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Cameo CrispiNaples, UT — A 31-year-old woman has been arrested after allegedly attempting to burn down her ex-boyfriend’s home by intentionally leaving a pound of bacon burning on a gas stove.


It all started when Cameo Crispi’s ex called police on March 14 to complain that he had received numerous texts and phone calls from her within the range of one hour, and he really wanted her to knock it the fuck off already. He also told police he didn’t want Crispi at his home. Crispi. Heh.

An officer was dispatched to the man’s home and found smoke pouring out the front door. Inside, an “impaired” Crispi.

When the officer stepped inside the man’s home, he noticed a wood stove left open with a fire burning inside and hot coals on the floor around the stove. And on the kitchen stove, claimed the officer, there was a cookie sheet with about a pound of bacon on it. Now, bear with me, people….. this part of the story is extremely difficult for me. I just can’t even imagine the horror that poor officer must have felt at the scene. The burner was on the highest setting and the bacon, well, it was smoking and severely burned. I swear to all that is unholy — this story is going to give me nightmares for months.

The officer was able to douse the flames, but the bacon was apparently destroyed. Inedible.

Due to a high alcohol content, about 0.346, officers transported Crispi to the hospital for medical clearance before caging her. While there, a doc questioned her about the alleged arson attempt. Cripsi reportedly admitted that she wanted to get back at her ex by setting his shit on fire. Not sure if the bacon was his or if she purchased it before trying to burn his house down.

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In addition to the arson charge, Crispi is also charged with burglary, assault by a prisoner, interfering with an arresting officer, electronic communication harassment and intoxication.

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  • CT

    Jaded, it will be OK. I think that the bacon may have made it out alive! ALIVE!

  • letinstar

    someone named “crispi (cameo)” sets fire to bacon….we are truly at the end of days….or so my mother says…

  • Vincents_Sin

    Let us hold a moment of silence for the dearly departed. May the pig that provided the bacon not be killed in vain and his remaining cuts provided an excellent meal for others.

  • Laura_RT

    Nooo! Not the bacon! *sob* Evil bitch…

  • MrClayton

    My napkins are folded in respect for the fallen bacon…so sad this person wasted good bacon. My prayers are with this officer and maybe with therapy he can unsee that horrible bacon nightmare.

  • Stanley_Ipkiss

    Just a thought but if you really want to torch someones property it could be an idea to use petrol or something actually flammable and not quality meat products

  • Yes, denial. That’ll work. Denial and alcohol. I have no more tears left…..

  • Jessie

    I like my bacon extra Crispi!!!

  • Lena60

    ((((((( Jaded)))))))))) I feel your pain.Maybe it was the cheap tatseless shitty bacon she used.

  • Lena60

    I wonder if her middle name is extra.

  • everjaded

    It was truly her destiny to have a “Cameo” on the DD front page involving some “Crispi” hijinks. 😀

    As terrible as this tragedy truly was, I can only hope that this was some substandard, fatty (all the better for burning houses down, I suppose), non-center cut, non-brown sugar crusted bacon. From the looks of her mugshot, I have serious doubts that she would have invested in anything that divine.

    I’m gonna have to pour out a little maple syrup to our fallen comrade here next time I have breakfast.

  • I sincerely hope so, Lena. Or those bacon scraps or whatever the hell you call ’em.

  • Defafan

    Bacon should never get that Crispi.

  • thebossessecretary

    With a blood alcohol level that high, all she really had to do was breathe on stuff and light a match.

  • Texas Ranger

    .346 BAC…amateur.

    I’ve always wondered why the higher the BAC….the higher the probability your gonna burn your food? Gotta be some kind of Law of the Universe engaged there somewhere.

  • theshipsailedout

    Sorry Jaded, they tried…splatter guards….everything…the bacon has passed away.

  • Texas Ranger

    Just think of it as burnt TURKEY bacon or SOY bacon….makes the hurt go away a little.

