Todd Napodano Blamed It On Explosive Diarrhea

Collier County, FL - I love my job here at the Dreamin’ Demon – if I weren’t actively searching for stories to post, I would totally miss out on some of the hilarity that occurs in the good ‘ole US of A on a daily basis. Here we have Wal-Mart, public nudity, and dirty underwear all in the same story – what more could you possibly ask for? Meet Todd Napodano – he was airing out his junk in a Wal-Mart parking lot Monday afternoon, when a mother and her daughter happened to pass by his Chevy box van while searching for their own vehicle. When he noticed he had an audience, Todd allegedly stood up in the van and started shaking his hips, and the family jewels, in their general direction. Instead of laughing hysterically and pointing, like I would have done, the women called authorities. When officers rolled onto the scene about an hour later, Todd was still there in the back of his van, all nekkid and stuff, and still in plain view of the public. Read more

Hee Orama Just Doesn’t Get It

Clarksville, TN – On October 24th, Hee Orama was arrested and charged with misusing 911 – she allegedly called 911, twice, to report that she couldn’t find her car. Hee was given a warning after the first two calls and was arrested after she failed to heed that warning and called twice more. She was booked into the Montgomery County Jail. Now, you think Hee would have learned her lesson from that little stint at the Gray Bar Motel, but nooooo – last Wednesday morning, Hee was pounding those digits again. Her emergency this time? She wanted to report that her boyfriend lied to her about marrying her. Oy vey. Wonder why? Officers responded to the first two calls and explained to the woman that if it wasn’t an emergency, she can’t be dialing 911. A few minutes after the officers left, Hee called 911 again. Officers returned to the home, again, and cited her before giving her yet another warning. And a few minutes after that, Hee called 911 again, but this time wouldn’t say why she called. Fourth time’s a charm I guess – Hee Orama was arrested and charged with misusing 911. Bond was set at $250. Now you know this isn’t the first tale of 911 fail told here at the Dreamin’ Demon, don’t ya? More fail here and here. Enjoy! Read more

Randal Schaal Doesn’t Like Myspace

Sheboygan, WI – Randal Schaal and Kelly Winter weren’t too pleased when they found out their 14-year-old daughter had surreptitiously opened up a MyspaceMySpace account. Not pleased at all. As a matter of fact, they were so pissed off, they spanked that little whippersnapper real good. According to the arrest report, Kelly found the child’s account and confronted her. The child denied the page was hers. No matter – when Randal got home, he checked out the web page and “freaked out.” The girl told officers that Randal held her down on the ground and spanked her real hard about 20 times. When she tried to get away, Randal allegedly kicked the child in the left hip, said something about “making it even” before kicking her in the right hip. The child said her mother then grabbed her by the hair, pushed her head into the wall, and asked, “What’s it feel like to have both your parents beat on you?” Damn. Overreact much? A spanking? At 14? I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that Randal may have some issues with anger. Read more

Shannon Dedrick Vanished From Parents’ Bedroom

Chipley, FL – There’s a baby girl missing – her name is Shannon Dedrick. She’sShe reviews 7 months old, has brown hair and blue eyes, is 2 feet tall, and weighs about 11 pounds. It has been reported that Shannon may have a growth development problem – a problem that would explain her larger than normal head. Shannon’s parents, whom police aren’t naming, reported her missing SaturdaySaturday reviews at 11:23 a.m. It is believed that Shannon disappeared from her parent’s bedroom, where they were sleeping, between the hours of 3:00 a.m. and 11:00 a.m. Mom and dad went to bed at 3 and woke up at 11 and baby girl was missing. From their bedroom. Where they were sleeping. Maybe I’ve been hanging out at the Dreamin’ Demon too long, cause that sure as shit sounds kinda hinky. Read more

