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Man Rams Car Into Convenience Store, Steals Banana

January 10, 2014 at 7:36 pm by  

Banana thiefNewington, CT — Police are asking for the public’s help in identifying a man accused of ramming his car into a convenience store and making off with a single banana.

Surveillance video shows a Ford Freestyle with Connecticut license plates backing repeatedly into the store and breaking the glass doors, setting off the burglar alarm, at about 2:00 Thursday morning.

Once the man was inside, he apparently swiped a lone banana off a shelf and devoured it before leaving the store.

Police say nothing else was taken.

The car apparently sustained damage to the driver side rear bumper and tail light.

If you recognize this banana loving, station wagon driving doofus, please contact the Newington Police Department at (860) 666-8445.

Why, yes, it is a slow news day…. why do you ask?

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  • Chinchillazilla

    This crime is just bananas.

  • Blurgh

    Why don’t you jerks quit monkeying around and post a real story.

  • mean birch

    Bananas are my favorite fruit because they have APPEAL

  • Kittyskyfish

    Gwen Stefani made him do it.

  • Texas Ranger

    Did he have cramps?

  • Texas Ranger

    Thanks. Be singing that damn song all night now.

  • Taxidermi

    He just needed to fix his potassium deficiency-no crime in that :P

  • Delaney3030

    Ooh ooh aah ah

  • glitterpuss

    Equally stupid expression on his face too, like even he can’t believe what he just did

  • Aussie Sabbath

    My sister would have totally done this when bananas were $AU15.00 a bunch, due to cyclones destroying banana crops in QLD. Luckily bananas are $2 a bunch now, otherwise Woolies would have needed a new window!

  • Aussie Sabbath

    Perhaps he couldn’t afford an iPhone, so he needed a ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring on a Banana phone!

  • Kat

    Yeah my kid too, when cyclone Larry hit banana’s were my daughter’s favourite food. This was back when money was a lot tighter than it is now and I honestly couldn’t afford them. Broke my heart though when I had to keep telling her I couldn’t get them this week.

  • BrittBrittRoss

    This guy is SERIOUS about getting his daily requirement of Potassium! It really is commendable…

  • 1DireWolf

    Maybe he was having a Charlie Horse and needed the potassium really really bad.

  • Mr.CustodialArts

    My smash and grabs always involve Combos…you know, the Pizza flavored ones. I also enjoy the pretzel variety.

  • Cory

    A Monkey has to eat xD

  • LuvsHorror

    When you just gotta have that banana.

  • laurablue87

    It was MEEEEE!!

  • http://tempestletrope.typepad.com/blog Tempest Nightingale LeTrope

    I would like to blame meth or Thunderbird, but perhaps his banana addiction got the better of him!

  • Heather_Habilatory

    FUCK.

  • t3chsupp0rt

    Maybe he was having a diabetic episode, or a bad charlie horse and needed some potassium RIGHT NOW. Whatever it was, he was obviously having a serious banana related emergency. He deserves our compassion.

  • Buffettgirl

    If I’m going to go down for a crime, there’s gonna be more damage than just a stolen banana! Sheesh, he should have at least swiped a bag of Funyuns too!

  • thebossessecretary

    I want some of the weed he’s smoking. Munchies strong enough to make you crash your car into the local closed mini-mart for some banana action.

  • Andrea Pizzuto

    I wonder if he’ll go to jail over it.. He’ll get all kinds of banana rammin’.. :)

  • JohnQknowitall

    Should have gotten everything he could… same penalty and he still has to get that tail light fixed.

  • Aussie Sabbath

    I just bought some today. $2 a kg. I didn’t even have to plough into the shop window to get at them.

  • Aussie Sabbath

    Mine involve Krispy Kreme donuts and sour patch lollies. That’s the only reason I go 7-Eleven. I don’t even go there for fuel. (Although last time I went, was so I could exchange an expired propane bottle for the BBQ. $35 – never again!)

  • Aussie Sabbath

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkaKhFl2ocw

    As if I didn’t make myself clear enough…

  • Aussie Sabbath

    Maybe he needed them for a boat trip…
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMigXnXMhQ4

  • Aussie Sabbath

    The look on this guys face reminds me of this totallylookslike.com image

  • bobomb

    this may have been part of a bigger plot.

  • Cory

    more like

  • Heather_Habilatory

    I totally DVed you. This is gonna be stuck in my head ALL DAMN NIGHT now.