North Charleston, SC — Kayso, I’m a little late on this one – those who know me would expect nothing less from the Queen of Procrastination – but since it’s looking like Crazy Lady Day at The Dreamin’ Demon, I’m gonna go ahead and throw in Helen Williams.
Williams, 44, sent her common-law husband out for some beer late Christmas Eve, and when the man returned home empty handed due to the fact that the stores were closed, she got a little testy.
The 41-year-old man was apparently in the kitchen upon his return (making his own damn sammich, by the way), when Williams grabbed the squirrel and knocked him upside the back of the head with it. Then, police say, she stabbed him with it. I, for one, would love to see this friggin’ squirrel… sounds like I need a similar one for my “collection.”
Anyway, the man tore out of the house and headed to the neighbors to call police. When police arrived shortly after midnight, they found the man covered in blood, suffering from cuts to the face and shoulder. When he removed his shirt, officers noticed a big gash in his chest.
Williams initially told police the man had fallen, but because of the amount of blood on her hands and clothing, officers called bullshit. She was charged with criminal domestic violence of a high and aggravated nature. Bond was set at $10,000.
Dear hubby was treated at a hospital for non-life threatening wounds. The squirrel, I’m sure, has been bagged and tagged.