Patreon

Man Arrested For Stabbing Watermelon In "Threatening" MannerMan Accused Of Forcing Child To Ingest MethParents Claim Son Committed Suicide After Masturbation Video Went ViralDollar General Underwear Thief Flees The Scene In Ice Cream TruckTaco Bell Employee Accused Of Shooting Dissatisfied Customer With BB GunWalter Eagle Tail Choked To Death During Hot Dog Eating ContestMom Helped Boyfriend Bury Her Daughter After He Stomped Toddler To DeathJoy McCall Gets 10 Years In Prison For Having Sex With 12-Year-Old BoyHomeless Woman Dies After Driver Parks Car On Top Of HerMason Zisette Dies After Being Struck By Overpass While On Top Of Party Bus

Man Set Apartment Building On Fire After Management Bans Him From Masturbating In WindowTampa, FL — When ordered by management to stop masturbating in front of his neighbors, a 58-year-old man apparently attempted to burn an apartment complex to the ground in protest of their supposed Anti-Wanking laws.

Kenneth Haskins, who suffered an unfortunate facial rearrangement after shooting himself in the face with a shotgun, was apparently ordered to stop bopping his bologna in front of his open windows and front door. This displeased Haskins, and he told authorities he thought the overseers of the Mar Plaza Apartments were unjust and he wanted to get back at ‘em. Soooo, he set fire to their shit.

Police say the fire was pretty much contained to Haskins apartment, but 28 other units were evacuated as a precaution. Fortunately, Haskin’s temper tantrum didn’t harm anyone in the complex, which caters to low-income seniors and the disabled, but four families have been displaced due to fire and water damage.

Charged with arson, Haskins is being held without bail at the Orient Road Jail. Police say he has no prior convictions. So far, I haven’t had much luck finding any information on the whole shotgun blast to the face thing…

Man Set Apartment Building On Fire After Management Bans Him From Masturbating In Window
Tags: , , , ,

Comments


The views expressed in the comments are those of the comment writers and don't represent the views or opinions of D'D or its staff. Feel free to flag comments that may violate conditions outlined in our Disclaimer.

  • glitterpuss

    Last thing I know I wanna see is this disfigured freak jackin off at night. What a creepy sight that must have been

  • Cadeamon

    That Face is the thing of Nightmares…. Plus the wanking I’d never sleep again. No offense intended to Self inflicted gunshot wounds to the head Survivors.

  • Nicole Wright

    Scariest fucking face I’ve ever seen. I don’t even want to imagine what his ‘O’ face must have looked like…..

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    I think that is his ‘O’ face.

  • mean birch

    ……Wondering if this mug shot makes it into Jadeds collection?

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    Top 20, for sure.

  • mean birch

    At first I thought he’d been practicing shooting himself in the eye aiming for his mouth with his freak enriched offspring frosting.

  • Mr.CustodialArts

    FLORIDA! Christ, somebody buy the guy an eye-patch…also, if everyone in that joint looks like him, next time let it burn…please, for the children.

  • CT

    And his P, Q, R…

  • CT

    You know the old saying, “every time you masturbate a perv loses his nose. Choose wisely, grasshopper.”

  • AtheistPilgrim

    Wanking in his own window in his own apartment? Stop looking, pervs. Its when you catch him standing outside your window, at night, watching you while you sleep… his eyes locking with your’s as you wake up, that’s when you want to call the cops.

  • Vindictive

    Holy shit, one of Picasso’s paintings came to life.

  • theshipsailedout

    You need to learn how to spell.

  • newstarshipsmell

  • http://gaiasblessingonline.com/ Taxidermi

    He’s the boogieman x_x

  • CanadaGoose

    On the bright side, his face may become a great deterrent for prison rapists.

  • Texas Ranger

    Surely he could have found a hooker, it’s Florida dude….they ain’t real picky.

  • DeweyCheatam

    A letter from management? Why the fuck didn’t management or someone call the cops? Doesn’t anyone there have video-capable cell phones? Also, how unfortunate that his suicide attempt was unsuccessful. :/

  • Vindictive

    “his eyes locking with your’s as you wake up”
    I’m pretty sure that is impossible.

  • AtheistPilgrim

    Person A: Wakes up and opens their eyes.
    Person B: Makes eye contact and stares.
    Person A: Pees a little and prays its a dream.

  • newstarshipsmell

    “Also, how unfortunate that his suicide attempt was unsuccessful.”

    Do we know that it was attempted suicide?

    Kenneth Haskins, who suffered an unfortunate facial rearrangement after shooting himself in the face with a shotgun…

    So far, I haven’t had much luck finding any information on the whole shotgun blast to the face thing…

    I’d like to think that he accidentally rearranged his face through sheer incompetence.

