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Man Accused Of Assaulting Girlfriend, Raccoon

August 4, 2014 at 4:37 am by  

David TapiaBallard, UT — After his current girlfriend accused him of calling her by his ex-wife’s name, David Tapia, 41, apparently pitched a fit and assaulted the woman and her pet raccoon.

The victim, upset over the slip, started arguing with Tapia. The argument escalated, at which point Tapia allegedly grabbed the woman by the arms and threw her into a wall in the home they shared.

At some point during the commotion, the woman’s pet raccoon hissed at Tapia, and he reportedly responded by grabbing the critter by its collar and tossing it into another room, where it hit a wall.

And that, my friends, is why I call all of my men “babe.” No confusion, no slips. Ever.

The woman was eventually able to leave the home, went to her ex-husband’s motor home and was taken to the emergency room. She later told police she had suffered at least two broken ribs. No word on the condition of the raccoon, though.

Tapia was arrested July 21 and booked into the Uintah County Jail on charges of assault and animal cruelty.

I guess it is important to note that you are allowed to keep a raccoon as a pet in the state of Utah if you have a permit. A coyote, too, if you so desire.

PS… I want a pet raccoon, please.

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  • Taster’sChoice

    Thought this was interesting..
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNNnQ8xzM9k

  • davisandrew884

    my friend’s step-mother makes $73 every hour on the computer. She has been out of a job for 7 months but last month her pay was $7220 just working on the computer for a few hours. Read more on this web sitePAYRAP.COM………………………….

  • King A sshole

    Guardians of the Galaxy (great movie btw) just came out, and people are already buying pet raccoons. Me, I want a walking tree.

  • LuvsHorror

    At first I thought you said wanking tree.

  • CT

    Jaded, I have a raccoon that resides in my back yard (to be fair I think he splits his time between me and two other neighbors) — he is all yours. I know very little about him other than the fact he likes carrots and shits in my yard. He is a bit on the mange looking side — but you are current with your rabies shots, right? Let me know and I will be on this right away.

  • Alexander Pataki

    Raccoons are at least as smart as dogs, there’s a family of them that lives in the woods by my house, and they even wash their food off at this little creek sometimes! Super-cute!

  • BubblesinGriffinGA

    There’s a raccoon that comes up at night and eats the leftover cat food I leave on the porch table, he’s very clean, eats with his tiny little hands, and has, at some point, lost half of his tail. He lets me get within 2 feet before he takes off, so I guess I kinda have a pet raccoon… screw that guy for beating his girlfriend and her raccoon though

  • Lena60

    Was this guy related to the raccoon?

  • Buffettgirl

    What do you get when you mix a slip of the tongue from your current BF, a pet raccoon and your ex-husband’ motor home? Apparently a melee and a couple of broken ribs… Peeps be cray cray!

  • NY_Mommy

    I was terrorized by racoons at work for years until a couple of months ago. They knew how to open the fridge. They ate 2 of my philly cheese steak subs. Pulled all the mushrooms out of 1 of them. We would have to block the fridge with something heavy. Little fuckers kept having babies. They were cute as hell until the grew up and became terrors also. They built a nest in the wall that was nasty. They always knocked the garbage cans over. Smart as hell too. Kept getting the food out of traps without setting them off. Finally had to call a wildlife trapper to come get them out!

  • Lena60

    pssst! hey Phil, we will just tell her that the raccoons ate her philly cheese steak subs….twice! * wink, wink*

  • thebossessecretary

    I’m with you, Jaded. Always call your significant other “baby” “honey” or “sweetheart”. Because there’s nothing worse than shouting out your ex-husband’s name during that moment of glory in the bedroom. It’s a real buzz-kill for your current mate. And it guarantees you’ll fight like hell for weeks.

  • Stacy

    I had a pet raccoon years ago. They are very smart and can be protective and aggressive. Train them to a cat box and teach them things like dogs tricks. Very smart lil critters. BUT…I don’t recommend getting one. Mine was a rescued baby with a broken leg that couldn’t be returned to the wild or it would’ve died. He lived along time since he had proper vet care and so on. HIGH vet bills IF you can find a vet to handle one. They get into EVERYTHING like a 4 year old kid. And keeping them in cages is just wrong. He had his own room I converted to a nature habitat so when I wasn’t home, he was in his room playing in trees and all that fun stuff. Very expensive critters to keep.

  • Kim Graves

    I thought the headline said “assaults gf with raccoon”

  • Kim Graves

    Are you seriously spamming the demon?

  • Kim Graves

    All i can think of is the little girl that had her face eaten by the raccoon

  • jansav

    I like how she gets mad at him for calling her by his ex’s name and then she runs to her ex for shelter comfort and probably a little somethin’ somethin’. Poor Racoon…stupid frkn people.

  • Texas Ranger

    You sure the coons didn’t take your checkbook and write some checks, or steal your cigarette lighter. Maybe siphoned some gas outta your car? Maybe even Drunk-Dialed the Ex?

  • Texas Ranger

    Yeahhh…Exactly what I thought.

  • t0ofIy

    Raccoons are tough as hell I am sure it’s fine.

  • Texas Ranger

    I refuse to learn any of their names. I never have that problem. “You!” and “Hey!” are universal.

  • t0ofIy

    That’s cool. I almost got a pet skunk. Apparently you can teach them to use a cat box as well. Supposedly they have similar personalities as cats. Oh and you can get them an operation to remove their scent gland so you don’t get sprayed. But skunks as pets aren’t legal in all states so it might not be an option for everyone. anyways that’s all.

