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Duchesne, UT — An unidentified 35-year-old woman is facing charges after police claim she took nekkid photos of her 13-year-old daughter and forwarded them to the girl’s boyfriend because the kid was apparently too stupid to work the camera herself.
The boyfriend, a 30-year-old man from Oregon, reportedly sent the teen a cellphone and requested that she send him nude photos of herself. And while most teen girls I know can work a cellphone in their sleep, this one was apparently confused with all the buttons and stuff. Enter Mother of the Year….
In what can only be an effort to win “cool points” with the teen, mom snapped about three photos of the kid in her birthday suit and forwarded them to the aging pervert in Oregon, police said.
During questioning, mom admitted that she was fully aware of the relationship between her daughter and the older man, and was also aware that her daughter intended to send him nude pics. She was promptly charged with three counts of sexual exploitation of a minor, a second-degree felony.…
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Little Rock, AR — A 58-year-old man is facing murder charges after police say he intentionally ran down a teen boy with his grocery-getter after the young thug relieved him of his wallet.
According to witnesses, Michael Sadler had just cashed a check at the Asher One stop convenience store Thursday, when 14-year-old Michael “Lil Flip” Stanley rode by on his bike and jacked his wallet before pedaling down the street.
Incensed, Sadler hopped into his mini-van and gave chase, jumping the curb and tearing through several yards before finally mowing the kid down in a vacant lot.
Once the kid was immobilized, Sadler reportedly dragged him out from underneath the van and began beating the holy hell out of him. One witness told police Sadler even tore the kid’s clothing off in an attempt to find the wallet.
“He ran over him than pulled him out from under the van and started beating him up and choking him. That’s what I saw.” said witness Dewayne Turner. ”He [Stanley] is well loved; you know kids are going to be kids.…
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Lake Wales, FL — Christopher Whaley, 23, is in police custody after reportedly admitting to fatally stabbing his grandmother as she bathed Saturday evening.
The proverbial sh*t apparently hit the fan shortly after a verbal confrontation between Whaley, his grandmother, 69-year-old Barbara Denmark, and another relative as the family was preparing to return home from a mini-vacation in Daytona Beach.
“Chris is exceptionally angry because he’s been forced to come home and couldn’t stay with new best friends,” said Sheriff Grady Judd. “So angry that he decided to kill his grandma who he’d been living with for the last five years.”
Family members told police that Whaley lived with Denmark for the last five years because, due to his “mischievous” behavior, she was the only one that would take him in. Shocking.
Anyway, upon his return home, Whaley began plotting. He decided to off grandma first, then figured he’d head on over to the aunt’s house and kill her, too.
With a knife in each hand, Whaley allegedly entered his grandmother’s bathroom and proceeded to slash and stab, leaving the woman with nearly 25 stab wounds.…
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Lilbourn, MO — I’m a little late with this one because I somehow managed to miss it. But seeing as how Dakota Valkyrie mentioned it during Saturday’s drunkcast, I figured I’d throw it up. Literally… kinda.
The smokin’ hot mass of flesh to the left is 48-year-old Melissa Eaton (no pun intended) — she’s been accused of boinkin’ a teenage boy on a fairly regular basis for the past two years. No, I don’t know if he’s stupid, blind and/or mentally impaired…
According to authorities, the heavenly beast began violating the boy back in April of 2010, when he was just 13, and continued until February of this year. Investigators and juvenile authorities believe the two hooked up for nookie (and cake?) at least twice a week.
Eatin’ pleaded not guilty to more than a dozen charges of statutory rape and sodomy late last week. I do believe the beast is still caged. And hongry.
I realize most teen boys will hit anything warm and squishy, but damn….…
Continue ReadingBabysitter Charged After Hairbrush Handle Breaks Off In Child’s Rectum
April 30, 2012 at 10:25 am by Jaded
Nashville, TN — A 39-year-old babysitter accused of breaking off a 3-4 inch hairbrush handle in her young charge’s ass had one hell of an explanation for police — she was simply trying to relieve the poor tot of his constipation.
According to police, Becky Burlison was arrested on charges of aggravated child rape and felony child abuse earlier this month, after allegedly violating the 2-year-old tot’s poop chute with the handle…. twice. It was during the second insertion that the handle broke off and became lodged inside the boy’s body.
Burlison reportedly told police she thought the kid might be constipated and believed the insertion of the brush handle might stir things up a bit and get the kid to crap.
Police say Burlison waited about 45-minutes for the handle to reappear before seeking medical assistance. Fortunately, the child was able to pass it without surgery.