  • Buffettgirl

    Blasphemous bitch… I don’t give a shit what’s up with Cameo and her man, bitch destroyed BACON, sweet and savory, innocent bacon and has now given @DDJaded:disqus nightmares. Clearly she deserves life with no parole. On another note, I found a recipe for Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies if that will help you cope with this heinous, vicious, vile crime…

  • LuvsHorror

    What a waste of pig.

  • Texas Ranger

    or Rice.

  • mean birch

    stupid bitch wasting perfectly good bacon like that.

  • newstarshipsmell

    Or… maybe it was turkey bacon… *gasp*

  • mean birch

    oh shit, the whole office just looked at me because YOU made me laugh out loud! Kudos!

  • newstarshipsmell

    That’s nothing. Get back to us when the whole office has had to watch you clean your beverage of choice off your monitor and keyboard.

  • Buffettgirl

    Happens to me all the time… 😉

  • newstarshipsmell

    LOL, I see you beat me to it.

    My father asked me, a couple days after I’d done this: “Did you write something on my turkey bacon?”

  • Lena60

    Lmao…too funny

  • thebossessecretary

    It’s the part where you start the bacon….then you forget where you put your drink so you go looking for it….then you hear the dog barking so you go to the screen door….then you see the mailman and go out to talk to him….then your neighbor says hi…..then you notice that the house is burning down behind you. A logical progression.

  • Texas Ranger

    That whole drawer just needs to be chunked… Celery, Carrots and Oscar Mayer Turkey Not Really…. absolutely nothing good in there.

  • Death2Jesus

    She looks nasty and probably smells funky

  • Lena60

    Cameo is not that ugly :p

  • OMG that sounds so awesome and so repulsive at the exact same time. It’s kinda hot.

  • glitterpuss

    Right?! Like a dragon

  • glitterpuss

    Man yeah….rule #1 when I’m drunk cooking on the stove, don’t walk away lol

  • Buffettgirl

    IKR?!?!?!? ;-P

  • starry1

    Or shitty veggie bacon that not even vegetarians will eat.

  • thebossessecretary

    You know someone hates you when they serve you that crap.

  • Gimme!!!

  • Wolf_of_Mars

    If she doesn’t share the recipe with you, I have one too.
    Bacon should never die in vain, it should properly clog your veins…

  • Sejanus

    Put her on until she gets good and crispy….filthy harlot.

  • Vincents_Sin

    I think that’s rule #1 with ANY cooking on the stove…

  • glitterpuss

    No. Most people don’t stand there and stare at the pot the entire time something comes to a boil, simmers or whatever.

  • Buffettgirl

    It’s in the car and I’m at work, I’ll grab it on my break and send you the link, or the printed out recipe. 😉

  • Adam Minnicks


  • Vincents_Sin

    Well I would hope not, but the intent of my response was that as a general rule to not walk away where you’ll get distracted and forget about what you have on the stove.

  • Buffettgirl

    OK – here’s the link:


    Good Luck! I’m going to try to find time this weekend to make them… 😉

  • sweekymom

    O, the humanity! Lackaday!

    “For God’s sake, let us sit upon the ground
    And tell sad stories of the death of kings:
    How some have been depos’d, some slain in war,
    Some haunted by the ghosts they have depos’d,
    Some poison’d by their wives, some sleeping kill’d;
    All murder’d: for within the hollow crown
    That rounds the mortal temples of a king
    Keeps Death his court.”

    Richard II, Act. 3, Sc. 2

  • BoyGirlBoyGiraffe

    Whaaaa!??! She cooks too!??! Alright send her here

  • salepo

    That’s an insult to dragons

  • Reen B

    My friend who sends me chocolate from Seattle a lot decided to include a Dark Chocolate with Bacon variety in the collection one time. That puppy sat in my office drawer for months with its WTF factor. Then in a fit of chocolate emergency I took a bite. OMG. Transcendent!!! I went around the office breaking off bites for people and making them guess what was in it. Tiny salty crispy little bits of joy, that’s what. Try it – you won’t regret it!

  • Mydnight Blackthorne

    the name Crispi…i can’t! roflmao!

  • Buffetgirl

    The people at us weekly are taking umbrage with our opinion on Mexicans. I hate them. Right?