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Man Slit Girl's Throat After She Convinced Mom To Break Up With HimThree Teens Charged With The Beating Deaths Of Two Homeless MenMan Sentenced For Beating Toddler To Death While Trying To Turn Her GayMatthew Durham Accused Of Sexually Abusing Children At Kenyan OrphanageToothless Man Accused Of Gumming Roommate After She Refused To Clean His EarWoman Critically Injured After Teens Throw Rock From OverpassTerry Davis Accused Of Molesting Female Rottweiler PuppyParents Claim Son Committed Suicide After Masturbation Video Went ViralElizabeth Johnson, Mother Of Missing Baby Gabriel, A Free WomanTom Greer, 80, Has No Regrets About Shooting Pregnant Intruder To Death

About Jaded

Title: The Baconator
Published Articles: 1977
Website: The Dreamin' Demon

Bacon. That is all.

Man Caught In The Act Of Molesting Child Gets Severe BeatdownDaytona Beach, FL – Police say a Florida father beat the everloving shit out of an 18-year-old man after he caught him sexually abusing his 11-year-old son.

According to police, Raymond Frolander, a trusted family friend, was caring for the boy Friday evening. Dad left the house to grab something to eat at about 1:00 a.m. Upon his return, he said, he heard a strange noise coming from the bedroom. When he walked into the room, he found Frolander, pants at his ankles, performing a sex act on the young boy.

And then, it was all about fists and feet and blood and bruises and pain.

“I just walked in on a grown man molesting [name redacted],” the unidentified 35-year-old man told a dispatcher. “And I got him in a bloody puddle for you officer.”

When asked by the dispatcher if any weapons were involved, the father said “my fist and my foot.”

“I didn’t proceed to ask him any questions sir,” the father said. “He is nice and knocked out on the floor for you.…

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Toothless Man Accused Of Gumming Roommate After She Refused To Clean His EarLakewood, WA – A 52-year-old man was arrested Sunday after angrily gumming his roommate’s arm because she refused to clean his ear.

Kenneth Chambers and his roommate were apparently involved in some sort of strange altercation that stemmed from her refusal to clean his ear. One thing led to another, and Chambers ended up ripping the woman’s bedroom door off its hinges.

The alleged victim told police that at that point, she sat on Chambers’ lap and tried to talk to him, but he refused to be placated and pushed her to the floor. He then gummed her wrist. And then, well, he choked her a little bit and poured water all over her, damaging her hearing aid. When she stated she was going to call 911, Chambers threatened to kill her, she said.

When questioned by police, Chambers claimed the woman hit him… he was only trying to defend himself. He did admit to gumming her, but said it couldn’t have hurt because he doesn’t have any teeth.

Chambers was arrested after a witness confirmed the victim’s account of the story.…

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Man Arrested For Stabbing Watermelon In Threatening MannerThomaston, CT – Carmine Cervellino, 49, was arrested last week after his wife told police he stabbed a watermelon in a manner she perceived as “threatening.”

It all started on July 4, when Cervellino’s wife contacted police after finding a toolbox in their home with marijuana and an assortment of pills hidden inside. She told police she snatched the drugs and took photos of the items with her cell phone before stashing them in her bedroom.

When police arrived at the couple’s home, the toolbox and the alleged drug stash were nowhere to be found. The woman’s pictures weren’t going to be enough to make a case, so no arrest was made.

Later that day, the woman claims, she returned home to find a watermelon on the kitchen counter with a butcher knife sticking out of it. Just moments later, she said, her husband walked into the kitchen and, without saying a word, began carving the melon in what she called a passive-aggressive and menacing manner. She whipped out her cell phone again and took pictures of the knife, which she later showed to police.…

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Man Accused Of Forcing Child To Ingest Meth

July 16, 2014 at 4:07 pm by  

Man Accused Of Forcing Child To Ingest MethTitus County, TX — Trevor Ward, 26, is behind bars after police say he forced a young child to ingest meth.

