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Thaddeus MorganFargo, ND — A 24-year-old man was arrested last week, accused of assaulting his sister after an argument about proper toilet seat etiquette.

According to the police report, Thaddeus Morgan slapped and pushed his sister, 23-year-old Cynthia, after she confronted him about leaving the toilet seat up.

At some point during the verbal argument between the two, Cynthia claimed, Thaddeus pushed her and broke her glasses. When she attempted to dial 911, she told police, Thaddeus took her cellphone.

Thaddeus admitted to slapping his sister with an open hand, grabbing her wrists, pushing her and interfering with her phone call, but insists she was throwing toys at him.

The two were separated, told to grow the fuck up and sent to their rooms without dinner. Erm, I mean, Thaddeus was arrested for interfering with an emergency call, a felony, and misdemeanor assault.

Personally, I always look before I sit so I don’t really give two shits about whether the seat is up or down. I will, however, cut a motherfucker if the seat is down and wet.

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  • letinstar

    i always look before i sit too, but i really hate walking into a bathroom and seeing the toilet seat up…it’s a pet peeve of mine. it also annoys me when the toilet paper roll is “under” instead of “over”…but really what i’m trying to say is the parents of these two must be proud…

  • mean birch

    Have a question for Thad…was the water cold…because you’re obviously a big dick.

  • Adrian Dalgetty Bone

    There are black people in North Dakota??

  • Vincents_Sin

    Oh hey, my state made it onto the site this time. Barely, considering Fargo is right on the border to Minnesota.

  • Vincents_Sin

    There’s a few. More so on the west side of the state where the oil jobs are.

  • Jycorro

    The rule at my house is close the lid no matter who uses it. Currently training a new girl friend.

  • Vindictive

    Don’t forget to throw toys at her if she does it wrong.

  • MrClayton

    My wife complained about seat up/seat down. I told her to be happy she wasn’t having to worry about mud/feces/urine all over the place. You see, I worked in Afghanistan. The custom there is to stand on the seat and just squat to do either one. I swear I went into one and it looked like a shit ied exploded in there.

  • JohnQknowitall

    I wouldn’t have smacked until she told me not to dry my hands on the towels because they are for show.

  • JohnQknowitall

    huh?

  • JohnQknowitall

    I leave the seat down and pee on it myself.

  • letinstar

    *hmphf….

  • Duncan Manwood

    Reminds me of how I used to argue with my sister about how all that semen got into the coffee maker. She swore it wasn’t hers, but I never believed it.

  • Vesper B

    I guess I’ve lived with guys for too long, but can someone explain to me the big deal about leaving the seat up? I put that with placing the toilet paper on correctly as a first world problem.

  • Jessie

    Couldn’t agree more. WTF is wrong with women? You don’t hear men complaining about the toilet seat being DOWN do you???

  • CT

    She started it, nah ah, ya huh. I’m telling. Oh no you aren’t. Yes, I am. Shut up. Don’t you tell me to shut up. Oh I’ll tell you to shut up and do whatever I want. You aren’t the boss of me. Yes, I am. I am the boss of you. Nah ah, ya ha. You’re not so big. Yeah? I’m bigger than you.

  • thebossessecretary

    If you live with a man, you know better than to sit without feeling around to make sure the seat is down. If you don’t, the 30 degree water in the toilet bowl as your ass hits it will definitely make you remember.

  • Texas Ranger

    The exact reason I have an outhouse. No lid, no problemo.

  • Texas Ranger

    Uhhh. What are you feeling around with when squatting? Do women have an extra appendage down there I am unaware of?

  • thebossessecretary

    You definitely put your hand out in the pre-dawn darkness to make sure hubby didn’t forget. I never understood these women who were militant about the toilet seat. I’m sure most guys don’t especially want to see the bathroom trash can filled full of used Tampax either. But that’s the shit you put up with when you live with the opposite sex.

  • Texas Ranger

    So if my theory is correct, your hubby would be doing you a favor by leaving it DOWN in the middle of the night?

  • thebossessecretary

    Are we talking about the same thing? The seat with the hole in it so that you don’t fall into the water in the darkness when you sit down? Yes, after he takes a pee, I want him to put that seat down so that I don’t fall into the water in the dark when I wake up to take a piss. Nothing wakes you up quite so quickly as immersing your warm ass in freezing water.

