According to authorities, Linda Clarene Jackson bludgeoned her boyfriend, 59-year-old David Ruiz, in the head, while he was in her home earlier this week.
Jackson allegedly used a can of peas, a can of carrots and a can of chicken broth in the attack, claims Ricardo Santiago, a spokesman for the LA County DA. Ruiz died as a result.
Jackson’s motive, aside from being pissed the hell off, apparently, is unclear at this point.
Jackson’s scheduled arraignment on Thursday was postponed to Friday when she experienced a medical emergency, Santiago said. It is expected that her bond will be set at a hefty $1 million.
If convicted, she’s looking at life behind bars.…
Bradenton, FL — Ashley Miller, 18, is facing criminal charges after Bradenton investigators found numerous selfies of her and her pit bull, 2-face, participating in a little canine cunnilingus, stored on a cellphone.
The phone was apparently searched during a separate investigation into the transmission of harmful material to a minor earlier this month. No further details on that particular case, though.
According to the police report, investigators found 17 photos of a “canine performing oral sex on an unknown white female,” in a folder labeled “2-face fun.” Miller admitted to being that unknown white female.
She admitted to police that when she was in the mood for a little somethin’ somethin’, she would call 2-face into a bedroom in her grandmother’s house, remove her clothing, and it was on. That’s where the fun ended, though — she never touched the dog herself or allowed any sort of penetration. Standards… she’s got ’em.
Miller went on to tell police that this has been going on for about 5 years, and she has coaxed the dog to go down on her about 30-40 times.…
Henrico County, VA — This is Laquanda Newby. She is a slow learner. This woman showed up at the courthouse to answer to accusations of leaving her child in a hot car last month, and left her children sitting in the car in the parking lot.
Just last month, the 25-year-old mother was accused of leaving her children, ages six and one, in the car while she shopped at Sam’s Club. Because the responding officer did not actually witness the alleged crime, a warrant was sworn and Newby was informed that she must turn herself in at some point.
Newby turned herself in Monday. And left her kids sitting in the car. Again. At the courthouse.
It is unknown exactly how long the children were in the car, but surveillance video apparently shows it had been for more than an hour. The temperature hit 90 that day, and the windows were rolled up, but police say the kids seemed to be ok — just sweaty and hot. They were hydrated, fed, and released to their father.…
Investigators were called to St. Francis Hospital last Wednesday after receiving a report about an accidental shooting. Upon making contact with Adam Hirtle, however, they learned the horrible truth — it wasn’t an accident.*dundunduuuun*
Hirtle apparently informed the responding officers that he had intentionally shot himself in the foot. He told police he walked into his garage that evening and, for whatever reason, removed his boot and shot it with a .22. He then returned the boot to his foot and pulled the trigger again, injuring himself. Kinda. I mean, it was a .22.
He’s been arrested on suspicion of a prohibited use of a weapon, reckless endangerment and child abuse. The last charge had me scratching my head for a minute — I’m assuming there were young ‘ens somewhere in the vicinity.
Stupid may not hurt a lot, but I’m guessing it stings a little….…
The stray pup was found with electrical tape wrapped tightly around her muzzle, her tongue trapped between her teeth. It is believed she had wandered around like that for at least two days before appearing on the doorstep of a good Samaritan.
Her story quickly went viral, and the picture that accompanied the article was enough to make a heartless wench like myself tear up a bit. The public was asked to help identify the idiot responsible, and an arrest was made earlier this week.
William Dodson, 41, was charged Monday with ill treatment of animals and torture. Dodson is being held pending a bond hearing, and police have yet to release a motive.
“Caitlyn is in a lot of pain, her condition is critical, and her prognosis is guarded,” said Dr. Lucy Fuller, Charleston Animal Society’s senior director of veterinary care. “A large part of her tongue may need to be removed surgically if the tissue dies from the lack of blood flow.…
Turner, OR — A 24-year-old woman has been arrested after police say she struck her boyfriend of two years in the head with a baseball bat, fracturing his skull, because she just didn’t want to be his girlfriend anymore.
Haley Fox and the alleged victim reportedly “met” on the internet a couple years ago. Just recently, the 26-year-old man decided to move from Alabama to Oregon to set up house with Fox.
When he arrived at Fox’s home Wednesday, she invited him to have a seat at a patio table decked out with candles, where she poured him a glass of wine. D’awwww!
Then, according to the victim, Fox requested that he close his eyes. When he did so, he said, she knocked him upside the back of the head with a baseball bat three times.
The man later told police that shortly after the presumably unprovoked attack, another woman appeared at the home. He could hear the two women talking, he said, saying words like “binding,” “him,” and “duct tape.” He told police he truly believed he was going to die.…
Philadelphia, PA — This bitch. This cheery, smiling, happy-looking bitch right here has been accused of ditching her disabled 21-year-old son in the forest, with nothing but a blanket and a bible, so she could toddle off and hang with her boyfriend in Maryland for a minute.