Police were called to the home of Ward’s girlfriend at about 4:00 a.m. Sunday morning. Upon their arrival, they learned Ward and his girlfriend had been involved in some sort of argument, which led to Ward assaulting the woman. When the woman’s friends attempted to intervene, Ward apparently attacked them with a piece of lumber, injuring one badly enough to require a trip to the hospital.

Police arrested Ward at the scene and charged him with assault by contact/family violence and aggravated assault with deadly weapon for the lumber assault on the woman’s friend.

After Ward was transported to the Titus County Jail, officers learned that prior to their arrival, Ward had busted into a bedroom in the home and forced one of the woman’s two children, ages 8 and 9, to ingest an undisclosed amount of meth.

The child later tested positive for meth and was treated at the hospital.…

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Dollar General Underwear Thief Flees The Scene In Ice Cream TruckRock Hill, SC – A 34-year-old woman has been jailed after she allegedly swiped two pairs of underwear from a Dollar General store before making her getaway in an ice cream truck.

Surveillance video shows Lessa Iannone stuffing the undies in her purse Thursday afternoon, and walking out of the store without paying for them. She was seen making her escape in an ice cream truck.

One of the officers dispatched to the store was apparently familiar with the sticky fingered panty bandit, and she was quickly apprehended.

This is not her first rodeo…. she was busted for shoplifting back in March.

Iannone was charged with shoplifting and ordered held on a $2,000 bond.

Not gonna lie… I was hoping she had stolen the ice cream truck after lifting the frillies. Had my fingers crossed and everything. Kinda bummed me out to learn she actually operates the thing for a living. And a hard living, too, I’m guessing, if one can’t afford to shell out a couple of bucks for unattractive undies.…

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Taco Bell Employee Accused Of Shooting Dissatisfied Customer With BB GunSpringfield, MA — A 26-year-old Taco Bell employee has been charged with multiple counts of assault and battery after allegedly shooting an angry customer with a BB gun.

Responding to a call of a possible hold-up early Saturday morning, officers arrived on scene to find the alleged victim banging on the front door of the establishment.

The unidentified 26-year-old man reportedly told officers that he had gone through the drive-thru to order some tacos, but grew angry after the employees refused to acknowledge him. He stated that he banged on the window and began yelling for service, but no one responded. Now hungry and angry, the man parked his car and approached the restaurant to complain about the shitty service. Police say the man was met at the locked front door by Steven Noska.

The victim told police Noska shoved him, then walked to his car and retrieved a BB gun. The man went on to say that Noska shot him several times and hit him with the gun before walking back into the restaurant.…

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Naked Man Accused Of Breaking Into Familys Home, Licking Young GirlSan Jose, CA – Victor Manzanares, 39, is facing multiple charges after allegedly entering a family’s home and inappropriately touching their two young daughters before attempting to burn their house down.

Officers responded to the home Monday, after receiving several reports of a naked man running rampant through the neighborhood.

While cops were combing the neighborhood, a butt nekkid Manzanares reportedly entered the home through an unlocked door. Once inside, police say, he walked into the bedroom of a 10-year-old girl and got all touchy-feely.

“He came into my room… he kissed my cheek, I thought it was my dad, and then he lied next to my bed and tried to touch my bum,” the girl said.

Not sure what caused Manzaneres to exit the room, but he soon wandered into the living room where a 12-year-old girl was napping.

“I was on the couch taking a nap,” the girl said. “I was in deep sleep when the man licked my face and I freaked out.”

The two girls rounded up their little brother and beat feet out of the house. …

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Douchebag Accused Of Punching Girlfriends Bunny After She Dumps HimBoynton Beach, FL – This pudgy bitch was arrested for allegedly throwing his girlfriend across a room and violently attacking her pet rabbit after the woman ended their relationship.

It all started with an argument about women’s rights….

Police say that mid-argument, the victim retreated to her bedroom in an attempt to end the fighting. The alleged douchebag, 28-year-old James Wertz, continued to scream and whine, so the woman told him it was over.

