Family’s Christmas Eve Argument Over Beer Turns Violent

December 29, 2011 at 8:44 am by kniption  

Citra, FL — Bryant Odell Dozier, 31, was arrested after a stabbing his stepfather in the neck with a steak knife. Justified? You decide…

The incident reportedly began when Dozier observed his stepfather, Christopher A. Kirnes, 54, ‘cursing out’ Kirnes’ mother for not buying beer. Kirnes’ mother told deputies that – after Dozier attempted to ‘intervene’ – Kirnes went to the bedroom to got a crowbar.

Coincidentally, this is where I keep my crowbar.

Court documents say that, when Kirnes returned, he threatened Dozier – prompting Grandma to ask Dozier to leave. Dozier left the residence, but returned aproximately 15 minutes later wielding a steak knife. A scuffle ensued which left Christopher Kirnes with a substantial knife wound to the neck. A deputy on the scene claimed the wound was so severe “you could see the jugular vein.”

When question by deputies, Dozier reportedly told them Kirnes hit him in the head with the crowbar and said he “fell down the stairs and cut [Kirnes] unintentionally.” When asked about his lack of visible injuries, Dozier said the injuries were “already magically healed by God,” the arrest report stated.…

Clerk Knocks Out Would-Be Robber, Makes Him Clean Up His Own Blood

December 28, 2011 at 2:07 am by kniption  

Hendersonville, SC – Surveillance video released by police shows Mostafa Hendi, 25, as he walks into a We Buy Gold store and attempts to rob the place. It is a good thing that it was captured on video… because that would be the last thing that Hendi would remember. The super-slow-motion replay should prove to be a nice touch for his later viewing, though.

“When he came through the door he told me had a gun and he even flashed it,” store employee Derek Mothershead recounted. “He came through the door, said ‘Gimme the money. Gimme the money.’ I threw my hands up, said ‘take the money if you want it.’”

Mothershead said Hendi walked behind the counter and attempted to do just that.

“I got the money and he had the bag out and instead of putting it in the bag I stuck it out and said, ‘Just take it.’ So, when he reached out, I took a step in, I cocked back and preloaded and I hit him hard.”

With Hendi out cold on the floor, Mothershead was able to grab his weapon – a pellet gun.…

Husband Pimping Wife On Craigslist Gets Shot By ‘Client’

December 27, 2011 at 8:13 am by kniption  

Joliet, IL — Michael Noll, 31, reportedly pimps his wife, Koren F. Noll, 23, to support their heroin addiction. Police allege that he recently decided increase his return-on-investment by robbing one of her prospective clients after she arranged a liaison with him through Craigslist. As clever as all of this sounds, what could possibly go wrong? Let’s see…

According to police, last Thursday night, James E. Wenberg, 35, contacted Korin Noll through the “back room” area of Craigslist and exchanged text messages to have her come to his house. Koren Noll arrived and “began negotiating a price for a sexual favor,” police said.

After Wenberg paid her the agreed amount, Noll reportedly used Wenberg’s cell phone to contact “a girlfriend” waiting in her car, but the “girlfriend” did not answer. Noll then allegedly told Wenberg that she was going to go outside to “speak with her ‘girlfriend’ and retrieve an outfit.”

Wenberg reportedly became suspicious and demanded she return his money before leaving. Police said that Wenberg first kept her from leaving but, after Korin Noll tried to give him a shot of pepper spray, Wenberg let her keep the money and told her to leave.…

UK Man Jailed For Swinging Machete At Fiancée, ‘Frightening’ Police

December 23, 2011 at 11:23 am by kniption  

Peterborough, UK – Kevin Breedon, 34, had a bad night. Just after 2AM on October 30, UK police reportedly found the drunken Breedon waving an 18-inch machete at his fiancée and her 17-year-old son outside his home. It was not reported why.

For their safety, one of the responding officers immediately got the woman and her son into the back of his patrol car. According to court documents, Breedon responded by striking the vehicle repeatedly with the machete in a ‘frenzy of blows’ as the officer tried to drive away. The officer was able to drive away in an effort to get the subjects of Breedon’s ire to a local police station.

Court documents described that, after the patrol car had left, Breedon got into the woman’s Ford Focus to pursue them. In the chaos, though, Breedon had lost track of which patrol car his fiancée and her son were in and began pursuing the wrong police car.

