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Woman Torches Mans Car After He Refuses To Buy Her A McFlurryJacksonville, FL — According to witnesses, a woman torched a man’s car after he refused to buy her a McFlurry early Sunday morning. No word on what flavor the pouty bitch wanted…

“They were going at it,” Sabryna Maré said of the couple who was standing behind her in line. “She was saying she wanted this and wanted that, and she wanted either a McFlurry or an ice cream on top and he was not in for it. Then he was yelling at her saying he’s not going to do it.”

And then, well….

Witnesses claim hearing the identified woman tell the unidentified man that she was going to “blow it up.” She grabbed the keys to the man’s 1994 El Dorado and ran outside. Armed with alcohol and gasoline, though no one really knows where she got it, the woman started pouring. Then, the match… because she apparently didn’t have what it takes to cut the man’s dick off.

Witnesses attempted to help the man put the flames out, but the car was “engulfed” by the time firefighters arrived.

People claim the alleged firebug was last seen running through a parking lot and off into the night. And after the fire was extinguished, the man and his crispy car disappeared, too.

Police say the man’s license plate did not match the vehicle.

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  • Jessie

    Butterfinger is my favorite. Depending how much I have smoked I might do the same…this woman’s behavior seems warranted dude.

  • Bladenukem

    I think I know why so much crazy shit happens in Florida. See, a lot of cocaine gets smuggled in to Florida and whenever the Coast Guard pursues the smugglers, they throw it overboard. Years and years of doing this and Florida’s water table is polluted with cocaine. Hence, everybody in Florida is on cocaine.

  • BearsBluff

    Gentleman, if you’re going to stick your dick in crazy, do yourself a favor and buy the bitch a McFlurry when she asks!

  • letinstar

    i can see this type of behavior happening if we’re talking about a shamrock shake….but a mcflurry??? some people are so gauche….

  • Vincents_Sin

    No McFlurry and she flies into a McFury!

  • Jycorro

    You just won the internet for today.

  • NY_Mommy

    I don’t know about a McFlurry but I might have gotten flame crazy over a Shamrock Shake. Depending on what day of the week it is.

  • Gamedame

    I’m relieved that it happened in Florida. I have a friend in Iowa that I could soooo see doing this — it’s exactly what her husband deserves. He wouldn’t buy her a McFlurry either, hell, not even a nugget.

  • Texas Ranger

    Shamrock Shake? Is that when a guy shakes out the last drops of beer in the bathroom of a Red Sox game?

  • CallMeMister

    I’m disappointed an event such as this taking place in Florida didn’t include one or the other (or both) ripping their clothes off, too.

  • Benighted

    I was thinking of getting a Shamrock Shake this afternoon but I’ve kinda gone off the idea now…

  • Buffettgirl

    loving the use of the word “gauche”!

  • Buffettgirl

    I’d set the car on fire if you brought me a McFlurry. Those things are gross. If it had been a Blizzard, well, that’s another story all together!

  • LuvsHorror

    Aren’t they fattening?

  • Blue Ming Seiko

    Well, ya know, sometimes you just want a goddamn McFlurry, and if some bastard is harshing your buzz by refusing to buy you one, well, you gotta do what you gotta do!
    Personally, I prefer a Blizzard, but hey, I feel the pain of this gal’s soft-serve deprived state.

  • mean birch


  • mean birch

    You’re such a guy. Thanks for that,

  • letinstar

    You’re welcome…. :-)

  • Sejanus

    Florida…always Florida…WTF?

  • Lena60

    Well damn, I go to post to this story and I end up on another post totally. don’t know how that happened. Just wanted to tell you all. I am a Grandma now for the first time. She is such a cutie too. * cheezy grin*

  • Lena60

    I love cookie dough blizzards.I never had to kill a car to get one though.This woman is not wound too tight.

  • Andrea Pizzuto

    I worked at Mcdick’s, you don’t want anything coming out of that window. .I love shamrock shakes as much as the next person. You know what it is? Melted vanilla ice cream and mint extract drowned in sugar syrup. The flavor comes in bags. Picture wine in a box sans box. Now picture green maple syrup,

  • t3chsupp0rt

    It was Oreo.

    That’s the only shit worth blowing up a car over. It had to have been Oreo.

