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Man Claims Mean Barber Stabbed Him In The Nuts

December 13, 2013 at 2:21 am by  

Bad barberSeattle, WA — An unidentified man is nursing a busted lip and a sore groin after a really mean barber allegedly stabbed him in the cojones with a pair of scissors and punched him in the face.

The man told police he was just getting his hair cut Monday, when one of the salon’s other barbers started giving him shit. The two apparently have some sort of long running feud-type thing going on. He knows the barber from around the neighborhood, he told police, but the two certainly aren’t friends. He also told police the barber had assaulted him on previous occasions, but he never reported it.

Anyways, the alleged victim had had enough of the man’s crap that day, and after he was finished in the chair, asked him to kindly knock it the fuck off. The mean barber reportedly responded with a death threat of sorts, in addition to threats of a stabbin’ and a punchin’. And with that, the victim said, the barber grabbed a pair of scissors and attempted to stab him in the gut. Fortunately, the scissors didn’t make it through the fabric of the man’s coat.

According to the police report, the barber then went for the crotch. The victim’s pants ripped and the scissors made contact with his testicles. No word on whether blood or vomit was spilled.

The victim left the shop and headed for his car. He told police the barber followed him outside and punched him in the face. It was then that the man called 911.

The salon was already closed when officers arrived on scene, so they were unable to speak to the barber. *blinks* So a “Sorry, we’re closed” sign is all it takes to get away with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon? Be back later… heading to the office supply store.

 

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  • Andrea Pizzuto

    Must have run out of normal customers..

  • Sam

    Hold up. This guy went into a shop filled with sharp implements, where he knows somebody who hates him works, and willingly sits down and presents his jugular?? This guy’s a special kind of stupid, ain’t he?

  • Delaney3030

    My sentiments exactly. He has a car, too. The other barber that he likes must give a top notch trim.

  • Delaney3030

    He has balls for that. They may be pierced or sliced now, but everyone knows they are there.

  • Stormclouds

    Surely there are other barbershops in the area? Y’know, where someone who hates his guts [and wants to stab them] *doesn’t* work?

  • Buffettgirl

    Are they though? They might have been before he walked in, but are they there now? ;-P

  • Buffettgirl

    Are they though? They might have been before he walked in, but are they there now? ;-P

  • Buffettgirl

    Seriously? This is the first article I read today, the day before I go get a hair cut for the first time in almost two years?

  • thebossessecretary

    Be sure to leave a good tip……

  • Buffettgirl

    I’m gonna now!

  • hicusdicus

    I know now their are worse things than getting grabbed by the short hairs.

  • FrikkenFrak

    The moral of the story: Listen to your barber when he tells you to trim down that Amazon bush.