About Jaded
North Port, FL – Have you ever found yourself overcome with the sudden desire to drop everything and rub one off while shuffling through your local WalMart? No? Me either. Well, except for that one time…but damn, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups were 10 for $10! The urge was there, but I curbed it, thankyouverymuch. William Black, the handsome devil you see to the left, is obviously lacking in the self-control department – he was recently arrested for wankin’ it in the toy aisle. According to the arrest affidavit, a female employee working in the toy department Tuesday evening heard someone moaning and groaning in one of the aisles. When she rounded the corner to investigate, she saw Mr. Black standing there, peener out and at full mast, masturbating to the swimsuit edition of Sports Illustrated. The woman informed security, sorry…Asset Protection Associates, and two of ‘em responded to her call. Black, somehow oblivious to the growing audience, was just finishing up when the Associates arrived. He reportedly shot a load onto the floor, attempted to rub it in with his shoe, and wiped his slimy hand off on a toy before heading off to finish his shopping.…
Continue ReadingMan Accused Of Indecent Exposure Is Concerned About The Size Of His Package
September 15, 2010 at 9:18 am by Jaded
Allentown, PA – A woman called police Monday morning to report she was being stalked by a skeevy bastid inside a Price Rite grocery store. She told police that when she pulled into the grocery store parking lot that morning, she happened to glance over at the car next to hers and noticed a man sitting there with his junk exposed. Obviously unimpressed, the woman collected her child from her vehicle and made her way into the store. As she was walking through the aisles with her kid, the pervy man from the parking lot reportedly confronted her and asked what she thought about the size of his dick. Heh…I’d go there, but it’s just too easy. The woman told the idiot to leave her alone and just go away. He didn’t. She said he followed her through three more aisles, repeating his question. Whether he ever received a satisfactory answer is unknown. Police later arrested the man, 41-year-old Quilvio Bisono, and charged him with stalking, indecent exposure, open lewdness and two counts each of harassment and disorderly conduct.…
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Sacramento, CA - According to police, a 32-year-old man was selling ice cream from a bicycle cart on Monday when he was attacked by a crazy lady. The woman, who bears a striking resemblance to Leatherface, went at the man with an economy-size bottle of bleach. Police say 56-year-old Karen Washington grabbed the bottle of bleach from her car and drenched the man with it’s contents because she believed he shortchanged her about a week prior. Hold a grudge much? Though the man received a healthy dose of bleach to the face and body, he did not go to hospital for treatment. Washington was booked on charges of of assault with caustic chemicals and bail was set at $110,000. Is it just me, or does that woman’s face look like one of those creepy CSI forensic facial reconstruction sculptures? I honestly can’t tell if she is a burn victim, over-tanned, or a zombie.…
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Fort Myers, FL – On September 9th, police received a 911 call reporting that two children had been abandoned on the side of the road by their nanny. When police arrived to talk to the children, they learned that the nanny in question, Krisitine Bedinotti, was friggin’ batshit crazy. Because of the Rosh Hashanah holiday, the children were out of school that day and Kristine had planned on taking them to the library. Unfortunately, the library was closed. Sooo, Krisitine drove to a Greyhound bus station and left the children waiting in the car while she used the restroom. After that, it was off to Tasty Treat! Upon their arrival at the ice cream shop, Kristine gave the children some money and headed off to the restroom. The children told officers she was in there for approximately 15 minutes, and when she came out, shit got weird. After some erratic stop-and-go driving, Kristine pulled off the road and asked a stranger for a cigarette before running into some random front yard where she attempted to steal a puppy while allegedly screaming, “The dog is going to call police, he is mine!” 
