Woman Charged After Shooting Man In Head On Facebook LiveWoman Decapitated Her 7-year-old Son With Kitchen KnifeBoy, 4, Mauled To Death By Family Dog While Playing In BackyardPersian Vegan Animal Rights Activist Kills Herself After Shooting Multiple People At Youtube HQWoman Admits Beating Her Toddler To Death For Wetting The BedCanadian Man Lynched By Villagers In Amazon Rain Forest After Allegedly Killing ShamanWoman Accused Of Setting Ex-boyfriend On Fire On Easter Sunday

About kniption

Title: Scribe
Published Articles: 454
Website: www.dreamindemon.com

My love of adverbs is eclipsed only by my apparent need to construct delightfully complicated multi-level sentences - using both arcane word choices and complex qualifiers - that often require a dry erase board to decipher. ...like that one.

Bridgeport, CT – Former Stamford police officer, Paul Mabey, 43, pleaded no contest to disorderly conduct after having been charged for showing a photo of his penis to women during traffic stops.

According to police, on May 21, 2010, Mabey conducted a traffic stop on a woman with her 21 month-old-baby in a car seat in the back. The reason for the stop… talking on her cell phone.  Court documents describe Mabey pointing out to her almost immediately that her dress had ridden up her thighs. The woman apologized and rolled her dress down. She said that Mabey replied, “No. I like what I see.”

[Cue music] Boom chicka chicka wow wow…

Mabey would then be told by the woman that he was too old. [Music stops abruptly]

“I’m only 40. That’s not old, it’s experienced,” she quoted Mabey in her formal complaint as saying.

After taking her license and registration to his car, Mabey reportedly came back and told her she should plead not guilty to the cell phone ticket and buy a hands-free device.…

Scranton, PA – On Monday, police investigators were in the home of Waleska Guadalupe, 28, following up on allegations of abuse of her children.

During that visit, police asked Guadalupe’s daughter to show them a belt that the child had claimed Guadalupe had used to hit both her and her brother.

According to a criminal complaint filed in the case, the child went to a closet to retrieve the belt and – upon opening it – ‘reared back’ and told the officer she had seen “something disgusting.”

Inside the closet, police describe finding a sex toy. When police asked Guadalupe about the device, she reportedly told them that ‘she used it with her 15-year-old girlfriend.’

Bzzzzzzzzzt. Wrong answer.

According to court documents, Police immediately contacted the Lackawanna County district attorney’s office and were advised to pursue an arrest warrant against Guadalupe for statutory sexual assault.

Guadalupe granted officers written permission to search her home. The sex toy – along with the packaging from several other sex toys that she said she used with her girlfriend – were reportedly taken into evidence.…

Toledo, OH – Lawrence J. Clement, 57, has turned himself in to Toledo police after having been told that there was an active warrant for his arrest. This in response to allegations that he was discovered touching a corpse ‘in a sexual manner’ while working at a funeral home.

Police say Clement – of Temperance Michigan – had “sexual contact by means of touching the erogenous zone” of Brenda Shular-Cameron, 51. Shular-Cameron had died Sunday of multiple organ failure. Shular-Cameron’s family was reportedly told that another funeral home employee witnessed Clement “fondling” the woman’s corpse.

Clement, who had worked part time at H.H. Birkenkamp Funeral Home where the incident allegedly occurred, has since been fired by the company, a spokesman said Wednesday. The family of the victim reportedly said they were told Clement worked there for seven years and was a ‘greeter.’

“I’m enraged,” said Anne Lamprecht, the victim’s mother. “My daughter died a horrible death. She was a beautiful young woman. I cringe to even think of them touching her.”

The family had the woman’s body transferred to a different funeral home, but the future is not yet clear.…

Brooklyn, NY – On September 28, a 2-week-old boy died at Maimonides Hospital in Brooklyn. A subsequent investigation by the medical examiner office led to a determination of the official cause of death to be, “disseminated herpes simplex virus Type 1, complicating ritual circumcision with oral suction.”