The dumbass was ordered held on a $200,000 bond.…
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Grand Junction, CO – A 49-year-old man who told police he shot a woman in the head after mistaking her large red mohawk for a large red bird that had been antagonizing his cats has been sentenced to five years probation.
Derrill Rockwell told police he spotted what he thought was the bullyish bird sitting on a hill near his home in the early morning hours of October 5, so he grabbed his .22 and went outside to confront it. His intent, he told police, was to “spook” it away.
Rockwell fired one shot, but didn’t see the bird fly away. Soon after, he told police, he heard a woman’s voice, moaning in pain. Turns out, it wasn’t a bird – it was a 23-year-old woman sportin’ a large red mohawk. And, well, a new gunshot wound to the head.
Rockwell later told police he ran to the woman’s aid and offered a wet towel for her gushin’ noggin. Then, he said, he rushed her to the emergency room, leaving his name and phone number with hospital staff.…
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Omaha, NE – A 10-year-old girl and her 12-year-old brother were charged with arson this week for starting a fire that left their mother’s boyfriend in critical condition, suffering burns to nearly half his body.
According to prosecutors, the alleged firebugs and their two siblings had been left in the care of an uncle Thursday evening, while mom and her boyfriend went out partying. The couple returned home shortly before the fire started and went to bed.
After watching an episode of Tom and Jerry at about 4:30 Friday morning, prosecutors say the dangerous duo poured a ring of gasoline around the bed where their mother and her boyfriend, 37-year-old Jermain Westbrook, were sleeping, then set it on fire.
Mom, Tanesha Beard, awoke immediately, but was unable to rouse her sleeping beau. Beard and the children managed to escape the home unharmed.
Westbrook, however, wasn’t so lucky. Firefighters rescued him from the second-story bedroom, but not before he had suffered smoke inhalation and third-degree burns to nearly half of his body.
At a juvenile court hearing later that same day, Beard apparently interrupted the proceeding and declared that she was the one that set the fire.…
Continue ReadingMan Tells Police He Gutted Neighbor With “Big-Ass Knife” After Disagreement
March 19, 2012 at 8:08 am by Jaded
Tampa, FL — Steve Lott, 30, was taken into custody Tuesday after he apparently called 911 to report he had cut his neighbor with a “big-ass knife” because the man had entered his home.
When police arrived on scene, they found 56-year-old Tony Jackson suffering from a massive wound to the gut. So massive, police say, his internal organs and intestines were visible and/or falling out.
According to investigators, after a long standing dispute with Jackson, Lott had finally had enough and walked over to the man’s home and opened up his gut with his big-ass, razor-sharp knife.
Police say Lott resisted arrest and was tasered while being taken into custody. And though he later admitted to quarreling with Jackson, he denied stabbing the guy. Lott is now facing charges of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and resisting an officer without violence.
Prosecutors have asked for increased bond, calling Lott a habitual violent offender. (Lott spent a year in prison after he was convicted of assaulting a pregnant woman with a deadly weapon and holding her captive in his home back in ’07).…
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Weslaco, TX — A 15-year-old boy accused of poking a hole in his pal’s gut is apparently trying to convince police an Ouija board made him do it.
The teen was hanging out with a couple friends late last month, when he allegedly stabbed the 14-year-old victim in the gut with a 4-inch knife, causing a severe laceration to the boy’s intestine.
Afterwards, police say, the alleged stabber walked the stabbee to a nearby auto repair shop, where an ambulance was summoned.
A third teen claims to have witnessed the pokin’, and later told police he heard the alleged stabber tell the victim to pretend he had fallen on the blade.
The 15-year-old, who police say has no criminal background or questionable mental health history, reportedly told police he poked his friend because an Ouija board commanded it.
Weslaco police spokesman J.P. Rodriguez admits that the case is ”a little eerie” but said investigators believe the boy used the Ouija board to rationalize the attack.
“He actually believed what the Ouija board advised him, that the friend was the cause of his problems,” Rodriguez said.…
Continue ReadingMan Found Watching Porn In Neighbor’s Home While Wearing Her Underwear
March 17, 2012 at 12:46 pm by Jaded
Bethlehem, PA — A 52-year-old man was taken into custody earlier this week after police say his neighbor found him inside her home, watching porn while wearing a pair of her frillies.
The woman told police she left her house for about 25 minutes Monday evening, and when she returned, the panty-clad man known to her as “Mike” was sitting on her couch watching a porn he had apparently brought into the home with him.
