Five Teens Accused Of Raping 13-Year-Old GirlToddler Found Frozen To Death On Front Porch Of Her HomeTeen Gouged Out Both Of Her Eyeballs Outside South Carolina ChurchMan Dies After Falling Into An Industrial Tire ShredderCouple Accused Of Beating Three Children, Forcing Them To Eat Dog FecesMorgue Worker Accused Of Having Sex With Corpse Of Reality TV StarWoman Dies After Teen Extended Car Jack Inside Her VaginaTeenage Teaching Assistant Accused Of Molesting 17 ChildrenMan Accused Of Killing Ex-Girlfriend And Three Others At Pennsylvania Car Wash

About kniption

Title: Scribe
Published Articles: 454

My love of adverbs is eclipsed only by my apparent need to construct delightfully complicated multi-level sentences - using both arcane word choices and complex qualifiers - that often require a dry erase board to decipher. that one.

New York, NY – Susanna Barrett, pageant mother of 5-year-old “Toddlers & Tiaras” star Isabella Barrett, has filed a $30 million libel suit against three media outlets in which she claims that their reporting tried to ‘sexualize’ her youngster’s performance in an online video.

In response to the kindergartner’s ‘innocent’ rendition of the LMFAO song “I’m Sexy and I Know It,” Barrett claims that, The Huffington Post and London’s Daily Mail all “brazenly attempt to sexualize” the girl by “claiming she was gyrating in a nightclub and singing about her sex appeal.”

While the child was singing the song in a nightclub, and the song is a first person account of the singer being sexy, Barrett points out that her daughter does not, in fact, understand “sexiness.” Consequently, the media’s portrayal of her daughter’s performance as ‘sexy’ is, well, just crazy talk!

Isabella Barret and ever-present friend

Not only that… the lawsuit points out that the youngster could not have been gyrating because “she was sitting down.” Well, duh, clueless media outlets!…

St. Paul, MN – When Jennifer A. Pickar, 30, went to a St. Paul emergency room on the afternoon of Jan. 1 to seek treatment for tremors, a nurse attending to Pickar noticed her 10-day-old baby boy appeared to have two black eyes. After examination, the baby was reportedly taken to the intensive care unit at Children’s Hospital in Minneapolis, where an examination revealed the extent of his injuries.

It turns out that the baby – for whom treatment was not being sought by the mother – also had bruises on his left ear, fractures on the bones around his eyes, and bleeding in the front and back of his brain. The baby needed a breathing tube and a shunt was surgically inserted into his skull to reduce swelling.

According to court documents, the 10-day-old underwent surgery to repair the broken facial bones, but more will be required. The baby’s current condition is unknown. Court documents say that the child is expected to have “significant deficits” because of the injuries.…

Bakersfield, CA – Sgt. Mary DeGeare of the Bakersfield Police Department says that on December 10, a man removed security cameras from a business on Bakerfield’s San Dimas Street. Police know this because – coincidentally – security cameras strategically located close-by recorded the thefts as they occurred.

The placement of security cameras is often a huge logistical problem for businesses. “How many do I need?” and “Where do I put them?” are common questions asked of trained surveillance professionals or criminologists.

Thankfully, it turns out that if you are interested in recording the theft of the security cameras themselves, the problem is greatly simplified. Experts say that, in that case, you can mount the security cameras virtually anywhere with effective results.

Please take a close look at the photos of the suspect in the Bakersfield case. Anyone with information regarding the identity of this suspect is encouraged to call Detective Scott Miller at (661) 326-3947.…

Baily, CO – Catrina Fox, 17, was killed late Friday night after – according to reports – intentionally opening the door of a car driven by her mother and jumping out.  Fox ended up in the path of another car.

“I’ve never seen anything like that. She just got hit at full speed. It was horrific,” witness Dean Krakel later told news media.

A Colorado State police representative said that Fox was riding home to Bailey from Denver at around 1 a.m. when she ‘kicked open the door of her mom’s sedan and leapt onto US 285.’  She was then promptly hit by a 17-year-old boy from Littleton Colorado driving a 2001 Chrysler PT Cruiser. Colorado State Patrol Trooper Josh Lewis said that the driver of the PT Cruiser and his passengers were uninjured.

Krakel said that Fox’s mother passed out from shock after the accident, and the people who ran over the teen were “wailing” with grief.

