 pm by Jaded  

Pawtucket, RI — Dorcus Moore was taken into custody on child cruelty charges earlier this week for allegedly cutting off her 13-year-old daughter’s hair and dousing her in homemade pepper spray.

According to police, Moore became enraged after the teen walked in on her and her boyfriend having sex Sunday. The girl told police Moore ordered her to get a pair of scissors, which she then used to cut off all the kid’s hair.

When she finished with the kid’s ‘do, police say Moore then doused the kid’s face, arms, legs and vagina with pepper spray.

The girl apparently went to bed that night with chemical burns to her body, but alerted school officials the next day. School officials then alerted police.

Moore, 38, was released on a personal recognizance bond Wednesday, and ordered to have no contact with her daughter. The girl is currently with her father.

One neighbor apparently heard the kid being tortured, but did jack shit to help her. Another neighbor, who police believe may have held the teen down while Moore doused her in pepper spray, is being questioned.…