A short time later, police say, the woman heard a high pitched screaming coming from the living room. She told police she walked out to find Wertz squeezing and punching her rabbit. He was hitting it so hard, she said, blood was pouring from its face. And that’s about the time I would’ve rearranged his stupid fucking Mr. Potato Head face…

She intervened, pushing Wertz away. When he tried to apologize, she said, she kicked him and reached for the phone to call 911. Wertz responded by throwing her across the room and storming out of the apartment.…

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Wannabe Cougar Threatens Man With Knife And Cane After He Refuses Her AdvancesPort St Lucie, FL – A 56-year-old woman has been charged with assault after allegedly threatening a much younger man with a knife and a cane because he refused to give her the D.

Elizabeth Highley apparently lured the alleged victim, 25-year-old Crue Finleyinto her lair with the promise of an alcoholic beverage or three on the evening of June 16. (Something tells me the beverage in question was of the boxed variety because CLASS). Once she had him all comfy and cozy, she made her move.

Much to her chagrin, dude bolted. Quick like.

According to the police report, an officer parked nearby reported seeing Finley hauling ass down the street, yelling something about being chased by a woman with a knife. And right behind him, Highley — carrying a long silver knife and a broken wooden cane.

Finley reportedly made it clear to the officer that he and Highley were so not a couple. He claimed that once he denied Highley’s sexual advances, she got a little violent.…

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Man Accused Of Sexually Assaulting His Grandmother And His UnclePortland, OR – A registered sex offender was taken into police custody last week after allegedly sexually assaulting his grandmother and his uncle.

The investigation started Tuesday evening, after officers were called to a North Portland home on a report of a sexual assault.

Police learned that the alleged rapist, later identified as 34-year-old Willie Johnson, sexually assaulted his 82-year-old grandmother and his 49-year-old uncle, before fleeing the home.

Johnson managed to evade police and a K9 unit for a few hours, but was picked up at a McDonald’s Wednesday morning.

After an overnight stay at the hospital for some bullshit medical drama, Johnson was booked into the Multnomah County Jail. He is now facing charges of first-degree attempted rape, first-degree unlawful sexual penetration, two counts of first-degree sex abuse, first-degree kidnapping and fourth-degree assault. His sex offender status apparently stems from a first-degree rape conviction.

Grandma was treated at the hospital and released, and both she and the uncle are said to be doing fine. Physically, anyway.…

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Mom Arrested For Tossing Baby From Moving Car Just To Get A Reaction From Childs FatherWinnsboro, LA — A 20-month-old girl was seriously injured Sunday after being tossed from a moving vehicle because her malfunctioning incubator needed some attention from the child’s father.

The incubator in question, 23-year-old Lasasha Allen, sent a text to the child’s father Saturday, claiming that the child had fallen out of a car window and was injured. She did this, she told police, to get a reaction from the child’s father.

The baby’s father apparently neglected to respond to the text, and because Allen doesn’t want anyone thinking she’s a liar or anything, she had to rough up that baby a bit. She loaded up the baby and another child, aged 7, and went for a drive.

Police say Allen drove to some rural location with a lot of curves, and once she hit about 45 mph, opened the passenger door and pushed the baby out. Then, for whatever reason, she just kinda waited at the scene for a bit before finally taking the child to the hospital.

Allen later told police that her intent was to inflict minor damage so that she would not be caught in a lie.…

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American Student Rescued From Ginormous Vagina In GermanyTübingen, Germany — How many firefighters does it take to rescue a dumb American from a giant, 32-ton vagina? Go ahead, think on that for a minute…. we’ll wait. 

If you answered 22, you are correct. No, you don’t win shit.

The unidentified student apparently tried to scale the piece, called “Chacán-Pi,” because social media (Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, etc) makes people go to great lengths to get a love/tweet/like-worthy picture. Anyways, he slipped and fell. In. And got really stuck. Click right here for the full picture, pervs. I dunno… I think he looks kinda happy in there.

Enter the 22 firefighters. Giggity. One can only imagine the sheer number of YOUR MOM jokes that rippled through the firehouse after they received the call about a person trapped in a stone vulva.