Pursuing a police car…  Hmmm…

In court, prosecutors described Breedon chasing the police car driven by Pc Barry Gray through the streets of the town of St.…

Lawyer Blames Leiby Kletzky’s Murder On ‘Jewish Inbreeding’

December 22, 2011 at 8:24 am by kniption  

Brooklyn, NY - Back in July, Morbid reported on the case of the killing of 8-year-old Leiby Kletzky whose dismembered body were found, among other places, in 35-year-old Levi Aron’s freezer. The case has recently made news based on Aron’s lawyer’s claim that… well… everything is a mitigating factor.

The background of the story is this… Leiby Kletzky attended day camp. He normally took a bus home but wanted desperately to walk home instead. After listening to his begging, his parents agreed to allow him to walk part of the way home – a distance of 7-blocks. He would meet his mother for a doctor’s appointment. His parents were reported to have worked with him to memorize the route. They then also practiced the route together on a ‘dry run.’

On the day that Leiby was to walk home, he left the day camp wearing a striped shirt with his bag over his shoulder and a smaller bag on his waist. He initially followed the route as planned but, then, missed a turn on to a side street.…

Amish Teen Dies After She’s Hit By Bullet Fired Over A Mile Away

December 21, 2011 at 7:50 am by kniption  

Fredericksburg, OH — A 15-year-old Amish girl named Rachel Yoder was riding home alone Thursday night after attending a Christmas party at a nearby produce farm. Inexplicably, as she approached her home, she fell out of the buggy onto the ground. Her brother found her after he saw her horse and buggy circling around her.

The teen died of an apparent head injury. At first, authorities reportedly believed that she had fallen out of the buggy and hit her head. A hospital examination revealed that, in fact, she had been shot in the head.

Wayne County sheriff’s Capt. Douglas Hunter said his department traced a trail of blood along the road the girl had traveled back about three-eighths of a mile into neighboring Holmes County – an area of farms and rolling hills. Although the site of the shooting had been pinpointed, the cause was unknown.

The residents in the area were left to speculate for days. Then, Holmes County Sheriff Timothy Zimmerly said a family who lived about 1.5 miles from the site of the teen’s fatal gunshot wound contacted authorities with the probable cause.…

Accused Shoplifters’ Car Broken Into During Questioning

December 20, 2011 at 7:23 am by kniption  

Ogden, UT - At about 5PM last Thursday, store security at WinCo Foods in Ogden, Utah, were reported to have noticed behavior consistent with shoplifting being exhibited by a man and woman in the store. Security personnel detained the pair – subsequently identified as Korin Vanhouten, 47, [pictured] and Eldon Alexander, 36 – in the store security office.

“[Store security] reviewed surveillance video and recovered stolen property from the suspects,” said Ogden Police Lt. Eric Young.

According to police, Vanhouten and Alexander had been found to be in possession of makeup, energy bars and batteries valued at about $25. Despite clear photographic evidence suggesting that the stolen items were found in Vanhouten’s rectum – sideways – they were, in fact, located in the suspects’ pockets.

Police cited the pair for attempted shoplifting and released them directly from the store.

Sadly, when Vanhouten and Alexander returned to their vehicle, they reportedly discovered that they, too, had been unwitting victims of a crime. According to police reports, the pair discovered that their car had been broken into and approximately $60 worth of items were missing.…

Toddler Falls From Roof, Mother Asks Bystander To ‘Throw Her Back Up’

December 19, 2011 at 7:28 am by kniption  

LaPorte, IN — Tonya Torres, 20, is in custody after orchestrating a rooftop playdate for her two toddlers and a dog. It did not go so smoothly.

On November 25, police reported that a witness saw a 2-year-old girl, her 3-year-old brother and a dog on the roof of a house in town. The witness then saw the girl fall from the roof and land on concrete steps below. A man reportedly rushed to the child’s aid, scooping her up. According to court documents, Torres came out on the roof and, after seeing that the girl had fallen to the ground, asked the man holding her to ‘throw her back up.’

Oddly, the man refused – reportedly necessitating that Torres hump her ass down the stairs to retrieve the girl. The girl was reportedly taken to the hospital where she, thankfully, was found to have no injuries.