Darrick Haaby Was Denied

Tigard, OR – It’s a damn good thing most kiddy diddlers are stupid – otherwise, parents and law enforcement would never catch on to their skeevy ways. Take Darrick Haaby, for instance. This shit-fer-brains is accused of e-mailing his friend’s 9-year-old daughter, since early September, asking her if she would have sex with him. One of his first e-mails allegedly read, “Do you promise to have sex with me? Please answer then erase this letter and don’t tell anyone.” The child refused his advances, but obviously didn’t inform her parents because the e-mails continued. At one point, authorities believe Haaby tried to get to the child by using her younger sister. “Your sister will also start going through the same thing you will … when she is ready, I may have her be with me,” he wrote. She kept refusing and he kept typing – digging himself a deeper hole. Read more

Alex Christopher Mercado, 4, Found Stuffed In Neighbor’s Dryer

Mendota, California - Very little information on this one, but here’s what I got. Alex Christopher Mercado, 4, was reported missing last FridayFriday reviews evening. Alex had been left in the care of an older sibling when he disappeared. About 24 hours after little Alex vanished, his body was found stuffed in the clothes dryer of a neighbor’s home. The body had been placed in the dryer after he was killed. Though police aren’t releasing the cause or manner of death, it is being reported that a 14-year-old boy has been taken into custody and charged with murder. We will update this story as more information is made available. Read more

Aaron Fisher Is A Monster

Miller County, MO – Meet Aaron Fisher, admitted baby raper. All hot and bothered after watching a porno last Wednesday, this monster decided to work out his sexual frustration on his 5-month-old baby girl. That baby girl is now listed in critical condition at the hospital, suffering from internal bleeding, a fractured skull, and several broken bones. According to court documents, the child showed signs of both physical and sexual abuse. He not only raped the child, he beat the shit out of her. In a statement given to the Miller County Sheriff’s Department on Oct. 29, Aaron described, in detail, exactly what he had done to the child. This guy needs to be lobotomized with a rusty spoon – asap. It is reported that Aaron, along with the mother of the infant and a 2-year-old child, were living in his mother’s home. His mother, however, recently fled the home and the state after Aaron allegedly assaulted her. OMFG. Why is this deranged pile of human excrement still breathing? Aaron Michael Fisher, 21, is being held without bond on two counts of sodomy. The infant and her 2-year-old sibling have been placed in protective custody while the investigation continues. Read more

Mitchel Stewart was Skeevy and Hungry

Fort Worth, TX – People will never cease to amaze me. I know I’ve said it before, and I’m gonna say it again – just when I think I’ve seen it all, heard it all, read it all – along comes another story that makes me say, “What. The. Hell.” Last Monday, a 77-year-old woman was roused from her slumber by the sound of her doorbell ringing at about 1:30 a.m. When she got to the door, the person on the other side forced his way in by kicking it in. Once inside, the man grabbed the woman by the arm, forced her into a chair, and proceeded to jack off in front of her. Then the fucker demanded that the woman get in the kitchen and make him a sammich. Oh no he didn’t! Read more

Random Ball Basher on the Loose in Langley

Langley, British Columbia – To the men in Langley – might I suggest adding a protective cup to your daily wardrobe? Seems there is a psycho bitch running loose up there who may find enjoyment in random peter punting. Anthony Clark, 22, was walking around Langley last month, just minding his own business, when a strange woman on the street approached him and kicked him in the nads. Just like that. Poor guy didn’t realize the severity of the blow to the acorns until later that night when he “noticed something was missing.” The demented stranger kicked him hard enough to send one of the crown jewels straight up into his abdomen. Clark visited a specialist in the hopes that the beloved bollock could be coaxed out of his gut to continue life in it’s rightful spot. No such luck. Read more

