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Man Arrested For Assault With Banana

January 7, 2014 at 6:08 am by  

Joseph SmolinskyPort Richey, FL — No, that’s not a euphemism… get your minds outta the gutter, ya naughty. Not a lot to this one, but it involves an assault with a banana, so I’m on it. The story, not the banana…

Joseph Smolinsky, 36, is facing a couple of charges after allegedly assaulting his live-in girlfriend with a banana, and for resisting arrest after the fact.

Police were called to the couple’s home on New Year’s Day, and learned from the girlfriend that Smolinsky threw a banana at her. Smolinsky denied the accusation, of course, and blamed the banana tossing on the woman.

It was going to take some solid detective work to get to the bottom of this one….

After a thorough investigation, officers determined Smolinsky was the offending party. And how did they arrive at this conclusion? Well, the woman was sporting a red mark on the face, where the banana apparently landed, and there appeared to be a bit of banana peel on the floor near the couch where the woman was sitting. Case. Closed.

Smolinsky was charged with domestic battery and resisting arrest without violence. He apparently got a little rowdy while being placed under arrest – nothing a dose of pepper spray couldn’t fix……


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