The lack of injuries may seem miraculous. Perhaps a bit of background is in order…

Police were called early last year when, according to court documents, the boy showed up at the hospital having ingested an oxycodone pill.…

Woman Gets Jail Time After Microwaving Friend’s Kitten

December 16, 2011 at 7:27 am by kniption  

Torquay, UK - Gina Robins, 31, has been sentenced to jail for cooking the kitten of a former friend after asking the friend to use her microwave in February of this year. …and use it she did.

The incident was reportedly a result of a disagreement between the two friends from a few days earlier. Robins and her now ex-boyfriend, Matt Taylor, are said to have been having a ‘loud’ confrontation outside of their apartment building. The friend and neighbor, Sarah Knutton, called police. Robins complained that the call simply “made it worse.”

Despite the disagreement, Knutton did not refuse when Robins asked to use her microwave oven to heat a jar of baby food. It was reported that Robins returned to living room in Knutton’s apartment when Knutton heard a ‘loud popping noise’ and a ‘horrendous screeching’ as her black and tan 10-week-old kitten was cooked.

According to accounts, Robins feigned shock at the time of the incident. A day later, however, Robins sent Knutton a text message that read: “Remember the saying “what goes around comes around?” It has started already to bite you in the ass.…

Man Leaves Injured Female In Wreckage After Dine-and-Ditch

December 15, 2011 at 9:42 am by kniption  

Mount Olive, NJ — Vincent Pasquarello, 19, has racked up a myriad of charges after a (hopefully) out-of-the-ordinary night. Police first became interested in Pasquarello after they were called by a diner in response to Pasquarello allegedly using a fake credit card to pay a $17.50 bill for a meal he had shared with his female companion. Police said that the couple told the diner staff that they were going outside to get money from their car – but then drove off.

Staff at the diner reported a description of the vehicle the fled in and reported it to police. A patrol officer saw a car matching the description and pulled it over. Police said that the officer identified the driver as the suspect from the diner. The officer also reportedly noted a “heavy odor of alcoholic beverages” and asked the driver to step out of the vehicle.

Police said that the driver, Pasquarello, shifted the car into drive and quickly accelerated from the scene. The patrol officer attempted to grab Pasquarello from the vehicle as he accelerated and had to free himself as the car drove off, police said.…

Teen’s ‘Romantic Problems’ Lead To Horse Theft, Mutilated Credit Card

December 14, 2011 at 7:52 am by kniption  

Magnolia, AR - A Southern Arkansas University rodeo team member is in a bit of trouble after being implicated in the theft of horses kept at the university stables.

According to court documents, five horses and an aluminum trailer were stolen from the SAU stables on November 3. Three of the horses were worth more than $25,000 each. The other two — and the trailer — were worth somewhere between $5,000 and $25,000 each. Jaci Rae Jackson, a student rodeo team member who turned 19 yesterday, has been charged as an accomplice to the crime.

As investigators began working the case, they were reportedly told by one of Jackson’s fellow rodeo students that Jackson had asked her who owned the horses that were later stolen. Court documents described another student saying that Jackson took notes about the locations of the stalls where the stolen horses were housed.

Then, on Nov. 7, an informant reported to authorities that Jackson had asked for help moving the stolen horses. According to the affidavit, Jackson told the informant that her mother’s boyfriend had “screwed it up.”

It is hard to know what, exactly, the mother’s boyfriend ‘screwed up’ but, apparently, it wasn’t the killing of one of the horses.…

Dad Accused Of Drugging Kids To Pass Urine Screening

December 13, 2011 at 7:17 am by kniption  

Jefferson, OH — A father-of-four has been charged with giving all four of his children Oxycodone in an attempt to trick a drug test and secure more of the drug.

Police said Lawrence E. Kirk Jr., 30, was required to submit a urine test before his Oxy prescription would be renewed. The urine test needed to show that he was not using illegal drugs. Apparently not believing he would pass the screening, he reportedly devised a plan to provide the urine that needed to be Oxy-tainted – but otherwise clean.

Police said Kirk diluted highly addictive Oxycodone in water and then had his 6, 7, 9 and 10 year old children drink the concoction. He then collected their urine and presented it to a doctor as his own. Lest anyone think that Kirk was off on his own in this endeavor… Kirk’s wife, Sarah, 31, who was also implicated in the scheme, has already pleaded guilty to four counts of endangering children.