Authorities say the unidentified idiot was soon safely “delivered by hand” and “without the application of tools,” and the vagina was left undamaged. No word on what they used for lube, but I’m just gonna go ahead and imagine it was the spit of 22 annoyed German firefighters.…

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Woman Arrested After Boyfriend Finds Her Naked With Three Very Young BoysSioux Falls, SD — A 30-year-old woman is facing numerous charges after her boyfriend reportedly caught her cavorting with three very young boys. Boys between the ages of 7 and 10. Um, ick…. they still have cooties at that age!

Police say Anne Doubler’s boyfriend returned home after picking up their 4-year-old son Wednesday evening, to find the woman butt naked while in the company of two 7-year-olds and one 10-year-old. All three boys beat feet out of the apartment shortly after the man of the house arrived.

The boyfriend told police Doubler admitted to having sexual contact with the young ‘ens, and the boys apparently told police the same.

“We don’t know if it necessarily started last night,” said Officer Sam Clemens of the Sioux Falls Police Dept. Thursday,  “Or if it’s been going on for some time.”

Police have reason to believe Doubler has had sexual contact with as many as six young boys at one time or another.

She is now behind bars on a $50,000 cash only bond, charged with five counts each of first-degree rape, sexual contact with a child under 16 and sexual exploitation of a minor.…

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Jarred Workman, 27, Found Living In 14 Year Old Girls ClosetIredell County, NC — Jarred Workman is facing all kinds of charges after being found living in the closet of a 14-year-old girl he met online.

According to police, Workman met the girl on some social media site and the two began chatting. After messaging back and forth for a few weeks, a meeting between the two was set up in a wooded area near the teen’s home.

Investigators have reason to believe the teen invited Workman inside her bedroom, and soon after apparently agreed to let him live in her closet.

“During the day he was either in her closet or in her bedroom, and when she would come home from school or on the weekend or whatever, he would come out on evenings,” said Det. Lt. Bill Hamby with the Iredell County Sheriff’s Office.

Fast forward five days from when he first moved in – mom was in the kid’s room, putting shit away, and found the strange man hanging out in the closet. Oh, and do keep in mind that during those five days, Workman is alleged to have had sex with the girl numerous times.…

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Man Accused Of Sexually Assaulting ATM, Picnic TableMurfreesboro, TN –A 49-year-old man was taken into custody late last week, charged with public intoxication, after he was seen bumping uglies with an ATM and a picnic table. Giggity.

Sex machine Lonnie Hutton reportedly walked into The Boro Bar & Grille Friday evening, and headed straight to the ATM. Then, according to witnesses, Hutton dropped his pants and undies, exposing his genitals, and attempted to make sweet, sweet love to the money machine.

No word on whether an actual deposit was made…..

When he was finished, Hutton then moseyed around the bar for a while, his junk just a bouncin’ and a swingin’, making thrusting motions with his hips, witnesses told police.

He was promptly escorted outside.

When police arrived on scene, Hutton was ordered to sit his drunk ass down at a picnic table while they collected information from the reporting party. It was then that Hutton allegedly disrobed and attempted to get his freak on with the table.

Hutton was arrested after being deemed a danger to himself and 90% of the inanimate objects within his field of vision.…

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Girl, 10, Allegedly Raped By Brother And Sister Duo In Elementary School RestroomOklahoma City, OK — A 10-year-old girl has claimed that she was sexually assaulted by an 8-year-old boy and his 10-year-old sister in an elementary school restroom.

According to the child’s mother, she was waiting in the pick-up line at Edgemere Elementary, when her child came out of the school, shaking and crying. When asked why she was so upset, the girl reportedly responded, “Mama, they touched me down there.”

The girl went on to tell her mother the two ganged up on her in the bathroom. The boy, she said, pulled his pants down, then hers. He then allegedly sexually assaulted her while his older sister held her down.

The girl said she began screaming, but was threatened with physical harm. She stopped resisting, the child’s mother said, because she was outnumbered.

The girl and her mother were escorted to a local hospital where a rape exam was conducted. That exam apparently confirmed her injuries were consistent with sexual assault.