This is basically a fancy way of saying that the newborn died after a rabbi with herpes cleaned the baby’s freshly circumcised penis with his mouth. Despite this sounding like a really good idea… it turns out that it is not.

Far from being some new fad, the ritual of oral suction — or in Hebrew, metzitzah b’peh — was first described some 1800 years ago in a section of the Talmud. The procedure is spelled out very clearly – as is the consequence of not doing it correctly.

If a surgeon does not suck, it is dangerous and he is dismissed.

Taken literally, the procedure occurs during the circumcision ritual as the practitioner, or mohel, removes the foreskin of the penis.…

Potrero, CA – Richard Fox, 39, achieved a D’D trifecta when, after drinking, he loaded his homemade cannon with powder extracted from fireworks, ignited it sending shrapnel through his mobile home, thus killing his 38-year-old girlfriend.

San Diego County Sheriff’s Department homicide detectives are investigating the incident at the Twin Lakes Resort mobile home park near the California-Mexico border where Jeanette Ogara was found dead just after midnight.  There was little mystery as to the cause of her demise.

“They had a large-sized hole in the side of the trailer,” Mike Moller of Cal Fire told news reporters.

Three other adults were inside the trailer when the mobile home was hit by the shrapnel from the exploding cannon. For those of you who can still see on your four horizons the distant edges of the continental land mass that is Fox’s stupidity, I will add that the dead woman’s 4-year-old daughter was also in the trailer at the time. Thankfully, neither the young girl nor the other adults were hurt.…

Philadelphia, PA – Willie Singletary had led a charmed life. In 2007, while running for the position of judge with the Philadelphia Traffic Court, it was discovered that Singletary – who holds no law degree – had a suspended license and more than $11,000 in traffic tickets. Singletary made up for his shortcomings with his positive campaign message, though.

“There’s going to be a basket going around, because I’m running for Traffic Court judge, right, and I need some money,” Singletary said at a 2007 biker rally. “Now, you all want me to get there. You’re all going to need my hookup, right?”

Singletary – shown in a picture from his Myspace page – would win that election. …and, after a small reprimand for the apparent suggestion that he would run a court steeped in corruption and favoritism, he was poised for great things. …at least until the FBI showed up.

In September 2011, the FBI raided the home and office of Administrative Judge Michael Sullivan and others amidst a long list of allegations of ticket fixing for political friends and family.…

Nantes, France — An unidentified Frenchman from the rural village of Vern d’Anjou is suing Google after having been photographed by a Street View camera while peeing in his garden.

The photo (seen here), taken in November 2010, subsequently appeared on the Google maps website.  When the man discovered his photo online, he was understandably p… outraged.

“Everyone has the right to a degree of secrecy,” his lawyer, Jean-Noel Bouillard, told news reporters.

It was reported that the man thought that he was hidden from view by a closed gate as he urinated but, despite this, the elevated camera of the Google Street View vehicle was able to capture his image over the gate. The man – whose face and nearby license plate were blurred in the photo to hide his identity – claimed in the lawsuit that he was still recognized and that the photograph made him ‘the laughing stock’ of his village of 3000 residents.

The excruciating taunts that the man has been forced to endure presumably include questions such as “Why did you feel the need to hide behind a locked gate to pee in the first place?” and “Why did you not turn toward the camera upon realizing that you had the opportunity – nay, privilege – of peeing in full view of the world?” The hiding of public urination is seen as very suspicious in France.…

Hermitage, Mo. – Marlin Dallas Lane, 29, was caring for an 18-month-old girl in his home between August 15 to September 30, 2009 while her mother – with whom Lane had another child – was working. Any mistreatment of the toddler during that time went undetected, but only weeks later the toddler would be diagnosed with genital warts on both her vagina and anus. According to the Webster County Health Department, Lane had received the same diagnosis in 2007.

As you might expect, at that time, the child was unable to verbalize any account of sexual contact to which she may have been subjected. It wouldn’t be until February 2011 that – according to investigators – the victim was able to begin to communicate the details of a sexual assault to a children’s services employee.

