U.S. District Judge Marco A. Hernandez, who sent Barnett back to the Oregon State Penitentiary with the extra time, feels Barnett ”…has significant personality issues that remain unresolved.” Assistant U.S. Attorney John N. Parmley, a prosecutor called in from San Diego after the previous prosecutor fell victim to Barnett’s mischief, said of Barnett “The longer he stays in a controlled environment, the safer society will be.”
So what kind of douche-devilry draws such dire damnation? What manner of malevolence manifests such maligning? Threatening letters, anthrax hoaxes and poop… not necessarily in that order. Oh, and there’s even a torrid love affair with a not-really-hot-white-supremacist-spree-killer in there for you women folk.
Barnett’s streak starts back in 2008. Barnett, already in jail, mailed threatening letters to Washington County Sheriff Rob Gordon and three of his deputies. In August 2011, Barnett was moved to Portland’s Justice Center Jail, where he allegedly hurled a mixture of urine and feces at the face of Multnomah County Sheriff’s Deputy Brett S.…Continue Reading
The incident happened in an off-campus house rented by Andrea Rebello, her twin sister and two other students. Sometime around 2am, Rebello’s boyfriend went outside to move a car, reportedly to avoid a parking ticket. It was during this time that 30-year-old Dalton Smith, dressed in black and wearing a ski mask, entered the house. Smith, a parolee with an extensive rap sheet that includes attempted robbery, weapons possession, assault and being an all-around charming fella, was armed.
He ordered Rebello, her twin sister Jessica and a third woman onto a couch. He did the same to Rebello’s boyfriend when he returned and demanded valuables from the four. I’m going to go out on a limb at this point and say Dalton likely never went to college: he was unsatisfied with what the four produced. I don’t know how much you could expect to fleece a few college students for, but I wouldn’t have expected more than a few beers and some dental dams.…Continue Reading
West Haven, CT – Gary Gray, whose eyes are currently raping your soul, is being charged with the double-whammy of first degree sexual assault and risk of injury to a child.
The 42-year-old has been under investigation since September of 2012, after the alleged victim, a 10-year-old girl, confided in her mother that she ‘thought’ she had sex with Gray, who was living with the family. I thought I was having sex with a fat chick once, turned out I was penetrating a Reuben sandwich that got lost in a fold on its way from the table to her maw.
Forensic examinations and medical evaluations revealed the girl had injuries consistent with sexual assault, police said. When interviewed by police, Gray reportedly told them, “Last time I admitted it, this time I’m not admitting it.”
The “last time” to which Gray was referring was a previous arrest for sexual assault and risk of injury to a child. He’s nothing if not consistent. Gray is also and currently the subject of a New Haven investigation involving another possible sexual assault.…Continue Reading
Ellicott City, MD – A 14-year-old girl and her 19-year-old boyfriend are facing charges of conspiracy and murder after the boyfriend allegedly stabbed the girl’s father to death, planning to run away together afterward.
Police arrested the couple after a 911 call from an occupant in the home where 58-year-old Dennis Lane was found stabbed to death. Police would find the man’s daughter, Morgan Arnold, and her boyfriend, Jason Bulmer, sitting in an upstairs bedroom. Bulmer reportedly had blood on his hands and clothes.
Police believe the murder was discussed for almost two months prior to its execution. At 4am on Friday, Arnold allegedly opened a back door for Bulmer and urged him to stab Lane before running away together. Police have not commented on a possible motive for the killing.
Lane, a well-known member of the community, was a real estate blogger and businessman. A friend of Lane’s, Baltimore City Councilman James Kraft, stated, “He loved that girl. He just loved that girl. … Everything I know about Morgan and Dennis is that they had a great relationship.…Continue Reading
Seattle, WA – A possible dispute over property lines between neighbors turned dangerous and somewhat hysterical when a 51 year-old Barry Alan Swegle hopped in a bulldozer and started smashing into houses.
Swegle is reported to have a lengthy criminal history which includes public indecency, stalking and burglary. He is also known by his neighbors as the guy who digs random holes with his bulldozer late at night. It would seem it was simply a matter of time before Barry was featured here at the Dreamin’ Demon for something.
One of his neighbors, Barbara Porter, claims she knew this was coming. She states ”We all said one of these days Barry is going to take that dang cat and he’s going to start tearing up people’s property and that’s what he did.” Well then. The rampage started sometime around noon on Friday, when Barry decided to play Blastcorps in real life. I hope Joe Lieberman doesn’t hear about this one.
