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PORTLAND, OR – Police have arrested a man accused of sexually abusing a chicken.

According to police, 27-year-old Joshua Woltman touched a chicken’s sex organs to get aroused, and also exposed himself in public.

Woltman is in jail on $25,000 bail, facing charges of sexual assault of an animal, public indecency, menacing and 2nd-degree disorderly conduct.

He’s also facing charges for violating the terms of his probation for possession of meth.

I couldn’t find anymore details on this incident, but he does have another court date on May 15th so maybe more details will be released then.

I’m not 100 percent positive, but I think this article means we have covered the sexual assault of almost every kind of domesticated animal or livestock known to man – chickens, cats, dogs, goats, donkeys, cows, horses – it never ends.

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  • WTFOMGLOL
  • Old Man Metal

    “…it never ends.”

    That’s what the chicken said.

  • sugarpie

    I didn’t realize chickens had sex organs. Probably because I’ve never looked a chicken with sexual desire before. Although, I have touched chicken breasts before.

  • You can kill it and eat it but don’t fuck it or you go to jail… ???? omg common sense is not that common..

  • Lol I’m just sitting here trying to imagine how that went down & how the police found out about it.

  • CatAtonic99

    Wonky in more ways than one

  • LuvsHorror

    Thats why the chicken crossed the road…

  • Ann Roh

    My exact thoughts. I cared for chickens and even saw them mate (rooster got into the hen yard on the farm), yet I still haven’t seen a chicken’s sex organs. I guess the feathers are good cover, and I didn’t want to know.

  • Hopefully his last name isn’t Sanders!

  • I really thought this would have happened in Washington State.

  • Old Man Metal

    Poor methhead, he’s all confused… he just wanted chicken fingers for lunch.

  • McDanel_1771

    The concept here is the difference in size, resulting in torturous abuse, kind of like why you don’t fuck a baby.

  • McDanel_1771

    We haven’t had a duck yet, have we? I think my favorite was the guy with a days old dead deer.

  • Stormclouds

    They’re not, exactly, sex organs. Most birds, with a few exceptions have cloaca’s. The eggs, the shit/waste and the sex all go on in the same hole. This guy… /Shivers

  • McDanel_1771

    The penis is up inside the cloaca, until it’s happy time. Testes are internal as well.

  • PurpleAnn

    Oh, my! I didn’t know that eggs came through the poop chute. Makes me not want that Denver omlette quite as much.

  • PurpleAnn

    Life imitates art. South Park did an episode about the police trying to catch a “Chicken Lover.”

  • PurpleAnn
  • mean birch

    He’s a chicken shit

  • mean birch

    So fucking gross and yet unbelievably funny!

  • keepalow

    Because chicken are sexy?

  • keepalow

    Are you saying youre okay with it?
    Youre just one step away from doing it. Yuck.

  • Valerie

    They do not have a penis. What they have looks like a pimple, They mate by using what’s called a cloacal kiss LOL. I know way too much about bird anatomy.

    Ducks, however, have a corkscrew shaped penis that can be up to nine inches long. I’ve lost a hen via duck rape.

  • Valerie

    The opening of the reproductive tract and the opening of the intestines are right at the cloaca, so it doesn’t really go through the poop chute. You are safe.

  • Valerie

    Grab ’em by the cloaca!

  • It’s the chicken lover!!!????????????

  • Damn and i just heard a joke about chickens hah

  • Celebrating National Masturbation Month

  • It’s National Sexual Assault Day here on Dreamin’ Demon. Welcome.

  • sweetd

    Animals can’t consent. This is a crime against nature. Many who sexually assault animald have a history of assaulting children as well. The vulnerability.

  • He sprained his right eye looking out for the farmer.

  • Tonya Meeks

  • ^^^^ That’s awesome! lol

  • The other white meat hahaha

  • Buffettgirl

    Just to clarify, this happened down in Medford, Oregon, NOT in Portland… We have enough freaks here as it is, we don’t need chicken fuckers here making it worse!

  • Taster’sChoice

    It’s the how the hell he got busted part I couldn’t figure out. He probably couldn’t see them coming. LMAO

  • Justyn Moreland
  • Inferus

    I know nuggets are tasty, but damn man there is a time and place!