“I’m not just blaming the kids, I blame the teachers that are supposed to protect our kids when they’re at school.” said the mother.…

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Tarence Wilson Arrested For Masturbating Outside School, Hanging Used Condoms On DoorColumbus, GA — A 29-year-old man was arrested earlier this week after video surveillance captured him pleasuring himself outside an elementary school, four nights in a row, leaving condoms filled with baby batter on the front door each time.

According to police, after scaling a fence surrounding Wesley Heights Elementary, Tarence Wilson would drop trou and commence to burpin’ his worm right there in the courtyard. When finished, he apparently draped his used condoms on the door.

The first condom was found sometime Saturday, leading grossed out school officials to view the surveillance tapes and initiate a stake-out. On Tuesday evening, they caught their man red-handed.

When officers arrived to back up school security that evening, Wilson was found hiding behind a bush, boxers around his ankles.

When questioned as to why the hell he was jerkin’ off on school grounds, Wilson reportedly responded that he felt “uncomfortable” masturbating at home, and dammit, he just wanted someplace he could be left alone. No word on why he feels the need to practice safe sex with himself, though.…

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Man Accused Of Starving Dog In Attempt To Reconcile With Ex GirlfriendPhoenix, AZ — The jackass pictured to the left is 38-year-old Luis Moreno. This fuck is accused of starving his dog to death in some retarded attempt to reconcile with his ex-girlfriend.

Police say Moreno and his girlfriend adopted the pit bull, Wiggles, back in ’08. When the two split in ’12, Moreno kept the dog.

Shortly after the breakup, Moreno attempted to get his woman back. When she failed to come running, police say he began using the dog as bait.

“Wiggles is dead. I hope you’re happy b—-.” Moreno is alleged to have texted to the woman.

When the woman called and asked after the pup’s health, Moreno admitted the dog was still alive and presumably fine.

On another occasion, Moreno reportedly informed the woman Wiggles was sick and he couldn’t afford to pay for whatever treatment the dog needed. When the woman responded and offered to pitch in, Moreno asked her to dinner — she declined. Denied, he reportedly refused to accept her help, telling her the dog was fine.…

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Shetland Pony Injured After Being Dragged Behind PickupLiberty County, TX — A 68-year-old douchebag was arrested Wednesday after he was seen dragging a Shetland pony behind his douchemobile, stopping only to beat the critter on the head when it stumbled.

Deputies said a witness called 911 that morning to report that he saw the horse’s owner, later identified as Francisco Cruz, dragging the small black-and-white Shetland pony behind a red pickup. The caller told dispatchers that each time the pony stumbled and fell, Cruz would exit the vehicle and beat the animal on the head with a belt and buckle. He would then return to the driver’s seat and drive on, still dragging the pony behind him. 

When police caught up with the douche, Cruz claimed he was mad because the pony had found a way out of the stall and off the property.

Cruz has been charged with cruelty to livestock. Dick.

A hearing has been set for May 13 to determine if the pony should be returned to Cruz or remain in the custody of the Houston Society for the Protection of Cruelty to Animals.

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Alleged Child Rapist Claims 11 Year Old Victim Seduced HimRepublic, MO — A 67-year-old man accused of repeatedly raping his 11-year-old neighbor reportedly told police the girl “seduced him.”

According to police, the alleged victim often spent the night at the home of Cleo Morgan and his wife, Donna Harper. The child told police she normally slept on the couch, but Morgan often lured her into the bedroom, where he fondled and molested her.

The girl went on to tell police that on one occasion, Harper knocked on the bedroom door and entered the room while Morgan had the child in bed. The girl said she hid under the covers, hoping Harper wouldn’t see her. The child told police she lied to Harper about having sex with Morgan because she liked him and didn’t want him to get in trouble.

Just a couple weeks ago, Harper apparently banned the child from the home. When Harper was questioned by the girl’s grandmother and great-grandmother as to why, she reportedly claimed the child was “ruining her marriage” by climbing on Morgan and sitting on his lap.…

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