  • Texas Ranger

    but if he never lifted it in the first place, he could never forget to put it down.
    PLUS
    Do you raise it for him when you are done? Or are you a typical selfish chick….I demand to be treated equal!!!…lift the toilet seat? No way I’m a chick…

  • thebossessecretary

    I’m surprised it’s not an Army technique. If you want someone to really wake up, pour a pitcher of ice water on their groin. They’ll come awake standing up and screaming.

  • Texas Ranger

    I see you side stepped the question.

  • Jycorro

    If you ever get a cat you will learn under is a better option.

  • thebossessecretary

    I don’t know Tex. If the toilet seat position was my most pressing relationship problem, I would get down on my knees as we speak and thank God. Is the toilet seat problem worse than his blowing his nose repeatedly on his flannel sleeve and then wearing the damn shirt for three days? It’s all relative.

  • Texas Ranger

    I guess its better wiping it on your sleeve than blowing a snot rocket like I do.

  • mean birch

    You win!!! :-)

  • Laura_RT

    Hell, as the mother of two boys, I’m just happy that they lift the damn thing… nothing worse than forgetting to check, and the having your ass do a slip and slide across the seat. So gross.

    Or (this was a problem I had with my most recent ex) not even bothering to fucking aim… can’t tell you how many times I walked barefoot into the bathroom and found myself standing in a puddle. I gotta tell you the curse words that came out of me in those moments where I had to shower before my morning coffee were enough to make a sailor blush… I woulda blamed my boys for that too, but it was in the master bath which they didn’t have access to.

  • Vincents_Sin

    I wonder if during questioning, police drew an imaginary line and put the two on each side and told them not to cross it.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/ Athena

    We’ve always had a “leave the seat in whatever condition you use it in” policy in my household. And I won’t bitch about the toilet paper facing the wrong direction (in my delightfully cat-free environment), but I will correct it if I run across it.

    Totally first-world. It’s hardly worth the conversation we’re having, much less a beating.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Count Rackula

    Oh my god and when the sloppy bitches at my office leave their pubes on the toilet seat. No, just no. Fuck all that.
    And I know they’re not mine, that shit’s disgusting. Wipe that shit off the seat.

  • thebossessecretary

    Raising boys is a special situation. Best to buy stock in the makers of Comet, Swiffer appliances and paper towels.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/ Athena

    I’m a big fan of multipurpose items, and I’m a little disappointed now that I don’t own a vibrator that could bloody someone.

    The last one I bought is really sleek, German-engineered; aesthetically, reminded me of Eva from Wall-E when I first saw it. But it’s covered in a silicone that, texturally, kind of mimics really nice microfiber, and it’s very lightweight, so I’m afraid it wouldn’t bloody a housefly.

    It does sort of resemble a very stylish remote, maybe for a stereo. I considered, when it was still brand new, leaving it out by the remotes to see who tried to use it. But I’m weird about germs, so I quashed that idea rather quickly.

  • Buffettgirl

    My boyfriend says it’s the same way in Korea. He was station there for almost year there back in the early or mid 90’s. I don’t think I could do it… well, I guess I would have to at some point, but I’d hold out as long as I could. I might even have to go to the hospital for being septic before I could. You Sir are braver than me!

  • Buffettgirl

    Seriously, that’s funny just because I’m the only chick at work and I know for a fact none of that shit is me ’cause I don’t have anything NEAR that long going on… It grosses me out SO much when I go in the bathroom and look down and see piss sprinkles and pubes on the toilet! Does it take THAT much to look after yourself and clean up once in a while? Sheesh…

  • Buffettgirl

    At my house it closed all of the time. I have to lift the lid, he has to lift the lid and seat. This way no one fights about it. Actually, for the most part, he has sole use of the master, and I have taken over the hall bath. It’s easier this way, he doesn’t work and there is no need for me to wake him up in the morning with the noise of me getting ready for work in the mornings.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Count Rackula

    Honestly! I always check my shit before I leave the bathroom so that I don’t look like a nasty asshole. Sharing a bathroom with these bitches makes me realize how gross women can be. Fuck leaving the seat up, wipe your piss and pubes off the toilet, dammit!!

  • Buffettgirl

    I will say that I don’t think most of it is my boss or the warehouse guy, I think it’s mostly the truck drivers that come in and out all day making deliveries. Those guys are just NASTY! One of them smelled so badly of unclean body that after he left, I had to go outside to puke. There was NO WAY I was going to walk into the bathroom and do it if the hallway smelled as bad as it did. The bathroom would have been way, way worse! Plus, my boss is pretty metro, I would guess he’s trimmed up for the most part.