Mike, later identified as Michael Zullo, then asked the woman if she “wanted to party” and said that he had brought along some cocaine and marijuana.
Mike must have been butt-ugly — the woman declined his offer and called the police instead.
Denied, Mike removed the party pooper’s panties, tossed ‘em on the floor and exited the home, leaving his “party favors” in her kitchen.
Zullo, who reportedly admitted to being inside the woman’s home without her permission, was booked on charges of criminal trespass, possession of cocaine, possession of a small amount of marijuana, loitering and prowling at night and open lewdness.…
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Las Vegas, NV — A woman accused of stabbing her 6-year-old daughter to death with a pair of scissors reportedly told police she did so because she felt an “evil presence” in her home and believed her child may have been possessed by a demon.
After being found naked on the streets of Las Vegas, covered in blood from what she claimed was “the Lamb of God,” 27-year-old Danielle Slaughter apparently expressed disbelief that she had disposed of her child in such a way.
“Did I kill my daughter? Is she dead?” Slaughter questioned police, later claiming that “wasn’t like her.”
Slaughter, who apparently began taking the dietary supplement Hydroxycut about four days prior to the murder, reportedly told police she had felt an evil presence in the home and claimed ”she never felt this way before,” she just wanted to remove the evil from the house.
Slaughter claims 6-year-old Kyla Franks began speaking and laughing in an evil voice Sunday evening. When Kyla began kicking and clawing at her, Slaughter said, she grabbed a pair of scissors and stabbed the girl multiple times.…
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Elyria, OH – Ameryst Blaylock, 26, made her first court appearance Monday to answer to charges of felonious assault and domestic violence after police say she bit off a portion of her husband’s lip during an argument earlier this month.
According to court documents, Ameryst and her husband Thomas had been involved in some sort of verbal altercation in the early morning hours of March 9, when the woman went all pit bull on him and attempted to chew off his face.
Ameryst allegedly socked her hubby in the face before declaring that if he didn’t want her anymore, she’d make damn sure no one would ever want him again. With that, she pounced on him, bit off the right side of his lower lip and spit it out.
Hubby hightailed it to the ER, sans lip. Unfortunately for him, the injury was too extensive for the lip to be reattached, so police just tossed the chunk of face meat after recovering it from the couple’s home.
In court, Thomas Blaylock claimed he is in no danger and asked the judge to lift a no-contact order so he and his “loving” wife could attend marriage counseling.…
Continue ReadingMan Accused Of Beating Woman With Hammer, Raping Her Child, Stabbing Dog
March 12, 2012 at 8:13 am by Jaded
Carpentersville, IL — The totally sane lookin’ fella to the left is facing a butt-load of charges after police say he beat a woman unconscious with a hammer, raped her daughter and stabbed her dog.
Daniel Happ was arrested early Wednesday morning after police responded to the woman’s home on a disturbance call. When police arrived on scene, they found a 23-year-old woman unconscious and suffering from numerous blows to the head. Also in the home, the woman’s 8-year-old daughter, who police believe had been raped by Happ. Police say the sh*thead threatened to bludgeon the child with the same hammer he beat the snot out of her mamma with as he defiled her.
In addition to the two human victims, police also found a dog in the home to be suffering from several stab wounds.
The woman was transported to the hospital for treatment, but because of her condition, she was unable to assist police with their investigation. The child was interviewed by professionals at the Kane County Child Advocacy Center and taken someplace safe, and the dog is in the care of a local veterinarian.…
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Vancouver, WA — A man accused of putting a bullet in his roommate’s head, after “accidentally” shooting him in the back of the neck, is apparently trying to convince police that he did so as an act of mercy.
Police say 19-year-old Matthew Starr was out target shooting with roommates Joshua Schenk and Zachary Mattson late last month, when, according to Starr, Mattson slipped and almost fell. Starr said Mattson grabbed him, causing him to stumble and accidentally fire off a round. The bullet struck 25-year-old Schenk in the back of the neck.
Starr reportedly told police he knew medical help was more than five minutes away, so instead of calling 911, he just went ahead and put Schenk out of his misery with a direct shot to the head. “Like you would a deer that was injured or suffering,” Starr told police.
Since dead guys have no need for cash, Starr allegedly swiped $300 from Schenk’s wallet. Starr and Matson then dragged Schenk’s body off the trail and covered it with a tarp, where it was found by a hiker two days later.…
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Annapolis, MD — Police arrested a 28-year-old man for allegedly exposing himself to women at Anne Arundel Community College on numerous occasions back in February.