Barry fired up an International Harvester TD-25 and took out his grumpies on his neighbors’ property.…Continue Reading
INDIANAPOLIS, IN - A 31 year-old Indianapolis man is facing a mandatory minimum sentence of 10 years after freely admitting to police during a polygraph test that he was scopin’ some illegal porn.
The polygraph test, part of Eugene Marshall’s probation from previous perpetrations involving pedo-porn, took place on April 21. Marshall had spent a woefully inadequate 128 days in the can for his first convictions in 2011, and was subsequently place on probation for 915 days. If I ever decide to become a criminal, I’ll be moving to Indiana.
Marshall got an A+ on the test, passing without telling a single lie. Unfortunately for him, most of his answers were admissions of probation violations, including accessing the internet, viewing child pornography and being alone with children at a recent birthday party for a relative, though it was noted that no physical contact is believed to have occurred. Marshall also admitted to owning three small (or ‘fun size’) love dolls, which makes me just a little Knauseous.
Instead of a gold star, Marshall got a visit from police at his home, where he surrendered a Playstation console, a laptop and several storage devices.…Continue Reading
King County, WA — 43 year-old Sabelita L. Hawkins has been charged with first-degree assault after a History Channel special about the Mayan prophecy, heralding the end of days, sent her careening away from sanity.
Hawkins, upon learning of the bad news, allegedly made statements about killing herself. “Get me a gun… I’m ready to die…” No one did, and Hawkins continued acting with the mental stability of a bowl of Cookie Crisp. When she began squeezing a 2 year-old child, people intervened. Her mother was awoken during the commotion and she attempted to restrain her.
It was during this physical struggle that Hawkins reportedly grabbed an 8-inch bread knife and stuck it in mommy a few times. The woman suffered multiple stab wounds during the incident. She sustained a punctured lung and was also stabbed through the cheek once. Someone finally tackled Hawkins and keep her from perforating anyone else until the police arrived, at which point things got even funnier.
Hawkins was babbling nonsense about “people wearing black and purple” and someone named ‘Darell’.…Continue Reading
Oshkosh, OK -- 35 year-old Tessa Gray is facing up to 80 years in prison for bumping uglies with several of her daughter’s underage school chums.
When she was arrested, Gray apparently stated she ‘got caught up in everything’, whatever that means. Personally, I think she should have gone with the old ‘he tripped and fell inside me’ line, but hey… I’m a poor excuse for a middle-aged woman. She also stated she knew it was wrong to have sex with high school boys. So wrong, in fact, that she did it approximately 20 times with a 15 year-old friend of her daughter. On top of that, Gray also had a string of encounters over two months earlier this year with a 16 year-old.
The best part, though, is the sexually charged game of ping-pong she played with a 14 year-old. Yes, folks… you read ‘sexually charged’ and ‘ping-pong’ in the same sentence for the first, and very likely the last, time ever. I’ll be daring Satan to lick the flag pole if anyone needs me.…Continue Reading
Corydon, IN - An Indiana photographer, well known for snapping pics at school sporting events and selling prints to parents, has been arrested on child pornography charges.
Stephen J. Brockman, (a rough) 48-years-old and pictured here with a second mouth where his chin should be, was possibly so wiped from inhaling fat and cheese that he decided to take a snooze at McDonald’s on November 14th. Imagine for a second being overweight and out of shape enough that eating gets you winded. It’s harder than this guy’s arteries. I managed to imagine it and I got diabetes.
Before going night-night sitting upright, Brockman should have closed his laptop computer, but he didn’t. Instead, he left it open for a passing pedestrian policeman to peep. As he walked behind Brockman, the officer noticed the images displayed on the computer looked an awful lot like naked children. A subsequent investigation of the seized computer revealed this to be true. Investigators do not believe Brockman took any of the illegal photos himself.
Another point of interest is that
Brockman was a substitute teacher for a short period of time and that he was let go after some bad evaluations.…
Montgomery County, TX – Amanda Billiris, 23, was arrested after relatives caught her getting her turkey stuffed by a 15 year-old relative on Thanksgiving. Nice.
If you’re not slinging hot yogurt all over your monitor yet, you’ll be happy-in-the-pants to know that Billiris was a big fan of riding motorcycles. In fact, she apparently suffered a head injury in a 2009 crash that left her in critical condition.
