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wood chipperDAVIE, FL – It’s been awhile since we’ve reported on a wood chipper death, but a man was killed yesterday afternoon after being pulled through one.

At around 4:15 p.m., the landscaper was pulled through a wood chipper as he and two co-workers cleared debris in a residential neighborhood. One resident described seeing one of the workers running down the street after the incident.

“He was obviously extremely distraught, yelling and flailing his arms around, screaming to another co-worker at a nearby fence and collapsed against it, his knees buckled,” said Cheryl Appel.

Police were called but there was little they could do as the poor bastard that goes through one of these machines completely, gets to experience “total morselization.”

“I’ve been in police work 20 years. I’ve never seen anything like this,” said Capt. Dale Engle with Davie police. “It was a gruesome scene.” Police have not officially identified the man and ave not released the name of the man’s employer because family members had not yet been notified.

We’ve reported on people dying inside industrial dough mixers, being pulled into asphalt grinders, cooking to death in industrial tuna steamers and industrial dryers, dying from exploding beer kegs,  suffocating in a manure pits or a pile of pinto beans, getting crushed in industrial paper rolling machines, drowning in a vat of boiling chocolate, and falling into industrial meat grinders – but I would take any of those deaths over being pulled feet-first through a goddamn wood chipper.

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  • Taster’sChoice

    I missed the boiling chocolate vat one. Maybe if I have time later. But I have to agree. The pain this would cause would be seemingly immense albeit brief.. I’m sure his coworker was in shock and probably won’t ever forget yesterday.

  • Vincents_Sin

    I was a bit distraught reading this until the last line… How do you manage to get pulled feet first into a wood chipper? If such is the case, then it sounds like an unsafe practice taking place. Nonetheless, it’s a tragic moment and I hope the best for everyone it affects.

  • CT

    Who wood have thought this could happen? Personally, I plan to go out in a fashion similar to George, Duke of Clarence.

    RIP, wood chipper guy.

  • King A sshole

    Vat of boiling chocolate? Now that’s going out in style!
    How the hell can you go into a wood chipper feet first? Either he was standing on it, while it was on, (which would make him a Darwin Award candidate). Or someone forced him into it.

  • Vesper B

    Ah, I knew there was I reason I had a mad crush on you, CT! You’re speaking my language. :D
    /wrote my thesis on the Wars of the Roses and Shax’s first tetralogy. I <3 Clarence

  • Vesper B

    Good Lord! This is a terrible situation all around. I can’t imagine the nightmares the co-worker must be faced with after witnessing this horribly traumatic event. The woodchipper dude’s screams must have been overwhelming. I can’t imagine the trauma.

    Also, not to sound too flippant: I’m totally stealing total morselization. I need to figure out how to incorporate it into my daily language.

  • itsknotme

    Note to self: Buy Wood Chipper that has the Emergency Shut Off Switch Inside the Chipper.

  • Stormclouds

    … as terrible deaths go, that one sounds particularly horrific. D=

    Anyone else think the thing sucked in a loose shoelace or something like that?

  • Texas Ranger

    Morbid,
    Is Total Morselization a slip of the tongue caused by Mr. Morse back in 2005? Or is it an actual way to die?

  • CT

    Very nice. I didn’t think my reference would be recognized by many.

  • MrTwoPlums

    Only thing I can think of is that he was trying to stomp a pile of brush down or something. I’ve worked with some industrial chippers before. If you’re taught properly, work responsibly and the machine has up to date safety features, this sorta thing should be all but impossible.

  • Buffettgirl

    Death by wine eh?

  • Buffettgirl

    It’d be easier if you do a lot of things with chocolate chips… just sayin”!

  • Buffettgirl

    This is why I don’t do landscaping…

  • tkaz

    I don’t understand the logistics of this!!!!!

    If your hand is caught, once it’s pulverized you could pull away, yes??? Even without a hand?
    If your shirt is caught, you could rip that fucker off! Right??
    Were his co-workers just watching? Did they try to help!??

    Aaagh!!!

  • Gamedame

    Now I can’t stop picturing what it must have looked like with the gore propelling out of the chute, into whatever receptacle it was aimed for. This, my friends, is that of which nightmares are born.

  • Texas Ranger

    Ever seen the movie “Fargo”?

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

    Too clarify that last sentence; I have no idea how this poor sob went in the chipper. I was just saying I would choose the other deaths over a feet-first into a wood chipper.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

    Also, if you are truly curious as to what a body looks like after going through a wood chipper, the images are out there and it’s exactly what you’d expect..

  • LuvsHorror

    Just watch Tucker And Dale vs Evil. Funny as hell movie. Kid runs headfirst into a chipper.

