Good day, sickos. I want to thank all of you for your calls and emails inquiring about my well-being and offering sex at various public parks. But fear not, I am just on a much-deserved, much-needed vacation. Although I am off this week, I will be writing up some stuff off and on while finally being able to focus on some DD house cleaning. I'll also have time to respond to some of you interested in writing. In the meantime, be sure to check out the forums for the latest in terrible news.

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Autumn GlickCAPE CORAL, FL –  Autumn Glick is facing a felony charges after the 32-year-old allegedly got upset with an elderly customer at Lowe’s and assaulted him in the parking lot.

On March 20th, police were called to the store after a verbal confrontation between two customers turned violent. It reportedly started  after Glick accused an elderly man of cutting in line at the holding area in the store’s garden area.

Glick began verbally assaulted the man and followed him into the parking lot where she jumped into the bed of the man’s pickup truck and began tossing bags of mulch out of the bed he’d just purchased. Witnesses say she also slapped and kicked the man before leaving.

Several witnesses at the scene described the incident to police, and they were provided with clear cellphone video of the assault that helped them identify Glick as their suspect. When officers arrived at her home, she refused to come out and talk to them because she said she knew she would be arrested and she had no one to care for her children until her husband got home from work.

Police left, but returned to her home on Monday and arrested her on a felony charge of battery on a person over 65. Here’s a bit of that cell phone video:

I can’t remember running into a problem with a line cutter. However, I do have an issue with people edging me out of line at grocery stores. See, when I get to the checkout counter, I like to put my shit on the conveyor belt then move my cart around to the front of the counter so it can be easily loaded while I pay. I find it to be efficient.

But it never fails that an occasional jackass will take that opportunity to move their cart all the way up, practically blocking me from the credit card machine. I know, first world problems. But still, it’s indicative of just how goddamn stupid or inconsiderate a person is if they don’t know how to behave in a line.

When I run this place, those people will be immediately taken out of the store and flogged — right beside the idiots who wait for all of their groceries to be rang up before digging in their purse for their card. In case you didn’t know, you can begin your credit card or debit transaction immediately after the first item has been rang up.

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  • CT

    OK, this could have been me once at a Safeway store. Old broad in a mink coat tried to move to the front of the self check line and wouldn’t stop bitching at me for pointing out the back of the line to her. Though she came after me later on – I just said something like — “you really don’t want to start with me, I assure you, old lady” in the low, evil voice I use when my kids really piss me off.

  • CT

    “right beside the idiots who wait for all of their groceries to be rang up before digging in their purse for their card” Check writers, Morbid, check writers who wait until the end to start filling it ALL out.

  • cedric

    Ha !!! The world keeps turning out more stupid Bitches …

  • Defafan

    Yes, people have become so entirely rude and sometimes I feel like I want to just lose it and ram whatever I am purchasing up someone’s ass… but I don’t. I have told people when they cut “don’t worry, it’s your world” loudly so everyone stares at them.

  • itsknotme

    Please, oh please, tell me she’s a work from home mom that wasn’t supposed to be shopping during work.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

    Where have you been? Or have I just missed your posts?

  • cedric

    I haven’t been on much lately … but I always come back.This really is one of the best places to get news of this type.5 STARS.Keep doing the great job you do Morbid.

  • Stanley_Ipkiss

    What I find the most annoying is that while im shopping the person in front of me just randomly stops in the middle of the aisle to talk to someone or whatever like im not behind them. If its a woman I just usually tell her shes an idiot but if its a man he will be getting my full almost 15 stone of weight plus the full shopping cart im pushing right in the achilles tendon..Bastard!

  • thebossessecretary

    That’s excellent. It hurts like hell to get hit in the heel with a shopping cart. This is why I’m phobic about walking in front of my cart-pushing husband at Safeway. If I look back, I can see it in his eyes: “Remember when you bought those shoes with the grocery money…..”

  • thebossessecretary

    Imagine being THIS one’s husband…..

  • Stanley_Ipkiss

    Im usually pretty stressed as it is when shopping with 2 young kids so when someone adds to that stress in some way they get the full brunt of my anger lol..

  • Buffettgirl

    You’ve been in line behind my Mom? Weird, I thought you were on the East Coast… ;-)

  • Buffettgirl

    Clearly he hadn’t gotten the memo on Autumn being THE most important person in the world…

  • Vincents_Sin

    Oh hey, Florida’s back! If it’s not a dick-lobbing story from Jaded, then I at least expect Florida to show up once a week!

  • theshipsailedout

    You’re sure you weren’t in the park talking to an old mink right ?