It’s All Fun and Games Until Someone Gets Their Brains Blown Out

Claremore, OK – With friends like Preston Dohrer, you might want to think about a life insurance policy. Or, hey, how about a whole new class of friends? As is evident in Preston’s Myspace pictures, he likes to party. And set shit on fire. And, as is evident with his dead friend, Michael Duke, Preston also likes to play with guns. Emergency personnel were called to Preston’s residence at about 1:45 SaturdaySaturday reviews morning. When they arrived, they found 20-year-old MichaelMichael reviews laying on the living room floor bleeding out of the gunshot wound to his forehead. Seems the boys had been drinking that night and horsin’ around a bit. WitnessesWitnesses reviews told police the two were involved in a bit of “horseplay” and were “playing around with each other and playing with knives.” Sounds like a rip-roaring good time to me! Let me grab my Ginsu! A witness to the horseplay told officers that Preston walked into his bedroom, returned to the living room, pointed a pistol at Michael’s head, and pulled the trigger. wOOt! What. Fucking. Fun. Now Michael Duke is dead and Preston Dohrer is charged with second-degree murder and feloniously pointing a weapon at another person. Bond has been set at $250,000. Great video of Preston “pissing fire” after the jump. I must warn you though, after viewing the video, I seem to have lost 3.5 IQ points. Read more

Brandon Trent Busted For Sodomizing Toddler

Morehead, KY – First we had the baby biter and now we have a baby raper. It’s shaping up to be a completely nauseating day here at the Dreamin’ Demon. Again, not a lot of information on this one, and in this case, I’m thankful. Meet Brandon Trent. The skeevy bastard is accused of sodomizing a 3-year-old child. According to police, Trent’s wife was babysitting for the child and left the kid alone with Trent in a car while she visited her mother at the hospital – a visit that took about 30 minutes. Trent took advantage of that time alone with the kiddo and sodomized her – right there in the parking lot. When the child’s mother picked her up later that day, the child “told her mother troubling statements that bothered her and led her to believe that her daughter had been sexually assaulted.” The child was immediately taken to the hospital for an examination. After detectives spoke with the doctors, the child, the child’s mother, and Trent, there was enough probable cause to make an arrest. Brandon Trent now sits in the Rowan County Detention Center charged with sodomy in the first-degree – a Class-A felony. Read more

Zachary Johnson Is A Dick

Chicago, IL – I don’t have a lot of information on this one, but what I do have is enough to make my stomach turn. Zachary Johnson, 20, was pissed off at his girlfriend, and after the two argued last FridayFriday reviews, Zachary showed that girl what a bad-ass motherfucker he really was. He allegedly grabbed the woman’s 3-month-old child out of her hands, locked himself in a room with the infant boy, and proceeded to knock the crap out of the kid. The mother, on the other side of the door, could hear Zachary slapping the child with an open hand. Luckily, she was able to get the door open and retrieve the baby boy before Zachary could beat him to death. Upon admission to the hospital, the child was suffering from five broken ribs, a punctured liver, bruising all over his tiny body, and bite marks. There is no word on the current condition of the child. Way to go tough guy! You can beat up a defenseless infant! You really showed her, didn’t ya? Fuckass. Zachary Johnson is now being held on $1 million bond and facing felony charges of aggravated battery to a child. Read more

Urine Trouble Julie Hubbard!

DeLand, Florida - When I was just a little Jaded, I wanted to grow up and become a cop. I dreamed of saving the world with my shiny gun and my big-ass flashlight. Now that I’m almost all grown up, I realize that I never would have made it past the first week – I would have had a run-in with the likes of the lovely Julie Hubbard and I would have totally lost my shit. The arrest report would have read, “The cracked bitch spit on my leg, and that’s when I pulled out my big-ass flashlight and lit up her insides. The end.” Julie turned what could have been a simple ticket and a fine into a sputum flinging, name calling, law enforcement officer threatening, clusterfuck. Read more

Omar Abdelaal Grabbed An Axe…

Hanover, Virginia – Omar Abdelaal just turned 16 – now, he’s looking at 20-to-life. Omar is accused of attacking another teen with an axe, sloughing off the left side of the kids face. The victim, just 15, had to have his face sewn back together with about 120 stitches. The entire attack was captured on video surveillance at a frequent teen hangout called Tractor Supply, Co. According to police, two groups of teens were arguing in the parking lot when Omar and his friends walked away and entered the supply store – the victim and his friends weren’t far behind. At some point, Omar broke away from the entire group, grabbed an axe from a display, removed the protective cover, and attacked the other teen. On the surveillance video, the victim could be seen facing Omar with his hands at his sides when he was hit. Read more

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