Good day, sickos. I want to thank all of you for your calls and emails inquiring about my well-being and offering sex at various public parks. But fear not, I am just on a much-deserved, much-needed vacation. Although I am off this week, I will be writing up some stuff off and on while finally being able to focus on some DD house cleaning. I'll also have time to respond to some of you interested in writing. In the meantime, be sure to check out the forums for the latest in terrible news.

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Dollar Tree BeastHolly Hill, FL — A woman accused of shoplifting from a Family Dollar store and beating a store clerk is also accused of ordering a 7-year-old child to assist in the beating of said clerk.

The unidentified woman to the left entered the store at about 7:00 Wednesday evening, with two children in tow. The source article states the children, ages 1 and 7, were the women’s children, but police have yet to determine whether that’s fact.

While the woman was wandering through the store, placing items in her cart, a store clerk glanced over and watched as the woman removed a sale sticker from her purse and placed it on a toy.

At the register, the woman learned the item she placed the sticker on wasn’t on sale, and she declined the purchase. She then apparently walked out of the store with a bunch of crap in her basket that she hadn’t paid for.

The clerk, who I am sure makes minimum wage, therefore, shouldn’t give a flying fuck whether someone walked out of the damn store with half the inventory, followed. When the clerk attempted to get the woman’s license plate number, the woman ordered her child to obstruct the clerk’s view by standing in front of the tag. And then, it was all about a beat down….

The clerk walked back into the store to call 911. At that point, she claims, the woman re-entered the store and started punching her. While the fists were flying, the woman reportedly demanded that the 7-year-old child give her a hand. The child complied.

The woman and the child then exited the store, the clerk, once again, on their heels. This time, though, the clerk damn near got herself ran over. Twice. Hellooo… Minimum. Wage. The clerk’s attempt at getting the license plate number was apparently successful — the car was traced to a man who claims he loaned the car to his granddaughter.

The alleged shoplifter is described as a light skinned black woman in her 30s, who likely tips the scales at about 230. She’s faces charges of strong-armed robbery, battery, child abuse and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. The store clerk wasn’t seriously injured, but she was bruised a bit and her glasses got borked.

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The views expressed in the comments are those of the comment writers and don't represent the views or opinions of D'D or its staff. Feel free to flag comments that may violate conditions outlined in our Disclaimer.

  • Jycorro

    7 year old beat down?!? I know I can take 15 or 20 of those little bastards and to prove a point I went to a school and tried. I only got 3 of the little bastards and the rest ran. I guess I will never know.

  • Kittyskyfish

    She re-stickers merchandise only to leave w/out paying? I guess all that effort adding stickers felt too much like a JOB. “Um wait…this is work! Ain’t NOBODY got time for that!”

  • mean birch

    ok yeah the heavy weight was wrong but look at the reporters outfit. Nice hair and a necklace don’t dress up sweats, Lady.

  • Jessie

    Classy!

  • shewentwhoa

    A skinny 230.. haha

  • Kelly

    Animal.

  • Jessie

    I believe the animal you’re looking for is: HIPPO :-p

  • ThatOneMom

    Glasses got borked? So much what in this article.

  • thebossessecretary

    The clerk is damn lucky that the woman didn’t knock her down, sit on her and asphyxiate her. Or stomp on her like a wildebeest.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid
  • ThatOneMom

    Very sad that I did not know this word existed

  • Gina

    I agree the woman is crazy but why insult her weight. The author was giving a description but you are all making fat jokes which im sure some of you fellow readers find hurtful..I don’t know. Just kind of rude.

  • newstarshipsmell
  • Alicia Lynee’

    Hey now, that is offensive to hippos everywhere. Can we just dub this hoodrat “ratchet” and call it a day? xD

  • Jessie

    Because being “fat” is something you bring on yourself and can control (97% of the time). If you find it hurtful, then don’t be fat. I find it extremely offensive to my eyes, personally.

  • thebossessecretary

    Come on. There’s gaining some weight because you’re getting older. Everyone does. Then there’s eating your way through seven successively larger pants sizes within two years. Don’t tell me that they didn’t notice; they certainly had to buy new clothes every six months because they gained another twenty five pounds in that time. Mindless eating that’s killing them. Tell me how that’s different from any other addiction.

  • Bladenukem

    Doesn’t anybody see this real issue here? Once again, this crazy shit happened in Florida, yet another reason we should turn the whole dogfucking state into a bloody parking lot.

  • Bladenukem

    Haha, that was awesome!!!

  • Kittyskyfish

    You’re right. It is insensitive.
    .
    .
    Wait, is Holly HILL the town or the woman? *flees*

  • Bladenukem

    Genetics are actually kind of a bitch, there are a lot of people that are born fat, now they could hop on a stairmaster and work there ass off and eat granulated shit, and lose the weight, but 1) Once they lose the weight they will have to keep up that regimen for the rest of their now miserable lives and 2) the moment they sneeze, they will get fat again.