It was reported that Fox had recently earned her GED and was planning on heading to California.  …

Greensboro, NC — Kevin Kennedy Gilchrest, 48, was apprehended in connection with the dumping of a nude woman’s body along a city street last Sunday. Police say that Gilchrest did not realize at the time that the woman was not dead.

The magistrate’s report describes the unidentified woman resisting Gilchrest’s attack Sunday. The arrest warrant said the attacker placed one hand on the woman’s throat while pushing her against a wall. The assailant then pushed her to the ground. The strangulation reportedly continued while the victim was raped.

The court records go on to say that – after the rape – the attacker severly beat her. He then reportedly assessed her lifelessness by raising and letting go of her arm. Court documents say that she allowed her arm to ‘flop down’ in a fashion indicating that she had died during the strangulation and beating. Gilchrest also reportedly held his finger under her nose to detect breathing – during which the victim was reported to have held her breath.

Court documents say that the attacker then placed the woman in his car and dumped her nude body on the side a city street early Sunday.…

Gaston County, NC – Danny Robbie Hembree Jr., 50, was convicted of the 2009 suffocation death of 17-year-old Heather Catterton after they reportedly shared a sexual encounter for which Catterton received crack cocaine.

Hembree was sentenced to death for Catterton’s murder on Nov 18 by a Gaston County jury. Hembree is also accused of killing two other women, Randi Dean Saldana and Deborah Ratchford. In fact, he confessed to murdering them but – since the death sentence for killing Catterton – the point is somewhat moot.

One might assume that a death sentence would dampen Hembree’s spirits a bit. If the letter that Hembree recently submitted to the local Gaston County newpaper for publication is any indication, that is not the case at all.

“Is the public aware that the chances of my lawful murder taking place in the next 20 years if ever are very slim?” Hembree asked. “Is the public aware that I am [now] a gentleman of leisure, watching color TV in the a/c, reading, taking naps at will, eating three well-balanced meals a day?”

Heather Catterton

“I’m housed in a building that connects to the new 55 million dollar hospital with round the clock free medical care 24/7.” Hembree adds.…

Sioux Falls, SD — Until last summer, the tourist town of Hill City – in the South Dakota Black Hills – held mock wild west gunfights in a town street for more than 20 years. The Dakota Wild Bunch – a group of wild west reenactors – had performed the street gunfights several times for the last four years.

As you might expect, the reenactors typically use blanks during the mock gun battles. The festivities came to a screeching halt on June 17 of last year, though, when a reenactor with live ammunition in his .45 caliber revolver wounded three audience members. Oopsie.

It only took a moment for the gun battle to go south. Here is the official transcript as reconstructed from witness accounts and audience member video footage:

Bang. Bang bang.  Aaaaiiiiieeeeeyyyyyaaaa!!!!!

Well… maybe not “official,” but close enough.

One of the bullets fired shattered a leg bone of Minnesota tourist Carol Knutson, 65. South Dakota tourism got a real shot-in-the-arm in the form of the wounding of Pennsylvania tourist, Dr.…

Albuquerque, NM – U.S. Marshals tracked Moses Sparks, 26, to a trailer park near Mullins, South Carolina on Thursday. Sparks was wanted on charges of criminal sexual penetration, kidnapping and aggravated assault of his then girlfriend after allegedly breaking into her New Mexico home in September and beating and raping her.

Sparks reportedly tried to run last Thursday night as the arrest team approached.  The team – made up of Marion County drug agents, Marion County Sheriff’s deputies and deputy US Marshals – apprehended him. Authorities entering the trailer reportedly found an active drug manufacturing operation – as well as the woman whom Sparks had allegedly raped in New Mexico.

Sparks – who had been on probation for kidnapping and aggravated battery at the time of the alleged rape – was given an additional charge of manufacturing a controlled substance. His girlfriend was charged with manufacturing a controlled substance and harboring a fugitive.  An additional charge of being a complete idiot is presumably still pending.

Cops bust rape suspect, alleged victim:

Winter Haven, FL – Sheriff’s deputies in Florida are searching for the assailant in an execution-style slaying of a Florida laundramat change machine.

The man was recorded on video entering the Busy Bubbles laundramat, drawing a semi-automatic pistol, and firing a single round into the machine. He then pauses and reaches out to his victim – presumably to check for a pulse. Clearly not satisfied, the stone-cold killer then fires multiple rounds into the victim while it sits motionless. The assailant then flees.