Whether or not her incestuous and sexy adventure has anything to do with her injuries is unknown. What is known, however, is that the thought of her having the mental capacity of a snow cone and a sex drive that couldn’t wait is making me harder than level 6-2 of Ninja Gaiden.
For this little incident, Billiris is facing a sexual assault of a child charge, which is second-degree felony. For this she looking at 2-20 years in girl-jail and possibly a fine of $10,000.
These stories always open up the double-standard debate: some people would pat this kid on the back while others would cry for him.…Continue Reading
A toxicology report found the drugs inside the 235 pound, 6 foot tall body of 32 year-old Chad Brothers. The drugs are blamed for the state of ‘excited delirium‘ that led to his death. Based on my medical expertise, I’d say that it looks something like this.
Early on October 31st, Brothers was at the gym ‘lifting zing ups and putting zem down’ when he lost his goddamn mind. During the super-sized temper tantrum, Brothers apparently toppled weights, started winging dumbbells and punched another patron.
Police, attempting to subdue the man-beast, employed tasers several times with little effect. It even appears that Brothers may have tased himself during the confrontation. Whether or not that was intentional is unknown, but let’s all give him a big ‘Like a Boss!‘ and a round of applause anyway and pretend it was.…Continue Reading
The body of 2 year-old Tierra Morgan-Glover, who prosecutors say was “awake, alert, and helpless” when her dad put her in the creek, was found partially submerged the next day by children playing nearby.
Morgan had picked up the girl from her mother to take her to a movie. When he did not return for a few hours, Imani Benton called police. By that time, Morgan had already left the park where the creek was. According to the prosecutor, Morgan went from the park to a friend’s house. There, he had a few drinks, gave away his car and some other belongings, and headed for a nearby train station.
He was arrested a week later, mere miles from the Mexican border in California. On Monday he stood in court, stone-faced and calm, answering to the charge of murder.…Continue Reading
Bayou La Batre, AL - What should have been a routine residency check on a registered sex offender turned into six arrests after police discovered a methamphetamine lab.
Anthony Higgins Jr., whose chin is doing a poor impersonation of my head for who-the-hell-knows-why, was arrested and convicted in 1998 on sexual abuse charges. Ever since, he’s been a registered sex offender, which means that law enforcement have to keep tabs on him and The Crimson Tickler.
In order to verify information that Higgins was staying at the residence, police knocked on a door on County Road in Coden. When the door was opened, they noticed materials used in the manufacture of meth sitting in plain sight. They cuffed the 44 year-old Higgins, his 27 year-old girlfriend Amy Nelson, 23 year-old Thricia Gollott (who was arrested last year in a meth bust) and 51 year-old Luther Stewart on charges of possession of drug paraphernalia and second-degree manufacturing a controlled substance.
Police also arrested two men who happened to pull up to the residence.…Continue Reading
Jackson, MI– Since the decapitated body of 59 year-old Shirley Meeks was found in her Reed Manor apartment on Saturday, police have arrested her neighbor and information has come to light concerning a man that may be as deeply troubled as he is intelligent… and who is certainly as fascinating as anything on television.
Meeks was found in her apartment by her neighbors. There were signs of forced entry and blood all over the walls. Reports now indicate that her head had been removed.
Pictured for your enjoyment is 46 year-old Leo Joseph Kwaske. If he looks a tad effeminate in his mugshot, it may have something to do with the fact that when police arrested him, Kwaske was dressed as a woman. I mention this not because we here at the DD are hate-mongers or homophobes (as members of another website may or may not have suggested- thanks for the hits, at least) but because it took me a good 20 minutes to realize this was not a picture of the victim.…Continue Reading
Both women maintain that the baby was born dead, but a report from the medical examiner suggests otherwise. Though no specific cause of death could be ascertained, the report states that the baby was born fully developed and alive.
According to the testimony given by the mulleted Meadows, she covered up the birth and death of the baby because her daughter was unwed. So, instead of facing the scrutiny from the community that your daughter may or may not be a whore-bag, you makes moves that shoot you into the national spotlight as a ghoulish criminal. If I had your logic, lady, I’d probably look like Billy Ray Gollum, too.