The kids, scared half to death at that point, exited the car.…
Cincinnati, OH - The pathetic lookin’ young lady you see to the left is 21-year-old Jessica Gamble. Her sad, tear-stained face is staring back at you today because she’s stupid. And not just a little bit. Back on June 12, Jessica apparently taught her toddler daughter how to smoke a joint. Mother-daughter bonding at it’s finest, folks. What’s more, the genius captured the ever important milestone on her cell phone. At some point, a copy of that video found it’s way to Hamilton County Jobs and Family Services and the 2-year-old child was immediately removed from her mother’s care and placed with a relative for the duration of the investigation. Jessica was arrested last Friday and charged with one felony count of corrupting another with drugs. Bond has been set at $10,000. Police say another person has been arrested in connection with the incident, but a name hasn’t been released. Morons……
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Gainesville, FL – A 13-year-old girl was asleep in her bedroom at her grandmother’s home early Monday morning when her grandmother reportedly opened the bedroom door and said, “You have a visitor,” before allowing an inebriated 36-year-old Kendrick Johnson into the room. The girl said Johnson then locked the door and proceeded to molest her. According to investigators, she was able to escape the bedroom by telling the man she needed to use the restroom. At that point, the girl left the house to call her mother, who is out of state. The child’s mother, in turn, informed police. When questioned, the child’s grandmother told authorities she had allowed Johnson to spend the night at her house because he was drunk. She also reportedly told one officer that she wasn’t suprised Johnson was sexually attracted to her granddaughter, after all, the girl is beautiful. “Just look at her,” the grandmother said. “She’s beautiful and doesn’t look her age at 13.” And that would have been about the time I beat the stupid out of the woman with my nightstick.…
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Kemp, TX – According to police, 23-year-old Tyler Sides spent a good part of the day Sunday getting shit-faced and acting like an ass. Like most fools who can’t handle their liquor, Tyler reportedly became belligerent and argumentative. Police also say that on several occasions throughout the day, Tyler supposedly spit on his mother. His father, Marcus Sides, apparently had all he could take from his antagonistic spawn once the spit started flying and after a heated verbal altercation, shot his son once in the gut. Tyler died from his injuries later that day. Marcus told police he did it in an attempt to protect his wife. The 50-year-old man has been booked on one count of murder and is being held in lieu of $500,000 bond. I’m sure there is more to this story than is being reported in the media, but I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that Tyler has long been a thorn in the side of those who loved him. Even so, you would think the police would have been called in long before a gun was drawn.…
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Ouachita Parish, LA - A woman called 911 Saturday morning to report that there was a strange nekkid man taking a bath in her backyard swimming pool – dude had even soaped up. Not only did the nekkid man muck up her pool, he also reportedly humped a glass patio door. Hell…who hasn’t? When police arrived on scene, they found the stranger in question, 32-year-old Matthew Hicks, walking down the driveway wearing nothing but his birthday suit and a pair of black rubber boots. Seriously, why was no one filming this shit? When confronted, Hicks told officers he had no idea how he ended up in the woman’s pool – he was from Arizona and his vehicle had been towed prior to the bubbly incident. He did eventually own up to the deed, and when asked why he committed the lewd act upon the patio door, his response was, “She saw me?” Hicks has been booked on one count of exposing his genitals in public and one count of trespassing.…
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Marion, IL – In September 2008, Tina Pickens was shot and wounded by her husband, 61-year-old Harry Schauf Jr, in an apparent domestic altercation. Pickens recovered from her injuries and her husband was later convicted on charges of aggravated battery and sentenced to a 50-year prison term. Now, I don’t know about you folks, but if my husband/boyfriend/flavor of the week gave me a hot lead injection, I wouldn’t be too fired up about jumping into another relationship any time soon. Pickens, however, soon found herself another abusive asshole with which to spend her time – while still married to the first asshole. In September 2009, her latest beau, 47-year-old Patrick Williams, was arrested on charges of assault after slapping her around a bit, cutting and bruising her face. He bonded out on January 11, 2010, and was ordered to have no contact with Pickens. Just two weeks later, Williams was picked up again for domestic battery and violating the conditions of his bond after slapping Pickens in the face.…
Continue ReadingSun Cha Warhola Charged With Murder In Deaths Of Her Two Children
September 10, 2010 at 10:13 am by Jaded