During a follow-up interview with detectives, the child was able to further verbalize the abuse and use an anatomically correct drawing to show detectives what “Daddy Dallas” had done to her. For those inclined, you can view the charging documents as a Word document here.…

Macon, GA – With the apparent advent of the ‘God-fearing rapist,’ what was once simply a reprehensible and horrific act of aggression and subjugation has become something… more. Case in point: Jarvis Hurey, 28.

Prosecutors charged Hurey for allegedly breaking inside a 71-year-old woman’s home early July 7 and assaulting her. According to court documents, the woman was reading in her bed that night with her back door open but with the screen door closed and locked.

Senior Assistant District Attorney Don Kelly said that the victim looked up to see Hurey at her bedroom door. Hurey reportedly ‘ran forward and covered the woman’s head with a T-shirt.’ He then tried to rape her, Kelly added.

“What that man put me through that night was very painful, unbelievable, unimaginable and excruciating,” the victim said in court testimony. “He raped me mentally and physically.”

“…before he left, he turned to me and he said, ‘Will you pray for me?’ and then he walked out the door,” the woman added.

Police reportedly found a palm print and DNA evidence linking Hurey to the crime.…

Nashville, TN – In the early hours of December 10, Erin Brown, 21, and her boyfriend – who had been out drinking – reportedly decided to call it a night. Believing that she was too drunk to drive, Brown handed the keys of her Toyota Scion over to her boyfriend, Trevor Bradshaw, 23.

They didn’t make it very far. Bradshaw, who police say was speeding, hit two pedestrians, crossed a median, and struck a taxi cab head on. According to witnesses, Bradshaw then loudly declared ’10-15 times’ that he was drunk before fleeing – only to be brought back to the scene by two witnesses. According to police, Bradshaw fled again before police arrived on the scene.

After being transported to a local hospital, Michael Brooksher, 22, died on Dec. 12. Booksher’s friend, Tommy Allen, 23, was in a coma for nearly two months after being struck. He died due to his injuries on Feb. 7. The taxi driver and Brown reportedly suffered only minor injuries. Brown remained on the scene.…

Sofa King Banned

March 2, 2012 at 10:15 am by  

Northampton, UK – The UK furniture retailer Sofa King came under fire when an advertisement in a local newspaper – using their 9-year-old slogan – drew complaints from three readers.

From it’s early beginnings, Sofa King has taken pride in the particular way that they do business. Customers were assured that the prices they were paying were not just low – they were Sofa King low! …and the delivery wasn’t just fast – it was Sofa King fast!

But, alas, an era has ended… The recent review by the UK Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) stemming from the reader’s objections resulted in one inescapable conclusion – their slogan is Sofa King offensive that it should not be used.

“The ASA noted that the phrase ‘Sofa King Low’ used the advertiser’s company name – but considered that it could be interpreted as a derivative of the swear word ‘f***’, which consumer research had found to be a word so likely to offend that it should not be used in ads at all, even when it was relevant to the name of a product,” the industry watchdog group explained.…

Adam WrightBrooklyn, NY – On Nov. 13, 2002, a 12-year-old girl was taken by a man into a ‘filthy’ elevator room on the rooftop of her tenement and raped. Then, when the man was done, he raped her again.

“[The man] raped a 12-year-old stranger, then completely dressed her, leading her to believe — however fleetingly — that her nightmare [was] over. He then undressed her and raped her a second time,” Brooklyn Supreme Court Justice Dineen Riviezzo said.

With no suspect in the crime, life went on. The victim described that the attack made her afraid of men and changed her from a sweet young girl into an aggressive and reclusive teen. “I had nightmares day in and day out, year after year,” she added.

Then, six years later, a man named Adam Wright, now 44, would be arrested for an open alcohol container violation. A DNA test conducted at the time of that arrest matched him to the young girl’s rape. Wright was charged and put on trial.

During the trial, Wright acted as his own lawyer.…

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