  • Kelly Eklectusbird


  • JohnQknowitall

    It was Florida protocol that justified it… After she gave him a Florida toothless blowjob he refused to pay her with the promised McFlurry. She was obviously standing her own ground when she lit the car up like a Christian at one of Nero’s parties. That bastard is the one who should have been arrested. I believe that with all my heart. He wouldn’t give her what was rightfully her and what happened just ain’t right. God bless America.

  • Jessie

    Yes, loaded with carbs, but lemme ‘splain somethin. I LOVE TO EAT GARBAGE. I think its great we all live in times where we can eat crap like McFlurrys and large pepperoni pizzas with extra pepperoni. The key is EXERCISE. If you don’t, you’ll be a lardass. Calories in, calories out.

  • OnlyWhoresUseFrozen

    What is it about McDonald’s that makes people go crazy?

  • CT

    A know that mean birch already gave you kudos but I had to chime in here because I was crying over this comment, Luvs.

  • CT

    A M&M version of this has about 930 calories. That’s a boatload of working out for one day or you eat very little else if you are like myself a woman pushing almost 50 and just looking at cheese cake makes your cholesterol levels shoot up.. Coming from someone who could be a large ass if I chose to let things slide based on my families lovely genes – there are some things that just aren’t worth the calorie expenditure.

  • Jessie

    See u already figured out that your genes can’t handle it, which is more than u can say for most people! They eat bad AND blame genetics AND don’t workout. I eat junk sometimes, but because I workout, luckily it has no effect. Yet. I will get back to you in ten years on that.

  • Buffettgirl

    Congrats! ;-)

  • Stanley_Ipkiss

    The odd cheat meal is actually beneficial for losing weight not to mention your sanity. Im all about exercise and I love eating a good 4000 kcals a day at least but they are mostly good calories that help me grow exactly how I want to. Anyway if you eat perfectly healthy for 7 days straight your leptin levels drop to around 50% of what they were at the beginning of the week. Leptin is the main fat burning hormone in the body, so after a week or so a high calorie meal is actually good for increasing your leptin levels again and will increase the rate at which fat is burnt..This is a proven theory but the problem is being able to stop at just one cheat meal lol.

  • Jessie

    Wow Stanley color me impressed. My best friend did her thesis on leptin, and mine was on omentin- another mysterious fat burning hormone. I prefer two cheat meals ;-)

  • Stanley_Ipkiss

    I just picked everything I know up from bodybuilders I know and my own research, not to mention the not always successful trial and error method. Training has been my religeon for going on 10 years now and im not even 30 lol..Seeing your post gave me a smile this morning, its not often I come across ppl who think / care about these things as much as I do.

  • Jessie

    People better start caring about these things or we will have a race of big fat blobs (see avatar). I lied. I eat three fattening meals plus lots of bad snacks too. I love food. I am out to prove that portion control and exercise are all u really need to consider :-p but of course, everyone is different.

  • Stanley_Ipkiss

    We cant all be built like Greek gods though lol..Everyone is different but in the end it all comes down to diet and exercise. I have seen the “fat gene theory” being proved wrong in the gym time after time, all it takes is training hard and eating a good diet, its easy to blame the “fat gene” so you dont even have to try to get into shape aka lazyness. I dont exactly have the best genetics in the dads a fat alco and my mum was overwieght all her life until a few years ago but by hitting the gym 4-5 times a week without fail I have carved a body I am more than happy with. Just as strong if not stronger than all the competitive bodybuilders I know but the difference is I refuse to juice like them so they always grow that bit bigger..and they are all bigger asshole for it too lol. I train for health and fitness so introducing a drug into my system to make me grow like a freak doesnt seem like the healthy choice to me.

  • Jessie

    If you juice you are a cheater. No one likes a cheater. And you’re right. There’s no fat gene. 95% of the planet has the exact same metabolism. Yes, some people STORE fat differently than others. The key is to figure out your limits and troublespots. Exercise and you can enjoy good food and sleep well too.

  • Stanley_Ipkiss

    There is lots of ways to speed your metabolism up too. From my experience the best way to cut fat continually is to increase the amount of muscle you carry. Muscle burns up lot of calories to maintain so I see it as the more muscle you have the more calories your body will burn even at rest and the more delicious foods you can ultimately eat lol. Yeh I see juicers as cheaters also..I always laugh when they try to show off in the gym because 10 years from now that guys balls will be the size of BB’s and his false strength will have all but disappeared. He will be left weak and likely with lots of serious medical conditions whereas 10 years from now..nay 30 years from now I plan to still be hitting the gym all the time and enjoying my longer lasting fitness.