  • sativagrl

    The ones I saw weren’t as pulverized as I expected.

  • sativagrl

    They always wake me up with their loud machines so I kind of hate them.

  • sativagrl

    I think the word is morcellation

  • Heather_Habilatory

    Ahhh the outdoors. The fresh air, the birds singing, the smell of freshly cut…. landscaper?

    Yep. I’m an indoors kind of kitten. I like my couch.

  • Buffettgirl

    My asshat brother is a landscape architect, I hate them just for letting him into their club! Fucker shouldn’t be made to feel a part of ANYTHING!

    But yeah, they are loud and annoying at 7:56 in the morning when they KNOW that the neighborhood ordinance says 9:00 am! ;-)

  • Buffettgirl

    Thanks, but just no, I’m NOT going there!

  • Peggy Storer

    Oh… I gotta see that Morbid!

  • Peggy Storer

    I agree.. I actually thought it would be worse. I expected more of a ground up beef look. i

  • Ursula Pine

    to continue in the spirit of irreverent disrespect, would that be normal crematorium or pellet stove?

  • itsknotme

    If his first name was Charles, would his remains look more like Ground Chuck?

  • starry1

    Raw hamburger?

  • starry1

    One of my all time favs.

  • Tenbux

    Body parts don’t just detach at joints that easily. You’ve got all sorts of meat and muscle and boney bits all held together, and all the chipper needs to pull the next part in is just to get a tiny little grip or movement toward the next part (finger->hand->wrist->lower arm->upper arm->torso->head). They’re specifically designed to pull objects inward as they chip them.

    Then there’s the issue of pain. Ever been smashed in the nose really hard? That’ll stun just about anybody. Then you’ve got panic, which shuts logic off entirely for most people. You’ll wind up trying to pull back on instinct, and an industrial wood chipped is going to win the contest of strength every time.

    Fun activity: Grab the leg of a pair of jeans and try to tear them. Good jeans, not some shitty decades old pair of jeans. You’re not going to successfully tear the leg off those pants. In any case, if your shirt or pants are being grabbed by a chipper, your body is already partially in the machine.

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    Morcellators are used in robotic surgeries. The only reason I know this is because of late-nite television ads from the ambulance-chasers…

  • sativagrl

    If cops need counselors for this, how come I can look up the pics with no problem lol?

  • sativagrl

    Interesting

  • VenusDoom3

    “HAAAAAAAA”
    That’s the sound that just came out of my mouth.

  • VenusDoom3

    I prefer my landscapers julienned, not minced.

  • tkaz

    I just read everything you wrote & it made me sweat. But thanks!

  • mean birch

    Lauren has nice boobies

  • mean birch

    Link?

  • Sejanus

    Horrible news is always nicer when a reporter with a nice rack is doing it….
    Thanks Lauren to you and your two girls.

    As for the horror of the story….
    GGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    OK now to the practical side of things…..
    Can we start using wood chippers on child abusers?
    Cuz honestly…it just seems right somehow.

  • Whisper Wing

    Hernan Gutierrez
    A man who was killed by a wood chipper Monday afternoon in Davie has been identified.
    Davie police identified the victim Tuesday as Hernan Gutierrez, 42.
    […]
    Gutierrez was a day laborer for Tree Tech Inc
    […]
    http://www.local10.com/news/man-killed-by-wood-chipper-identified/26638108

  • sativagrl

    Yeah let’s recycle them and use them as mulch or something.

  • Leasha

    I just don’t understand how someone gets “pulled” into a giant wood chipper. Hang on to the branches for too long?

  • D. Scott Whitaker

    Tree Tech… this out-fit has made my list of undesirable employers…

  • AD Fkin Ate

    Poor fucker… I sympathize with landscapers/Odd end jobs/Construction/Felon work.. Sometimes you just don’t get paid enough to go tragically in a wood chipper… But hey at least if he was married this was a much faster death

  • Buffettgirl

    I would imagine being on scene would be horrific. Photos give you distance… All i know for sure is I’m NOT gonna look!

  • Neuroprncss

    Oh finally a local one. Happened down the street from us. Such a horrible way to go..

  • Wildheart

    As well as the excellent TV show.

  • Miss momma

    Im just wondering why no one unplugged the chipper from the generator ? unless it happened so fast , do you think he went through it ? I just can’t imagine that it wouldnt stop working halfway through …

  • Gamedame

    Thankfully, no. I don’t do movies.

  • Texas Ranger

    Go Malvo!

  • t3chsupport

    Panic?

  • Wildheart

    That Billy Bob is a shit-stirrer to end all shit-stirrers!

  • Texas Ranger

    Yeah, he’s a badass. He makes the show.