  • GracieW

    I had a really pretentious “rich” old white lady cut in front of me once at a store. I had my kids with me and they were cranky and tired and it really irritated me that this lady thought she was so much more important that she could just do that. I really let her have it–verbally. I didn’t cuss her out or anything. I just stood up for myself. It bothers me that this lady turned so violent over something like this and in front of her kids too.

  • Texas Ranger

    Oooh! you should have pulled that mink over her head and started Hockey punching that old bitch. THAT would make shopping at Safeway worth everything.

  • Texas Ranger

    We are all “THIS” one’s husband…just different chick containers

  • Texas Ranger

    She’d be a fairly hot milf if she didn’t have those upside-down eyelids.

  • Lena60

    Only once?????

  • Lena60

    She did not want to be arrested because there was no one to care for her kids? Who was caring for them while she was out assaulting old men?Oh Morbid, can we flog the people who run over the back of our heels with the carts? Can we please ,can we?

  • Lena60

    Lmao hmm, I don’t recall getting the memo either :)

  • Jessie

    You mean once a day, right?

  • tkaz

    I was at Safeway last week & some bitch came after me because the light at the register turned on & it was like…”Wow! Great timing!” & I got in line. Evidently, I was supposed to let her & everyone else that had been in line already try for it first. I didn’t even see anyone, no one was coming, it was like the light had come on just for me & I was standing right there! I felt special.

    So she gets behind me tells me I’m classless & YELLS it as I’m leaving the store! No way I was getting into it with her but I did look at her & say, “Excuse me, do you have a problem?” And she wouldn’t answer! She just kept saying the same thing over & over. She wanted a fight.
    I figured I’d just let her show the whole store just how classy SHE was & keep yammering on.
    I HATE pushy people.

  • tkaz

    Or it was me… ::blushing::
    I SWEAR my debit card MOVES when I’m not looking!

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/ Athena

    This stuff just doesn’t happen in Seattle. Mike and I were in line at Safeway last week, when an older woman with just a carton of milk got in line behind us. Just as we were about to offer that she go in front of us, she asked if she could go in front of us. Mike and I looked at each other like, “Wow, did she really just ask?”

    That’s about as bold as it gets over here in Sea-town. Oh, and if you’ve got efficiency issues (Morbid, lookin’ at you, buddy), you’re going to want to avoid Trader Joe’s like the plague. They’re actually encouraged to take their time and to chat their customers up. Not to mention their butt-to-butt register system practically creates line ineptitude where none existed before.

  • theshipsailedout

    Hey the man knows the game, I like that.

  • Bob Saccamanno

    It’s a shame the gentleman wasn’t a concealed carry person. If that were me, her husband would be planning her funeral today. “Stand your ground” means we don’t have to handle the trash.

  • Vincents_Sin

    There have been days, although few, where Florida avoided the spotlight. And since it’s been 4 days since the last batch of idiots came through, once a week is a decent call. XD

  • Vincents_Sin

    Hold on…. nope, my memo book is empty as well.

  • CT

    What the hell is wrong with you people?

  • CT

    You know as well as I do that THAT story involves a platypus.

  • CT

    If you mean how to score the best price on Depends, yes, he’s got that one down now.

  • CT

    And mine. :/

  • CT

    It’s the attitude that runs rampant here that everyone believes themselves to be the most important person in the WHOLE world. I don’t know if you have you have Whole Foods in your neck of the woods, but THAT place is douche bag city to the extremes.

  • CT

    Since I’ve had kids and typically have them in two, I behave myself in public, but God help you on the odd night I get out alone.

  • Texas Ranger

    Not sure yet, but the Dr is still looking.

  • Lena60

    Right there with you. We covered this several stories ago.We need to make a list :P

  • Texas Ranger

    No, I shit in the woods, not in my pants.

  • Lena60

    Oh please, I know how to behave in public….just wait till we get home. bahahahahah!

  • Michael Roe

    You know the saddest thing about this statement is there were several witness to the crime and even someone video taping it but no-one has the balls to stand up to this cunt fucking pathetic

  • Britefutr

    Ohhh, I HATE the shopping cart on the heels. But I realy hate when you are waiting in line and the person behind you keeps ramming you in the butt with their cart as they try to move up the line an inch at a time!

    Want to drive them really batshit crazy? Stand back with your cart and let the conveyor belt start to empy out. They are dying to unload their cart and you can see them starting to lose it as that empty space just grows and grows. Nevermind that they have at least five minutes to unload their cart as the minimum wage checker enthusiastically bags my groceries.

    God I love to be a bitch somedays.

  • Ann Stone

    Ditchers should be slapped (& thrown out of the store).

  • theshipsailedout

    Yes, yes it did. He was wearing a nice suit.