  • Jessie

    Sounds like you have a firm grip on reality. Personally I prefer to lift weights and workout at home, alone. As long as you get it done it doesn’t matter, right? And what you said about muscles is true, but for women cardiovascular exercise is just as important ;-)

  • Stanley_Ipkiss

    I used to go to the gym but I moved house in January and have a nice big shed out the back so I went ahead and bought myself an olympic weights set up and usually train at home usually but occassionally go the gym for some motivation. Cardio is important all round but im no fan of long slow runs etc because I broke my leg in July and running isnt my friend at the minute so I usually do intervals or burpee’s just as it takes a lot less time and less stress on my bad leg.

  • Jessie

    I agree, I don’t care for running at all. Don’t get me started on that topic. I do yoga and pilates, love to swim too.

  • thebossessecretary

    There’s plenty of ways to slow your metabolism down, too. Depression is good. Get fired, get a divorce, fight with your family, have a kid on drugs. The constant stress makes you stop eating (primarily because you’re sure you’re going to throw up five times a day). The weight just falls off of you. It works if you can manage to avoid becoming an alcoholic.

  • thebossessecretary

    My medical specialist told me that at age 50, running will destroy your joints and if you continue, you’ll live to regret it. Ditto tennis and racquetball.

  • Stanley_Ipkiss

    Tennis or racquetball are good because as a sport you will enjoy it more and are more likely to keep it up. I admire anyone who takes the time to get some exercise in.

  • Jessie

    I feel like those things will destroy your joints at any age! Always go low or no impact. But as 18th40, I mean Mr. Ipkiss said, I respect anyone who exercises at all ;-)

  • Jessie

    I am going thru some serious issues at work right now. I lost five pounds and have no interest in eating like I normally do. Stress will kill you. If u can smoke a bowl you’re better off, skip the booze ;-)

  • thebossessecretary

    I had a 300 pound girl friend who went on a juice fast for a week. She gained five pounds. She proved it to me on the scale. I couldn’t believe it.

  • Vincents_Sin

    Your answer is in your question… >_> <_<

  • Jessie

    I believe the “juice” he is referring to is steroids :-) but I think people who try and lose weight via juice diets are cheaters too.

  • Stanley_Ipkiss

    Far too much sugar..very difficult to lose weight when your insulin is constantly spiked..

  • Jessie

    Ha, tell me about it! You know what I tell people who are trying to lose weight? “STAY AWAY FROM FRUIT” Yes, they have less calories than a candy bar. But most contain the same amount of sugar and your pancreas can’t tell the difference. Insulin makes you fat. People are usually fat because they eat too much sugar, not too many calories.

  • Stanley_Ipkiss

    Yeh insulin can be the enemy..just need to figure out how to manipulate it to your advantage..Eg after a heavy training session I find a small amount of simple sugars most beneficial as to spike my insulin slighly after the workout forces nutrients into my muscles and replaces glycogen stores but at any other time I avoid insulin spikes like the black death.

  • Jessie

    As you should… however we DO require sugar to live and grow as humans, so it isn’t ALL bad :-) I just tell people that need to lose weight that the most important thing is NO CARBS dude.

  • Stanley_Ipkiss

    Oh yeh sugar is a necessity but not in the amounts the average person takes in each day. I have a banana in the morning with my oatmeal and then either another banana or an apple with my shake after my workouts..any other time the only sugar I really consume is lactose..its still sugar but its a nice prolonged release compared to glucose or fructose..The carbs are a killer if your wanting to lose weight but it is the bodies preferred source of energy..I am currently on a bulk and will be for a further 4 months so I need plenty of carbs for the energy but after those 4 months when im starting to cut the carbs will slowly be cut down and fruit will be taken out of the diet completely. Also always go for the slower release carbs no matter if im bulking or cutting..simple carbs are almost instantly stored as body fat..theres actually so much science behind this training game its a wonder I can actually be bothered at all but I still love it

  • Jessie

    Slow realease carbs = Pizza? Bagels? Haha yummmmm :-) And I agree, science is fun. What’s truly amazing is how we are all, biologically as humans, pretty much the same. And yet, so different too.

  • thebossessecretary

    Shamrock shakes remind me a little too much of drinking ground up Tums. Gag.

  • Mydnight Blackthorne

    haha im diabetic my boyfriend never lets me have this kind of stuff…but i’d never get mad about it let alone torch his car. even when i smoke lol!

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