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Michael HensenDAYTON, OH – Police arrested Michael Henson Tuesday night after the 35-year-old was allegedly caught having sex with a parked van.

According to reports,police were called around 8:00 p.m. on a report of a man with his pants down swinging from a stop sign.

When police arrived on the scene, they found an intoxicated Henson walking down the street wearing nothing but black gym shorts and shoes.

After taking him into custody, they talked with the woman who called police. She told them that she watched Henson pull down his pants and place his junk into the front grill of a parked van across the street.

The woman said she called 911 after Henson finished raping the van and passed out in a nearby yard.

Henson was arrested and charged with public indecency. He is currently being held in the Montgomery County jail on $2,500 bond.

Henson joins a long list of men featured on Dreamin’ Demon who’ve gotten into trouble for having sex with inanimate objects, including dead people, patio furniture, a stuffed animal inside Walmart, a Jesus statue, a Teddy bear, cow shit, swiss cheese, a beer mug and — my personal favorite — a dead deer.

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Comments


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  • And he would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for that pesky witness!

  • sugarpie

    Did she look like this? I hope she was at least hot and not a dodge caravan.

  • “What you in for?”
    “fucked a van”

  • I hate killjoys ! Lol.

  • He is only 35? ????

  • At least it wasnt a kid

  • Allison Aragon

  • It was vantastic.

  • Happy Entrails

    “Like a princess she was standing still,
    Moonlight dancing off her grille,
    dropped trou, took her against her will,
    I made love to my Chevy van
    And that’s all right with me” – Sammy Johns, 1973.

  • Naughty Van.

  • dammitall23

    Or more accurately: “…I made love to *your* Chevy van, and that’s all right with me.”
    Not enough car wash in the world to erase the thought of that fool having his way with your ride, boy.

  • Happy Entrails

    That kinda turns me on…brb, I’m gonna go see what’s in the parking lot.

  • Happy Entrails

    Amended to be more specific. I hope Sammy Johns approves.

  • WTFOMGLOL

    It’s a clown car, not a vagina!!

  • WTFOMGLOL

    It’s a real pussy wagon!

  • WTFOMGLOL

    I must haz this van.

  • Squid Kicker

    I hope he bought her a nice full tank of hi octane before shaggin’ the wagon.

  • Texas Ranger

    First thought…Cheech and Chong.

  • Gives new meaning to the term, “Pimp my ride”.

  • lol..Just ..why?

  • First rough draft of article “sex in a parked van” oh that’s not too bad.. Rereads police report.. “Ohh, TO a parked van”..

  • You are not David Hasselhoff!

  • Dre Mosley

    As the saying goes, “If it’s not Florida, it’s usually Ohio.”

  • How? Where did he put his…? I am so confused. I guess it’s true that some people will f*** anything!

  • Lena60

    lmao Sugarpie.

  • Jeania

    LOL she waited til ‘after’ he finished?? lmao dear lord… I have a feelin she liked the entertainment, but when he passed out, he had to go. lol maybe she wasn’t finished yet? ^^ How dare he stop… lol!

  • LynnKayee

    WHAM! BAM! THANK YOU VAN.

  • He is an angry depressed Little prick who violated car exhaust pipes. But shit on yourshit on your hold the phone gentlemen! Women today are just no good stuck up bitches, why is that ladies? With all these stuck up bitches? That is why 1 in 4 women are raped daily, or given a Mexican Rollup, an act occurring during or immediately after sexual intercourse, whereby you shit on your prone partner, quickly roll them up in the shit slathered blanket and preferably toss the blanket wrapped person down a flight of stairs or out the front door.

  • Squid Kicker

    I’m not sure what message you’re attempting to convey, but you have my erection’s attention.

  • WTFOMGLOL

    :

  • Sara

    Well, I think you answered your own question there. Having a 1 in 4 chance of being raped or slathered in excrement after intercourse is enough to make anyone a stuck up bitch.

  • CT

    Is yourshit supposed to be one or two words?

  • Sara

    Is anyone else wondering why the woman waited until after he was done having his way with the van to call the police? Don’t get me wrong, I probably wouldn’t have been all Johnny on the spot, either. I’d be too busy hyperventilating from laughter. I like the expression in his mugshot. It seems to say, “yep. I did that. Fun times.”

  • Sara

    You know what they say about some guys…when they’re drunk, everything looks like a vagina.

  • JohnQknowitall

    Funny… Just the other day I was read about a man in Ohio who is a serial rapist of pool rafts.

  • CT

    Still laughing over this comment.

  • mean birch

    Winner!!!!!

  • SLJintheBurg

    I guess all of his cousins were otherwise engaged. Ugh! Look at that mug!

  • jansav

    somehow there has to a “pimp my ride” joke but I just can’t find it.

  • 35??? Sure hes not 55?

  • esmerald 2006

    I know, I’ve heard a lot of stories. Lol

  • Sara

    Thanks! I’m part of that statistic of “women who have been raped,” and I figured that I could be outraged and indignant by the idea that I might have deserved it by being a stuck up bitch, or I could make fun of the ridiculous notion. I chose to make fun, and, as a bonus, I got to use the word “excrement” while doing so. (I don’t know why, but I’ve always found that word funny.) That it made you laugh makes it even better! Win-win.

  • Inferus

    Guess he was trying to seduce the van into giving his drunk ass a ride home.

  • Inferus

    Shag carpeting or smooth leather interior?

  • Inferus

    But some vaginas pop out enough gremlins they are literal clown cars.

  • Inferus

    Was the alarm going off cries of pleasure or distress?

  • Manatee

    Gives new meaning to the phrase ‘all up in my grill’ …

  • Ann Stone

    It’s a van, it’s an inanimate object (unlike other animals) he can fuck it if he wants to. So many more horrific choices. Isn’t this like the second guy fucking a car thing I’ve read lately? Better a car than a non human animal, child or woman, eh?

    Men, sheesh! Get that shit under control! Only willing participants are interested in your damn dick. GET IT!

  • McDanel_1771

    I would have watched in complete disbelief, but unlike her, I might have shot some video. For proof of course.

  • Sejanus

    Slam his dick in a car door til it falls off

  • salepo

    My favorite comment

  • salepo

    He looks so pleased with himself.

  • salepo

    High five!

  • sweetd

    He looks like an uglier Sean Penn

  • scotsims

    Stop talking about the Duggars, if they hear you they might stop by for a visit.

  • scotsims

    Too bad it wasn’t something like a F-150.

    Then he could say he fucked a truck.

  • Duane Aho

    Wow , spent a few years in Miamisburg , now I know why everyone always said to avoid Dayton lol.

  • Inferus

    Well, they are into deviant sexual lifestyles. “Hand of Christ all over!”

  • Josh

    Force fed the motor.