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HIllsNew South Wales, Australia – Unholy Underwear!

Last year, authorities in New South Wales uncovered an inbred cult living in a remote valley just south of Sydney.

The clan was discovered after residents of a nearby town reported children wandering the hills and valley. Authorities investigated the area where the children were spotted only to stumble upon a clan of about 40 adults and children living in makeshift sheds, tents and “broken down caravans” with no running water, electricity, or working sewage systems.  Dirt covered the cooking area, rotten vegetation was stored in the refrigerator, and there were even claims of a kangaroo sleeping in a child’s bed (D’awww)

Upon further investigation, it was determined that the clan made up 4 generations of inbreeding going back to great-great grandparents who were actually brother and sister. And you know what comes with fornicating with a relative right? A super-strain of retardation and deformities.

Among the examples of human anomalies include an illiterate, speech impaired nine-year-old girl who “did not know how to use a toilet or what toilet paper was,  a boy with a walking impairment and severe psoriasis, another with hearing and sight problems and yet another boy whose eyes were misaligned.”

Details of generations of child abuse and inbreeding were made public and I’d rather not yak on my newly fixed laptop so forgive me for not indulging all of you twisted wankers with the unsexy bits.

Apparently, the Hills Have Eyes rejects were known to be in possession of the valley (which has been kept confidential) by nearby townsfolk (town is also being kept confidential). One resident proclaimed jokes were made stating if anyone came from the valley, ‘you’d be inbred’. The resident also claimed that occasionally two women with  ‘about ten children’ would stumble out of a car and purchase things in the various shops. “They were never clean looking, said the man.”

Some of the children now reside with foster families (give those people a fuckin’ medal) while others are being treated for the psychological and sexual torment brought onto them by their loving familia.

Fuckin’ hell. Time for a hot toddy and a scalding shower.

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  • ShelbySP

    Reason 267,984,125,002 Australia is scary as fuck

  • LeaveMeBe

    I have never read any of your articles before today, Adam, but FUCK YOU. I spit iced tea all over my laptop AND almost wet myself from laughing so hard.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    “…..did not know how to use a toilet or what toilet paper was”

    This makes me itchy.

    “…….another boy whose eyes were misaligned”

    We get a lot of those types here at the DD.

  • Aussie Sabbath
  • Aussie Sabbath

    Including myself.

  • Laura_RT

    “Time for a hot toddy and scalding shower.”

    I’m not sure scalding is hot enough; I may never feel clean again after this one…

    Oh, and fuck you Adam!

  • JustDev

    This is like a VC Andrews book come to life.

  • Sam

    Why lug a fridge around for your vegetables, if you have no electricity?

  • billymadatchu

    with all of this information, i wonder if it will knock the ass punching stomach grabber out of the top seat.

  • Sam

    Also, the Daily Mail article mentions “only one – a five-year-old girl, the youngest – had parents who
    weren’t related to each other.”
    So I’m guessing that at some point, some backpacker must have stumbled upon the clan of deformed halfwits and thought “ooh! free sex!” ?

  • billymadatchu

    im fairly certain that most of these posters do not know how to use toilet paper. but coincidentally, that same amount has a surprisingly high banjo playing ability.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    I love you.

  • Kelly Melton

    I’m so glad I wasn’t the only one making that comparison!

  • Texas Ranger

    So….no “Religion” was to blame?

  • LeaveMeBe

    It’s very sad that you think the random backpacker contributed his/her DNA willingly.

  • BrittBrittRoss

    LOL then *shudder* – A big FUCK YOU to Adam!

  • Peri Evans Monday

    google maps asap

    i’m gonna see if I can find this shit.

    Does anyone know about that island out in the pacific that I know was a huge community of like fucked up child abuse and sex and shit, when the authorities in Aussieland or NZ found out I think they emptied out the island or tried or something. I’ll try and find a link to what island it is. It happened a bit ago like 2003 or something.

    Does anyone know what I’m talking about ?

  • Peri Evans Monday

    ew the article calls it ‘hidden valley’ like they’re gonna ruin ranch and carrots for me now.

  • tkaz

    He was dinner after they used him.

  • t3chsupp0rt

    Those little inbred, stunted baby carrots.

  • Peri Evans Monday

    The Pitcarin islands, it wasn’t as big of a scandal as I thought, but I guess child molestation was rampant on the island before authorities were alerted and started to do shit about it. 2004.

    still trying to find this tiny ass town in aussieland using satellite view. Probably won’t work but I’m dying to see some kangeroos sleepin on people beds.

  • t3chsupp0rt

    Reminds me much of the McPoyles from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

  • tkaz

    I’m REALLY curious how this all started…WHY did the great great grandparent siblings reproduce anyway? Were they trapped in Hidden Valley & think they were the last 2 people on earth maybe? Were THEIR parents siblings???
    If there is ever a write up or study done on this I would totally read it.

