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Evil Friggin CatPortland, OR — An evil feline with a history of violence now stands accused of attacking a 7-month-old child and forcing the child’s entire family, including their pussy dog, to hole up in a bedroom and call 911.

Lux, apparently unsatisfied with slowly sucking the child’s breath out of his body, reportedly attacked the child Sunday, scratching the kid on the face. This led to the child’s father putting a boot up the 22 pound pussy’s ass. Needless to say, that ass tap didn’t go over well.

The Himalayan flew into a rage, eventually chasing the family into a bedroom.

The cat’s owner informed the 911 dispatcher the cat “went over the edge,” and was charging at them every time they opened the door. The man also claimed the cat had a history of being an asshole — he was just a little more assholish on that particular day.

“He’s trying to attack us,” the man said as the cat screeched and hissed in the background. “He’s very, very, very, very hostile.”

After it was determined the child didn’t require medical assistance, the dispatcher dispatched officers to the couple’s home. Upon entering the home, police said, the cat darted into the kitchen and jumped on top of the fridge. They were able to snag Lux with a dog snare and place him in a kennel. Fortunately, there were no further injuries.

Though Lux is back home, his owners are apparently trying to decide whether to keep Lux or make him someone else’s problem.

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