Several women reportedly complained to police that a man in a silver vehicle was exposing himself on campus between the 16th and 22nd of February.
After an extensive investigation involving both campus security and local law enforcement, a potential suspect was identified. That suspect, 28-year-old Jacob Bovia, was arrested Friday after he was seen acting all suspicious-like while seated in his silver Honda Accord.
One thing led to another, and police soon discovered Bovia was in possession of fake genitalia. When questioned, Bovia reportedly admitted to “exposing” the fake junk while, presumably, keeping the real junk in his draws. And that, my friends, resulted in three counts of indecent exposure and two counts of disorderly conduct.…
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Pittsburgh, PA — Authorities have released a composite sketch of a man they believe unlawfully entered a South Side apartment last month and sexually assaulted a woman as she showered.
According to police, the man entered the apartment through an unlocked door at about 8:30 p.m. on February 2, and got all rapey. The 23-year-old victim apparently scared him off after the alleged assault.
The hooded bandit is described as a white male, 30 to 35-years old, about 5-feet 9-inches tall and 155 pounds. Police said he wore a gray hooded sweatshirt with the drawstrings pulled closed around his face, blue denim pants and red and white sneakers.
If you have any information on the whereabouts of this man, you are urged to call 412-323-7141. Anonymous calls will be accepted.
That bastard!…
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St. Louis, MO – An 18-year-old man who reportedly asked a friend to shoot him in the head at point-blank range earlier this week has died.
According to police, Matthew Pellegrini, 21-year-old Kevin Beindorff, and another person were sitting in a car outside Beindorff’s home late Tuesday evening when Beindorff showed his friends a revolver. For whatever reason, Pellegrini apparently asked Beindorff to shoot him. Being a real gem of a friend, Beidorff complied, firing one shot directly into Pellegrini’s forehead.
Police say Beindorff then drove his friend to a local hospital for treatment.
Initially charged with first-degree assault and armed criminal action, Beindorff’s charges were upgraded to murder Thursday, after Pellegrini was taken off life support. Bond has been set at $300,000.…
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Iowa City, IA – Natasha Kriener, 26, turned herself in last week on child endangerment charges after doctors discovered her toddler had a BAC of .097.
The 22-month-old boy was apparently crying and unsteady on his feet when his father picked him up for visitation on February 15. Dad had the boy seen in the emergency room, and was more than likely expecting doctors to tell him the kid had an ear infection. Instead, doctors told the man the kid was sh*tfaced.
As previously stated, the 45-pound child’s BAC was .097 – the legal limit in the state of Iowa is .08.
When police made contact with Kreiner later that day, they learned she, too, was intoxicated. Police say Kreiner’s BAC was .251. And after failing to explain how her son got hold of the alcohol, one of her other children stepped up to the plate and told police the toddler “drank pop and got sick.”
Kriener is now being held in the Johnson County Jail in lieu of $ 20,000 cash-only bail.…
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New Castle, IN — A 56-year-old woman is facing battery charges after her two young grandsons claimed she burned their tongues with a heater, causing blisters.
The injuries were discovered late last month after the boys, ages 6 and 3, were returned to their foster parents after a visit with their grandmother.
The older child reportedly told police he and his brother were ordered to line up with their tongues sticking out. Grandma then used a screen from the front of a heater to burn them.
After an investigation that spanned nearly a month, Shirley Hagerman was taken into custody on two felony counts of battery. Police say she bonded out the day after her arrest.
No word on the motive behind the alleged incident, but I’m going with crazy.…
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Rye, NY — A building superintendent previously employed at the Rye Colony apartment complex is presumably hanging his head in shame after a suspicious tenant learned the super had been entering his apartment and buggerin’ his male Labrador Retriever.
The unidentified tenant told investigators he suspected someone had been illegally entering his apartment while he was gone, so he set up a nannycam. On February 8, said cam captured 41-year-old Kujtim Nicaj entering the apartment with his key. Once inside, police say, Nicaj proceeded to sodomize the critter.
After learning of the arrest, property manager Mike May promptly sh*tcanned Nicaj, who had worked at the complex for six years. May also took away all the keys Nicaj had to residents’ apartments.
Nicaj, a married father of two, was arrested on charges of burglary and sexual misconduct. He has since been released on $100,000 bail.
Nicaj’s lawyer, Steven Davidson, said that his client denies molesting the dog. And though he is aware of the videotape, he claims the neither he nor his client have been given the opportunity to view it.…
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