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Gabriel GarciaLAS CRUCES, NM – I totally missed this story last week but what the hell – I like it. Gabriel Garcia is facing a slew of serious charges after the woman he allegedly held against her will was able to escape after his pit bull turned on him.

The 26-year-old woman told police she met Garcia at a party where he stole her car keys. He later messaged her via Facebook about returning the keys and the two arranged a time to meet.

Garcia picked the woman up, purchased some alcohol and took her to his home. When the woman asked for her keys and a ride back home, Garcia refused to do either and began making sexual advances towards her. That’s when she called 911.

When Garcia realized she was on the phone with 911, he pushed her down a flight of stairs before siccing his pit bull on the woman. But instead of attacking the woman, the dog attacked Garcia, biting him in the upper arm.

Now extremely angry, Garcia grabbed a hammer and dragged the woman into his bedroom by her hair. He threatened to kill her with a rifle if she told anyone about the incident. The woman was able to escape after Garcia’s father returned home, and make a second call to 911.

Garcia was arrested and charged with one count of second-degree kidnapping, two counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and battery. He was taken to jail on a $25,000 secured bond after being evaluated at the hospital for the dog bite on his arm.

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  • Vesper B

    I live near Las Cruces. I want to go save the dog because I’m willing to bet this shit stain is going to hurt him.

    I do wish the dog would’ve bitten his arm off.

  • CT

    It must be able to smell dumb ass. Who’s a good doggie?

  • tkaz

    This was all very caveman-like of him. You love me or I hurt you as I drag you to my man cave.

    Whatever, I’m glad the pit bull was either stupid or liked the woman better than him.

  • Lena60

    See even the pitbull( bitbull), knew this guy was garbage.Glad the dog bit his useless ass.Foolish of the girl to go alone to retrieve her car keys though.

  • jansav

    best pit bull story ever

  • Buffettgirl

    Best Doggy EVER! Best laugh of the day so far too! =D

  • itsknotme

    Guess who’s wearing his best wife beater?

  • NY_Mommy

    What a fucking loser! Has to steal car keys to try and get some action. When that doesn’t work he gets all violent. Gets attacked by his own fucking dog. Then the plot twist, the whole situation gets busted up by his DAD! Really dude?

  • AD Fkin Ate

    we think alike lol

  • t0ofIy

    sounds like prison is a good place for this guy to be.

  • thinkaboutit75

    man’s best friend..just maybe not the owner…good doggy

  • AD Fkin Ate

    i wonder if the pit bit his pit

  • sativagrl

    Damn someone was really desperate for a date huh, dad must be proud that a dog is smarter than his son.

  • Texas Ranger

    Hmmm. Pit bull bit the owner probably because a helpless newborn baby wasn’t handy.

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    Seeing how desperate shit-for-brains was for a date, the dog rightly confused Gabriel for a helpless newborn…

  • newstarshipsmell

    I was just a little disappointed when I read the writeup, and realized that the headline misled me into assuming the pit bull’s attack provided the necessary distraction for the woman to make her escape. But we can’t have everything in this world. Still, pretty fucking hilarious.
    ETA: And I’m sure Morbid wrote the headline on purpose that way, chuckling to himself over all the mildly disappointed clickthroughs.

  • mean birch


  • Texas Ranger

    No kiddin! I never steal car their keys, I steal their shoes… That tends to slow them down considerably, which makes them easier to catch.

  • t0ofIy

    seldom am I reading a story on DD about a pit bull where I’m thinking to myself “good dog.” they tend to make the news more for their aggressiveness.

  • JohnQknowitall

    You got him pegged. Great summation!!! lol

  • JohnQknowitall

    Stupid and violent. Like master, like dog.

  • Dilligaff-y

    I do love a happy ending.

  • Melissa Stopka

    Fucking idiot!

  • Heather_Habilatory

    That dog was like,. FUCK IT. this is my outta this asshole’s house!

  • Sejanus

    Too bad the dog didnt maul the guy to death or chew off his genitals and put an end to his bs forever.
    Good news for the girl though.
    I hope this dick gets whats coming to him.

  • Renee Waugh

    Good Dog!!!!

  • ciecheesemeister

    I think the dog could sense that the guy was trying to do something bad and that it had no reason to attack the woman. I’m worried for the dog. I hope it isn’t put down, or he doesn’t kill it.

  • Glad this ended well for the woman and this asshole locked up but how many red flags did this chick need before she realised something was wrong. He could have just showed up and handed her the keys straight away, he didnt so thats red flag number one. He instead convinced her into the car and took her to a liquor store, that would be red flag number two. He then proceeds to drive her back to his/his dads place, red flag number 3. Thats when she decided to ask for her keys? really?

  • Nice, a pit bull attacked a person who deserved it for a change!

  • Buffettgirl

    Preach on Brother-Man! 😉

  • ShelbySP

    Stealing the shoes a woman wore to a party just makes her faster. We never leave in the shoes we came in, especially when there’s alcohol to be had.

  • sativagrl

    They should fill a room with them at the prison for people like this guy. They won’t even have to buy dog food.

  • Andrea Pizzuto

    Seems like a catch. Lives with dad, no game and even dogs hate him… Panties are dropping worldwide.

  • t3chsupport

    Dogs dislike conflict and instability. If the pack leader is obviously off their rocker, they know it’s time for them to lead.

  • Rachel Ann

    How the fuck you gonna attack a bitch and you living at your Daddy house? What did you think he was gonna see the chick beat to shit and restrained and want to join in on the mayhem? Some people are just missing something crucial in their psyche I tell ya!

  • Eyam Ova-Urazis

    When it said “after Garcia’s father returned home”, it made more sense. This is the shit that happens to people when they’re too sad/lazy/stupid to move out of their parents home.