Layton, UT - Kenneth Warhola arrived home from work Wednesday evening to an eerily quiet house. He set off to find his wife and two children and soon realized the three were barricaded in his son’s bedroom. He called out to his wife and demanded she open the door. She told him to give her 10 minutes before entering the room. When Kenneth finally forced his way into the room, he found the children, 7-year-old Jean and 8-year-old James, lying on the bed, covered by a blanket. Sun Cha Warhola asked her husband not to look at the children, but he felt his son’s face and found it cold to the touch. Both had been strangled to death. Kenneth then went to a neighbor’s home to call 911. When police arrived on scene, they noticed signs of a struggle in the child’s bedroom. Both children had defensive wounds and ligature marks on their throats, and Sun Cha was sportin’ some injuries of her own. After being treated for those injuries, the 44-year-old woman was arrested and charged with two counts of aggravated murder.…
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Suffolk, VA – Joy Joco put her horses out to graze Monday afternoon and headed into town to run some errands. When she returned home approximately three hours later, one of her horses, a 16-year-old Tennessee Walker named Angel, wasn’t in the pen where she had been left. As Joy approached Angel, she could see blood on the animal’s hindquarters. “I was like, ‘Oh my God!’” Joy said, “I called the vet immediately. He came out and examined and said to me, ‘Joy, do you have any enemies?’ And I said, ‘Not that I know of.’ He said ‘This horse has been raped, you need to call the police.’” The vet believes the horse was sexually assaulted with a blunt object, possibly a baseball bat. And judging by marks found on the horses hind legs, it appears as if she was restrained during the violation. A witness reported seeing a silver Ford “dually” parked in the driveway while the family was gone and Joy said someone cut through a portion of the fence around the pasture to gain access to Angel.…
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Kansas City, MO – A 64-year-old woman told police she woke up to an intruder in her bedroom at about 1:00 Tuesday morning. That intruder was her neighbor, 62-year-old Laurence Saunders. And he was *gag* butt-nekkid. Saunders reportedly grabbed the woman by the arm and told her he was “just being friendly.” The woman wrapped her hand around the man’s beard and proceeded to drag the old dude to the front door of her mobile home. Before she could throw him out on his scraggly old ass, he allegedly grabbed her by the throat and attempted to choke her. She reached out and grabbed a tape measure and knocked him in the melon two or three times. He then left of his own accord. The woman said she found the man’s shorts sitting on top of a DVD player in her living room. She picked ‘em up and threw them at Saunders, who was sitting on her front porch, crying. He was arrested and booked on charges of burglary, sexual misconduct and two counts of assault.…
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Manchester, UK – Gary Higgs, 44, has been sentenced to life behind bars for the murder of his live-in girlfriend, 41-year-old Joanne Kitchen. According to authorities, the couple was engaged in some mid-morning nookie last April when Kitchen supposedly yelled out, “Chris, harder!” And, as is apparent from the very first sentence of this story, dude’s name ain’t Chris. Angered, Higgs reportedly dismounted and walked into the kitchen to think things through and make some coffee before returning to the bedroom to question her about “Chris”. Joanne explained the the Chris in question was her daughter’s boyfriend, who, along with her daughter, had given her a ride home the previous evening. She insisted it was an innocent mistake. Higgs wasn’t buying it. He walked back into the kitchen and grabbed a knife. When he returned to the bedroom, he stabbed Joanne once in the back. She rolled over and tried to explain once again that it was just a mistake – he stabbed her in the chest. “You’ve killed me,” she said to him.…
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Chicago, IL – Tierra Aldridge, 24, reportedly walked into a West Side police station at approximately 4:20 Sunday morning and asked an officer, “Can I leave my son here, because I don’t want him anymore.” An officer told the woman that, no, she couldn’t just abandon her kid at the cop shop, but maybe the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services could assist her – would she like him to give ‘em a ring? Not satisfied with that answer, Aldridge reportedly threatened to leave the 3-year-old child outside on the curb if they didn’t take him in. “Maybe he’ll be raped or killed or something,” she said before walking out of the station without the boy. An officer followed her outside and immediately placed her under arrest. She’s been charged with endangering the life and health of a child. She’s also been slapped with a possession of a controlled substance after an officer found a white rock-like substance during a pat-down. Bond has been set at $75,000. The child was turned over to his grandmother and DCFS has been contacted.…
Continue ReadingSex Offender Accused Of Raping 4-Year-Old In Thrift Store Restroom
September 9, 2010 at 5:48 am by Jaded
Sandy, UT – Shortly after a woman and her 4-year-old daughter were separated inside a Deseret Industries thrift store Tuesday afternoon, a registered sex offender was raping the child in the men’s room. Police say the child asked for permission to head over to the toy section, and when mom turned her back for a few seconds, the child was gone. Unable to locate her child, the woman told store employees her child was missing and an announcement was made over the intercom. While checking the restrooms, mom realized the door to the men’s room was blocked. She pounded on the door, yelling her child’s name. From behind the bathroom door, the child called out, “Mom! Mom!” When the woman asked the little girl to open the door, the child replied that she couldn’t. Mom continued to pound on the door until the door opened and a strange man stepped out. The woman grabbed the man and asked him what he was doing with her child. The man, 41-year-old Richard Randall, shimmied out of her grasp and beat feet out of the store.…