  • Bladenukem

    It’s not like they have to work hard to “be fat”. they have to work hard to “not be fat”

  • Bladenukem

    It is not like they have to work hard to “be fat”. they have to work hard to “not be fat”

  • Taxidermi

    If you find the comments to be rude, I suggest you not read anymore of the stories…
    If only calling someone fat was the worst that people could do.

  • Buffettgirl

    How come Mommy never let me participate in a beat down when I was seven??? Fuck, I feel robbed of one of life’s pivotal moments now…

  • BrittBrittRoss

    Yawn…

  • Taxidermi

    Go grab a stick, smack everyone you see and make up for lost times!
    I expect to read about you here next week :D

  • glitterpuss

    All that effort to steal shit that costs a dollar…..so stupid.

  • Buffettgirl

    I shall do my best to comply! ;-p

  • takurospirit

    I do find it hurtful, but what can you do. The world is full of idiots.

    I try to even the scales (ha ha) by making the same comments about fat men, but it never catches on. For some reason people are more enraged by a fat chick than a fat man. Especially other fat assed males. I’ve seriously had men significantly fatter than I am try to talk shit about my weight. I’ve gone off on a tangent.

    My point: make sure to make disparaging remarks about fat people with penises in equal amounts. It’s the right thing to do.

  • thebossessecretary

    Somehow fat men never see themselves as fat. They consider themselves “husky” (!) God forbid they fall on top of you after sex. You may not survive.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

    I don’t know where the word came from, but I know we used it back in the day when first getting into computers and scripting. I usually used it when talking about code I had screwed up.

  • Kaylara

    The Swedish Chef Borks. :P

  • sweekymom

    Oh, I thought for a moment that her glasses had been denied a spot on the Supreme Court. http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/bork

  • Jessie

    Most people have to work these days to not be fat. We used to burn 5000 calories a day a little over a century ago. Not anymore. If u want to maintain a normal weight you have to exercise. Some more than others, like u said.

  • Jessie

    Xoxo, sry I know.

  • sweekymom

    No, now wait, some of us really enjoy Disney World…

  • sweekymom

    Can I help? I have some pent up aggression I need to work out.

  • Jessie

    Wrong. Fat men are even more disgusting than fat women. They can’t use the excuse of prior pregnancy or fluctuating hormones. I try and make equally negative comments about both sexes, thank you.

  • sweekymom

    I like the voice over guy who was all, “…she needs help…” No, she doesn’t need help. She needs a smack upside the head, repeatedly. Followed by several years working a shitty job for minimum wage where she has to deal with that shit every damn day.

  • Kim

    Glad the clerk is ok because she did the exact opposite of any training she should’ve received. My mom was a night shift cashier at a grocery store for 30’something years. It was often just her and 2 other workers in the store. She got held up 2-3 times and was trained to give them the money,don’t chase.Call the police and let them handle it .The one time the manager did chase robber out into parking lot;he got shot. Lived, I think? It’s been a long time ago. But not worth losing your life over cause even fat ppl can pack heat.

  • David Richter

    I was thinking the same thing. I’m a store manager for Family Dollar. I tell my team all the time that if we get robbed, well…the shit the thieves take can be replaced. We have insurance for that. But if they get shot/stabbed/run down with a car/borked? I make more than minimum (not much more…I damn sure don’t get paid enough for what I do), but even still, they can have whatever they want. I have cameras and a security system. They get caught eventually, and that’s good enough for me.

  • David Richter

    She also apparently needs her uterus ripped from her body. Why is it we need training and licenses to drive a car, fly a plane or any other number of things, but give birth? Nah, go ahead, have 9 of the little shits. Who cares, welfare will take care of it for you.

  • JohnQknowitall

    I for one think that a mother who spends quality time with her children is to be nothing, but admired. God bless and lots of love to all mothers and their children!!! :) <3 <3 <3

  • Aussie Sabbath

    It’s not worth getting injured over a couple of buck’s worth of stock. Let the cops rough them up, the clerk has enough problems, the ones minimum wage jobs usually bring (not enough hours, crap customers, etc.)

  • darsa

    LOL, that’s a maternity top. :)

  • Eliza Berntsen

    Wouldn’t they need to locate their penis first, to have sex?

  • Wolfsbane

    The Family Dollar clerk allowed themselves to be beat upon? This just screams out for invoking one’s stand your ground castle doctrine rights. The only point in living in Florida is being allowed to perforate such people.

  • patrickdh10

    What does one re-sticker a Dollar Store item to? Fifty cents,ten cents,a penny? She must be hurtin’ for certain if she’s that cheap,or just to lazy to get a job. I’d guess the latter.

  • Buffettgirl

    Absolutely – Five days of the tummy flu have left me exhausted and weak, please, please feel free to join in! ;-)

  • what the?

    she’s waiting on her next pay check to be born.

  • JGo555

    If you try, you STILL can’t shoplift class.