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mephedroneHaywards Heath, West Sussex — A 19-year-old believed to be under the influence of some sort of party drug, “meow meow” being one possibility, is reported to have stabbed his mother and severed his own dick.

Not a lot of info on this, but the kid was apparently home for Christmas break, and after indulging in a bit of plant food, went berserk and stabbed his 46-year-old mother. That accomplished, he got busy on the family jewels.

Mom called emergency services to the home, where the kid was found hanging from a bedroom window, blood gushing from his new, temporary vagina.

Both parties were rushed to the hospital with life-threatening injuries.

As of yesterday, mom was listed in stable condition, and it appears as if surgeons were able to successfully reattach the boy’s dick. He, too, is listed as stable.

It might just be me, but every time we cover a story involving a severed dick, I get a sudden urge for chili dogs. I might need psychiatric help….

 

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  • Chinchillazilla

    Well, I guess cutting his own dick off sure showed his mom!

  • 1DireWolf

    Sounds like he had sexual mama issues. First he attacks her and then the “offending member.” If your eye offends thee pluck it out! Some deep-rooted pervy stuff going on in his head… the one that is still attached.

  • Jycorro

    Why reattach his dick? It seems he wanted out of the gene pool.

  • Taxidermi

    ‘blood gushing from his new, temporary vagina’ made me choke on my oatmeal lmao

  • itsknotme

    I got a pack of these for Christmas from a White Elephant gift exchange. I never knew what they were for until I read this story:

  • newstarshipsmell

    Technically, with his scrotum intact, he still could’ve reproduced. Science!

  • Jycorro

    Finding a chick willing to hump that stump may be the game changer.

  • Jessie

    Mmmmm chili dogs. Have you tried the big bites w chili and cheese from 7/11? They are AWESOME and available at all hours, even breakfast :-p

  • newstarshipsmell

    Nah, I meant like, sticking needles in his balls to extract the sperm and artificially inseminating someone with it. Science!

  • Miss Monday

    I’m 20 I feel old
    I’ve never heard of these drugs
    where the fuck are they coming from ?!
    Back in my day [holy shit] we were doing regular illegal drugs like ecstasy and mushrooms
    the fuck is meow meow and shit

    wtfwtf

  • thebossessecretary

    Try not to be the first idiot in your neighborhood to snort, inject, smoke a new drug. That was my motto.

  • Benighted

    I never would have thought of something like that happening in sleepy little ol’ Hayward’s Heath.

  • Buffettgirl

    Totally normal folks, nothing odd going on here, move along now… wtf Stumpy, how’s that going to work out for you now?

  • Taxidermi

    I’m assuming ketamine, aka Special K, but that is just a guess.

  • Jessie

    Naw- if it was ketamine this kid would have been knocked out on his ass and barely able to lift a knife- let alone stab someone and cut his dick off.

  • GrimReaper

    That is the same shit found in certain types of bathsalts or maybe all bathsalts. Just changed its name and calls it plant food…….WOW

  • JohnQknowitall

    How do you explain the severed penis scar to people in the future who might, penis unseen, want to touch it for carnal reasons? The story alone is a mood killer.

  • Eliza Berntsen

    Circumcision gone wrong?

  • Eliza Berntsen

    You too clever, bitch.

  • Spectra Ghostseeker

    Too bad he didn’t make it his ‘nads to insure that he couldn’t breed. I have sympathy for addiction issues, but if you’re going around getting all stabby, having kids probably isn’t the best plan.

  • Spectra Ghostseeker

    Sounds like catnip to me! Maybe I shouldn’t give my cats catnip any more. They might shred my face and then tear apart their own genitalia.
    Methadone is a legal drug given to heroin addicts to help them avoid getting back on smack, but I never heard of mephedrone before.

  • Andrea Pizzuto

    I would assume he would have had time to come up with a story by the time that mangled pork sword was fully healed, sure to include magic and saving a child.

  • JohnQknowitall

    Even fully healed, my guess is the sensation will be much less sensitive. That is a mistake he won’t make again.

  • JohnQknowitall

    The doctor was drunk, farsighted, used a rusty scalpel, dim lighting and had shakey hands…

  • Texas Ranger

    Mark this one up as ” One really frickin bad day”….and go on to the house.

  • JGo555

    May this be his wake up call.

  • TaReon Williams

    these kids need to leave these drugs alone.