  • Finnea

    “…idiots who wait for all of their groceries to be rang up before digging in their purse for their card…”

    Every so often there’ll be someone who decides to pay for half an order in coins. The worst is if it’s a very old woman, who spends ages digging out small, *exact* change from every corner of her bag and then counting and recounting it slowly as the line grows. Sometimes she’ll also produce a bunch of coupons that take forever to process.

    I’m patient and almost never in a rush, but a few times I’ve had to abandon my own order on the floor at the last minute and race to catch a bus. I wouldn’t actually snap at anyone for this, at least not and elderly person, but a few times I’ve wanted to yell “Hey lady, just because YOUR only appointment is with the Grim Reaper doesn’t mean the REST of us have all fucking day!”

    And then I feel guilty for even thinking it. lol

  • Stanley_Ipkiss

    Always the way now days..More important to get it on youtube or whatever than actually help someone out..

  • CT

    And a fedora.

  • CT

    :shakes her head in agreement:

  • CT

    One of my major pet peeves currently is people who have to have screamingly loud cell phone conversations in the grocery store. WTF, people. What is so important that you can’t wait for 10 freaking minutes until you get into your car so you can drive and text?

  • Lena60

    lmao. I hate loud cell phone convos at any time.I think it is a cell phone addiction.I don’t want anyone, cell phone or other wise bothering me while I shop. I am there to shop not have a conversation for cripe sakes.Grrrr!

  • Stanley_Ipkiss

    You would also likely be planning your defence now as well..Not sure the stand your ground thing works against unarmed females.

  • thebossessecretary

    You are EVIL. I like you.

  • Michael Roe

    I’m afraid we have become a nation of cowards and lookie loos

  • Bob Saccamanno

    She obviously attacked him, empty a clip into her ass.

  • Sejanus

    Well to be fair I did get into it with an old fart at Food Basics who just plowed into line ahead of 9 people. This wrinkle ranch felt since she was on the waning years of her life that with time running out she didn’t have enough to spend it in line like a civilized human being. After tapping her on the shoulder and showing her the line she politely told me to do something anatomically incorrect with myself. I Then proceeded to stand on her scarf that was trailing the ground to allow others to walk past her. Threatening to call police on me, I told her she could easily remove the scarf and reattach it without incident if she wanted to. Of course while she did this yet more people went past her until she was in the correct position in line.

    Once outside she approached me and called cops on her cell. I waited and when they arrived she went into a foul mouthed barrage of how I attacked her. The cops asked if that was true, I told them it was not, that she was shoving people around and got her scarf tangled underfoot. Four other shoppers hung there to back me up. She was cited for causing a disturbance and filing a false police report.

    Lesson Learned Granny. Now when I see her at the grocery, she steers clear of me and hasn’t caused any problems.

  • MinorAbrasions

    I work in retail and one of my hugest pet peeves is when they have to balance their checkbook before they can even hand you the check. I could go on for hours about shit that annoys me about retail

  • Stanley_Ipkiss

    There is still some ppl with a set of balls and would help someone without a seconds thought but those ppl are few and far between these days. They mostly seem to have found their way onto this site lol.

  • Stanley_Ipkiss

    Yeh she attacked him but come on..just restrain the bitch and her impotent rage would soon diminish lol

  • everjaded

    I am conscientious, and I do try to make all of my transactions as efficient and speedy as possible. I have become a master at unloading my groceries onto the belt with Tetris-like precision to maximize space, and thereby free up the belt so that people behind me in line can also begin to unload their cart. I also group everything by product type, refrigeration need, squishability, and so on, so that the bagger doesn’t have to spend time trying to sort it all out once everything is scanned.

    BUT… I don’t agree with approving the debit transaction before the purchase has been fully rung up, as it can potentially cause additional delays if there are any errors. This may not be an issue for everyone, but I live in the south where Publix is one of the (nicer) available supermarket chains. They have a price guarantee where they will give you items for free if they ring up incorrectly. I made a purchase of 4 items at s Publix 2 days ago, and 3 of those 4 items rang up wrong. Had I approved the payment before noticing what happened, it would have taken that much longer to have them void everything out, refund my card, re-ring everything back up so that I could re-purchase at the correct price (essentially only paying for the 1 item that was not mischarged), etc. So sometimes there is a valid reason for waiting… just saying. :)

  • thebossessecretary

    People really need to pay attention to those price guarantees. If you can get the checker to ring it up where you can see the item totals, you’ll find out that if you buy 50 items, probably five of them are ringing up wrong. I’ve gotten all kinds of crap for free this way. Walmart, Vons and Albertsons are particularly bad about this.

  • girouxfilms

    Mulch isn’t cheap. What a waste.

  • Delaney3030

    Not at every grocery store. But most, I think.