  • Inferus

    When those eyes stop spinning do I win a prize?

  • Inferus

    Why? Chicken farming is biggest in Arkansas. If ever there was a place for this type of behavior…

  • Inferus

    Think he wanted some cock but got confused.

  • Inferus

    You don’t think they’re a tasty dish?

  • Inferus

    He wasn’t choking his chicken, only fondling.

  • Inferus

    They just marinating your dinner, hush now.

  • AlabamDeb

    Maybe he just read it wrong with them wonky eyes? Chicken fingers…Fingers ch….nevermind.

  • LucyJane

    Bok means no, dude.

  • LucyJane

    Then you really don’t want to know how one fixes an impacted egg.

  • Buffettgirl

    Gack… seriously man, GACK! (LOLOLOL!!!)

  • Buffettgirl

    From what I heard on the news on my way in to work this morning, his friends caught him and informed the police. He is now and forever more the dude that got off via chicken. You can’t live that shit down. EVER!

  • His bookmobile was parked in the back 😉

  • That’s chicken shit!

  • taffy550
  • To be honest, I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Normally from here, I read the most gut wrenching stories about depraved things people do to other people, mainly the children and it breaks my heart. So I was expecting the story to have a darker twist. So I’m sorry for the chicken lovers out there but at least it was JUST a chicken lol. I guess if you plan on eating that chicken, what you do with it before hand is none of my business lol

  • Buffettgirl

    Joshua, is that you??? Freaky fucking comment dude…

  • Josh

    Choking the chicken with a left hand thread.

  • dammitall23

    Side eye for the side chick.

  • itsknotme

    Really Dude, the chicken said “cluck, cluck, cluck” not “F…” Oh, forget it.

  • Who came first…the chicken or that thing?

  • Ann Roh

    You ROCK!!! LMAO

  • Where do these worthless, pathetic POS come from? Kill them. Put them out of their misery!! Poor chicken!

  • Sex organs? Chickens dont have sex organs. They have a cloaca.
    How the fuck did this guy..oh wait…I see he also was charged with having meth. Forget it. Carry on.

  • I’m like WTFUCK! I’ve heard of dogs, cats, even goats, unfortunately! But a chicken…that’s a new level of disgusting!

  • Matt Stillwell

  • There’s a lot of research that starting to come around suggesting people who abuse animals may also be predisosition to abuse children…

  • Fucking a chicken literally rips up it’s insides and it dies slowly and in incredible pain. Most people who intend to eat chickens don’t torture them :/

  • Tim Huberd

  • He’s just trying to teach people to read!

  • Valkyrie Ziege

    ; W.W.K.S.S. = What Would Colonel Sanders Say?

  • Sejanus

    He loves the cock!

  • This was a South Park episode.

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  • TexasStacy

    I could be wrong but aren’t the glands located on each side of the neck? So the dude was arrested for petting a chicken?

  • Diva of Destruction

    Is the chicken alright? I hope counseling was made available.

  • He just wanted the cock

  • Elizabeth McCarthy

    But they have no nipples.

  • Elizabeth McCarthy

    I loved Chicken Lady. “WHAT HAVE YEW DUNNN?????”

  • Elizabeth McCarthy

    The first thing that went through my mind was IF he’s had sex with any women, what are they thinking now? And will they ever have poultry for dinner again? *shudder*

  • PurpleAnn

    So that’s why Donald Duck never wore pants.

  • Ramonathegreat

    IT’S A REAL LIFE GONZO THE MUPPET!!
    Look at his face… He’s like “nooooooo Camillaaaaaaaa!!! I’ll wait for you!”

  • PurpleAnn

    I kinda do. I am imagining all sorts of cartoony scenarios. Squeeze the chicken until the egg cracks? (joking, of course)

  • link07

    I would imagine that if he were confident enought to convince a legal human to bed he wouldn’t be in the henhouse.

  • Stormclouds

    To quote ‘

    Submerge her lower body and vent in warm water with some Epsom salts for about 20 minutes, gently rubbing her abdomen. Remove
    her gently from the bath and towel dry her, blotting her feathers
    carefully. If it’s winter or there’s any draft, dry her off with a hair
    dryer set on low heat.’