According to the arrest affidavit, authorities discovered the scam when the children told a social worker that their parents would feed them crushed blue pills in water.…

Neighbors Steal Christmas Decorations, Put Them Up Down The Street

December 12, 2011 at 2:59 am by kniption  

Sweetwater, FL – Guadalupe Valdes and an unnamed accomplice have been charged with stealing Christmas decorations from a neighbor and them placing them in their own yard less than one block away.

The lawn ornaments were rather distinctive. They included Mickey Mouse on a horse, some hugging penguins, and Snoopy on a dog house. Owner Ingrid Alemendarez reportedly saw her ornaments less than a block away from her home, in the suspects’ front yard. She then called police.

Alemendarez, as it turns out, has a surveillance camera mounted on the front of her house. So, if possession were not enough, the video of the suspects actually stealing the ornaments should be. A news report showing the surveillance footage and the suspects arrest can be seen here.

The women have reportedly been charged with grand theft.…

Man Gets Two Years For Providing Scholarships In Exchange For Spankings

December 9, 2011 at 5:04 am by kniption  

Virginia Beach, VA – A selfless Virginia restaurateur, who reportedly took it upon himself to establish a personal college scholarship program to aid women in need, has pleaded guilty to sexual battery for… well… administering it.

Court testimony said that Henry Allen Fitzsimmons, 54, called his program the ‘Spencer Scholarship Program.’ It reportedly offered participants a chance ‘to go to college and better their lives.’ Court documents said that, sadly, none of the several women in the Spencer Scholarship Program ever began their college studies – as Fitzsimmons had deemed that they ‘were not yet ready.’ Five women filed criminal complaints against Fitzsimmons in April, saying – in effect – that the beatings from the Spencer Scholarship Program had left them with bruises and welts on their asses.

The women testified they were cash-strapped when they signed on to Fitzsimmons’ scholarship program. At the time of their “acceptance” into the scholarship program, the women were reportedly told that the program did not allow drinking alcohol and required the participants to phone Fitzsimmons.…

Teacher Busted Having Sex With Underage Boy She Met At Bible Camp

December 8, 2011 at 8:23 am by kniption  

Westlake, LA — Twenty-eight-year-old bible school teacher/hottie Heather N. Daughdrill has found herself on the business end of the Louisiana justice system having been arrested for inappropriate sexual contact with a 13-year-old boy.

It was reported that text messages discovered by the 13-year-old boy’s parents prompted a call to authorities in early November. The subsequent investigation determined that Daughdrill had ‘inappropriate sexual contact’ with the boy on ‘multiple occasions between June and October’ after ‘picking him up from school without the parents’ knowledge.’

Daughdrill reportedly met the boy while she was working as a teacher/aide at a Summer Bible school camp the boy had attended.

“So when Corinthians talks about people who won’t inherit the Kingdom of God, it is talking about people who do that stuff that we just did, right?”

Daughdrill was arrested on November 28 and charged with 4 counts of carnal knowledge of a juvenile; 8 counts of sexual battery; 3 counts of 2nd degree kidnapping; 1 count contributing to the delinquency of a juvenile; and 1 count indecent behavior with a juvenile.…

Firefighters Watch Another Home Burn Because Of Unpaid Fire Protection Fee

December 8, 2011 at 3:48 am by kniption  

Obion County, TN — Vicky Bell called 911 when a fire started in the trailer she shared with her boyfriend, but it didn’t lead to much. Because Bell and her boyfriend had not paid a fire protection fee, firefighters were not going to put it out. So, instead, the mobile home burned to the ground.

The nearby city is South Fulton. City residents automatically have fire protection but rural residents do not. They have to pay a $75 fure protection fee that is referred to as “pay for spray.” The mayor says it comes down to simple business. If they don’t collect fire fees, the fire department can’t survive and if they make exceptions to the rule, no one will ever pay the fee. South Fulton made the news last year for a similar incident.

“There’s no way to go to every fire and keep up the manpower, the equipment, and just the funding for the fire department,” Mayor David Crocker said.