According to police, 41-year-old Nyia Parler wheeled her non-verbal, quadriplegic son, who also suffers from cerebral palsy, into a wooded area sometime last Monday. She took the man from his chair and laid him on the ground nearby. She then covered him with a blanket, placed a bible on his chest, and walked away. And there he remained, in the cold and rain, for five fucking days.
When the man failed to show up for his scheduled classes at the School of the Future, school officials attempted to reach Parler. When she didn’t answer, they contacted the man’s aunt. She, in turn, contacted Parler.
Parler, the bitch, lied to the woman, claiming her son was there in Maryland, safe and sound, with her.…
Police responded to a Tulsa hospital early Thursday morning, where they spoke to a man who claimed his girlfriend, Amber Ellis, attacked him while he slept.
After an evening of imbibing, the two began arguing about how “needy” she had become in recent weeks. (PSA, fellas — the word “needy” is a trigger in the craziest of psycho bitches. So is “suffocating” and “smothering.” And may your lord help you if you start in on the whole “I need a little breather” spiel).
The verbal argument continued when the couple reached their apartment, and seemingly ended when Ellis stormed into the bedroom and slammed the door. The victim, believing he was safe, fell asleep on the couch. With both eyes closed. Silly man.
He told police he woke to find Ellis chewing on his dick. When he tried to fight her off, he said, she hit him in the head with a laptop.…
Damian Fletcher, 32, was charged Monday after allegedly trying to lure a couple of little girls onto the city bus with offers of free candy.
Police claim Fletcher approached the girls, ages 9 and 11, Saturday afternoon and said, “Come with me on the bus and we’ll go get some candy together and then I can take you places, come on.”
Thankfully, the girls were too smart to fall for it — all kids know that the best free candy only comes from white, windowless vans. They told police they didn’t know Fletcher, and got a little scared when he asked them for a hug.
During the booking process, deputies overheard Fletcher say he just wanted to have sexual contact with the girls. I, for one, am shocked.
Fletcher was charged with trying to lure or entice a child under 12, a misdemeanor, but bond was increased to $150,000.…
According to police, 38-year-old Russell Mitchell was cashing in some lottery tickets at a Murphy USA gas station Friday afternoon, when 62-year-old Richard Nielson approached him. Nielson apparently called out Mitchell’s name just moments before shooting him in the head at point-blank range.
Nielson then approached Mitchell’s wife(?), 29-year-old Jessica Modolo, as she sat waiting for Mitchell to return to the car. Police say Nielson shot her once in the stomach, killing her unborn child, and once in the head. It is believed Modolo, who remains in critical condition, was about four months along in her pregnancy. Inside the car with Modolo, her 6-year-old son, and Mitchell’s daughters, ages 9 and 7.
Nielson then walked behind the vehicle and put a bullet in his own head.
This whole bunch of bullshit apparently stems from a dispute over some lawn equipment that Nielson had somehow procured from Mitchell.…
Ronald Kopf Jr. was indicted Wednesday, after admitting to police he had been raping the girl for more than a year. And as mentioned previously, this was the same girl his son, 29-year-old Christopher Kopf, was convicted for sexually assaulting when she was 13.
In Christopher’s case, both the victim and the suspect initially denied any sort of sexual contact — though the girl later admitted that the two had kissed. Christopher confessed after police presented him with DNA evidence. He pleaded guilty to first degree sex abuse in August of 2013, and was sentenced to six years in prison.
Ronald was busted after the victim told her mother she had been in a year-long sexual relationship with Ronald. Um, eww. Between the two of them, I just don’t think there’s enough alcohol, anywhere. Ever.
Anyway, Ronald admitted to providing the girl with cigarettes, money and marijuana.…
According to authorities, 32-year-old Fan Lung sent his mistress, Zhang Hung, a couple of “saucy” messages on his wife’s cell phone and forgot to log out of his account after hitting send. The wife, Feng, read the message — along with several others — and completely lost her friggin’ mind.
Armed with a pair of scissors, Feng approached her husband as he lay sleeping in bed. Then…. snip, snip.
Doctors were able to reattach Fan’s member, but the celebration didn’t last long. Feng reportedly snuck into his hospital room and cut that pesky little thing off. Again. This time, though, she tossed it out the window.
Somehow, the couple ended up outside of the hospital and on the street, where Fan was seen, bloodied, butt nekkid, and in a rage, beating Feng. After hospital personnel separated the two, they learned Fan was, once again, dickless.…
The aforementioned juvenile apparently contacted police on Saturday to report that a white woman tried to “forcefully” remove his shoes and take them from him. She failed.