  • PurpleAnn

    A chicken bath and tummy rub sounds a lot more gentle that what I was imagining.

  • Ramonathegreat

    Yeah, you have a point. No chicken would “consent” to what chickens have to go through in a factory farm. That doesn’t mean fucking a chicken is ok. People just don’t like to think about the fact that much of their food is effectively tortured before they eat it. Hanging a chicken rapist is just way more fulfilling.

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  • captaingrumpy

    I was in the Navy many moons ago and I met one fellow from rural Australia. His story was that his father made him join the Navy as he was killing too many chickens by having sex with them. From what I saw of his character and the way he talked , I believe it. I also saw this chap try to mount a Water Buffalo in a rice paddy in Vietnam for a bet. He won a tidy sum but the Vietnamese farmer was not happy he had to stop ploughing the paddy.

  • LucyJane

    Stormcluds’ response was a lot more gentle, but if that doesn’t work, you have to manually break the egg inside the hen (not by squeezing- you have to stick a finger up there) and scoop out the broken egg. It’s nasty but the condition is fatal if not resolved. Yes, I’ve done this.

  • Inferus

    But they have juicy breasts!

  • Inferus

    Better stop eating that jerked chicken then.

  • Inferus

    Maybe a feather floating through town like Forrest Gump.

  • Inferus
  • ThrillHouse

    As stated in the article, we see a lot of ppl get in trouble for fucking animals on this site. Even if the animal is fucking YOU, its still wrong on the grounds its a moral obligation to not take advantage of those less mentally developed than you. Getting an animal to have sex with you is pretty much taking sexual advantage of a child or a mentally handicapped person as they don’t have the capacity to understand what is happening. Fucking something or someone weaker less mentally developed as you is flat out rape. There is no consensual consent involved either way, and in a case like this its sexual torture usually resulting in death, which yes, we do horrible things to chickens to eat them, but it can be argued killing a chicken to eat it is far less disturbing because the act of killing hold no pleasure – its a means to justify an end. Killing a chicken for fun or sex (which is also basically, fun) is red flag that something is wrong with a person as killing shouldnt be a fun or pleasurable act.

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  • BLRII

    I bet there are no molestations of cats. Cats would fight back. Then again, it’s not clear that cats are truly domesticated animals. How does a person find a chicken’s sex organs? Do you think he did a google search for diagrams? And what about a chicken is sexually appealing to a man? Do its feathers make him think of a feather boa, burlesque, stripping, therefore sex? Does its beak make him think of “peck” and therefore “pecker?” Someone needs to interview this man.

  • BLRII

    Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from this pervert.

  • James Hansen

    dude has a wicked strabismus….

  • Inferus

    A pecker for a pecker.

  • Inferus

    THAT’S why duck eggs are SOOOOO much better.

  • Colonel Sanders is not amused.

  • Ralph Snart

    1st thought in my head was that scene from Rob Zombies The Devils Rejects where they go out to get some chickens to BBQ and are asked about weather or not they were “chicken fuckers”. Who knew it was a real thing? Not I it seem’s.

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  • DaveL

    Reason #23 why it sucks to be a hen…

  • DaveL

    I’ve lost a hen via duck rape.

    Reason #24 why it sucks to be a hen…

  • Allen Stepp

    Honestly is the anal sex humans do any better?

  • LucyJane

    Wasn’t very much fun being me at that time, either.

  • He looks like he’s 1/2 chicken …
    Just look at the face !

  • Robin Wise

    He couldn’t do sexual stuff to his own chicken?

  • Jake88

    Assaulting chickens is a white crime. I can own that as much as it pains me. It’s true. White people are a bunch of sick, sex crazed individuals. I however, believe in smashing stereotypes to pieces! Dis white boy over here prefers his chicken nuggets to be made up of 100 percent non-fondled innocent breast meat.

    It just feels that much worse when something is raped AND murdered… ya know?

  • salepo

    Kind of what I thought.I owned chickens and I’m not sure where there naughty bits are located.

  • Aleks Storlid

    Dudes raping chickens isn’t unheard of on certain niche websites. I just know.

  • Matt Esquire

    Finger lickin’ good.