  • DeweyCheatam

    Are you implying that hookers in other locations are? lol

  • Texas Ranger

    More of an observation of all Florida chicks really.

  • Texas Ranger

    Pretty sad dude, God didn’t even want him.

  • Vesper B

    I found the grown up Arseface from the Preacher comics!

  • Texas Ranger

    Take it a step further and imagine him all sweaty and slappin’ that ass while driving it home….tha’ts what nightmares are made of.

  • RedScarab

    Jabberwocky

  • LuvsHorror

    Its not the back of his head thats messed up…

  • itsknotme

    “… management to stop masturbating in front of his neighbors, a 58-year-old man apparently attempted to burn an apartment complex …”

    The charges? Can’t he get off, if he claims according to building code, this apartment required a sprinkler.? And, what other way to prove that you need a sprinkler than ‘a fire?’ Of course, his getting off caused the charges….

  • Vincents_Sin

    I just died laughing at this!

  • thebossessecretary

    I don’t know what would be scarier. Seeing him beating off in the window or running into him at the mailbox. I might involuntarily scream.

  • CT

    Thank you – at least SOMEONE appreciates me (see below)……

  • quintinjordon

    Mr. Slap Happy could become a new horror/ porn film monster…. The Mangled Masturbator. Or perhaps the Shot Gunned Stroker.

    The truth is this is unfortunate for him. Obviously, he has issues – And therapy would be a nice start.

  • Mr.CustodialArts

    I was thinking he’s straight out of John Carpenter’s “THE FOG.”

  • Buffettgirl

    That’s what I said when this was posted on the forums the other day! I got called sick and twisted – it made my day! ;-)

  • Buffettgirl

    Best comment today for sure! Although it does bring to mind the whole blow-job thing, that mouth is looking pretty darn tight… (I am SO going to hell for that!)

  • Buffettgirl

    “freak enriched offspring frosting.” Damn – I laughed so hard I choked on my saltine! Thanks for that! ;-)

  • Buffettgirl

    Hey – we all look the same when the lights are out right?

  • patrickdh10

    Some people create a living hell for themselves,this guy has obviously honed it to a fine art. They then try to bring in those who are around them so they won’t suffer alone. Torching that apt. building could have easily caused severe burns and disfigurement to many people and I believe this was his intent. I say just lock the SOB up for the remainder of his miserable life before he actually succeeds in his delusions.

  • newstarshipsmell

    Or give him a ticket to Hollywood. There’s no shortage of b-movie directors with work for his ilk.

  • link07

    Only in Florida would a guy be masturbating openly only to get a note the next day.

  • Buffettgirl

    We ALL appreciate you CT, just some more than others… ;)

  • RedScarab

    Or Ben Affleck

  • http://gaiasblessingonline.com/ Taxidermi

    lmao what a horrific image!

  • http://gaiasblessingonline.com/ Taxidermi

    Seeing him jerking off while standing at your mailbox.

  • http://gaiasblessingonline.com/ Taxidermi

    Time for you to get a flashlight :P

  • rohl

    I love a Lewis Carol reference. Bless you for that.

  • Brent Williams

    Damn, that’s cold.

  • DeweyCheatam

    Seeing him standing at the mailbox and jerking off. Or wait, did you mean the jerker or the jerkee was standing at the mailbox? lol

  • Buffettgirl

    It was my stab at being a more peaceful, loving human being… I failed, back to being a snarky bitch for me! ;-p

  • Buffettgirl

    I’m still wondering how people got past his face to even notice that he was rubbin’ one out… I’m pretty sure my brain would lock on the distorted facial features and that would be that.

  • CanadaGoose

    I can’t argue with it looking tight…But his mouth looks about as inviting as a rotting stoma :P

  • Buffettgirl

    For variety Big Bubba and the Boys in lock-up just might give it a whirl… besides, this way someone earns their “freak wings” don’t they? ;-p

  • CanadaGoose

    Big Bubba’s cock meat sandwich with a red bull to wash it down…I can picture that unfortunately :O

  • CanadaGoose

    Ps. You had me laughing pretty hard, thanks, lol :)

  • Buffettgirl

    You are more than welcome, it’s validating to know that I am not alone, just me and my twisted sense of humor!

  • Buffettgirl

    OK – I LOVE that you used the “O” – it adds a level of sickness that I truly appreciate!

  • letinstar

    Once I see Florida mentioned, my eyes glaze over….is it the swamp air? I just cannot comprehend the level of fuckery that comes that state..

  • t3chsupp0rt

    Can we please have a new story so this nightmare isn’t the first thing that pops up on the page when you come here? It’s… it’s just all wrong.