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Belton, MO - Cynthia Walters called 911 Monday evening to report she had just shot her husband. When police and paramedics arrived, they found 66-year-old Robert Walters suffering from a gunshot wound to the face. Mrs. Walters told police she and her husband had been arguing off and on for several days – she wanted to return to the workforce and he said she was too stupid to do so. While Mr. Walters was lounging in his recliner, Cynthia. retrieved a .38-caliber, pointed it at his face and fired. One round entered the man’s face just beneath his nose. Cynthia told police she didn’t realize the gun was loaded – she just wanted to scare him a little. The couple’s daughter, however, told investigators her mother should have known the gun was loaded…Robert Walters has always kept his guns loaded. As a matter of fact, officers removed three loaded handguns from the couple’s bedroom in addition the the .38. The daughter also told police her parents fought on a regular basis.…
Continue ReadingTeacher Gets Six Years In Prison For Having Sex With 10-Year-Old
September 8, 2010 at 8:39 am by Jaded
Durham, NC – In May of 2009, we posted a story about Gina Watring – a teaching assistant at Creekside Elementary School who was accused of having sex with a 10-year-old boy. She was booked on charges of first-degree kidnapping, felony child abduction and rape of a child. Watring posted $100,000 bail and was released on the condition that she refrain from contacting the victim in the case. She made the news again in July of last year after the boy’s parents discovered Watring was up to her old tricks. Shortly after bonding out, Watring reportedly left a handwritten note and a new cell phone for the boy near a stop sign in his neighborhood so she could continue to communicate with him. When the boy’s mother found the new phone in his backpack and confronted him, the kid went apeshit. He hit his mom and threatened her with a knife and hammer before kicking out a bedroom window and attempting to run away. His parents said his reaction was so extreme, they were considering having him committed. Watring was rearrested on obstruction of justice charges and prosecutors asked that her bond be revoked – citing the emotional harm done to the boy.…
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Springfield, MO – Chilquitta Wane Favors, 25, has been charged in federal court with the attempted murder of her husband, Private Charles Favors, and their 10-month-old child. According to authorities, Chilquitta physically assaulted her husband last Friday and was ordered to have no contact with him. Paying no heed to said order, she reportedly slipped a foot-long chef’s knife into the sleeve of her jacket and set out to talk with her husband the very next day. When it was apparent that the man was not going to kiss and make up and was not going to allow her to take custody of her children, she pulled out the knife and got to stabbin‘. Unfortunately, Private Favors was holding their child in his arms at the time of the attack. The baby girl was knifed in the leg – the tendons, nerves and muscles were severed as a result. Charles suffered a 6-inch laceration to the back of his head in addition injuries to his back and arm. Chilquitta later told investigators that she was just going to keep on stabbing until her husband could no longer prevent her from taking the children.…
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Livermore, CA – Gary Gomez is looking at attempted murder charges after an altercation with his 14-year-old son over the weekend. Gomez, his wife, his son and his son’s two friends were fishing at Bethany Reservoir late Sunday evening when one of the other boys decided he wanted to go home. This displeased Gomez – it was after midnight and he didn’t want to drive the kid home right that second. That displeased Gomez’s son – he was insistent that his father take his friend home. Tempers flared and an argument broke out. That led to a physical confrontation between father and son. Police say that when it was apparent the teen the upper-hand in the fist fight, Gomez reportedly pulled out a fishing knife and started getting stabby. The boy was stabbed a total of 11 times. When the kid’s mother tried to intervene, she was stabbed in the hand. The woman managed to get all three boys into the family van, and as she started to drive away, Gomez stabbed one of the tires.…
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Roebuck, SC - Police say that after Jamie Earnhart attacked his girlfriend Sunday morning, her kids whooped his ass. And they did a damn fine job, too. Earnhart admitted to police that in the midst of a heated argument, he shoved his woman while she was holding her baby. He then reportedly hit her in the face while continuing to scream at her. When the kids heard the ruckus, they went all Fists of Fury on his ass, beating him and keeping him from leaving the home until the police showed up. Unfortunately, the source article doesn’t list the children’s ages – I’m picturing dude getting his butt beat by a couple of toddlers (and it’s hilarious), but I’m assuming the the woman has at least a teen-ager or two. Earnhart required a little medical assistance after the beatdown, and was transported to jail immediately after his release from the hospital. *snicker* Already the proud owner of one previous domestic violence conviction, Earnhart, 27, will soon have another to add to his collection.…
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