Acting on a tip from social services, police eventually found the body stashed in a cave. In a nearby wooded area Twila claimed to have also hidden bloodied clothes, a washcloth and the afterbirth, the visual of which is giving me the heaves.…Continue Reading
Around 9am on Monday, 37-year-old Alexander Robles was outside the Jewish Community Center in Hartford with silver paint on his face. Allegedly, he was knocking on car windows, pulling door handles and yelling at people. Other witnesses say he was standing with his pants pulled down. Police found him with two cans of spray paint in a plastic bag.
“He was not in a good frame of mind,” said Lt Jeremy Clark, which is funny to me since, when I get high on paint, I generally carry on an aggressive yet civil debate on the intricacies of global politics while baking scones as part of my volunteer work with the elderly.
A nearby daycare was put on lock-down since they hadn’t booked ‘Skippy the Pickle-Swinging Clown’ that day. Robles told arresting officers he didn’t know how he ended up in the parking lot and was simply trying to ask for a ride.…Continue Reading
Louisville, KY - Micheatria Donelson has been awarded over one million dollars, still a fraction of what she was asking for, after enduring a truly horrific ordeal of witnessing her premature baby decapitated during birth.
A jury decided yesterday to award Donelson the money, finding that doctors were at least somewhat at fault for what happened to her in the hospital back in 2006.
Donelson wasn’t near pregnant enough to be having a baby. According to the defense, she was only 21 weeks, although her side argued it was 24. Regardless of the time period, she found herself bleeding and in the hospital. Doctors were far from optimistic about the chances of the baby surviving.
Dr. Joseph Bilotta utilized a ‘cerclage’: a string used to keep the cervix closed and my word of the day. The defense claims it would be physically impossible to deliver a baby with the instrument in place, although Donelson’s side claimed that’s exactly why things went the way they did. Whether the cerclage was in place or not, no one argued about what happened.…Continue Reading
Lawrence, NY - A man has been charged with attempted murder after he and his 2 year-old daughter were found in his car, sick from being poisoned by chemicals.
Ammonium chloride, as it turns out, isn’t actually all that poisonous. Despite this, police believe 45-year-old Khemchan Sulaiman mixed the chemical with baby formula and gave his daughter the concoction in a bottle. The chemical was also found on the girl, along with a powder believed to be a household pesticide. Allegedly both Sulaiman and his daughter ingested the chemical.
The pair were found semi-conscious in Sulaiman’s car Monday morning, parked behind a block of stores, after someone heard the man honking the car’s horn and yelling for help. Police believe this to be an attempted murder-suicide and that it may have stemmed from some bad blood between Sulaiman and his ex-wife, who is also the girl’s mother. Both were taken to the hospital in critical condition, but as of Tuesday the girl is listed as stable and Sulaiman is expected to make it to court, where he could get up to 25 years.…Continue Reading
Wauconda, IL – The minister of a fringe religious sect is being investigated after a claim by one of his flock that his unorthodox personal prayer sessions may have involved minors.
The sessions, which minister Phillip Livingston calls ‘light therapy’, involve him and one of his
sheep followers alone in a room together. Naked. Touching each other. On their hoo-hoos. I am so starting my own church.
The therapy sessions occurred in his home, and started off somewhat less creepy. A patient would lay on a couch, fully clothed and Livingston would touch them as they prayed. His wife would be present and no one was touched inappropriately. It wasn’t long, though, before Livingston subtracted his wife and clothes from the equation while adding a private room and some good old fashioned junk-touching. He would touch them, even penetrate them with his digits, while they touched him and both prayed.
He claims that the therapy produced miraculous results, curing drug addiction and turning homosexuals and sex addicts into ‘virtuous people’.…Continue Reading
Ferndale, MI - 43 year-old Steven Fitch died from a meth overdose at the home of a reverend he met on a gay dating website that day.
Reverend Mark Bidwell,52, is known to be gay, so that part isn’t a shock. What is shocking, though, is that Bidwell was the town’s police chaplain before this happened, having since been let go.
Bidwell invited Fitch over to his house for a little game of ‘hide the pickle.’ When they were done, though, Fitch allegedly produced a syringe containing meth, and injected both himself and the reverend with it.
While all the other homosexual, anonymous-internet-sex-having reverends where tucked safe and sound in their beds, Bidwell went back online and found a third person to join them around 3:30am. 28 year-old Bret Colpaert now has a story to tell when the topic of internet sex horror stories comes up.
Shortly after he arrived, Fitch began having breathing troubles and turned blue. At 5:30am Bidwell called 911.When asked the age of the victim, Bidwell responded by saying he didn’t know.…Continue Reading