    I bet the kangaroo was happy to get out of the cult.

  • tkaz

    Oooh…I knew this but didn’t think about it. This was a post on The Daily Mail link:

    “Australia was founded as a penal colony. The brother and sister that started this whole thing where probably children of criminals sent there or sent there as criminals themselves as teenagers/young adults…..”

  • Texas Ranger

    I think it was more of “because they were in Australia” situation to be honest.

  • Texas Ranger

    Are your eyes wompyjawed?

  • VenusDoom3

    Yeah, but you’re scary in a good, “we love you” kind of way. Unlike the monster spiders and shit you probably slay with machetes on a daily basis.

  • Guest

    ^See this comment for as warm a welcome as anyone could expect at the DD.

  • link07

    Vegetables in a refrigerator, but living in tents with no electricity? Spanning back over a hundred years? I don’t believe it

  • thebossessecretary

    The thought of sleeping with my brother is making me physically nauseated. Thanks for wrecking breakfast at my desk!

  • Coyote

    One doesn’t need to go to Australia to see a bunch of inbreeds; the hills of Missouri are full of ‘em. No kangaroos though.

  • tkaz

    SO, I found more.
    The parents (the mother of the 27 yr old) KNEW it was wrong. Wouldn’t let them go to the doctor for pregnancies so they wouldn’t be found out & she (2y yr old) secretly went on the pill at 16.

    The adult children didn’t want this but it was a way of life they adapted to.

  • Texas Ranger

    Am I the only one here that is hungry for a Baby Ruth candy bar? Hmmm? Hmmm?

  • Buffettgirl

    Aren’t you reason #1 Lovey? ;-p

  • Buffettgirl

    For the use of the word “wompyjawed” I might just have to fall in love with you…

  • Buffettgirl

    I read this yesterday and I’ve been horrified ever since. How does something like this happen at all, let alone so freaking close to a very major metropolis? How do you look at your slack-jawed, cross-eyed child and not know, deep down, that shit just ain’t right?

  • Buffettgirl

    And why in the FUCK was a kangaroo found sleeping on one of the beds???

  • Texas Ranger

    What does cattywompus do for ya?

  • Buffettgirl

    Right? Especially since my brother has turned into a useless, enormous lump of fat… oh gack… I’m never eating again…

  • Buffettgirl

    Now I’m wondering if the kangaroo is the unrelated sperm donor for the 5 year old???

  • Buffettgirl

    OK – finding this out really kind of bums me out. Norfolk and Pitcairn Islands are two places I have always wanted to visit… now I’m skeeved out and don’t want to get near Pitcairn.

  • Buffettgirl

    Fuck YOU Adam – great write – up! ;-p

  • Buffettgirl

    I’ve heard that one all of my life, so while slightly titillating, it’s nothing compared to what a new word like “wompyjawed” can do to me… I also love gobsmacked. It just sounds naughty… ;)

  • Kelly Eklectusbird

    Hey! My boyfriend is NOT related to me!

  • RedScarab

    The McPoyle family has been found.

  • RedScarab

    Two other reasons: The Snowtown murders and the Family Cult.

  • newstarshipsmell

    I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/ Athena

    That part’s just because it was Australia. I’m fairly certain that’s routine down there.

  • http://www.raymarquez.co.nr/ Adam Delia

    Fuck you Adam = We fuckin’ love you Adam…..right? :)

  • Aussie Sabbath

    Not quite, I live a bit further north in NSW so there’s better genetic material up here.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/ Athena

    lololol.

    What the fuck, Jaded? Are we only entertaining writers who’ve never been to the site before or something? Wait… that’s probably the only circumstance under which we can rope them in. Never mind.

  • Texas Ranger

    Ah, New South Wales….live anywhere the Lithgow Factory?

  • Texas Ranger

    I’d really like to know their answer for that one, I really would.

  • Texas Ranger

    Congratulations! Your one of the lucky ones it seems!

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Morbid

    He’s not new. This is his fourth article – he just changed his name. So in reality, he’s getting double-fucked. :P

  • Buffettgirl

    When I lived in Jo’burg people would ask me if we had bears & cougars in the backyard in Oregon (the wild, wild west you know…), and when I got back to Oregon people wanted to know what it was like to have elephants & lions in my backyard (since life there is just like the movie “Out of Africa” an all). Considering that none of these things ever happened to me, I thought the whole “kangaroos are everywhere, even in your bed” thing was an urban legend… silly me eh? ;-p

  • Aussie Sabbath

    No, I live in Newcastle. Lithgow is about 4 hours from here.

  • Aussie Sabbath

    Two more. Bushfires and scorching summer heat resulting in sunburn and heatstroke!

