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John CarterHouston, TX — An 18-year-old moron has been accused of setting his mother’s clothes on fire after she refused to give him money to buy marijuana.

According to authorities, John Carter pitched a ginormous baby fit and started lighting his mother’s clothes on fire when she refused to give in to his crybaby, whiny-ass demands. No word on why the entitled shitstain doesn’t just get a damn job and buy his own shit.

Investigators with the Harris County Fire Marshal’s Office say the damage was minor to the apartment complex where this shit went down. And yes, they also have reason to believe the fire was intentionally set. No clue, though, as to whether the woman was injured.

Carter has been charged with arson. He’s already out on a $30,000 bond. Raise your hand if you think mom posted bond.

I’m gonna go and buy my spawn something shiny for allowing me to live as long as I have.

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  • thebossessecretary

    Apparently he’s either too lazy or too dumb to resort to thievery. If you can’t pay for it, you’d better learn to steal it. That’s what all the high-class thugs do.

  • Buffettgirl

    He looks like a big-ass whiney cry-baby fucktard… If his mother bailed him out, she deserves what she gets. Your kid tries to kill you and you bail his lame-ass out? WTF? I can’t imagine ever asking my mother for money to buy pot, and it’s a legal prescription for me! fucking assclown…

  • Kelly Eklectusbird

    Is there any proof it was the mother that bailed him out? could have easily been a grandparent or something…

  • Nope, no proof…. pure speculation. Wouldn’t surprise me, though.

  • Britefutr

    “Well, if I can’t light a fatty I guess I’ll just light up my momma”. That’ll show her, congratulations you dumb fuck. Maybe they can keep his as in jail this time.

  • JohnQknowitall

    Texas is a “stand your ground” state… He wanted his inheritance and the bitch wouldn’t give it up. She’s the one who should be in jail. FREE JOHN CARTER NOW!! WHEN DO WE WANT HIM FREE? NOW!! FREE JOHN CARTER NOW!!

  • JohnQknowitall

    Admit it… You think he’s hot, don’t you?

  • Stormclouds

    … At least he tried to let her go out with a bang? But pot, seriously? There are far better ways to use your time than getting wasted on your parents dime.

  • DeweyCheatam

    AND she probably let him move back into her house.

  • DeweyCheatam

    He looks too lazy to even attempt stealing, let alone working (as suggested by others).

  • DeweyCheatam

    Isn’t “18” and “moron” redundant?

  • Jessie

    This jackass looks like he slurps big macs thru straws all day. Oink oink little piggy!

  • Texas Ranger

    She raised the shithead, she deserves everything she has received and will receive.

  • Lena60

    *raises hand*

  • I’ve always prided myself on being intelligent and a cause-and-effect type of thinker. But even at 18 I was a fucking moron … at times, at least.

  • letinstar

    looks real simple and lazy…i hope his mother didn’t bail him out…and i hope she changed the locks on the door…

  • Duncan Manwood

    In Mr. Carter’s defense, it’s possible that his mother’s name is Mary Jane.

  • 1DireWolf

    He can’t be a thief. He is too fat to run. And that is probably his mom’s fault too in his head.

  • Aussie Sabbath

    Someone should set that nasty pube beard on fire.

  • Stanley_Ipkiss

    Averagely £5 per autoflower seed (UK)..averagely 9-10 weeks to grow until harvest..why dont people see there is a better way than paying through the ass for their ganja. Sometimes I truely feel like I am the only one who has thought this through properly.

  • Missy B Love

    This boy 18 looking like he knocking on 30’s door. Get a job, get your own pot. And shame on your mother if she bailed him out. You let him run the house, don’t be mad when he run over you.

  • Lucy Van Pelt

    Thanks a lot, kid,you just handed Nancy Grace more ammo for her anti legalization tirade

  • ultracreep

    What a dumbass. I used to clean up the house for money and it was none of mom’s beeswax what I spent it on. (But it was weed. I spent it on weed.)

  • captaingrumpy

    And why shouldn’t Mum buy the weed.????