The suspect is described as a black male, approximately 5’11” tall, 185 lbs., wearing a gray hoodie and dark baggy pants. As the perpetrator did not recover any money from the victim, it is suspected that he will be charged with attempted robbery when captured.

If anyone has information about this incident or can identify this suspect, they are urged to contact Polk County Detective Jason Paquin at (863) 287-9037.

Only together can we stop organized crime…

Wetumpka, AL – Edward Lee Bodkin, 68, attracted the attention of Massachusetts prison officials after sending a 7-page letter to an inmate at a facility for sexual offenders. In it, Bodkin described a litany of attacks on children, including an alleged encounter of a sexual nature he had with a month-and-a-half-old infant. Elmore County Chief Investigator R.T. Ward. described the letter as “horrendous.”

“We learned of him after we were contacted by a representative from the Massachusetts Treatment Center for Sexually Dangerous Persons where one of the inmates was receiving sexually explicit mail from (Bodkin),” said Ward.

According to Ward, investigators and deputies found about 100 VHS video tapes and 500 DVDs containing pornographic material. Sheriff Bill Franklin said that even seasoned investigators found the case disturbing.

“He’ll sit down and talk with you about it like he’s talking about the weather,” the sheriff said. “In all my years in law enforcement, I don’t recall a case like this.”

Bodkin was arrested and jailed shortly after sheriff’s investigators searched his home.…

Hartlepool, UK – A UK court has jailed Gareth Francis Owen, 22, indefinitely after a judge branded him a danger to the public. Owen had been sentenced two weeks ago to five months incarceration for causing unnecessary suffering to his Labrador after admitting having sex with the dog. This additional sentence comes in response to Owen pleading guilty to added charges of making and possessing both “extreme” and “child” pornography.

Owen’s troubles began when he took his computer to a shop to be repaired. A call to the police led to the discovery of ‘indecent photos’ of children and a ‘sickening collection’ of bestiality pictures. Court records describe there being evidence of several ‘vile’ movies which had been deleted. In addition, Owen’s probation report described the defendant writing pornographic accounts involving explicit sexual activities between ‘adult males and Pokemon characters.’

When considering the charge of the assault on the dog, Prosecutor Lynne Dalton said Owen admitted having sexual relations with a number of family pets and horses from the age of 14.…

Bartlesville, OK – Patrons at an Oklahoma grocery store got a surprise when George Edward Brown, 51, exposed himself in front of the in-store bank.

The free show reportedly began last Sunday around 1:13 p.m. at the Food Pyramid grocery store when Brown – described as wearing a coon skin cap at the time – let it all hang out in front of the Bank of Oklahoma desk in a possible form of protest.

As Bartlesville is a good-sized town, residents are not without the opportunity to attend male revues. Still, an opportunity to see a truly professional display of raw Chippendale’s-quality masculinity free-of-charge is not to be passed up by the ladies. Sadly for Brown, by blocking the bank’s desk, he inadvertently cheated himself out of what could have been tens – nay, hundreds – of singles stuffed into his welcoming pouch.

Officers were dispatched after a presumably unappreciative few reported him for indecent exposure. When police arrived, they reportedly found Brown again facing the bank counter in the ‘busy store with many people around him.’ The arrest affidavit said that – when asked to turn around – Brown complied with his credit union member “completely exposed through a hole in the front of his jeans.”

Police arrested Brown on a charge of indecent exposure.…

Athens, TN – Athens police have charged Douglas Gregory Nichols, 36, after allegedly he dressed up to resemble his dead sister in an effort to fill her prescriptions for Xanax and hydrocodone.

His first successful attempt was reported to have occurred less than one day after she had died. I can feel the grief slipping away…

According to police, witnesses said Nichols wore a wig and makeup on a total of two occasions to pick up prescriptions that belonged to his sister. Sgt. Detective Heith Willis said investigators are “assuming he was doing that to look more like the relative.”

You just can’t get anything by those Tennessee investigators.

Unfortunately for Nichols’, pharmacy staff reportedly recognized that ‘he wasn’t the right person’ during his second attempt.  Nichols was arrested and subsequently charged with prescription fraud and other related charges. He is being held on a bond of more than $500,000.…

Howell, MI – A high school hockey team’s season was put on indefinite hold after a seemingly wild weekend that included an incident that the school concluded was hazing.

The Howell (Michigan) High School team was on a school-sponsored team trip to Marquette, Michigan when members of the team reportedly ended up walking around a bar wearing women’s ‘unmentionables.’ In an interview, head coach Randy Montrose referred to the incident as a “runway show” – adding that it involved swimsuits.