  • Kittyskyfish

    It does look mighty tight and toof-wuss. *hew wuverboy*

  • Benighted

    I can’t wait until this story falls off the front page so I don’t have to look at this freak every time I come over here.

  • Miss Monday

    You know what, I felt all like “WOW WHAT A GROSS FUCKER” and asshole, you know for burning that shit down

    but then I read a comment somewhere that was all like
    “Have some fucking decency, look at that man’s face”
    And yeah man, I just feel sorry for him, I mean he will probably NEVER get laid or anything, and he was probably embarrassed, and to survive a shotgun blast to the face, that’s something else man.

    I don’t know, surprisingly this man has my sympathy.

  • Miss Monday

    He’s up there with da pepper though

    dat face

  • Miss Monday

    anyone remember peppers ? Le brian peppers

    god

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    Mwahahahaaaa! No.

  • DeadlockVictim

    Is he part Persian… cat?

  • Aussie Sabbath

    If I was dumb enough to attempt suicide and was left with a face like that, I think I’d try again :(

  • newstarshipsmell

    I could change my profile pic to his photo, and post ten times as much as I normally do, on every single article.

    Just trying to help.

  • newstarshipsmell

    He died. :(

  • http://hawtmamas.wordpress.com/ hawtmamma

    No one wants to see him playing with his PORK SWORD, then spurting his BABY BATTER!

  • Chinchillazilla

    Do it!

  • Chinchillazilla

    WHAT. RIP, you ugly pedo bastard.

  • Dirk

    He is normal looking in real life. He just has the curse from “Ringu.”

  • Steve

    That’s not a mouth its a broken pencil sharpener.

  • Texas Ranger

    I did too at first, but then I figured that he’s not trying to help himself, jerkin off everywhere in public, and then he’s looney enough to burn his house down and endanger a lot of other folks…no, he deserves any and all disgust from me. Any sympathy earned from me for his situation….he burned up like his nasty apartment. fuck him.

  • Vindictive

    Him standing at the mailbox asking for a Dutch Rudder.

  • DeweyCheatam

    Not to mention that apparently, at some point, he blasted HIMSELF with a shotgun, so he ain’t too swift.

  • Vindictive

    Him standing at the mailbox asking for a Dutch Rudder would be scarier.

  • Lena60

    WTF! ick, the stuff nighmares are made of, Freddy Krueger has nothing on him.

  • Lena60

    No, so I looked him up.ahhh why did I look him up.I need brain bleach now.

  • newstarshipsmell
  • Miss Monday

    I know what you mean but like, no one was hurt, some people were displaced which is unfortunate, but he basically just burned out his own unit.
    I see it as like, a kid kicking over his own sand castle, and then some rocks and sand hit other people while he’s doin it you know ?
    I don’t know hahah I don’t much care for this one.

  • Miss Monday

    obviously rude though, cause someone owns that complex, someone is gonnna have to clean all that shit up etc. etc. so, TOTALLY rude, but I think hurt himself more than anyone else. Now his face is on the internet, he has a record, jail time I’m sure etc. fucked himself brah

  • MrClayton

    Eyes locking with mine? Shit, I would call for an exorcist!

  • GardeningGirl

    Waste of air.

  • captaingrumpy

    What about two eye patches , and send him to the shop for milk.

  • Teleute

    I once sent him flowers for his birthday. Never even got a ‘thank you’ card. :-(

  • Teleute

  • Craig Ellis

    Forget the article…how do you shoot yourself in the face with a shotgun and live?!?

  • Vindictive

    My uncle did it. They had to reconstruct his whole chin and lips.

  • CT

    Ass, you had me thinking I got the freaking alphabet wrong.

  • Kim

    Yeah my friend’s mom did it in high school. Paralyzed on the L side of her body for the rest of her life. Every time the thought enters my mind,I just think of Mrs. Chapman. Yep you just might fuck it up.

  • http://markusim.tumblr.com/ OnlyWhoresUseFrozen

    Two weeks and this guy’s mug (or what’s left of it) is still the first thing I see when I come here… please, make it stop, make it stooooop!

  • M Hbguy

    Very carefully

  • JGo555

    “But I set fireeee to their shit!” – picture Adele singing this in Carnegie Hall. GLORIOUS!

  • Help Us Help You



    Dreamin' Demon has been independently owned and operated since 2004. Help us continue to deliver terrible news terribly by donating a few bucks.



  • More Crime News From Reality Bites

  • Peer Pressure







    Never miss a friggin' article by checking our daily RSS feed or subscribing to our daily Newsletter!

    Dreamin Demon Wants You!
  • Prophets of Doom

    Be sure to pick up the DD crApp for Android. Coming to iTunes soon.
  • Dreamin Demon Wants You!
  • Recent Comments

  • Log In

    Log In