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CEDAR CITY, UT – Police have arrested a man after a 7-year-old girl told police he had raped and molested her multiple over the last six months.

According to charges filed in 5th District Court Monday, the girl told workers at the Children’s Justice Center that 32-year-old Victor Michel-Lara had raped her “thousands of times.”

When interviewed by police, Michel-Lara said that this was all a big misunderstanding.

He said that on two occasions he was putting lotion on the girl as she was sitting on his lap and that his fingers accidentally slipped into her vagina. Doh!

He also said that twice after he had gotten out of the shower, he had laid on the bed naked when the girl jumped on him and the two began rough-housing.

The girl slipped, said Michel-Lara, and wouldn’t you know it, the girl sat right on his penis. Doh!

I have been posting about child rape for over a decade and I have heard every excuse imaginable — from furniture being blamed for sexual abuse to claims that the child was begging for it.

But I got to hand it to this pile of shit… he wins the award for dumbest confession to a crime I can recall after writing 5319 articles.

As you probably guessed, police didn’t by his story any more than you or I, and arrested him on charges of felony rape of a child. He’s currently being held on $200,000 bond.

Authorities believe he is a flight risk and may be in the country illegally. He was previously deported to Mexico after previous, undisclosed criminal charges and has family living in Washington.

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