  • shanshanity

    The boring,truthful answer?-No.
    The exciting,fanciful answer-Why, yes! & we also use them as a mode of transport.Nothing more luxurious then gadding about town in a Kangaroos pouch.Oi Oi Oi!

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/ Athena

    I don’t know, I live in Seattle, known for its hipsters, and they’re everywhere… even in my bed occasionally.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com/ Athena

    So that’s how one gets double-fucked around here, huh? I’m experiencing a bit of a dry spell. Have to consider all of my options.

  • ultracreep

    I was reading up on the court documents available online, and all the adult women knew to lie about who fathered their children, therefore, they knew on some level that it was wrong and they did it fuckin’ anyway. :(

  • ultracreep

    The kangaroo was probably a relative too?

  • JohnQknowitall

    Where did the women with the ten children get money for their shopping?

  • JohnQknowitall
  • G.I.R.L.

    Lol I’m wondering the same.

  • Texas Ranger

    No, why have a fridge if no electricity…and more importantly…why you keep your veges in a non working fridge?

  • Leasha

    Am I the only one who is livid and depressed after reading the “children copulated with each other” and “..admitted to torturing animals.” part????

  • Aussie Sabbath

    Running their own freak show as a tourist attraction.

  • Aussie Sabbath

    Aw come now, I know how to use dunny paper and I can play a banjo acceptably. However, I’m from mainland Australia so I’m less inbred than the Tasmanians. I visited Tasmania twice and had to have my 2nd head removed.

  • http://www.dreamindemon.com Jaded

    Penal. Heh.

  • CatAtonic99

    Wow. That gave me a headache!

  • JohnQknowitall

    I think his cult was neo-nazi, children abused in an undisclosed way and he (they) die/bleach his (their) hair white.

  • wolfcat

    Keep bugs and animals out?

  • Vindictive

    You’ve never seen Tankgirl?

  • Peri Evans Monday

    :/ Sorry ahahah I only know about this cause when I was in 7th grade I was like fuck ‘merica i’m moving and thought like ‘Oh yeah Oceania sounds realistic” hahahahhaha

    Oceania looks incredible though, wish i was closer to it !

  • Lena60

    Ack! how sad they kept going and going.There is no fixing this .

  • Peri Evans Monday

    hahahah ERRYBODAY WANNA FUCKA ADAM EH ?

  • Peri Evans Monday

    hahhaah “There is no fixing this”
    hahahhahhaha so definite
    but so true hahahahhahaa

  • Buffettgirl

    No, I’ve never even heard of it. What is it about? ;)

  • Buffettgirl

    Hipsters? Is that a last resort? We’re quite hipster rich here in Portland too, they scare me… ;-P

  • Vindictive

    Based on a comic book. Post apocalyptic world where a corporation owns all the water and a woman fights the corporation aided by a tricked out tank and mutant kangaroo/human things. It takes place in Australia, so it’s completely plausible. Apparently.

  • Tina Sykes

    Craziness on the inbred story. I’ve heard of it but not like this. These people were out of control. Wish the story were longer w/ more to read & a photo would of been perfect. Most im sure are courious what inbred families look like- well, this family anyways lol

  • ShelbySP

    I actually looked this up and gave it another read after I read this story. The world is strange.

  • BrittBrittRoss

    Its like a welcome to a new writer, Lol!

  • Texas Ranger

    Do you have to spray the house regularly for them, or are they like fire ants, you just keep moving them around until they are in the neighbors yard? Another thing, I don’t know that I have seen a real life hipster in their real habitat…do they smell funny? They live in nests or caves? Do they bury their poo? Just wondering since it appears your an expert in Hipster mating rituals.

  • hicusdicus

    This sounds more like Florida than Australia. They most likely immigrated. It could happen.

  • hicusdicus

    I live in Arkansaw were we have woods and leaves and stink finger means something entirely different than having a new girl friend.

  • hicusdicus

    Whats the big deal? I have a goat.

  • hicusdicus

    Antibiotics will handle most cases of hipsters.

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/WildlifeSeriaLKiller Darrell FIne

    “Among the examples of human anomalies include an illiterate, speech
    impaired nine-year-old girl who “did not know how to use a toilet or
    what toilet paper was, a boy with a walking impairment and severe
    psoriasis, another with hearing and sight problems and yet another boy
    whose eyes were misaligned.”

    If that don’t make you wanna fuck yer sister, I DUNNO WHAT WILL!

  • billymadatchu

    have you ever considered giving third head?

  • Teleute

  • http://www.raymarquez.co.nr/ Adam Delia

    I’m trying my hardest to get updates for this story as they come in. My investigative journalism background is kicking in. I can tell because I’ve made 2 calls to Australia in the past few days.

  • Aussie Sabbath

    We don’t have volcanoes though. That’s one less thing trying to kill us.