But it was reported that the firefighters did go to the fire.…

Man Awarded $2.3 Million After Suing Attacker Who Cut Off His Penis

December 7, 2011 at 8:57 am by kniption  

Canton, NY — A man who was mutilated has been awarded awarded $2.3 million by a state Supreme Court after suing the man who mutilated him. I’d say he earned it, though.

According to court document, 27-year-old Harry E. Klages II had a party at his apartment in Massena, New York in January 2008. Andrew W. Lesperance, 51, attended the party and reportedly only met Klages earlier that night. Police were called after Klages phoned his father to say he had done something “he wasn’t very proud of.”

Responding police would find Lesperance with one eyeball gouged out, the other eyeball sliced, his abdomen cut, his leg nearly severed below his hip, and having had his genitals cut off. All of this courtesy of Klages, who was reported to be intoxicated, high, and ‘possibly using other drugs.’

Klages would later claim that he attacked Lesperance in response to ‘sexual misconduct,’ but prosecutors called “bullshit.” Klages – who was on probation at the time of the attack – would accept a plea deal in 2009 that resulted in a sentence of 38 years in prison.…

Woman Hits Boy With Car, Tosses Christian Booklet, Leaves Scene

December 6, 2011 at 8:12 am by kniption  

Houston, TX – Aida Hillen, 58, has been arrested after police say she hit a high school student with her car, tossed a religious pamphlet out of her window and drove off.

The incident happened October 14 around 5PM. Police say Hillen was driving near Milby High School when she struck a student. The student told police he was knocked to the ground by Hillen’s car. He reportedly told police that Hillen stopped, rolled down her window and asked if he was “okay.”

But when he said “no,” the student said Hillen tossed a Christian booklet at him and left the scene.

Another student who witnessed this reportedly ran after the car trying to flag Hillen down, but Hillen just waved “bye” at him and kept driving. That person wrote her license plate number down on his arm and called 911. The victim was treated and released, but a few days later had to go to the emergency room with chest pains – reportedly for bruised ribs.

Investigators said the student identified Hillen in a photo array that included her driver’s license picture.…

Teen Hires Gang Members To Kidnap Baby To Cover Faked Pregnancy

December 5, 2011 at 3:36 am by kniption  

Santa Ana, CA – Gladys Remigio, 17, and her two accomplices are in police custody after Remigio’s plan to kidnap a baby and present it as her own failed miserably. This after reportedly telling her out-of-town boyfriend that she had been carrying his pup for the last nine months. Remigio was said to have recently moved from New York state to Santa Ana. As she had allegedly told her San Diego boyfriend nine months earlier that she was pregnant with his child, she was under significant pressure to deliver. Bahahhahahahaha. Sorry.

Conveniently, her roommate had a 15-day old baby that would do just fine. Prosecutors say Remigio hired ‘hardcore gang members’ Robert Henry Rodriguez, 19, and Steven Quirino, 20, to snatch the baby during what was to look like a robbery. Remigio and the mother would, then, both be apparent victims.

Prosecutors described Remigio and her partners-in-crime ransacking the house Remigio shared with the mother and stealing a video game console. The mother was said to have been forced into a bedroom at the time.…

Man Cited For Asking Mall Employees to ‘Look At His Hemorrhoids’

December 2, 2011 at 8:40 am by kniption  

Orland Park, IL - Arthur B. Andrews, 36, was issued a citation for his attempts to seek sorely needed medical advice at an Illinois shopping mall.

Late in the evening on Nov. 19, police received calls from employees at Orland Square Mall reporting that a man was attempting to ‘flash’ people. What police reportedly discovered was that the man was, in fact, seeking medical advice from mall personnel regarding an apparently raging case of hemorrhoids.

According to an Orland Park police report, several store employees told police that the man – later identified as Andrews – kept approaching them, asking them to look at his hemorrhoids and, immediately after asking and before they could respond, turning around and showing them his ‘condition.’

After obtaining a description of the suspect, the officer reportedly found Andrews in a lower level bathroom.

A second news report identified Andrews as a ‘fellow employee’ of the complaintants. If so, it is a sad day, indeed, when a person cannot seek out the opinion of coworkers on a simple butt painful affliction such as his. Andrews was cited for disorderly conduct and is scheduled for a municipal hearing on Dec.…