  • t0ofIy

    bungee cords are the answer.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    Someday, perhaps….
    A girl can dream.

  • Kim Graves

    Lol

    Beverly graves

  • Stacy

    Yes all that is true but they seem more like dogs to me than cats. Very rough players. You can de-scent a skunk but it will ALWAYS stink. It’s just in their system. You can never get rid of that musk. Like a ferret only about 100% worse! Hahaha. They are awesome animals though, just better in the wild than in captivity.

  • Karen Eileen

    Let me get this straight….he beat HER up because HE called her by his ex’s name? Sounds like MY ex. He tried to kill me by rolling my arm up in his car window and started to drag me down the road until I broke the window because he was disciplined at work for sexual harassment when he pulled down a co-worker’s shorts.

  • JohnQknowitall

    Had to read that opening paragraph twice… thinking he was pissed about being called HER ex’s name… There is never a good reason to assault another person (just leave first), but she must have been hatefully relentless in bitching about that faux pas (what a nicely pretentious term). Who wants to bet these two love birds are back together before the weekend if not already? This type of anger has to mean they love each other or they wouldn’t care. Right?

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/ Athena

    I have encountered a computing error. The avatar and the last statement should not exist in the same space. And, yet, no detectable tear in spacetime.

    So, I guess it’s okay?

  • http://www.thesite.org/ happy

    I’m the cream of the crop, I rise to the top
    I’ll never eat a pig, but I eat pig slop
    I’ll swing a chainsaw through his brains and all
    Veins and jaws, sip it all through a straw!

  • Sejanus

    Well isn’t he Captain Amazeballs.
    I feel sorriest for the raccoon in this one.
    It evidently didn’t have an ex to run to.
    Hope it trashed the shit out of the place after everyone was gone.
    Maybe had some raccoon buddies in.
    Upended some garbage, went through personal papers, shat on the fine dinnerware and clawed through some expensive tapestries.
    Then once all was said and done it lit out in the BMW with the leather interior to tear up the town with the neighbours bad daughter getting her pregnant and leaving vid…..whoa wait..I got a tad carried away there.
    Aww fuck em.

  • Chinchillazilla

    Dunno why you’d assume she was being “hatefully relentless” when guys like this are pretty much known for going from 0 to woman-punching in two seconds flat.

  • rohl

    I’ve only seen one in the “wild” (if you count my apartment complex dog park as the wild). It was just chillin’ on the fence, and I almost brushed up against it. It was one of the coolest things I have ever seen!

  • rohl

    I have to agree with you there (men who hit women tend to have a hair-line trigger), learned from the measly experience with the three men in my life who have hit me. The first one ended up with a knife to his throat, the second ended up on the ground with my foot on his throat, and the third got a broken nose from a frying pan to the face. Guys who hit women (and it is a small minority of men) tend to avoid me, but it might be because of the way I have dealt with past threats.

  • Vesper Bond

    I too would love a raccoon and am worried about the state of the raccoon. I hope the raccoon lives. :D

  • JohnQknowitall

    I guess I had to read it twice because most guys are not like “this.” The whole story is kind of weird and she ends up at her ex husband’s trailer? Maybe its just me and the circles I run in.

  • JohnQknowitall

    PLEASE DO NOT BE OFFENDED, but even if you can defend yourself there is something wrong if you keep dating violent people (male or female, people who injure others). You might want to get help with your ‘check off list’ because the next guy might be meaner and smarter and the end not so good. Again no offense, but you really need to be careful for your sake and your loved ones.

  • salepo

    You definitely have to be prepared to have one and raise it right.We had one named George and he was awesome!

  • Alexander Pataki

    Haha- I may look like a scary goth guy, but woodland critters just melt my black, carroded heart!

  • rohl

    No offense taken, and the concern shows you are a caring and compassionate person. Only one of those men was someone I dated, and he was my first boyfriend (#2 on the list, a great life lesson in the kind of men to avoid on my first time at bat, and one mistake I have never and will never make again). One was my step-father (#1 on the list and the one that a therapist zeroed in on when I was trying to learn a better way to live), and the other was my friend’s boyfriend who had hit her, so I told him to leave my home (#3 on the list, and I’m so happy she got away from him). I was smaller and perceived as weaker by all three, but I was smarter, faster, and luckier than them in those moments (however the fact that I turned myself from a victim into an aggressor, just as violent and angry as the people I was fighting, sometimes keeps me up at night).

  • http://batman-news.com Stanley_Ipkiss

    Don’t let it keep you up, when your defending yourself the best plan of action is to do as much damage as possible in the shortest time possible. Just make sure the fucker isn’t getting up again within the next 10 mins or so. Never feel guilty about seriously hurting someone who was trying to hurt you or a loved one.

  • Shade

    James Franco??

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/ Athena

    Ha!

  • Delirious Devil

    He has crazy eyes big time.

  • http://www.biggestlittlesumo.com/ OptimusPrimate

    Racoons are the devil and super smart. The same family of racoons that live in the neighborhood storm drains and kills the neighborhood chickens has taught themselves to use the crosswalks including waiting for the walk/don’t walk signals to change.

  • deathbycold

    So at a glance, I thought the title was saying that a guy assaulted his girlfriend whose a raccoon. I swear I’m not on drugs.