Photographic evidence obtained by the administration contradicted his account. The photos – which unmistakably placed the coaches, other players, many parents, and bar patrons in the audience – showed some of the students dressed in women’s underwear – reportedly including ‘bras, panties and girdles.’ This while the students were walking around a bar located across the street from their Marquette hotel.

Girdles?!? Please tell me that these kids didn’t also break in to the Northern Michigan Historical Museum of Women’s Undergarments!

The Howell School Administration’s decision that it was a form of hazing resulted in the dismissal of Coach Montrose and his two assistants.…

Miami, FL – Matthew Thomas Scheidt, 18, is facing a charge of impersonating an officer after making the fatal mistake of pulling alongside an undercover cop and advising him to ‘fasten his seatbelt.’

“The undercover officer made eye contact with the driver, and noticed that he was conducting himself as an officer, using a laptop, speaking with the officer using police jargon,” Miami Beach Police spokesman Juan Sanchez said in a statement.

After backup was called in, Scheidt’s car was stopped. Police said that, inside, they found a .380 caliber pistol under the front passenger seat, a Taser, handcuffs, a radio, an Osceola County Police badge, several Osceola County Police shirts and an empty ankle holster – presumably meaning that there was no ankle in it.

Some may recall that Scheidt was arrested last fall after treating patients at the emergency room at Osceola Regional Medical Center. At the time, Scheidt had claimed to be a 23-year-old physician’s assistant for a surgical group, police said. It turned out that Scheidt was actually a part-time billing clerk for the surgical group.…

Kalida, OH – Ohio state police say Dylan T. Brinkman, 25, was driving about 1am Saturday on a rural highway when his vehicle dropped off the east side of the roadway, he overcorrected, and then slid off the west side of the road.

Brinkman’s SUV reportedly struck a utility pole broadside on its passenger side which severed the pole and brought the power lines crashing down. Authorities said that Brinkman – who is suspected by police to have been drinking – then got out of his vehicle and began walking down the road.

The police report goes on to say that nearby resident, 42-year-old  Michael E. Feldman (pictured), was at home when his power went out. Police said that the power outage prompted Feldman to leave his wife and 3 and 1/2-year-old daughter behind while he got into his car and drove the one-half mile to the crash site to help.

Once there, he got out of his vehicle to check the now empty SUV and – while walking to the crashed vehicle – stepped on a live power line, fell on to it due to the initial shock, and was electrocuted.…

Duluth, GA – Donald Ray Ayro, 31, was clearly not pleased with the ruckus being caused by two 49ers fans after the 49ers had scored against the Saints. The three, who were at a Georgia Applebee’s, ‘exchanged words’ over the outburst.

“The only thing me and my buddy said was, we were excited that the 49ers scored,” Corey Adams said. “It was only one touchdown.”

Adams said that Ayro paid for his food and left in a hurry saying that he would be back – as in “I’ll be bock.”  Not long after, police responding to a report of shots fired in the parking lot of the Applebee’s found Adams, 30, with a grazing gunshot wound to his head and friend Christopher Middleton, 30, with a gunshot wound to the abdomen.

Witnesses provided police with a description of the alleged shooter and his vehicle. Not long after, police spotted Ayro on a nearby highway and stopped him for questioning. Ayro was then charged with two counts of aggravated assault, being a felon in possession of a firearm and possession of a firearm during the commission of a felony.…

Gwinnettt County, GA – If Georgia police are correct, Joseph Raymond Zoeck, 62, is proving himself to be a veritable one-man crime spree. This after police linked him to the attempted solicitation of a young man in a suburban municipal pool locker room. The solicitation charge comes on the heels of his being charged for lighting the underpants of an underaged teen on fire in a motel room during an alleged sexual rendezvous. Wait… what?

According to police documents, on July 10, Zoeck offered money to a 17-year-old male in exchange for certain sexual acts. The two then reportedly went to the Suburban Lodge Motel in Woodstock. There, police say Zoeck bound and gagged the teen and set the boy’s undergarments on fire – with him still in them. It is not believed that this was one of the sexual acts that had been agreed to…

The teen was taken to Grady Memorial Hospital, where he told police what happened. Zoeck was arrested on July 19 and charged with aggravated battery, cruelty to children first degree, false imprisonment and solicitation of sodomy.…

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