Based on the child’s description of the woman, police made contact with Chessly Brimberry. The arresting officer mentioned in his police report that Brimberry blew a .255 on a portable breathalyzer, and that she seemed kinda surprised, a little insulted, even, that she was being arrested for trying to take shoes from a kid. I mean, c’mon… it’s not like she was trying to steal his fucking candy.
While being booked, Brimberry reportedly told the arresting officer, “When I see you I will kill you.” This little spitfire also attempted to flee the premises, twice, but was stopped at the gate both times.
She was charged with public intimidation and attempted robbery, and ordered held on a $7,500 bond.…
Framingham, MA — I’ve been here at the Demon for a long, long time. So long, in fact, that it is difficult to find a story that actually makes me feel. But this one, well, this one made me tear up a bit.
According to police, Lindsay McNamara, 24, sauntered into the Framingham Police Department Friday, with a Dunkin’ Donuts box in her hands. She approached the lobby window, police say, and when the officer behind the glass asked how he could help her, McNamara reportedly declared it was “time to feed the pigs.”
She reached into the box, which apparently didn’t contain donuts, and grabbed a handful of raw bacon and sausage links. (Please, friends, pardon my hysterical sobbing). She then proceeded to throw the products at the window, while simultaneously smearing them on and around the glass.
McNamara was arrested on charges of disorderly conduct and malicious destruction of property. Later that day, McNamara, who represented herself before the judge, reportedly said God told her to “go feed the pigs,” before claiming that the courts were allowing people to sell her.…
Saskatoon, Canada — A couple of 20-year-old men are facing charges after an argument over diced onions led to the tossing of a snake at a Saskatoon Tim Hortons. Seriously, have you ever been sooooo mad…. ?
The unidentified men were apparently displeased about the shape of the onions on their breakfast order and an argument ensued. It quickly escalated, as arguments over food often do, and at that point, police say, one of the men did a reach around, stuck his hand into his partner’s pocket and removed a snake. No, not a trouser snake — a garter snake. Because who doesn’t have one of those just hanging around in their pocket? Trouser snake would have made for an interesting story, though….
Anyway, the man threw the snake over the counter and in the general direction of the employees.
There were no reported injuries, and it is unclear as to how many people in the restaurant shit their pants in fear, but it did create a bit of chaos as employees ran screaming from the establishment.…
Easton, PA — Authorities have reason to believe this freak, 53-year-old Gregory Graf, shot and killed his stepdaughter just so he could have sex with her corpse. What? Like you’ve never wanted anyone that bad….
Jessica Padgett, 33, was last seen alive on November 21, leaving her job as a child care provider at a Northampton day care center. Five days and several inconsistent stories later, Graf was charged with her murder.
Graf was taken into custody on November 26, after Padgett’s body was found buried behind a shed on his property. Authorities have stated she was shot in the back of the head.
Police found video footage of Graf violating the woman’s corpse on two separate cameras that had been seized. An additional recording was found on Graf’s computer.
Graf reportedly confessed to killing Padgett, a recently married mother of three, and police have no reason to believe the two were involved in any sort of sexual relationship before her death. Police believe Padgett was dead less than an hour after she disappeared.…
According to police, the Mrs. woke Hill at about 1:00 that afternoon, McChicken in hand. When Hill opened his eyes and gazed upon her offering, he apparently flipped his shit. Why? Because he doesn’t like McChicken sandwiches. *insert hysterical sobbing noises here*
Police say Hill tossed the sammich at the woman, then picked up the bun from the floor and smashed it into her face.
When the woman retreated to the restroom to clean up, Hill followed and began recording her every move with his cellphone, apparently hoping the woman would lose her shit and appear as the aggressor in the fight.
When police arrived on scene, Hill’s whole “she started it” bullshit fell flat. The cellphone video showed very little — just an injured woman knocking the cellphone out of her douchebag husband’s hand. The woman was sporting a red and swollen nose, and was found with mayo on her face and clothing.…
Jacklyn Blake was apparently sleeping off a few drinks when the boyfriend took it upon himself to dish up. When Blake came to, police say, she went all kinds of batshit crazy — because that’s what holidays and cooking and breathing does to women.
Blake apparently chased the man around the living room with a knife, then stabbed him once in the chest. She then threw the knife at the guy, hitting him just below the eye.
The boyfriend was hospitalized with non-life threatening injuries. We can only hope he learned a lesson from all this… just sit in your chair, watch your game, shut the fuck up, and don’t. touch. anything.
Blake was carted off to the pokey, and has been charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, simple assault, reckless endangerment and making terroristic threats.
Some people live for Black Friday sales the day after Thanksgiving, I live for the stabs.…