  • mean birch

    john,

    if a guy has a huge dick then it has the potential of hitting the water when he is standing there to pee….therefore he should be able to tell if the water was cold or not. Hence my snarky question.

    and since I’m guessing you didn’t get my lame attempt at humor….I’m sorry, Shrimpy. :-)

  • letinstar

    me and kitty will come to an understanding….

  • thebossessecretary

    Certain men in this office use the women’s bathroom late in the day when no one’s around, because the men’s room gets pretty disgusting by 4 p.m. I don’t blame them.

  • JohnQknowitall

    Close… but actually shrimpy with a very small “s” as I am known in the locker room.

  • Laura_RT

    Lmao…exactly!

  • Missy B Love

    Wait stuff actually happens in North Dakota? Is this all they got lol?

  • Dre Mosley

    Sounds like the ladies rooms is nastier than I imagined. Shot all my notions to hell about you guys. With the mens’ room, there’s always some fat guy in there taking a shit or ripping farts while he’s at the urinal.

  • LuvsHorror

    With three sons and a husband, the seat is always up. Im outnumbered, so i don’t fight it. But the toilet paper must be over, not under. since I’m the only one to replace it, no fight there either.

  • LuvsHorror

    Arguing with your other self again, CT? What happened to the meds?

  • t3chsupp0rt
  • Wolf_of_Mars

    We keep it closed, too. Makes life just that much easier.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Count Rackula

    Harbor no illusions, Dre, and don’t let the titties fool you. Women can be disgusting creatures.

  • Stanley_Ipkiss

    I work in accommodation side of things in my building and got an email a couple years ago about the womens toilets..someone had been writing on the mirror in blood lolIts not hard to imagine where the dirty bitch was getting the blood from haha..the perp was never identified though..I will never forget that.

  • CT

    Pretty much. I’m the only one that listens to me.

  • CT

    I am a middle child. I never won.

  • 1DireWolf

    Maybe they need one of these.

  • Evan

    i make my women leave the seat up.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Count Rackula

    Wow. I’ll take pubes over angry menstrual blood any day. I should consider myself lucky, I guess? That is fuckin’ foul. If I were the custodial artist at that establishment, I’d demand a damned raise!

  • thebossessecretary

    And you’re absolutely sure they’re women?

  • Evan

    hahaha yea yea – hey actually i just respond to them saying “please put the seat down” with “naw you go ahead and put it up when you’re done so i don’t have to lift it” and threaten them with pissing on the seat if they don’t. They NEVER found this funny but I always did. Wasn’t really surprised they left me. Only this last one stayed.

  • Stanley_Ipkiss

    Yeh needless to say I didnt clean it lol..I actually suspect it was either a female security gaurd or else one of the cleaners because it didnt seem to be happening during normal work hours. Woman who reported it to me was really freaked out because what was written was quite threatening plus the fact the blood most likely came from someones gash.

  • Mr.CustodialArts

    Oh yeah Mama, my plum DIPS.

  • GracieW

    i have 2 boys as well and my 7 year old leaves puddles all over the place. I started making him clean his toilet and it has helped the situation…a little. But he is only 7 after all and still learning to aim. My soon to be 2 year old isn’t potty training quite yet but he loves the toilet. I’ve caught him more than once playing with his toy boats in the bowl. Fortunately I clean often so the toilet isn’t *too* dirty.

  • Laura_RT

    Lol… reminds me of the story of the guy who’s enjoying an afternoon of ‘tea’ with his two yr old until mom comes home and points out that there’s no way the kid could reach the sink to get the water he had been drinking.

  • mrskailuakona

    I’m on the sister’s sister side. Remember what you said you if the seat is down & wet? Imagine a wet ass falling through because the toilet set was up not just a dripple of wetness on your ass your entire ass dumped into the dirty toilet. Now imagine that!

  • Emma

    south park did a after school special on the dangers of this

  • mean birch

    Sorry…didn’t get your number…..

  • humble_pedantic

    obviously you havent been to the Old Broadway on a weekend, shit there were even 2 at chubs last night. what rock do you live under?

  • humble_pedantic

    what did u say?

  • Kelly Eklectusbird

    I like the seat down but only because it’s cleaner that way. Mine doesn’t have it’s own room and IMO one wants to look at the inside of the toilet everytime they walk into the laundry!

  • Vincents_Sin

    Considering I live in Williston, I’ve got a good idea how many are around these parts. =P